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I'll Make It Through This Year ~ PPAU Quest

justspillingcoldtea

Published: Jan 22, 2023

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Character Plover (OC)Character Starfinder (OC)Location Pyrrhia/Pantala

Description

‘In which Plover & Starfinder aren’t alright right now, but goddamnit, they’re still going to try.

I genuinely made myself tear up a few times while writing this. Not because it’s sad but because it’s heart-breakingly sweet. Plover & Star have been through a lot recently (with Mouth of Babel and Starfinder getting kidnapped and turned into a Doppelganger), plus both have heavy pasts they’ve yet to confront. But they’re still there for one another, and while grief & recovery is a process, it’s a lot easier with other people by your side.

That’s to say, Plover & Starfinder are officially the only characters returning from Mouth of Babel with a support system and good mental health practices.

They’re going to Build A Bear and get bubble tea while everyone else crumbles around them. Good for them. Plus, they’re moving in together, so they’re always nearby if they need one another! Just– they’re far too sweet & supportive, and I adore them.

This piece is a spiritual sequel to last year’s Stay! Plover & Star have learned their lesson on shutting one another out & instead turn to one another when needed. Let’s go, team character growth.

But yes, this piece is one of my favourite quests I’ve written & drawn so far, and I hope you all enjoy it as well!

Quest: New Years Grieve

Featuring: Plover & Starfinder

Word Count: 1685

•••

A bright banner was hanging in the grand hall, with “Welcome Back” written in big bubble letters. If Plover were any crueller, they would’ve cackled.

The party was half empty– with most of its honoured guests lying in hospital beds across the building.

Plover loved their peers, but they weren’t the best at situational awareness. Plover could excuse scheduling a party before a therapy session, but having caviar was just plain stupidity. Luckily, Plover disposed of it before anyone else noticed.

Not any of the guests would’ve noticed. Of the few that showed up, most were huddled silently in chairs or corners, all wearing the expression Plover saw in the mirror on those bad days. That look of blankness, of not processing things.

Plover sat there, sipping their sparkling water in the echoing silence.

Someone sniffled in the background.

…

Yeah, screw this.

“A toast!” Plover called out, their ringing voice drawing all eyes to them as they raised their glass in the air. They promptly dropped it on the ground, smiling at the musical ringing as the shattered pieces settled on the floor. “‘To ditching this echo chamber of internalized guilt. I'm going to process my emotions like a healthy person. See you, losers!”

“H-hey!” came a soft rebuttal, and Plover glanced up to meet Starfinder’s violet eyes across the room.

“Oh, not you, Star,” Plover chimed as they made their way towards the exit, waving Starfinder along. “You’re cool. Let’s ditch together.”

Plover didn’t stop to look back toward Star, but judging by the comical sputtering followed by claws tapping along the marble floors, she was following them. Once they’d rounded the corner down the hallway away from the grand hall, Starfinder jogged to catch up to Plover’s side.

“That was rude of you.”

“I know,” Plover replied while smirking at their girlfriend. “But it made you smile.”

“T- that’s not what matters here!” Star chastized, but she was terrible at hiding her smiles.

“But did you see everyone’s faces? It’ll do them good to snap them out of that wallowing,” Plover laughed and was still giggling to themself as they finally came up to the eighth-floor dorms, pausing at the one marked Diamond. “‘Let me in?”

“Of course.”

Starfinder’s room was a mess, as always– covered in notes and paper and with rugs strewed haphazardly across the floor. But, also, as always, it was comfortably dark and cozy. The bed had just the right amount of spring as Plover leaned against it, sitting on the floor.

After a moment, the lamp on the desk flickered to life, casting the room in a soft pink glow. Starfinder huffed out a plume of smoke from lighting it, flicking the hatch closed as she came to sit on the floor a few feet away from Plover.

“You weren’t joking in the hall,” Starfinder eventually said, keeping her gaze down as she traced patterns in the rug’s weave. “About the guilt?”

“I wasn’t. Many people got hurt there, and I know there’s therapy happening, but I don’t think most people are healing. Mentally. I work in the hospital– it’s bad.” Plover hissed through their teeth, shaking off the memories of all their coworkers– friends– lying injured under their care. “I’m worried for you.”

Another pause, long enough that Plover glanced up, catching Star biting her lip, curling in on herself before she whispered a reply.

“Thank you, but I’ll be all right. It will take a while, but I’ll be all right. After all, I’m not alone. I never was.”

Plover hummed, sliding their hand closer to Star, not touching but leaving the invitation open. “Well, I’ll be here for as long as you want me.”

Star shook her head but still took Plover’s hand. She sighed, squeezing it tight before continuing.

“Clearsight said that to me down there– to hold on, and that help was coming. And I can’t stop thinking about it since she’s never spoken to me outright. It’s–”

“Unnerving?”

Again Star shook her head, darkly chuckling to herself. “Well, you’ve got to be close to dying for your past life to give you moral support. So yes.”

Plover didn’t know how to respond to that. It felt unthinkable in a way that didn’t make sense to them. Because Plover dealt with the impossible constantly– their girlfriend was a reincarnated messiah, their best friend was an undead ghost, and they’d just gotten back from defeating an evil beyond imagining.

But the genuine possibility of Starfinder dying was–

Unthinkable.

Plover ran their thumb across the back of Star’s hand, feeling each small scale in detail. The texture pushed back the grey floodwaters lapping at their feet.

They sighed. “Did I tell you about my dream of you?”

Starfinder shrugged. “In passing.”

“Well, I dreamed of you in Baikal,” Plover chimed as they took a deep breath, trying to dull the horror of– That Dream. And of what followed. “Not of your Doppel, but of you, ‘trapped in that larder. It felt so real– thought it might have been your prophecy powers transferring to me through our kiss at Wintertide or something.”

“‘Or something,’” Star snorted, and Plover could see the air quotes, even with Star’s hand in theirs.

“Oh, hush up; it was a weird situation!” Plover laughed, lightly smacking their wing against Star’s as the two giggled. Then, after a moment, when the mood settled, Plover continued. “But I knew it wasn’t a dream, even if I didn’t know how. That’s how I knew you were down there when we fell and which path to take to rescue the others when I returned.

“I don’t know how I knew where you were, but you’re one special starling, Star. You have a lot more people in your corner than you know.”

Plover squeezed Star’s hand tight, smiling as they looked up, hoping to catch the same smile on Star’s face.

But they didn’t.

Instead, they looked up to see Star curling in on herself, biting her lip with something like shame filling her eyes.

“That’s what I’m worried about here–” she mumbled with a voice as small as she was. “I’m not going to be myself for a while. And you’re here for me, and that’s wonderful, but I’m something will happen. That I’ll cross a line and ruin this– ruin us.”

And Plover could’ve sworn because Starfinder was so good at carving out Plover’s heart and setting it on the table.

Those were the exact emotions stuck in Plover’s throat.

“Hey, listen to me,” Plover hissed, cutting off Star’s quickening breaths. “I’m not a prophet, so I can’t tell you that nothing will happen to us, but I promise you I’d say something if you’re coming up on one of my boundaries. I’d tell you.

“I’ll tell you when I need my space, and if you’re not sure, ask me. I don’t mind answering questions from you.” They breathed, refusing to let their voice stutter as they forced those stuck words out. “Can I ask you to do the same for me– to tell me if I’m crossing a line?”

Plover didn’t need to wait for Star’s reply as she squeezed their hand back. “Of course.”

“See?” Plover smiled softly before smirking. “And just like that, we’re doing better than ninety percent of our peers! ‘Those losers.”

Starfinder sputtered, trying and failing to suppress her laughter. “Plover!”

“What?! I think we should celebrate our superior support system. ‘Make it trendy to talk about your emotions. All the cool kids do it.”

“Plover, I adore you,” Star giggled as she gestured between them. “But we’re two of the lamest kids in this school.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that,” Plover laughed, shaking their head as they leaned closer, brushing their wing against Star again. They sighed, feeling the soft warmth from Star’s scales seeping into their cold wingtips. “Would you like me to stay the night? I don’t think either of us wants to sleep alone.”

And yet again, Plover felt Starfinder tense up.

“I don’t want you to go, but I can’t do cuddling. Not yet,” Star replied, hunching her wings around herself like a hug. “It’s just too close, but the bed’s too small for us not to cuddle, and–”

“Hey, breathe. It's okay; I’ll take the floor. I brought a sleeping bag.”

Starfinder blinked as Plover pulled out said sleeping bag from their bookbag, unstrapping it and letting it sprawl out onto the floor. She stared at it for a moment.

“You brought a sleeping bag to a party.”

“Yes, and my nighttime medications, plus Chinstrap, in case someone needed some hugs,” Plover continued, pulling out a jar of herbs, and a well-loved penguin plush, on loan to them from their dad, Manatee. They handed it over to Star to hold.

Starfinder, again, blinked.

(She still squeezed Chinstrap close to her chest, however.)

“You brought all those specific items along on a hunch that you’d need to bunk with someone overnight, who’d need hugs but couldn’t stand full physical contact,” Starfinder deadpanned, staring at a confused Plover.

Plover just blinked back.

Eventually, after much staring, both dragons broke down, giggling.

“Are we sure you’re not a prophet?” Starfinder wheezed out between laughs.

“Well,” Plover laughed, cocking her head to the side with a stupid grin. “I did theorize that your prophecy powers transferred over to me during our Wintertide kiss. So maybe we need to kiss again to transfer them back? You know– for science.”

“Ah, yes, for science.”

Plover couldn’t feel any magic power transferring, but Starfinder was soft, sweet, and still had the taste of the party’s chocolate deserts on her lips. Plus, as always, her sloped forehead rested perfectly against Plover.

They sighed, breathing in the cold & quiet moment, lit only by the flickering lantern on the table.

But despite the frightening chill of January, a brush of Star’s wings kept them as warm as needed.

“I love you,” Plover chimed, taking Starfinder’s claw for one last squeeze. “I can’t promise you we’ll make it through this year, but I promise you, we’ll give it everything we’ve goddamn got.”

Image size

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