I had hoped to write a journal thanking everyone for the birthday wishes, but alas, instead I'm writing this...
In light of recent events, I feel I should elaborate on my stance on them and fill you in on more details.
Many of you already know this, but here's a bit of backstory:
I've recently turned 25. I've started drawing more seriously when I was 12 (when I finally got the internet connection and learned about fanart, so I got inspired by many cool artists and tried to do my best. That's also when I started getting into things like fandom, etc. And strongly got into Sonic). At the end of 2008, a friend told me that I was good at art (well, at that time and my level of skill, of course), they liked it and said that it would be nice if I've started sharing it with others. That was when I first created my first dA account, Juricha-the-geek, but I was too afraid to communicate (and my English wasn't good, as I'm not a native speaker), so I didn't start to use it until 2010. And I was so overwhelmed at actually getting POSITIVE feedback both on my art and my English, and I've made some of the best Internet friends you can ever hope for.
You are: (I hope that I didn't forget anyone and also I'm only listing the people whom I ORIGINALLY met on dA).I still remember that fuzzy feeling of meeting the people I listed and many others as well.
I made my best to grow over the years - both as an artist and as a decent human being. I've lived through many hard times and have changed a lot. Yes, there were some misunderstandings and break-ups. But we either resolved them or made peace and moved on. My art style and tastes have changed over time as well. Many people have dropped in and out of my life. But there was one single constant: deviantArt. It was always there, there were always people whom I could turn to for support and with whom to share my art and blabber about the games and anime and life things. Sure, I might not received a lot of constructive feedback. But I had fun at least. I think you all know what I'm talking about here.
But in the last couple years, I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by both my life and the massive amount of art and the realization that I will never be able to make myself noticed and the changes in deviantArt as well... It burned me out a lot, and people still understood me (even when I delayed my works by a massive amount of time). But it was still nice.
But not anymore, as evident by this recent situation where I kept getting harassed and called out on stuff I did not do, people sending witch-hunts me, and when I tried to defend myself, I've only got more shit in return, and also when I've tried to resolve things more amiably (all I asked for was for them to delete all their hateful posts about me (they literally wrote a post titled 'I trusted you, but not anymore') and write a post debunking their own lies, they just... kept repeating the same lines over and over and over again and tried to make themselves THE VICTIMS). Just read the comments there:
Alert! Do NOT Enter This Group!EDIT: BlueHedgehog1997 kindly provided me with a screenshot of my comment which he coincidentally took. It was the second one I posted. The first got hidden too.
EDIT 2: Added another group of his. Do NOT follow that either. Just... read the journals there, they seem to be actually proud to be hated on... :iconDontSaveArchieSonic:
EDIT 3: I was sold out by :iconProjectFire978: to :iconcapcomfighter87: and I was told that I was lying, of all things! On my own profile, and even hunting me down on other people's profiles!
Warning: swearing inside. Sorry, but I'm so pissed off right now!
So, four days ago, I got invited to a group :iconSega-Fan-Club: (catch-it-all for all of the Sega properties, including Atlus). I accepted, of course. But when I tried to submit my art, 90% of it got declined for no visible reason, because I was sure that I didn't break any rules. I asked why did they decline my artworks. They hid my comment. Flabbergaste
Both me and some other people have submitted tickets reporting them (before the last two links happened), to no avail. I'm a very peaceful person by nature, and in my entire time on here I have never been subjected to such humiliation. I think all of the people who know me for more than a year know this. You know me, you know the stuff I've been through in my life, and you also know what kind of person I am. And also how hard I work on things that I've set my mind to. And that I would never wish harm on somebody, but in this case... I sure hope that karma gets back to them. To all of those blind fanatics who harass people over different opinions. And remember, you sick freaks (I know that you're most likely stalking me again) - YOU haven't won. YOU DIDN'T make me leave. I'm leaving because of dA itself.
And the deviantArt Eclipse:
DO YOU KNOW THAT ECLIPSE SOON WILL BECOME PERMANENT? AND THAT THERE'S NO STASH ON ECLIPSE? Just read the comments here: Eclipse Change Log: March 27, 2019
...and it honestly has broken me. My creative spark is gone. I don't know where to go or whom to turn to.
The things I've learned out of this are: 1) they do not moderate the groups whatsoever, so you can basically get away with everything; 2) my case wasn't enough for them to act upon it; 3) THEY DON' T ACCEPT SCREENSHOTS AS EVIDENCE. Do you feel the level of bullshit on here?
I've also used Tumblr for about 5 years, but their current policy is the exact (and very extreme) opposite of dA - they now censor EVERYTHING. It's absurd. I've had a photo of my then-recent buy - a Persona 5 disc box laying on the drawer with a controller on top of it, and literally nothing else - got flagged as 'sensitive content'. Or a picture drawn in pastel colors gets flagged as well. What the actual fuck? I still don't know. And it's so full of... mentally ill/unstable people and is so toxic with agendas and politics that I do not really want to participate there at all. And they still haven't done anything about their porn bot problem as far as I know.
DeviantArt, in the meanwhile, does nothing about the sick fetishes and child exploitation 'art' - when I checked the 'Newest' page for a Valentine badge, I came across some photos of a clearly underage girl with makeup on a bed trying on high heels. There was a few of them, too. I was so grossed out that I just clicked away from the 'Newest' page, because I don't even WANT to click on them and I don't know how to report this stuff or if the staff will act on it.
The problem here is that neither Tumblr nor dA's ways are correct when it comes to dealing with such delicate topics. I'm absolutely against any kind of censorship in media, and I feel that even fetishes and things like smut and hentai have their place in a site's ecosystem - they just need their own filter or a dark corner of a site. However, there are varying degrees of appropriateness for everyone, and it would be pretty hard to implement, seeing as art is a very subjective matter. What IS objective, however, is that there is a big difference between artistic aesthetic nudity/a classic piece of art and a gross poorly-drawn diaper fetish or something similar. And I think that, therefore, the content must be subjected to a user-controlled filter system with proper tags with a chance to vote for them. The sad thing here is that it can be very well used for witch hunts and alienating people...
However, I'm hesitant to leave dA and Tumblr. For three (okay, four) reasons: 1) My friends; 2) I still want to draw and give my art exposure 3) Good artists on those sites that aren't anywhere else and 4) Active (and sane) fandoms. I don't want to burn down ALL of my bridges this quickly.
What are my options?
Making a new dA account won't help the Eclipse. But it will help with keeping in touch with people on here and track artists that I like. However, it still won't be the same...
(same goes for Tumblr, but it's more versatile, with tag-blocking extensions and whatnot)
The other options are Instagram, Twitter and perhaps Blogspot or a similar site. There are also PaperDemon and PaigeeWorld, but they are basically dead (at least it seemed so to me).
What my course of actions would be?
I'm stepping away from this site. I'm not deactivating for now. But I AM going away as soon as I send everyone who cares my other contacts. An indefinite hiatus. A hibernation, if you prefer it this way. I just can't keep up with all of this anymore, it has given me new bout of depression and anxiety to just be on here. Ironic that one of culprits claimed that I GAVE IT TO THEM.
What is the future of my art and ongoing projects?
Any and all of my projects are CANCELLED. However, I'll send out the sketches to their respective owners. I think it's for the best for both sides.
I want to step back a little and just try and re-discover my passion for art and turn over a new leaf. I'd also like to draw MONEY commissions and maybe try and sell my own adopts/OCs designs. But what I want the most is to try and dive into the gaming territory - writing reviews, streaming playthroughs, getting into pixel art and even try and make something in the RPG Maker. All of this does sound a bit overwhelming, so I'll just take it in bit by bit and try to figure out my options. And of course I'm still studying languages, so there is also that. And handcrafts and collecting. So... yeah, a lot of things to do.
In the end... I say that it's really so sad to see your beloved site go downhill, and I'm sure it leaves many people with a feeling of uncertainty. I think the best that we can do as artists is to move somewhere else. dA is an empty shell, with its' points, broken Core and llama systems (the only honest and actually profitable bot was dAhub, but dA staff took it down) - I've seen people begging for points in EXCHANGE FOR LLAMAS. Llamas, where they are only two clicks away and are absolutely free to give! That's outrageous. The staff doesn't want to hear us. They only hear the cha-ching of money, and I do understand that it's just the business for them, but if you want to run a successful business - you must act accordingly towards the clients, the people who literally bring you money. I think that's the best course of action is for us to just stop bringing them money. But that's just me. I'm going to step away and watch. For now.
On one hand, I'm very sad to leave you all, but on the other - I can breathe easy now. Are you with me or against me? I know those who will be sad, and I'm sure that there are ones who will be overjoyed. But there's that - my 10-year history with this site is coming to a close, or at least to a big pause. If you want me to send you my contacts - leave a comment here (and it would be nice if you tell me why you have started following me in the first place and why you would want to keep in touch with me). And I must admit, it is pretty painful to let go such a long history, deleting all the journals, putting art in storage... But I must do this and move on.
This is my last journal on this account. Fare thee well, my friends and I'll see you on another site! Juricha signs out!