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1-v2-Posted-20-02-16 by KaidokJ

Chapter One: Origins of an Unlikely Llama...

Far, far away, on a planet, many extra-lite years from here, a young llama like creature gruesomely murdered his parents in a dark alleyway, one night after a visit to the theatre. Opera just wasn’t his thing. For this heinous crime, he was forever banished to the butthole of the universe, and forced to slum it on a backwater blue planet called Earth. Also his home planet blew up, and everyone died.

Shortly upon arriving on Earth he was bitten by a radioactive gibbon, and from that day forth he would be known far and wide, as the llama with a bad rash on his left leg. While being treated for his injury, he was accidentally given a bad batch of green blood belonging to a shirtless roid-raging physicist. Disgusted with the service he was getting, the llama stormed out, but before he could even make it past the car park, a passing truck deliberately dumped a vat of toxic waste all over him, as a joke. When he finally awoke and the glowing eventually subsided, he was given a clean bill of health, of which he had 23 minutes to pay. Faced with crippling debt and an ever looming deadline, the young llama took to the streets and embraced a life of crime.

Murder, larceny, armed robbery, horse rustling, the llama read about them all, but nothing really appealed to him. In the end he decided to go with what he knew. Jaywalking. And he was really good at it. 11th Street, Madison Ave, Rodeo Drive, he crossed them all. Unfortunately, jaywalking wasn’t one of those crimes that proved lucrative, so he retired from crime and moved into tabloid journalism. More of a lateral move, really.

But with this new job came a sense of purpose and meaning. He was finally making a difference. No more would the private lives of famous people go unreported. Nor would sweet, gullible housewives suffer the indignity of leaving a grocery store without first learning about the latest sighting of ghost Asian Elvis. When that crack pot, gap-toothed hillbilly lost 3 weeks memory and all feeling in his left testicle, claiming alien abduction, he was there.  When that sextuplet 3 headed horse-cow was born to a pair of conjoined mixed gender sheep, he was there. And when that narcissistic, socialite, insta-fame queen went to the gym without makeup, he was there. Snapping pics and taking names. Because he had a hidden camera, and he wasn’t afraid to lie in print.

But this llama had a secret. By day he was a bad mouthed, hyper aggressive paparazzo, but by night he would harass a different brand of social pond scum. Once a hardened criminal himself, he was perfectly familiar with the seedy underbelly of the city’s criminal element. And as it turned out, the combination of being from another planet, being bitten by a glowing gibbon, some mutated blood and being doused in radiation, eventually caused him to develop extraordinary powers, the likes of which no man could match. With his astounding abilities to read the thoughts of small rodents; to clear a city sized square block with his heinous farts; to slow dance to dubstep; and the less practical but by no means less impressive ability to sneeze with his eyes open, it wasn’t long before the criminals of the city started fearing his name. And from that day forth, that name was, the Amazingly Incredible, Somewhat Dark and Kind of Super, Kevin the Flying Green Alien Knight Llama. 

So here is a revised version of chapter 1. For those who are familiar with TKC (The Kevin Chronicles) from my journal, you might notice some changes, but the content is essentially the same, just some polishing. For those that aren't familiar with TKC, this is the first chapter in an ongoing short chapter series about a llama named Kevin, but prefers to be addressed as Albert. I started writing about Kevin in my llama reply comments and after being asked repeatedly to write longer format, I decided to expand on Kevin's adventures.
I have been posting these chapters over the past month and half in the journal, but I felt that the limitations of the journal format made it difficult to share the stories with other deviants, hence the repost as literature deviations. I will continue to post, hopefully, the previously completed chapters over this week, and then posting the new chapter, 7, at the usually time on the weekend. Chapters usually get posted weekly.
So, I hope people enjoy it. If you've read it before, I hope you are happy with the changes, and to those who haven't, I hope you get a kick out of Kevin and his wacky tails.

P.S. To all those who favorited the journal entries, feel free to fav these as well, but don't feel obliged to. The fav reply message will be the same as the journal entry ones were.

The rest of the series can be found here.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsubvirgins:
subvirgins Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're so creative with a marvelous and natural sense of humor. Who else would of thunk it: A (formally) criminally insane, radioactive Alien Llama named Kevin (for short).
:lol: :giggle: Love it!
Reply
:iconkuronekokeef:
KuroNekoKeef Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2018  Professional Artist
So good !
So nicely writing, your imagery skills is great !
Thanks very much for this moment of laughter and relaxation !
Reply
:iconaotar:
Aotar Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2018
This is some funny writing! Clap I chuckled once... or maybe even twiceHikaru Hitachiin - Thumbs Up 
Reply
:iconsilvolf:
Silvolf Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2018  Professional Traditional Artist
Lol this is great! I really love your writing style. And yes, I once tried sneezing with my eyes open. To my disappointment my eyeballs didn't fly out.
Reply
:icontylerfreeflight:
TylerFreeFlight Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Tee hee hee hee! This is funny to read and very clever. Juxtaposition seems to be a talent of yours.
Reply
:iconamypond444:
AmyPond444 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
This... is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read XD

Great job!
Reply
:icondecember012:
December012 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
haha... nice story! Llama Emoji-78 (Clapping) [V4] 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. :D
Reply
:iconeshisnu:
EshiSnu Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2018  Professional General Artist
I read most of this fine. I enjoyed it but, I broke after the "slow dance to dubstep". It was that point, that I could no longer look at Kevin...ugh Albert, the same.
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018   Digital Artist
What? That is an extremely rare and versatile skill... :nod:
Reply
:icontestyart:
TestyART Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Gosh, I just love how the story pretty much does a 180 in every sentence..
I never know what to expect, except that the twist will be hilarious! Great work, man! :D
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018   Digital Artist
I'm glad you enjoyed the ride. :)
It's true, I have difficulty keeping my train of thought on one track at a time. :D
Reply
:iconsister-of-nico:
Sister-of-Nico Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018
well... this is great Laughing :D (Big Grin) 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks.:D 
Reply
:iconsister-of-nico:
Sister-of-Nico Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2018
Yw :)
Reply
:iconebonywings67:
EbonyWings67 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
This is hilarious. Glad I checked it out! 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018   Digital Artist
I'm glad you checked it out too. Thanks. :D
Reply
:iconebonywings67:
EbonyWings67 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
No prob!
Reply
:iconsktachi:
SKTachi Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2018  Student General Artist
This is SUPER GOOD!
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018   Digital Artist
Lol. Nice pun. And thanks. :D
Woooosh 
Reply
:iconazurealeceia:
AzureAleceia Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
So glad I decided to check this out. You have impressive writing skills my friend.
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2018   Digital Artist
I'm glad you stopped by too. :love:
And thanks. :D
Reply
:iconrosa-rosae:
Rosa-Rosae Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018

Applause!
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. :)
Reply
:icondoubledande:
DoubleDandE Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2018   General Artist
Makes sense now as to the story in the comment. 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2018   Digital Artist
Well, it started in the comment and people wanted more, so I tried writing more. Thanks for taking the time to check it out. :D
Reply
:icondoubledande:
DoubleDandE Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018   General Artist
No problem. 
Reply
:iconpiturantonio:
piturantonio Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Wow so many origin stories lol. 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. :)
Packed full of all that origin story goodness. :D
Reply
:iconpiturantonio:
piturantonio Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
:)
Reply
:iconrodrigovga:
rodrigovga Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's a good story dude
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. :) 
Reply
:iconkislotnui-ojog:
Kislotnui-Ojog Featured By Owner Edited Nov 17, 2018  Professional General Artist
Hahaha funny story!
Everything is possible and even alien llamaLlama-Emoji-12 (Left and Right) [V1] 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. :)

And that is definitely true. :D
Reply
:icongem-d:
Gem-D Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha awesome story!!! I really enjoyed it!Llama 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. That's really encouraging. :D
Reply
:icongem-d:
Gem-D Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure :D
Reply
:iconnastykarma:
NastyKarma Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Woaw La la la la :clap: 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. :D
Reply
:iconnastykarma:
NastyKarma Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:happybounce: rabbit heart emoji You're Welcome Speech Bubble 1 - BeemoteYou're Welcome Speech Bubble 2 - Beemote 
Reply
:iconcaia-mei:
Caia-Mei Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad this is getting attention really, I can tell your writing is very good from this story alone. why not let people know you've written more and improved? this is from 2 years ago :U
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. That means a lot. :D

Well, a lot of this series was written around the same time, so the quality might not be all that different. An the first one sort of gently leads into the rest of chapters, even though there is no linear connection. Plus this series links in with my llama reply so there is good "synergy". :D
At the moment, most of the writing stuff that I do is in the fav reply stories and in the most recent deviation descriptions stories (Check out Sir Goober's adventures in Inktober folder as an example) . So basically, most people are exposed to my writing style pretty frequently.
Also, I am planning on translating the whole TKC into comic format sometime soon, so I will eventually link everything back to that. So while the first chapter is pretty old, it still gets people's attention and I can't complain about that. :D
Reply
:iconintuitivemoth:
IntuitiveMoth Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018   General Artist
No laughing matter. Horrible incident.

Sorry, to hear this about your llama.
Radioactivity can cause a lot of toxins to the brain and add
diseases that traumatize the body (animal body). Surprise the llama didn't
develop abilities, or just yet...

My heart goes out. Llama Green  Llama Love Kindness goes a long way, as we build one batch in our heard infected. Hehe. Nod 
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018   Digital Artist
Quite right. Radiation exposure to a llama, to which I am only mildly acquainted, is a serious condition that should not be made light of. The last thing I want is to encourage others to purposefully expose their pets to similar circumstances in the hope of producing superllama like powers...:D
But he did get powers, just really lame ones. (small rodent telepathy, he can slow dance to techno music, really bad gas, like epically bad, and he can sneeze with his eyes open)

Also, you might want to save your sympathies. I'm only writing this dope's biography because he blackmailed me into it. He deserves everything that comes his way... :D
Reply
:iconvyolain:
Vyolain Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2018
Kevin

*cries*
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2018   Digital Artist
?
Reply
:iconearthangel2222:
earthangel2222 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:clap:
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2018   Digital Artist
:D
Reply
:icon9b8ll:
9b8ll Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
what a damn good Written Story!! Yeah I am going to read more now!! Seriously Keep it up!! LUL
Reply
:iconkaidokj:
KaidokJ Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2018   Digital Artist
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. :) 
Reply
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