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About Digital Art / Artist Core Member J. L. BrostromMale/Australia Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
11 Month Core Membership
Statistics 236 Deviations 12,939 Comments 24,762 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

139 - I eat swabs like you for breakfast... by KaidokJ 139 - I eat swabs like you for breakfast... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 116 32 138 - Girl Genius Fan art - It's for Science! by KaidokJ 138 - Girl Genius Fan art - It's for Science! :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 178 25 137 - Twins, Basil! Twins... by KaidokJ 137 - Twins, Basil! Twins... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 126 27 136 - Medicine is just my hobby... by KaidokJ 136 - Medicine is just my hobby... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 78 12 135 - I'll have what she's having... by KaidokJ 135 - I'll have what she's having... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 172 42 Inktober 31: Slice - Goober, Gunderson Goober by KaidokJ Inktober 31: Slice - Goober, Gunderson Goober :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 122 40 Inktober 30: Jolt - CLEAR! by KaidokJ Inktober 30: Jolt - CLEAR! :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 69 23 Inktober 29: Double - Old-school Uber driver by KaidokJ Inktober 29: Double - Old-school Uber driver :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 118 19 Inktober 28: Gift - Unofficial Goober/Kevin X-Over by KaidokJ Inktober 28: Gift - Unofficial Goober/Kevin X-Over :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 66 23 Inktober 27: Thunder - Any thunder-box in a storm by KaidokJ Inktober 27: Thunder - Any thunder-box in a storm :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 123 48 Inktober 26: Stretch - Yoga Class of 2018 BCE by KaidokJ Inktober 26: Stretch - Yoga Class of 2018 BCE :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 69 34 Inktober 25: Prickly - Mommie dearest. by KaidokJ Inktober 25: Prickly - Mommie dearest. :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 79 39 Inktober 24: Chop - Quick drop, wet plop... by KaidokJ Inktober 24: Chop - Quick drop, wet plop... :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 76 16 Inktober 23: Muddy - Let's Wrastle! by KaidokJ Inktober 23: Muddy - Let's Wrastle! :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 56 22 Inktober 22: Expensive - A fair exchange by KaidokJ Inktober 22: Expensive - A fair exchange :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 42 24 Inktober 21: Drain - What the duck? by KaidokJ Inktober 21: Drain - What the duck? :iconkaidokj:KaidokJ 27 9

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KaidokJ
J. L. Brostrom
Artist | Digital Art
Australia
STOP! WARNING – Random Silliness Ahead.
I accept no responsibility for humor related injuries and/or loss of intelligence. :D

Have you ever had one of those days that completely changed your life, freed your mind and fundamentally defined who you are as a woman? No, me neither, probably because of the man parts. One time I got close, though. I had a deeply meaningful conversation with a world famous spiritual guru who opened my eyes to the universe, eternity and the meaning of life, but it’s not really the same is it. Admittedly this event is fairly insignificant within the context of my life story, but it’s just been playing on my mind recently. Hormones probably. I’ve been taking prescription alligator hormones just for kicks, and I’ve found it makes me a little nostalgic. Anyway, if you want to get to the meat of my life, I’ll just get out of your way so you can reach the buffet table. But for everyone else, I will start at the middle.

From the young age of 63 I developed a hankering for the finer things in life. Lots of money, fancy cars, beautiful women, these things I could do without, but a good Liechtenstein Eel Parfait I just couldn’t deny myself any longer. So I abandoned my lucrative 6th decimal place job, gave notice to the kids, kissed my neighbor’s wife goodbye, and ran for my life to the nearest airport.

I never made it to Liechtenstein however. There was a plane crash. My plane. And I know it crashed because I saw it on the news, while being detained by airport security. People make jokes about TSA but they really saved my bacon. True, they ate it while I was detained, but if they hadn’t saved it in the first place, it would have been lost somewhere in the Himalayas. And everyone knows, Sherpas just don’t appreciate good Canadian bacon.

So after I was finally released on probation I returned home, my dream in tatters, my position filled by an automated answering machine, and bacon-less. I didn’t know what to do. Without my bacon I didn’t think I could go on. I just didn’t feel like living anymore. Thankfully, I didn’t have to. As it turned out, the TSA never filed my detainment with their superiors, so as far as the government was concerned I had boarded the plane currently playing 52 pick-up somewhere in Eastern Europe. According to public record, I was dead.

Not being one to dwell on life’s little challenges I decided to explore my options as a member of the Grateful Dead. However, since I was never very musical, and I didn’t actually know anyone in the band, I was soon discovered and thrown from the tour bus somewhere in Nevada. Which actually turned out to be a lucky break because Las Vegas was in Nevada. I’d always wanted to go, but had never had the weasels. Of course, the only thing I knew about Las Vegas was that it was somewhere in Nevada, but I figured that was enough to go on.

So after spending 4 years wandering around the desert, living off the land, the sky, and the harvest from an illegal marijuana farm, I finally discovered the fabled location of the Great City of Vegas. Unfortunately by the time I actually got there, it was closed. Renovations apparently. But it was probably for the best. I’d already spent all my weasels on a lifetime supply of candy corn not two days previous. What can I say, I’ve always been an impulse shopper.

Like this one time, on Ebay, I had the opportunity to purchase the second string line up for the St. Louis Rams, and even though I only had half of what they were offering, I rushed down to the local loan shark and took out a sizable advance. Unfortunately by the time I got back, the auction had closed, but I did have enough for a mated pair of Alaskan circus hamsters, so I figured that was nearly as good. Boy was I wrong. Those little bastards bit off my left eyebrow, chewed through the crotch of every pair of pants I owned, and completely destroyed my credit history. But as luck would have it, the loan shark was a big fan of specialty rodents and agreed to take them in exchange for my kneecaps. A fair trade if ever I made one.

Now in case you are reading this and come to the conclusion that I have led a charmed life you couldn’t be more wrong. This all happened before I really hit my stride as walking disaster area. Why I look back at these times as the true golden years that they were. But don’t despair for me. It’s just as my second cousin, Arnold’s pappy used to say to him, “Margaret, no man is going to want you. You’ve got a face like a mule’s arse.” Wise words. True too, Arnold never did find a man.

Also,
Llama Stamp by grovyle-n-wolfluvr
And you also get a free bit of random silliness for your trouble. :D
Interests
So I've been gone a while but I have returned, this time with knowledge. (Disclaimer: Knowledge for external use only. Do not consume and keep away from small incontinent pets.)

1. There is no 'F' in the word sabbatical. Especially not a silent one. Even though there totally should be. As you can see I am still very disappointed.

2. My attempt at starting a new hipster trend of hot rolling whiskers was, I'm sad to report, a complete failure. The hair has been burnt and all evidence of the experiment has been destroyed. Also, thanks to a needlessly complex NDA I cannot discuss the details without suffering heinous legal repercussions. 

3. My local clowder of cats aren't as fashionably progressive as they think they are. Personally, I don't know why they're complaining, their whiskers will straighten out eventually. The dogs never seemed to mind.

4. That the legal system is willing to accept a class action law suit filed by cats as long as they can cite applicable precedent. Long story short, of course they could. Everyone has heard of Gregson vs. Sgt. Mittens. I should have seen that coming...

5. Oh, and I also learned how to have fun drawing again. No biggie. :)

Personally, if I had to chose, I'd have to say that number 4 was the real life lesson here. My career in the fashion industry is finished all thanks to some overly litigious felines...  

Journal History

Activity


Just a heads up. I've noticed that over the past couple weeks, I haven't been getting all my notifications, specifically favorite notices. So if you haven't received a thank you containing the usually silliness recently, let me know. Apparently dA is on the case, so hopefully it will be fixed soon. Sorry for the inconvenience. We will now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. 
brainwash   

No Need to Thank Me

Heya Arty People. :wave:

Just a quick FYI. I give out a lot of llamas. If you're here, you probably got one. Welcome! But the thing is, writing "You're welcome" every time someone thanks me for giving one is getting to be a full time job. So unfortunately, I'm going to have to stop. :no:
However, that does not mean you can't post "thank you for the llama". Feel free, I wouldn't want to stop you. :D
I just can't reply with "You're welcome. :)" every time.

Having said that, if you want to chat, or if you want to embrace your absurd side and post something else (but keep it reasonably clean, there's kids on this site), feel free to do that too. I try to get to my replies as promptly as possible but sometimes it might take a little bit. Sorry about that. ^^;

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconw-r-draw:
W-R-Draw Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
Thank you for the llama! :la: :llama:
Reply
:iconletadarnell:
LetaDarnell Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2019
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconmariodan23:
Mariodan23 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2019
Happy Belated Easter Day. Here's a Easter video. Hope you enjoy it. 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P (Razz)eIgGc…
Reply
:iconcaia-mei:
Caia-Mei Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Easter ` by Caia-Mei
Reply
:iconrlgarrard:
rlgarrard Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2019  Hobbyist Photographer
Many thanks for the llama :D
Reply
:iconderrenlar:
DerrenLar Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Bunny Emoji-87 (Thanks) [V5] Colorful Llama Thanks Starry Llama Thanks 
Reply
:iconundomiel321:
Undomiel321 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconblackvegetable:
Blackvegetable Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2019
Sorry I'm late, thanks for the llama - here's one for you too! :bow:
Reply
:icongreenishfury:
GreenishFury Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2019  Student Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the Llama! :3
Reply
:iconmariodan23:
Mariodan23 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2019
Happy St. Patrick's Day. Here's a St. Patrick's Video. Hope you enjoy it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMYgSu…
Reply
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