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About Female Fantasy Armor

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about those who defend 'bikini mail' in fantasy.
i choose Red Sonja because she has one of the most stupid outfits in comics, not to mention that her male counterpart (Conan) normally fights bare-chested but when he can get some armor he wears it, she could get some better armor but she keeps that ridiculous bikini that looks so levy you could pierce it with your fingers!
ok, i know that most of readersgamersroleplayers are horny teenagers, but still.

about rants from defenders:
"you are gay!"
this shows you are sexually insecure;

"you are sexist because you think that strong grrrls must dress like nuns!"
in most of fantasy gamecomicwhatever male characters are fully covered in armor, while female armor is, of course, bikini mail, it would not be that bad if you could choose to have your female character wear some realistic, protective armor, but even full plates for females are made of metal bikini, it's annoying and stupid. think about Caska from Berserk: she is hot as hell, she's a well-developed character and a competent fighter, and she wears realistic armor. or think about Female Shepard from Mass Effect, or Eowyn from LOTR, who wears a normal armor. a female character does not need to be sexualized to be sexy and attractive. you want fanservice? show your fully-armored female character strip for a bath or have her wear a dress outside of the action.

"females are too weak and have not enough stamina to wear full plate armor!"
they are too weak and have not evough stamina to wear full plate armor designed for men, a full plate designed for a 90-kg man is not the same thing of a full plate designed for a 65-kg woman.

"full plate is heavy! you need mobility! the greeks/celts/native americans fought naked!"
maybe full plate is heavy, but it can still save your life since slashing weapons and arrows are deflected, and that's a BIG advantage when there is people willing to kill you, in fantasy it doubles since you are probably happy to have some protection between your innards and a monster's teeth. plus, full plate is heavy, but it's not that incapacitating, with enough training you can still swing effectively a weapon and keep fighting for a lot of time(EDIT: actually, videos show that a trained wearer can still run, roll, tumble and even cartwheel while wearing plate armor). for mobility, there is scale armor, chainmail, or padded leather, having boobs and buttcheeks exposed doesn't increase your mobility. and about the greeks, that is just heroic nudity in art, in reality they fought in very heavy bronze armor, that's why during the greco-persian wars they had an advantage: the persians had levy infrantry whose equipment was scarcely effective against heavy bronze armor, and they couldn't use mobility because greece is almost all mountains and they couldn't use cavalry, and persian cavalry was swift but also heavily armored, the late parthian cathaphracts were fully armored too, mobility is useless if the opponent just needs one swing to hack a piece of you off. about the celts, sometimes they fought naked, but mostly those of the lower classes who couldn't afford armor, the celts were quite good blacksmiths, produced high-quality armor and the romans learnt a trick or two from them about forging. for the native americans, they were hunters/gatherers without a real military, plus they didn't have metallurgy(EDIT: also, a handful of native american tribes crafted levy armor from wood, leather and bone). but the problem is not heavy armor, but the swimsuit-like design of female armor: exposed buttcheeks are stupid since anyone should just stick a blade in them and you'd have a leg crippled, midriff is even worse because of innards and if you fight a good slahing weapon user you're virtually dead, a single scimitar swing would CUT YOU IN FUCKIN' HALF, not to mention cleavage, you could write on your right boob 'weapon goes here', even without counting that it exposes your heart(one-hit-kill vital point) boobs are sensitive and frail, even a hit from a club would be very painful, and a cut would destroy them, so bikini mail is PERFECTLY useless since it doesn't protect even the areas it covers. goin' back to 'the Greeks/Celts/Native Americans fought naked' the problem comes with double standards of nudity: when male nudity is shown(example: the loincloth-clad Conan) is 'heroic nudity' AKA show how muscular and strong this badass is(sometimes it is fanservice, but VERY rarely), when female nudity is shown, it is nearly always for blatant fanservice. about that, male nudity nearly always shows men whose phisique fits their profession(mostly beefy muscular manly male men who are believable as fighters), female nudity pretty much always shows tall, slim supermodels no matter what their profession is and the main difference between multiple female characters is 'are her bewbs as big as her head or bigger than her head?'(one exception: Caska again, we see her nekkid and she has quite muscle, she is sexy but her phisique is that we'd expect from an experienced female warrior, in stark contrast with, again, Red Sonja who is always built like a top model, probably because the average horny teenager feels his virility threatened by the idea of a woman who is more athletic than him).

"Distraction bonus!"
a man who is on a battlefield does not give a shit if his next opponent has boobs, he's just willing to kill anything that moves and not being killed, when a human is fighting for hisher life all sexual urges are shut down, if you know someone who is in the army, try to ask him if he'd stop in the middle of a battle because he saw a pair of boobs(or in the case of a woman, if she saw some six-pack).

"characters must be attractive!"
normally you do not think about being 'attractive' when you are going to join bloodshed, you think about wearing something that would give you a bigger chance of coming out of it with most of your bodyparts still attached and most of your blood still in your veins, a battlefield is not a party. as i said, they can be sexy out of combat.

"it's fantasy, it's not supposed to be realistic!"
(The same guys that use this argument will then typically scream "historical accuracy!" when defending casual sexism/racism in a setting...)
Berserk, Lord of the Rings, A Game of Thrones, Fantaghiro, even Conan the Barbarian(the novels, not the comics); all of these fantasy sagas were (mostly)realistic in fighting, armor and weapon design including female armor, and military tactics, and they're fooken' awesome. adding some realism and treating fantasy like a logical, believable world makes it more interesting, intriguing and relatable. That's why the Warcraft movie didn't work, you can't use Warcraft's cartoonish aesthetic for a live-action movie, it doesn't look like a real world but like a cosplay faire(and given how much CGI was used, it should have been animation from the start).

well, i said it.

adult filter because of decapitation and Sonja's Escher Girl anatomy(seriously, look at her! did the guy break her spine and remove her bowels before beheading her? oh no, it's just that when you draw women you always have to show bewbs and butt together, gals must be schmexy even when people lops their heads off!).

EDIT: this demotivational is free to use.
Red Sonja is Copyright of Robert Erwin Howard, and the Red  Sonja comics(including the one i took the pic from) are property of Marvel Inc.

EDIT 2.0= Check this out: dastierlockjaw.deviantart.com/… a bit too stylized for my tastes, but we've got a female warrior that looks like a warrior.
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Licca-ChanFTW's avatar

Female beauty is a sin. Plus, ugly girls tend to be nicer than silicone sluts who thirst for dicks. Ugly women are not monsters. Beautiful women are succubus monsters.