Muppet Arabian Nights chapter 1

Author's note
Hey folks, JusSonic here now working on the Muppets version of the Disney Aladdin first film of the trilogy. BTW, whoever was trying to impersonate me to badmouth KingHuffman, nice try but it didn't work. That stupid review has just been erased.

All right, time to begin!

Chapter 1: Muppet Story Begins

JusSonic and the Muppets presents

Muppet Arabian Nights

As our story begins, we see two figures riding on a camel heading somewhere in a desert. One of them is a balding old man with some gray hair on the sides and eyebrows and a crooked nose wearing a black suit. His name is Statler.

The other old man had white hair with a white mustache, wearing a brown suit. His name is Waldorf.

As the two rides on, Statler is singing.

Statler: Oh I come from a land
From a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear
If they don't like your face
It's barbaric, but hey--it's home!
When the wind's at your back
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down,
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Muppet Arabian night!

The two men and their camel arrive in the Muppet Arabian City of Muppetgrabah, a land of mystery, danger and other stuff. Statler kept on singing as they pass by folks and stuff.

Muppet Arabian nights
Like Muppet Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways

Muppet Arabian nights
'Neath Muppet Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes

As the camel came to a stop, it was out of breath before collapsing. The two old men got off as they dust the sand off themselves. Waldorf remarks dryly, "Statler, your singing ended up killing the camel!"

"No, the camel was already dead by the time we got it! Ha ha ha," Statler laughs a bit cruelly.

"Honestly, either we need another opinion or a better singing voice."

"Shows what..." Statler then saw someone (namely) us and spoke up. "Oh yes, hello my good friends! Please, come closer."

Suddenly the camera zooms in and hits Statler right in the face, making him yelp. Waldorf remarks, "Well, you wanted closer, you got closer."

"Except this is too much closer for comfort! Back up, back up, you dope!" Statler groans in alarm before whoever it is pulls out, "Ahem, very good. Okay, welcome to Muppetgrabah, city of mystery...enchantment..."

"As well as the best junk we can find this side of the Pacific!" Waldorf exclaims as he pulls a cord from a box. Soon a selling stand appears with souvenirs that the two hecklers stand behind. "Come on down and take a look."

"Or don't. Not like we care. Ho ho ho," Statler laughs as he takes out a device, "All right, check out this new product which is a combination of a hook and a coffee maker; also good at making Julienne fries."

Statler demonstrates how the device works to the viewer, then he taps it on the stand's side while saying, "Yes, it will not break, it..." Suddenly the old man taps the device too hard, causing it to break in his hands.

"And it broke, you old fool. Let me!" Waldorf snaps as he pushes Statler aside as he took out some Tupperware. "Oh yes, never saw one of these things intact before. It's the famous Muppetia Tupperware, listen!" The old man opens one Tupperware, making a raspberry, "Ha ha; still good yet stinky!"

The two old men saw the customer leaving, much to their alarm. They don't wanna lose a good customer! Quickly, Statler stops whoever is leaving while saying, "Wait, do not go!" The customer stops as the old man continues, "I can see that you're looking for something very rare."

"What rare? There's nothing at our stand that's..."

"Waldorf, you know...that rare item we know."

"Oh, I get it! What you wanted is...this!" Waldorf exclaims as he goes over to Statler and took out what appears to be a gold lamp.

Statler smiles while saying, "Don't judging this on appearance though. You gotta remember that it isn't on the outside that counts, but what's the inside."

"Unfortunately for you, Statler, you don't count." Waldorf jokes a bit making Statler glares at him for the remark. The customer was abotu to leave but stop by the old men once more; "Wait, this is no joke or heckle; this isn't any original lamp!"

"Yes, this lamp once changed the life of a very important individual who, like the lamp, is more than what he is seem." Statler explains with a nod as he whispers, "The Diamond in the Rough."

The customer stops as if in interest. The Diamond in the Rough; this sounds interesting.

"Oh, you wanna hear the tale? Luckily for once, we tell the stories here instead of some fool comedian bear or some fool actor." Waldorf chuckles a bit as Statler took some sand from the ground. A story is about to begin here. "Take it away, Statler."

"Yes, it all begins on a dark night." Statler said while throwing the sand into the sky which appears to form stars in the sky to begin the story. "Where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose..."

---------------

As our story begin, we go out into the desert as someone is waiting for a person on a horse. He is a man with wild, long blond hair, and some make up on his face. He was wearing a loose white shirt, a ragged black cloak, black boots, and trousers. He also had a sickle-shaped pendant around his neck and was carrying a riding crop. His name is Jareth, king of the Goblins.

Sitting with Jareth is a brown/orange king prawn with red hair and a tooth on the side of his mouth. He was wearing a green shirt and a blue jacket. His name is Pepe the King Prawn, not a shrimp.

The two came to the desert looking for a legendary cave with something that Jareth needs in order to gain power, but they need the other half of what they themselves need to gain access. And it looks like luck is about to dawn on them as another figure on a horse appear, riding up to the two.

As the figure got off his horse to look at Jareth, the Goblin King narrows his eyes while snapping, "You...are late, Black Dog!"

"Sorry about that, Jareth." Black Dog grunts a bit. "I was having trouble finding you and..."

"Save me your excuses, Black Dog. Do you have it?"

"Hey, I have to beat up a lot of people, maybe kill them but I got it." Black Dog remarks as he took out what appears to be half of a Dark Crystal. Jareth prepares to take it but the dog held it back while smirking. "Hold it! Don't forget, you promised me the treasure so where is it?"

Suddenly Pepe rushes over and kicks the crystal half out of Black Dog's paws, causing him to yelp in pain at this. The King Prawn grabs the item and got back onto Jareth's horse before giving the crystal part to Jareth.

"Relax, my doggy friend." Jareth chuckles as he pulls out the other half of the Dark Crystal half. "You will get what's coming to you soon enough."

"Coming to you, okay; ha ha ha," Pepe remarks as if repeating what Jareth is saying like some sort of parrot.

As Pepe and Black Dog watch, Jareth put both halfs of the Dark Crystal together. Suddenly it begins to glow and rise out of the Goblin King's hands. The three villains gasp as it flies around them then heads out into the desert.

"Quickly, we must follow the trail!" Jareth exclaims eagerly. Black Dog got back onto his horse as he, the Goblin King and Pepe quickly chases after the flying Dark Crystal on horseback, chasing fast thing across the desert. "Faster, blast you!"

Soon the Dark Crystal stops at a huge dune and become halves once more, digging right into the sand. Two glowing lights appear in the sand itself before the dune begins to rise up. The horses can only stop upon arrival as Jareth, Pepe and Black Dog saw what appears to be a giant head of a dragon that opens it mouth as if inviting anyone to enter the cave.

"Yes, after all these years, we found it: the Cave of the Sith!" Jareth exclaims in amazement. He has looked all over for this cave and now...the Goblin King has found it.

"Cave of the Sith, okay." Pepe said, repeating what Jareth just told him with a nod.

"Whoa! That dragon mouth looks big!" Black Dog exclaims, his eyes widen in amazement. "It's no wonder that you wanted to find this place in the first place, Jareth."

"Now listen carefully, bring me the lamp. You can have the rest of the treasure but the lamp is mine." Jareth said to Black Dog sternly. The crook nods as he greedily heads over to the cave. If he has to get one lamp for the treasure, then it's well worth it.

"Lamp, okay! The lamp," Pepe repeats what Jareth just said once more. He then waited until Black Dog is out of earshot, then frowns before whispering to his boss clearly, "Ay ay ay! Where did you find this mutt, okay? I would've done better."

Jareth shush Pepe, silencing him. The prawn isn't supposed to let anyone knows that he can speak clearly like a human being. Pepe can only do so when alone with the Goblin King and when no one is in earshot. Right now though, Jareth doesn't want to hear his remarks.

Jareth and Pepe watch as Black Dog reach the entrance, seeing some stairs heading downward into the Cave of the Sith. The villain was about to enter when a huge roar came from out of the nowhere, pushing the dog back onto the sand. Black Dog recovers and gasps upon seeing a horrifying sight: the dragon mouth is talking!

"Who dares disturbs my slumber?" The cave demands sternly to the Black Dog.

Black Dog gulps as he bows while saying, "Only I, Black Dog, a humble thief! Sorry if I woke you up but I need to get into your mouth to get some treasure and..."

"Know this...there can only be one who can be permitted here. One whose worth lies far within: A Diamond in the Rough!"

Jareth and Pepe looks at each other as the last words echoes throughout the desert. They weren't aware that someone has to be worthy in order to go into the Cave of the Sith. Black Dog nervously glances at Jareth, wanting some help of course.

"Come on, do not delay!" Jareth snaps impatiently as he motions Black Dog to go into the cave. "Get going!"

Black Dog looks worried, wondering what would happen if he tries to enter the cave but then goes to the entrance and move one foot inside the place. The dog thief reach the steps that goes down further then close his eyes as he put a lower paw on one step while waiting...

Nothing happen. Black Dog sighs in relief. Perhaps he is worthy after all. The thief prepares to head downward with treasure and the lamp waiting for him at the moment.

Suddenly the cave roars once more causing Black Dog to scream as he tries to run away. But it's too late as the entrance closes with him still inside.

"No!" Jareth screams as he hold out a hand to block the sand that is being send everywhere like mad. The dune is falling back to normal, the impact ends up knocking both the Goblin King and Pepe right off their horse.

"Seek thee out, the Diamond in the Rough." The cave booms as it goes back into the sand from where it came from. The two Dark Crystal halves fell out, rolling right to Jareth and Pepe, who pops out of the sand while spitting some of the stuff.

"II cannot believe it...I just don't believe it! We're never gonna get our hands on that stupid Lamp!" Pepe groans as he heads off and pick up the crystal halves in frustration. "Just forget it. And I don't even care if you had it before. Look at this. Look at this, I'm so ticked off that my shell is falling apart."

Pepe proves it as he pulls off part of his shell that fell off him. The prawn goes back to Jareth to return the parts to him. The Goblin King sighs, "Patience, Pepe. Patience...That simple-minded fool was obviously less than worthy."

"Oh right, very nice surprise, okay! Oh, ha ha ha! I think I will die laughing from not being surprised, okay! Oh, what are we going to do? We're in big trouble here with one big prob..."

Jareth however grabs Pepe's mouth, shutting up to allow the villain some thinking. He nods while saying, "Yes, of course. Only one may enter this cave. Pepe, I must find this one...this Diamond in the Rough."

Author's note
What a start, eh? In the next chapter, we meet Kermit and his friends as they run away from Sweetums and the guards. What kind of life will they lead? Read, review and suggest.

Black Dog is one of the pirates from Muppet Treasure Island.

The Dark Crystal is a reference to the film with the same name.

The Cave of the Sith is a reference to a cave like it in the fifth episode of the Star Wars series with Yoda, a kinda Muppet.