Funerals

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YOU SHOULD READ THIS FROM BOTTOM TO TOP!
BE AWARE OF THE DATES...
IT'S AN OLD JOURNAL ENTRY!




=== last news about me... ===

:new:

Update on Jan. 19 2008

Well the funerals took place in Lyon on monday.
I've seen my grand-ma, quiet in her coffin, pale but calm... I put into her hand the Wishes cards for the new year that was in the envelop with the stamp ready to be sent, but she went before...

Then the ceremony. Well... I'm the only one who spoke. Thsi family lives in the past with old values such as keep all secrets silence, don't say the things. They belive as many people maybe as you, that during a funerals we should only cry and shut up.
NO, say i! No. We should make tributes to the dead, we should respect them. the best respect we could show is : THE TRUTH!
No i'd not kept my mouth closed, my grand-ma died in deep sufferances, i said the truth. i said that she died crying, she passed hte end of her life alone, that she was so much suffering because her son did not gave her love. that even the neighbours called the police...
I said that everyone should go and give a hug and take care, show their feelings to the people who are alone, ill, or old...
Mmmmh the reaction? (what i expected and wanted). the people there di dnot talked to me apart one woman who said that "my father" took care of her going shopping food for her... Yes he was there twice a week for some minutes and then insulted her and beat her. such people believe that taking care of a person is bringing food and helping with administrative thingies... Really we have not the same human values! The most important is to give love.
Then the reaction of my grand-ma's son. He stood up and shout several things that i did not understood, just something like i did not had the right to follow the coffin into the cemetary. I answered him : "What's happening? Do you fear to face the TRUTH?".
Of course some persons where taking his arms to impeach him to go and beat me. Come on guy you do not deserve anything good!

Grand-ma you're in peace now. Far from this so-called son who mistreated you... Sorry grand-ma i wasn't here for you, i live so far. It was so hard to hear an old woman crying desesperatly in need of love.

You all should go and give a phone call if you're far and give love physically, take the old people by the hand, you'll see, such people old and sick have no strenght, but take their hand and you'll see the strenght they will have into their hand, just incredible.

And no, i've not cried... Well just two tears.

Good Bye Grand-ma!



--::--:heart:--::--

Farewell - Si Do Mhaimeo I by karemelancholia
For my grand-ma.

(...)

Now the suns gone to hell
And the moons riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But its written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
Were fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

[Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits]





And PLEASE DON'T SEND ME WISHES FOR "MY FAMILY". MY FATHER BAD TREATED HER, HE DESERVES NO SUPPORT.
My GRAND- MA HAD ONLY THIS SO CALLED FATHER AND I.


ALL YOUR SUPPORT IS REALLY APPRECIATED, THANX FOR YOUR WORDS! :heart:


Many thanx to XNeedlesX Who did that for me and Ana, who lost her aunt.
:thumb74292391:

And this marvelous creation made by sweet ana akaLuneBleu :




Kare.


-------------------------


Entry on Jan. 9 2008.

As you know grand-ma is dead on January 8th 2008.

My so-called father did not call me. Hope he will did it this night.
I've called the city where she'll be buried. The funerals will not be before next week.
My poor grand-ma she died in deep loneliness.

Please lemme give an advice. If you know people who are lonely, above old people, they need affection, they need you, don't let them die so lonely please. Don't do that.
Don't think only in your life, think in others. In our modern societies we are too individualists.


I dunno what i'll say during the funerals, i want to respect her memory but i want also that eveyrone knows how she ended her life. It's such a shame!


-------------------------



Entry on : Jan. 3 2008.

well, here are the last news (sorry i've not answered to you yet...).

she made a cerebral attack. She has alzeimer, and various other mental problems.
what means that now none would believe me about my father's behaviour. what means now that my grand-ma will have first physical medical support and then psychiatric. she'll not die now but soon.
Of course a part of this is caused by her age, she's 93 eyars old. but also because of the treatment of my father : insults and so on.
I'm tired now, exhausted, none would believe me. i'll try to see a laywer. but well.

Kare.

-----------------------------

PREVIOUS ENTRY : Jan. 2 2008.

Here are the last news about my grand-ma (ya can read under to know more about what happened).
First sorry to write that, i need to talk a bit.
As i've told you my grand-ma feels bad, she's old.
she lives 950 kms far from me (something like 1900 miles). That's normally my father who "should" take care of her. But there is an ill-treatment, she treat bad her mother, he beat her and insult her. My grand-ma is dying of loneliness and abandonment. Today, as i could not get her on the phone yesterday, i phoned to her from work. A man answered me : a policeman.
I asked him if she was dead. No, not yet.
A Neighbour called the police because he said that my grand-ma was crying ans shouting all days long... they found my grand-ma on her bed semi-conscient. The police called the firemen (they all care about medical urgencies (like the 911 in the usa). When i phoned, the firemen where not yet here.
So i went to see my boss and told him that i could not stay here for the rest of the day. Then in the car, in the parking i phoned back to my grand-ma, the firemen where here. I talked to the police and the firemen. Explaining the situtation (will tell you more under....). My grand-ma in the background was shouting so much. the fireman told me that he will lead her to the hospital and then ask for a placement measure in an institute for old people. We will also ask for a supervision. My grand-ma if she survives, can't live on her own.

Well my father don't take care of her, he comes to see her twice a week, for some minutes, bringing her the food and making the papers, bills and so on. Insult her and go...
I phoned to my father. Remember that on dec. 24th i phoned to the firemen because my grand-ma felt really bad. the firemen came. When today i phoned to this so-called father his answer was : "again...", with an intonation of dissatisfaction, of boredom... Yes she is HIS mother...
My grand-ma was saying that she has none now who loves her, only me. She understood that she has no more son. That's the reason why she is dying.

Now a bit of the story of this so-called family.
My father is violent, when i was a child he beat my mother daily, always. He tried to kill her with a knife. I remember all that.
Then my parents divorced, of course. When about 15 years ago my grand-pa died, he took his dispositions, leading my father to the notary or judge, i don't know they did not told me about that. He made like a moral contract with my father where he engaged himself to take care of my grand-mother. You see the results.... Not to tell about the money that he took. But that's really not important. Where can be my grand-pa now he must really not be proud of his single son... the only son he ever get.

All this is my past my childhood takes me far from the concept of family.
I'll not say here what my mother did... But the whole family is very special. I'm single child, no sis no bros. safely for them. I'm glad that they never existed. That's one of the reason why i don't feast christmas, i don't want children nor a husband or wife. I want to stay single. simply as that. I prefer this, and i found in all that my balance. i live so far from them, my father and grand-ma are 950 kms far, and my mother 1200 kms (multiply per 2 - a bit more- for the miles).

This is just a short summary, because this is a feast time for you.
Tomorrow i'll call the hospital, social services, i'll probably need to go to Lyon (where they are) i don't know if i'll be here during the next days.

Maybe i'll make a creation this, maybe i need it, dunno. Beig here on deviantART helps me to think in something else, maybe i'll make the monthly features, contest newsletter...

Oh i almost forget : Happy New Year to you all! :heart:

Many Love, Kare.
(sorry for my english and the typos).


-------------------------------

PREVIOUS ENTRY : Dec. 25 2007.


[ This feast... ]


I don't feast christmas... No.
Because of various reasons... Well i'm used to pass xmas alone (hehe^^) with my lovely kitties., for me it's a day like another apart when i see some family movie or scene on tv, i prefer to change the channel...
BTW by blood i still have a family.

My mother someone good, stupid, egoiistic but good finally.
My Grand-Mother (mother of my so-called father...) very old and alone, she is about 94 years old, and she's dying. Her son go to visit her twice a week for some minutes only, bringing her food, the rest of the time she is alone, she does not even light the tv because she's afraid it can explode...
That's the last news i got from her when i went to see her (she lives in the other side of france...). I've seen her loosing her mind, making lil shouts of sufferances... The loneliness, abandonment is killing her, slowly.

Tonight, i phoned to her, she were making her lil shouts and crying : "i'm so lonely, your father came and insulted me, goodbye my lil daughter, goodbye...", none on the other of the phone.
Grand-ma, it seems that you're dying of loneliness.
Some years ago my father beat her... She so old...

I phoned to my mom to ask her to phone to my grand-ma. She did it and call me back. We decided that i'll call the fireman (here they also care of medical stuffs).
They went into her flat and let her there.

Tomorrow i'm gonna call the the social associations, the town hall and judge : i'll put in justice my "father", make a lawsuit, i think he has her trusteeship. Now someone must stop him. I'm enough strong now (i think) to defeat him, to beat him...


hope...



Kare



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•:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:•

I've always created in my soul,
in my alive and living dreams.
I've a melancholical soul...
i wander away and here.
maybe.
maybe you'll cross my path,
one day, or another.

. w a n d e r i n g s o u l .

•:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:••:*´¨`*:•

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Comments665
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xin-e's avatar
I know i'm late...But sorry to hear what happened...& People like your father will only live to suffer. It is called Karma!!
Keep being the strong person you are :)
:hug:
karemelancholia's avatar
xin-e's avatar
:nod:
God never sleeps :)
rhunel's avatar
Wow. I am so sad that your family is and has been so cruel. And that your father has forsaken all human kindness. I applaud you for standing up for your grandmother and telling the truth at her funeral. Regardless what worthless people who you have the misfortunate to be related to may think, you are a better and stronger person than they. Keep on with what makes you good and nurtures your spirit. You will shine.
Love,
Debra
karemelancholia's avatar
may thanx for what you said sweetie!
i prefer to not be like them really. i prefer to be a human being, not what they are.
:kiss: Kare.

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LavenderSeaFairy's avatar
I'm sorry for your lost. My best wish for you and ONLY you and those who cared about your grandma, NOT you father. He can drop of the face of the planet for all I care. I applaud your courage and your strenght for what you did. I don't know if this helps but I like to belive your grandma is in a better place where she can watch over and guide you through you journy in life and where your so called father can no longer hurt her. Atleast that's what I like to belive about my 2 grandpas and my other grandma. That they are now my guardian angels watching over me. :cuddle: :pray: :hug: :cuddle: :heart:

--
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“Cute but Psycho, Things Even out” One of my fav quotes from the Happy Bunny series :XD: :psychotic:
The Cute but Insanely Psychotic Fairy Gummybear [link]
karemelancholia's avatar
she died in january, it's far now.
Yes if he could disapear from the face of the planet would be great. But first i want him to suffer!

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KeremGo's avatar
I'm deeply sorry for your loss :hug:
karemelancholia's avatar
Madfairy7's avatar
I admire you for your strength! I am really sorry about the situation with your father, and feel very sorry about yor grandma-! I know that it was really hard for you, and you managed to overcome the obstacles...You are such great person...:hug:
karemelancholia's avatar
:flirty: i'm a great person! :thnks:
i should ignore him.

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Madfairy7's avatar
Yes, that is probably the best thing! Don`t let him bug you:)!:iconpounceglomp:
MonicaMarinho's avatar
You've not cried, but now I did, after reading your words.

I just want to say that the world would be a better place to be, if there were more people like you who understand how valuable life is, and what really matters in the end.

:heart:
karemelancholia's avatar
Oh dear you should not!!!! That's just a story like many others, and certainely not the worst!! Oh no. I feel lucky to be what i am. And really there are people who feels worser than I, see those who need food, shelter, home... they did nothing to get that bad luck. they were just born in the bad place. i'm lucky. And allthis built me. Because of this past i'm a what i am. And proud to be :giggle:
really i should shake the hand of this father to thank him to make me what i am! ah ah ah!!!
you knwo i've several values. And ther's always a sentence i say to myself : All experiences are good because they are exeperiences. And from experiences you learn, you advance and improve yourself. so there's always something positive in what you live, even if at the moment it looks like the worst moment of your life!
That's how i've always make a step ahead, alays, i'll never fall, on the contrary i'll be better and stronger, with more knowledge! none can hit my back.. Only myself i can do that... they will not catch me! ;-)

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MonicaMarinho's avatar
I admire your strenght my darling.

It is very inspiring and warm :hug and I keep what I said, wish this world had more people like you.


:heart:
Rickbw1's avatar
Sorry to hear of your loss. Hope someone is close by to hold your hand , wipe your tears and give you a :hug:
inspyretash's avatar
I think your speech was wonderful considering the customs over there for funerals. I commemorate you. :salute: :cuddle:

My Grandma, died in pain (from Cancers) and all alone a few years ago now.

I don't understand how people can be so disrespectful at funerals, even the immediate family. I spoke up and said what was on my mind, when they did that, I was disgusted by their behaviour; especially as it was my last opportunity to spend time with Grandma, before she was buried.
karemelancholia's avatar
thank you a lot. But most people thinks that secrets might stay hidden, esp. if they are bad.
azelle59's avatar
congratulation for your strengh, hope that i'll be fine soon! :hug:
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