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Author's note
Okay, the holidays are over, and this is late, but I'm more determined to get this done. So let's the madness resume!


We come back from commercial as we see the overhead of the crowd once more before going back to the booth.

Nick in Santa outfit booms, "Ho, ho, ho....and I want a bunch of damn hoes!"

Johnny chuckles as he spoke, "Welcome back to our show, folks, and to our conclusion to our celebrations."

"Or we could be doing this late, but Jus got so busy, but now he wanted to get it done!" Pinkie exclaims with a happy squee.

"Randomness aside, it's time for our Mane Event, which puts all the founders of Hearth's Warming Eve in a big fight to the death. Only one can come out to find another day...."

"If that's a way of doing things," Nick said with a light chuckle.

"Oh, oh, fellows; I got one more Hearth's Warming gift for you two!" Pinkie exclaims happily as she bounces up and down in the booth.

"No, Pinkie. I think we got enough gifts for one day."

"Come on, come on! You will love this one! Come on, pleeeeeease?!"

Johnny chuckles, "All right, all right, Pinkie. What is your gift?"

"And a gift from me too, to help out with the Celebrity Deathmatch Time Machine," Discord said with a smirk. "Please welcome, an old friend of yours, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin!"

The audience cheers as the announcers gasps, "Stone Cold"?"!

Sure enough, a familiar wrestler in his trademark wear appears, working the time machine, speaking, "Hey, Nick, Johnny! Glad to see you son of bitches again!"

"But I thought he retired...I mean, how the hell did we bought him back?!" Nick asked, excited yet puzzled to see Stone Cold after being unable to afford him.

"Well, Pinkie wanted me to surprise you fellows! And after the check clears up, I was bought here."

"Check? What did you pay him with?" Johnny asked Pinkie curiously.

"Cupcakes of course; He got a hanky for them!" Pinkie explains happily to Johnny.

"Ah. That explains it."

"Now then, I had programmed this thing to change the founders into familiar faces for this fight, ones you all are familiar with." Stone Cold explained as he got the time machine running. "And now, without further ado, fillies and gentlecolts, here they are, Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, Chancellor Puddinghead, Clover the Clever, Smart Cookie, and Private Pansy!"

Once it's done, the time machine door opens as six familiar figures came out...looking like the way the Mane Six looked when they played them in the play on Hearth's Warming Eve!

"My Gods, what is all this?!" Princess Platinum demanded in alarm and disbelief.

"Hey, get off me!" Commander Hurricane scowls as she pushes Clover off of him.

"Oh dear, this looks...uncomfortable." Private Pansy said in concern.

"Ooooh, ooooh; what's with the crowd," Puddinghead ask eagerly. "Is there a festival?!"

"Hey, come on!" Mills calls from the ring impatiently. "Get your asses in here!"

"While all the founders are ready to get it on, we should point out that the Pillars of Old Equestria is in the audience, watching these girls, if we can still call them that, fight to the death." Discord explains in the booth eagerly.

Starswirl, be shown in the audience, admit, "I'm not going to interfere in the match. I just want to see my old student Clover in action tonight. Plus, I DO kind of have a semi-friendly wager with my Pillars colleague Flash Magnus. I'm betting on Clover, of course, while Flash is wagering on his old commanding officer Hurricane. The loser has to do an extremely silly dance in front of the other Pillars, as well as the founders, the Princesses AND the Element Bearers. Of course, I acknowledge the possibility that BOTH of us could lose - in which case we BOTH would have to do that extremely silly dance."

In the ring, Johnny spoke out, "Happy Hearth's Warming, everyone, as we're ready to go with our Mane Event of the night; From Unicornia, the white princess of terror, Princess Platinum!"

"Greetings, everyone! Unicorns are superior!" Princess Platinum calls out, making her friend sighs in irritation.

"Also from Unicornia, the wisest apprentice of Starswirl....Clover the Clever!"

"Platinum, must you do that?" Clover asked Platinum with a sigh, regardless of the smirk.

"And the mightiest of Pegasi, Commander Hurricane," Johnny announces the next fighter.

"Unicorns, better? This Pegasus pony is gotta break your horn right off, bitch!" Commander Hurricane taunts the princess, making her growl a bit.

"Her young subordinate...Private Pansy!"

"Oh dear, is this going to be a fight?" Private Pansy ask meekly and scared. "I'm not sure if I'm up to it."

"Suck it up, soldier!" Commander Hurricane scoffs to Private Pansy, "Because I may have to kill you!"

"Wait, what?!"

"The silliest leader of the Earth Ponies, Chancellor Puddinghead," Johnny's voice announces the next to last fight.

"Hey, ponies! Hey, pony who looks like me for some reason!" Puddinghead announces happily as she waves to Pinkie in the booth whose happily waves back.

"Hey ya, pony who looks like me but isn't me because I'm the only Pinkie here!" Pinkie exclaims happily to Puddinghead.

Johnny finishes the announcement, "And her secretary, the remaining sanest bunch of the bunch, Smart Cookie!"

"Say, why are you called "Smart Cookie"?" Puddinghead ask her secretary suspiciously. "You don't look like a cookie, but are you smarter than me, hmmm?"

"Hoo boy, this is gonna be one of them fights," Smart Cookie comments with a groan while shaking her head.

Mills say, "I want a tough, clean fight. Unicorn magic, Pegasus weather stunts and Earth pony muscle are all acceptable of course as are any unorthodox tactics Puddinghead can come up with, but nothing bad enough to bring back the Windigos, all right? Well, let's get it on!"

The bell rings as the Mane Event finally begins.

"For Pegasopolis," Commander Hurricane shouted as she charged towards her opponents.

"Honestly. I don't see why we should go back to just brutality." Princess Platinum scoffed, but yelped as Commander Hurricane slashed through her mane, "MY MANE!"

"Ha! You were uglier without it!" Commander Hurricane sneered in amusement.

"Uh oh; one thing I know about women: you don't mess with their hair." Nick commented from the booth.

"Yeah, it happened with Rarity. Believe me." Discord remarked.

"Okay, are we doing this again?" Smart Cookie asked but yelped as Clover blasted her with magic. "Hey!"

"Well, sorry, this is a contest, and I'm sure we don't stay dead for long, I think." Clover explained as she fired blasts at Smart Cookie who moved to dodge them.

"Looks like the sane ones are fighting amongst themselves. And here comes Puddinghead to give the smackdown on Pansyass!" Johnny explained.

"Here name is just Pansy." Discord reminded Johnny.

"Why are we all fighting each other? Can't we all just get along?" Pansy asked timidly.

"Shut up and die, Pansyface!" Puddinghead shouted as she hit the Fluttershy lookalike.

"Ooh, I'm hitting Fluttershy hard." Pinkie remarked playfully. "And when I mean me, I mean the other me."

"Yeah, now Private Pansy is taking a beating." Nick commented as she moved and quickly kicked at Puddinghead, but missed. "And she doesn't seem to be quite a fighter."

"Not everyone can be Fluttershy, Nicky!"

"Commander Hurricane, help me!" Pansy cried.

"You're a fighter, Pansy! Do it yourself!" Commander Hurricane shouted.

"NO PONY MESSES WITH MY MANE!" Princess Platinum screamed as she made icicle spikes appear, sending them right at Hurricane.

The Pegasus screamed as she got hit in the side, knocking her down.

"Ouch! Looks like Hurricane just got bumped down a bit!" Pinkie announced playfully.

"Ooh, it really pains me to see a Fluttershy lookalike beat up like this." Discord remarked, "Just look at her run around in fear with Puddinghead chasing after her."

"Now I have you, Pansyface!" Puddinghead shouted as she had the fearfully whimpering Pansy trapped in a corner. "It's time for you to die, for the sake of Earth!"

"No! Keep away! Keep away from me!" Pansy cried in fear as Puddinghead glared deathly at her...... while grinning widely. She covered her face in trauma as she sobbed, "MOMMY!!!"

"Oh, no! Not that grin again!" Pinkie cried in fear, "Not the one from Smile HD!"

"You're going down!" Commander Hurricane screamed as she grabbed a spear and fired it at Princess Platinum who dodged it.

The spear was sent at Clover who saw it and yelped before she used her magic to send it bouncing....heading towards a new target.

And before Puddinghead could strike, the spear right through her forehead, making her yelp, "Hey, get this out!"

"Uh-oh; is she..." Discord said as Puddinghead angrily grabbed the spear to pull it out....causing both it and her own brain to come out. "Ouch; too dumb to live!"

Puddinghead gulped as she fell to the mat dead. Johnny commented, "And scratch one founder!"

"Thank Celestia!" Pinkie remarked, "There is no way I wanna see myself- or even someone looking like myself- do murder with a grin THAT CREEPY!"

"Ha! Some soldier you are, scared of being hurt and not fighting back, or even wanting to fight!" Hurricane remarked cruelly, "You're nothing but a total crybaby! In fact, the way I see it, you have better value dead than alive!"

"Ohh, he did NOT just say the five words of that karma Houdini bastard Mr. Potter!" Nick commented.

"I think he just did!" Johnny said.

Pansy trembled at hearing Hurricane's cruel words....and then growled angrily, "You....YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!!"

"Uh oh! Pansy is pissed!" Nick exclaimed as Pansy roared in rage, attacking her commander. "And isn't Hurricane a girl?"

"Fun fact: Commander Hurricane was actually a stallion in the past. Since Stone Cold's changes made the founders to look like us, he went through a sex change." Pinkie explained with her eyes arching.

"One good thing about Pansy here, she's beating Hurricane up like how Fluttershy beat up that demon version of Pinkie from Smile HD!" Discord commented.

"Clover is distracted and she didn't see Smart Cookie advancing." Nick said as Smart Cookie advanced...and knocked Clever down. "Well, she did now."

"Time I take care of two with one stroke." Princess Platinum said with a chuckle as she made some rocks appear with magic and grabbed the two advisers, trying to choke them. "Sorry, Clover, but it's every mare for herself!"

"Princess... how... could you?!" Clover choked, glaring at Princess Platinum.

"Like so!" Princess Platinum madly laughed as she choked on the two some more.

"And this shows that in some cases, blood is not thicker than water." Nick exclaims in determination. "And meanwhile, Commander Hurricane is fighting off the mad Pansy."

"But Pansy shows she isn't just a Pansyass!" Johnny exclaimed, impressed as Pansy was beating Hurricane who was having trouble fighting back. "I'm telling ya, I haven't seen a wimp take down a tough guy since Butters's appearance on the Dr. Oz Show!"

"HOW DARE YOU SAY I HAVE BETTER VALUE DEAD THAN ALIVE!!!" Pansy yelled as she kept hitting Hurricane, who was getting badly bruised, her face a bit swollen and her nose oozing with blood.

"Hey... take it easy, Pansy!" Hurricane said in shock and a bit of fear, "I didn't mean it! We're both best friends!"

"Friends don't make cruel remarks about each other when they're in trouble!" Pansy shouted, "You... YOU DOUCHEBAG," This got Hurricane completely speechless. Nopony yelled at her this way, let alone call her that name. Then Fluttershy's counterpart resumed beating Hurricane up.

"That's what we called tough love!" Pinkie exclaimed happily as Private Pansy pounded into her opponent some more.

"And speaking of tough love, both Smart Cookie and Clover are getting some of their own." Discord remarked as Princess Platinum continued choking their opponents.

"No worries about the flightless dopes, darlings," Princess Platinum said happily. "Once I'm done with you, they will be the last to go."

"Shoot. If you kill us now, you won't find out about Hurricane's little old secret." Smart Cookie said with a groan, getting the princess's attention.

"What? What secret?" Princess Platinum asked suspiciously to Smart Cookie, choking her some more. "Well?"

"Oh, that he done looked at you while you're taking a bath." Smart Cookie said with a smile.

"WHAT; THAT....THAT PERVER," Princess Platinum screams angrily as she dropped the weapon she was using.

"Is it true?" Clover asked.

"Oh, it's true, all right." Smart Cookie replied with a wink.

"Uh-oh; Now Princess Platinum has abandoned her goal and is boiling mad," Nick said as she charged at Hurricane.

"And I ain't lying. Puddinghead saw her do it and told me." Smart Cookie whispered to Clover with a nod.

"HURRICANE, WAIT TILL I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU, YOU PEEPING TOM!!!" Princess Platinum roared as she charged towards Hurricane who was getting beaten up.

"Oh crap!" Hurricane yelps as she (he?) saw Platinum coming with her spikes a-raising.'

"I shall avenge myself!" Platinum screams as she throws the spike.

The faux Rainbow moves out of the way, causing the spike to miss and stabbed right through Pansy, going right through her head and body.

"The attack missed and now Pansy paid the price!" Johnny announces as Private Pansy fell to the floor dead.

"Awww, she was doing good too!" Pinkie whines as Platinum proceeds in pounding Hurricane. "And now Platinum is on the assault."

"You dare to peek at me, you perv!" Plantium snapped furiously as she kicked Hurricane in the head. "I will teach you."

"Not my fault you got a good body." Hurricane remarked. This made the princess to stop her assault to give out a blush, "And a big fat ass!"


Suddenly Hurricane kicks Platinum with her back hooves hard, sending her into the turn buckle. The Pegasi smirks as she, despite still injured, flies over.

"Now Hurricane is on the receiving end and...." Johnny spoke as he observes the action. The Rainbow lookalike then spins around the mare quickly. "And is that...."

"Oh, the Blade Tornado," Discord exclaims with a smile, "One of the most forbidden moves of the Pegasus Tribe; And for a good reason."

When Hurricane stopped, Princess Platinim just stood there, before falling to pieces. Nick exclaims, "Damn! Platinum's fight has fallen to pieces."

"Ha! Sorry, "darling", but looks like this commander is..." Hurricane was cut off as she notices herself falling to pieces. "Oh buck. Now I remember why the move was forbidden."

"Now Hurricane is falling to pieces,” Nick announces as the Pegasus pony fell to pieces onto the floor. "Looks like that move did more than cut her opponent, it cut herself."

"Wow; that was unexpected." Smart Cookie said, blinking a bit.

"Yeah, well, that leaves only the two of us." Clover said in agreement. It's true, only herself and Smart Cookie are left. "But do we honestly have to do this?"

"What choice do we have, except let..."

Suddenly, Clover fires a blast through Smart Cookie's head, making the Earth pony cringes as she fell to the mat dead.

"Yeah, sorry, I got impatient. I felt like we have been doing this match since Christmas." Clover remarked dryly as the bell rings. This match is over.

Mills, coming over, held up a hoof, saying, "And the winner is, Clover the Clever!"

"Wow! This match is over, and the Clover the Clever succeeded in conquering every pony!" Pinkie exclaims as the audience cheers wildly.

"Well Nick, this has been some holiday event." Johnny smiled in seeing how things turned out.

"You can say that again Johnny, nothing bad could...GUUAGH!!" Nick was cut off when he was air-bombed by a strange projectile object out of nowhere.

"Nick! What happened?" Johnny asked in shock as he helped his friend up who was attacked out of nowhere.

"I don't know, I think I just got hit by...a fruit cake?" Nick ached before revealing the attack weapon was...just a normal fruitcake; with a heavy iron package deal.

"Oh goody, you received my special Christmas Surprise gift for all fans of Celebrity Deathmatch!" Discord smiled in seeing his delivery gift arrived.

"Ohhh, yummy," Pinkie Pie smiled to take a bit, surprising the guys in the booth; how can that pink pony eat a fruitcake nobody ever wants to eat even on the Christmas Holidays.

"A Fruitcake, really Discord; While it's clear to my opinion most folks hate it, how you gonna share this piece with the crowd?" Nick raised an eyebrow to ask this question.

"Ugh, Nick...I think you better look up." Johnny looked up to notice something Nick should pay attention towards.

Suddenly without warning, falling from above & bashing through the stadium structure, it was raining...FRUITCAKES!

"Aaaaaaauughhh," Nick screamed out loud in seeing a endless rain of Fruitcakes, it's like this has become the Apocalypse on Christmas Eve!

"Today's Weather, Fruitcakes the size of Mini-Vans/POW," Golden Freddy popped in to announce this as a weatherman until a large fruitcake the size of a mini-van crashed on him; popped out from cubes falling out. "Ugh, Fully Loaded Mini-Vans!" He stated this out from being in a daze, these things aren't just big, but fully loaded to boot.

Soon the mayhem spread so much that folks were panicking as the crowds began to leave for safety. After several minutes of that fruitcake onslaught, it was finally over.

"Everyone enjoyed it." Discord appeared near those hiding under the booth to smile if all enjoy that gift.

"What's with you Discord, are you CRAZY! You almost killed us!" Nick snapped off in seeing this guy tried to do them in with fruitcake.

"And it looks like our stadium's become Swiss cheese after that fiasco!" Johnny stated in seeing so many holes from ceiling to the ground floors; it's a mess.

"Oh, you didn't like that? Then I'll fix that." Discord pouted to say, before picking up a phone to call someone; then on a split-screen revealed another Discord in a bakery getup picking the other line up.

"Hello, you reach Discord Bake House, Discord speaking." Second Discord smiled to say in answering a customer caller.

"Yes, apparently some folks didn't find the raining fruitcakes all that good, do you have something else?" Discord stated to say in liking something else, the first batch didn't settle well for the rest.

"Of course, we have our Special Dessert Gift to sure to wow them!" Second Discord smiled off to say in having what they got to please anyone.

"Alright, I'll buy, please send it soon." Discord smiled to say in liking the item brought as fast as they can.

"No problem, we'll have it launch out a cannon to arrive at your destination in no time./POW!" Second Discord responded before his other selves loaded an object & fired it out a cannon.

"Alright, another small gift is on the way." Discord proudly said this after he hung up the phone & the side-screen closed afterwards.

"And just what is it this time, this...small gift?" Nick raised an eyebrow to question.

"Ugh, Nick?" Johnny pointed above in seeing a large shadow overlapping them.

"Hugh?" Nick looked up, only to see a Gingerbread House, problem was....IT WAS 500 Stories!! "A FIVE HUNDRED STORIES GINGERBREAD HOUSE ISN'T SMALL!" He screamed out in panic in seeing this next gift was anything BUT Small.

"Uh-oh; Abandon Wrestle Stadium," Pinkie Pie stated as they all packed up & ran for the hills....

"Foooovhm...Powfruvhmm..." Suddenly as the last folks exit out, the giant gingerbread house flatten the stadium to rumble, becoming the new built location of what was once the standing Celebrity Deathmatch stadium.

", there's some Fruitcake mix here & it's actually pretty good!" Pinkie Pie approached to take a bite, & she found parts of this to have fruitcake that tastes good; for a change.

"Discord, do you realize what you done? It took us three years to get the money to rebuild & rebroadcast after the last one your evil lookalike Chaotix did. Three Years down the toilet...THREE YEARS!" Nick was complaining that it took them so many long hard hours, days, weeks, months to almost 3 years to get back on the air & THIS had to happen of all the rotten luck.

"Oh dear, if you need cheering up, look...mistletoe!" Discord exclaimed to say in pointing above the two, & there it was...a mistletoe.

"Oh, looks like you walked right into that one Nick." Johnny stated in seeing where this was going.

"Pucker up, Sweetums!" Discord stated to put on a blonde's wig & put on a puffy red lips.

"Well folks, this has been one holiday bash we'll be talking about for years to come." Johnny stated this off to the viewers watching on how things turn out.

"And while on that, I'm hoping to NOT be the first man to be kissed by a Draconequus." Nick pointed off to say this as another matter to watch out for.

"Oh relax, it's the holiday spirit." Discord smiled to say while approaching a worried Nick.

"No Way! I rather be on a flight to the South Pole than kiss those lips!" Nick protest in where he rather be anywhere but here.

"Oh, a holiday trip, great thinking," Discord smiled in seeing how Nick was thinking, much to his worries.

"Awe, isn't that sweet? Hmmm..." Pinkie Pie smiled while eating more pieces of the large gingerbread house.

"Stay tune for the next event to leave you wanting more, I'm Johnny Gomez!" Johnny issued off to say this in giving a farewell speech.

"And I'm the soon to be experiencing the worse event since my wife left me out in the cold on Christmas Night, Nick Diamond! Yikes..." Nick was stating this last message out while dodging Discord's puffy lips.

"Yoo-hoo...." Discord waved off as Nick was seen running & screaming for the hills.

"And I’m the ever funny & laughable pink pony of laughter and jokes for your holiday moments, Pinkie Pie, saying to you all…” Pinkie Pie was last to pop in the middle of the screaming Nick & pursing Discord scene to give a final message out. “Good Fight…Good Night! And Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you! Oh, & Happy New Year,” She spoke off that final farewell sentence to help in closing the show.

Soon the screen backs away with the ‘Celebrity Deathmatch’ logo appearing on our TV screens. Signaling the end of the show now while we see the scenery shows many fans approaching to chow down on the 500 Gingerbread stories building & loving it. And we see Nick screaming off sight before a loud 'puck' sound was heard by Discord. And let’s just say this'll be one memory for the holidays no one will EVER forget...

The End

Cast list
im Thorton: Johnny Gomez
Chris Edgerly: Nick Diamond, Mills Lane, intern
Andrea Libman: Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Chancellor Puddinghead, Private Pansy
John de Lancie: Discord
PJ Heywood: Springtrap
Clancy Brown: Golden Freddy/Nightmare Fredbear
Daveigh Chase: Nyx
Tabitha St. Germain: Baby Flurry Heart, Princess Platinum
Tara Strong: Clover the Clever, Twilight Sparkle
Ashleigh Ball: Commander Hurricane, Smart Cookie

Guest appearances
Daisy Ridley: Rey
Ryann Shannon: Baby Tattletail
Geneva Hodgson: Mama Tattletail
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Himself
Britt McKillip: Princess Cadance
Chris Britton: Star Swirl the Bearded

Author's note
And after all this, this late Christmas fic is finally done! Sorry for the long wait, but it's worth it! Read and review.
(Sorry for the delay, but I'm finally finishing this up) It's time for the Mane Event of this holiday mashup! The founders of Hearth's Warming Eve goes at it to see who is the best!
Add a Comment:
Greenrob Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018
Well done with this chapter and battle, and now this story is complete, i look forward to the next one.
DisneyEquestrian2012 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL, poor Nick Diamond.

Anyway, glad to see Austin back in the show! Can't wait for the next Ponies on CDM (in the future)!
Jose-Ramiro Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Excellent battling.
VISION-KING Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018
Quite a show.

And quite a 'good' laugh event in the end to seal the deal. Bet everyone's laughing it up.

Tell then, glad to see this got posted. I found it funny (especially at the end), until the next Ponies Of Celebrity Deathmatch...
Julayla64 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And now you finished after the delay happened.
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January 21, 2018


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