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Literature
Titans: There's Just More Of Him To Love
“Ah, geez,” Roy Harper muttered to himself. “Come on shirt, don’t be like that.  You’ve always been the reliable one in our relationship.”
Roy had been stuck with a cast on his leg for more than a few weeks, after getting injured trying to fight off Deathstroke the Terminator by himself.
Stupid.
Brave, but stupid.
Of course Roy managed to get more than a few hits on the supposed master assassin, so that was something to be proud of. And with him semi out of commission, that meant more time to spend with Lian without shunting her off on nannies and babysitters.
But it also meant he’d been stuck on monitor duty while everyone else was running around saving the world.
He tried to keep active, of course. He still had one good leg and his arms were fine, which meant target and archery practices were okay. And of course he got to play with Lian and Garth’s kid Cerdian. But that wasn’t as much exertion as Roy was used to, which meant,
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Mature content
Titans: Cakes and Confessions :iconjudedeluca:JudeDeluca 2 2
Literature
Titans: Of Nightmares and Mooks
“I cannot believe you talked me into this.” Damian Wayne muttered as he followed Dick Grayson down the sidewalk to their destination.
“Oh stop being so serious, tonight will be fun!” Dick tried to assure his surrogate little brother.
“Fun?” Damian scoffed. “You call dressing up like a bunch of jackasses and begging people to increase our likelihood of contracting diabetes fun?”
“Yeah, fun!” Dick responded with enough enthusiasm to ignore Damian’s sarcasm.
Fun. Ugh. Just thinking of the word made Damian cringe.
“Father wouldn’t allow this.” Damian huffed.
“You’re right, and that’s what makes it fun.” Dick reasoned.
“So if he told you not to jump off the Gotham Bridge, you’d consider that ‘Fun?’”
“Oh look we’re here!” Dick hurried up the driveway to Roy Harper’s new home in Arizona.
“I still don’t understand what thi
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Mature content
i don't know what i'm doing :iconjudedeluca:JudeDeluca 0 0
Literature
The Not So Itsy Bitsy Spider
The itsy bitsy spider
spun a pretty web.
The itsy bitsy spider
lived above her bed.
The teeny tiny baby
lay inside her crib.
The teeny tiny baby
drooled onto her bib.
The baby saw the spider
high above her head.
The baby saw the spider
this is what she said.
"Why do you have so many eyes?"
"So I can watch you as you sleep."
"Why do you have so many legs?"
"So I can run and jump and leap."
"Why do you have such scary teeth?"
"To eat the things that crawl and creep."
"Why do you look at me that way?"
The spider didn't make a peep.
The baby's loving momma
came in to say good night.
The baby's loving momma
was in for a big fright.
The baby's loving momma
thought it was a bad dream.
The baby's loving momma
opened her mouth and screamed.
The not so itsy bitsy spider
crawled out of the baby's bed.
For the not so itsy bitsy spider
had eaten the baby's head.
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Literature
there is a man who smiles at me
there is a man who smiles at me
he lives inside my room
i don't know where he came from
i don't know what he wants
but every night he smiles at me
and i have never been so scared
he sits there every night in a chair in my room
i am afraid to touch the chair
because i don't know what he'll do
if he doesn't have a chair to sit in
i don't know what he'll do if he stand up
i don't know what he wears
but i see how tall he is
and if he ever stood up i am sure he would be gigantic
his hair is like straw
it is wild
it is messy
but it doesn't hide his face
i don't know what color his skin iis
but his eyes are black
his eyes are so black
i don't even know if he has eyes
or if the holes in his head are empty
but the worst thing is his smile
i always see it clearly
such a horrible smile
his cheeks stretched so tight
so tight they seem bigger than his face
how can he have so much skin
how can his face be pulled back so tight
doesn't it hurt
or does it he enjoy it
is that why he smiles
and his teeth
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Literature
I Am A Ghost
I am a ghost, and I haunt this house.
I sit in this chair, in this house I hate, full of people I hate, but I am someone who does not exist in the real world.
I write these self-absorbed masochistic words on my despair and depression as part of my ongoing attempt to suck my own dick.
I am a blight on this world.
I am a ghost because nothing I do matters, nothing I do is for the betterment of those around me, nothing I do has a happy conclusion.
Every moment I exist in this state I radiate with negativity and hatred for myself and what I am and what has been done to me.
I am a ghost because I exist to make everyone around me as miserable as I am. I do not exist to do better, but to worsen. I disrupt the lives of those around me and leave them looking back on those moments they can never reclaim and wonder “Why me?”
“What did I do to deserve being haunted like this?”
I haunt this house, moving from room to room, making a mess and slamming doors, screaming, crying,
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Literature
The Batman of Arizona
Batman Incorporated HQ
“Wingman, good, you’re here.” Batman, the Dark Knight of Gotham City, didn’t even need to turn around as he realized his former sidekick Jason Todd, the second Robin, the second Red Hood, and now the second Wingman, had entered the room.
“You can just call me Jason when we’re not in the field, you know.” Jason spoke as he removed his helmet, revealing his black hair with a white fringe that, you know, I’m not sure if it was because of the Lazarus Pit or the shock of coming back from the dead.
“I wanted to introduce you to our latest recruit, Wingman.” Batman passive aggressively voiced his displeasure at Jason referring to him by his first name. “He’s going to be patrolling Arizona for us.”
“’Hi, Jason. How’ve you been since I decided to forgive you for trying to kill my favorite kid and my only biological kid?’” Jason sardonically replied. “Oh I
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Literature
The Christmas Camp Out - A Roy/Lian Tale
“-but when she turned around, she saw the maniac in the Santa suit standing in the doorway, just as he locked the door behind him with the kids still in the house!”
“*Gasp!* Did he kill the kids?”
“Nah. The neighbors saw what was happening and called the police.”
“Oh thank goodness.”
Christmas Eve, 20XX ~ Arizona Desert
Roy Harper and his daughter Lian were on a Christmas camping trip. It’d been an unbelievably upsetting and frustrating year for the two, where nearly everything that COULD have gone wrong DID go wrong.
And then it got worse.
But then thankfully, things got better.
Roy decided he wanted to spend part of Christmas just the two of them, so they’d decided to go camping. Lian was, naturally, worried about Santa Claus losing track of them if they weren’t at home, but Roy promised her Santa would find them.
Camping isn’t normally a thing people do for Christmas, but the Harpers adapted. They brought with t
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Mature content
Minako Plans Ahead - A Rei/Minako Folly :iconjudedeluca:JudeDeluca 1 1
Literature
A Great Christmas
Nora was spending Christmas with her grandma this year, because her parents were called away overseas on business and her older brother was in college. As it was, Nora’s grandfather had died the previous year from complications related to cancer, and all of their other relatives were off having Christmas celebrations of their own. So because it was going to be just the two of them, Nora’s grandma suggested they celebrate Christmas early and invited some of Nora’s friends for a sleepover a couple of days before the 25th. That way Nora could have fun with her friends before they went on trips with their families, and so the two of them wouldn’t feel so alone on the holiday. It was going to be a great Christmas.
Except for one thing.
Something was wrong with the lock to the back door. The key turned in the lock, but for some reason the door could be forced open even if the knob couldn’t be turned. It didn’t bother Nora as much when her parents were ther
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Literature
What's In The Box? A Christmas Horror Story
Jamie was afraid at first when Ms. Cameron started living with his family. Ms. Cameron had been hired as his nanny since his parents were now working full time again, and they needed someone to watch Jamie when he came home from school. Jamie had never even needed a babysitter before in his life, so here was this strange lady he didn’t know, watching over him and preparing dinner for him while his mom and dad were out. It wasn’t something he was prepared for. None of his friends had nannies, so he couldn’t talk to them about it. His parents assured him Ms. Cameron was a very nice lady and she had lots of glowing recommendations from previous families.
It’s not that he thought Ms. Cameron was a bad person. Jamie just wasn’t sure what to think of her. But slowly, Jamie began to get used to Ms. Cameron, maybe he even liked her a little bit. She didn’t have weird tricks for doing math problems or sing songs while cleaning Jamie’s room, but she was
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Literature
Sailor Moon - Smart Shopper Rei-chan
“Christmastime is coming, the old men are getting fat. Please put a penny inside a goose’s hat.”
“Minako, you’ve got that rhyme mixed up.”
“I thought it was weird that a goose would wear a hat but who am I to judge?” Minako shrugged.
“Why would a goose wear a hat?” Rei asked in a huff.
“Well, that wouldn’t be the strangest thing we’ve seen in our lives, right?” Makoto chimed in, sensing Minako was beginning to (no pun intended) egg Rei’s temper.
“Besides, why can’t a goose get to wear a hat?” Minako stopped and dramatically shot her fist into the air. “Geese are people too!”
“You’re just doing this to me on purpose, aren’t you?” Rei somehow managed to be both deadpan and growl at the same time.
“S-so how’s everyone’s Christmas shopping going?” Makoto nervously laughed, holding up some shopping bags filled with baking ing
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Literature
HP: When You Mess With Reptiles
The two girls were lounging in an empty classroom, the door wide open. Both of them third years, the pale girl with the long and straight snow white hair was reading a Muggle magazine called “Entertainment Weekly” while the dark skinned girl with wavy, jet black hair scribbled away on a large blank pad.
“Oh I forgot to tell you, I got my Muggle Studies essay back today.” The white haired-girl, Nicole, pulled some roles of parchment.
“Oh yeah?” Gold, the black-haired girl, stopped sketching and looked towards her friend.
“Professor Burbage thinks I’m showing improvement.” Nicole handed the parchment over while she flipped a page in the magazine. “She especially liked the paragraph about why Muggles could make pictures on television sets move but not in actual photographs. I’m gonna write to Mum about it.”
“What do you think she’ll say?” Gold asked, scanning over the essay.
“That she has no da
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Literature
Ugly Contest
“Now smile!”
FLASH
The four male Robins, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne had finished posing for their annual Christmas photo at Wayne Manor. All four of them were dressed in ungodly horrific and tacky holiday sweaters.
“I don’t know why I agreed to this.” Jason, wearing a fuzzy red and green sweater decorated in puffy yellow stars, rubbed the bridge between his eyes.
“Yes,” Damian, inside a white sweater with a rhinestone designed mock up of Frosty the Snowman, snarked. “Don’t you have a meth lab to blow up or something, Todd?”
“Now come on guys,” Dick tried to play peacekeeper, it’s Christmas.” He was wearing the most horrible sweater of all. It looked like a facsimile of a Christmas tree with actual ornaments and bells sewn into the fabric. He jingled as he moves. There were even working lights. “And we all agreed-“
“Just promise me the Titans are never going t
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Literature
How Momma Ruined Christmas
December 24th - The Night Before Christmas
Baby Wildebeest was so proud of himself. He'd been working on this plan for days, and he was sure it was foolproof. He'd set up the ropes and wires, the milk and cookies, his hiding spot under the tree, everything. All he had to do was wait for just a little while, and then he'd have Santa Claus and everybody would know Santa was for real.
Now to just wait, and...
"My leg!"
Wow! That was fast!
Baby rushed up out of his spot to greet the jolly old man.
"Santa!"
Only it was-
"Mama?!"
Yes. Suspended in mid-air from a bunch of ropes and wires was Baby's beloved Mama, Pantha. She looked like a tangled up puppet... or someone out of an early 90s comic book.
"I'm pretty sure my leg isn't supposed to bend this way." Pantha complained.
"Mama!" Baby burst into tears. "You ruined my trap for Santa! How could you?!"
"Yes. Yes that is exactly what is wrong with this scenario." Pantha deadpanned, her upside down scowl looking like a smile. "That I ruined yo
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Activity


“Ah, geez,” Roy Harper muttered to himself. “Come on shirt, don’t be like that.  You’ve always been the reliable one in our relationship.”

Roy had been stuck with a cast on his leg for more than a few weeks, after getting injured trying to fight off Deathstroke the Terminator by himself.

Stupid.

Brave, but stupid.

Of course Roy managed to get more than a few hits on the supposed master assassin, so that was something to be proud of. And with him semi out of commission, that meant more time to spend with Lian without shunting her off on nannies and babysitters.

But it also meant he’d been stuck on monitor duty while everyone else was running around saving the world.

He tried to keep active, of course. He still had one good leg and his arms were fine, which meant target and archery practices were okay. And of course he got to play with Lian and Garth’s kid Cerdian. But that wasn’t as much exertion as Roy was used to, which meant, once the cast came off…

“Ugh. Roy Harper, you’re fat.”

The scruffy, green eyed redhead was standing in his room at Titans Tower and had been struggling to get one of his red shirts on, but to no avail. The shirt was riding up, his round belly exposed as it hung over the waistline of his blue jeans. After hearing a slight tearing noise, Roy uttered a cry of frustration and gave up the battle.

It was probably the donuts that started it.

“You just comin’ in, Wingster?” Roy, having been on monitor duty most of the evening while his daughter snoozed away and everyone else had a busy night life, asked as Nightwing trudged into the kitchen.

“Another late shift in Bludhaven,” Dick yawned. “And I gotta be back in Gotham.”

“Aww, Daddy giving you a hard time about staying out past your bedtime?” Roy joked about the stick that seemed perpetually lodged up Batman’s butt.

“Funny. Here, ” Dick had shoved an almost full box of donuts into Roy’s hands. “I wasn’t very hungry last night, so you can have them.”

“You leave any with the sprinkles?” Roy asked as he rummaged around finding a pastry to his liking.

“They all have sprinkles.”

“And that’s what keeps saving this marriage,” Roy joked as he chomped on a double chocolate glazed.

“Love you too, dear.”

And then let’s see, there was the pizza Wally left for me and Lian.

Roy was spending time with Lian in the living area, joining her in a round of coloring with one of the JLA books gifted to her by Uncle Superman.


"Daddy!" Lian looked and sounded appalled at the sight of her father's drawing. "You can't use purple on Grandpa Ollie!"


"Now Lian," Roy tsk-tsked, "It's my drawing and if I want your Grandpa Ollie to look like a prune, than it's my sacred right as an American to make him look like a prune."


"Well actually I was gonna say you should use eggplant instead of plum," Lian helped up a different crayon. "It'll bring out his eyes."


"Why didn't I think of that?" Roy wondered as he accepted the crayon from his daughter.


Just then, a large pizza box materialized out of nowhere on top of the coffee table where father and daughter were coloring. Tied to the top were paper plates and napkins. “’Thought you crazy kids might enjoy a snack, love Uncle Flashlight,’” Roy finished reading off the note taped on the box.


“Daddy, it doesn’t say ‘Uncle Flashlight!’” Lian laughed as she tried to grab the note from her dad.


“I’m embellishing, princess!” Roy laughed, playing keep away with his only child. Roy opened the box to see an extra large pie with extra cheese and extra pepperoni. The classic. “Want some?”


“Nah, we had pizza for lunch at school today,” Lian declined. "Besides I don’t like pepperoni.”


“Oh well, more for me," Roy greedily rubbed his hands together like an old cartoon prospector having struck gold.


"Daddy don't get sauce on my coloring book!" Lian cried as Roy ate straight from the box.


"Em ufin a saufe corored cwayon," Roy responded with his mouth full.


And the traditional Scottish breakfast Garth made.


“Oh hey Gillhead,” Roy hobbled into the kitchen on his crutches, seeing Garth at the stove working on something. Seated at the table in a high chair was Garth's infant son, Cerdian. The young Atlantean baby was playing with several plush toys shaped like different colored fish. "And good morning to Aquaman Jr. Jr."


“Roy!” Garth set a spatula down and wiped his hands on his apron. “I’m in a good mood, so I’ll let the Gillhead remark slide. I was about to make breakfast for me, Dolphin and Cerdian. Care to join us?”


“Oh, I already had a big breakfast with Lian before she left for school so I’m kinda-“


“Nonsense,” Garth led Roy by the shoulders and sat him down at the table next to Cerdian, who was flinging a stuffed octopus around by one of its legs. “I never get the chance to cook for anyone around here. And you can help keep an eye on Cerdian before Dolphin wakes up.”


“Well who can say no to an offer like that," Roy mused as he held up a stuffed clown fish in front of Cerdian. "Huh? Huh? You wanna be King of the Seas, little guy? Be a tough guy like your Uncle Roy and Grandpa Aquaman?" And Roy had to admit, whatever Garth was cooking smelled delicious. But as Cerdian cooed while Roy played with him, a thought occurred to Roy. "You’re not making haggis, are you?” Roy sounded worried since it was the only Scottish dish he was familiar with but was unsure if it was served at breakfast.


“Believe it or not they were all out of sheep stomachs at the grocery store,” Garth answered in a deadpan tone before he turned back to the pots and pans on the stove.


“Damn. Way to get our hopes up, huh Cerdian?” Roy turned back to his surrogate nephew and smiled. "Did you want your dad to make a nice sheep stomach?"


"Seep!"


Oh and the cake from Donna.


Roy was in the monitor room, propped up in a chair and surrounded by snacks and a stack of comics he'd borrowed from Grant and forgot to return the last time Grant was in the Tower. He was nonplussed by the writing in "Justice Coven of America."


"Yeesh!" Roy slammed the issue down on the stack. "I don't know what this Johns guy's problem is, but the man shouldn't be allowed to write women."


"Knock knock," Donna sauntered into the monitor room carrying something behind her back. "How's my favorite marksman doing tonight?"


“Bored and disgusted for what passes for literature these days. How’s my favorite Wonder Woman doing?” Roy asked as Donna kissed him on the forehead. He saw she was hiding a box behind her.


“Well, I realized how dull it must be for you getting stuck here with that cast, so to say thanks for all your hard work I got you a little something. Ta-da!”


Donna revealed the box contained what appeared to be a triple layer cake decorated with the symbol he usually wore on his costume.


“Aw, babe, I don’t know what to say,” Roy tried to get up. “You shouldn’t have.”


“Pish. I enjoy doing nice stuff for you,” Donna took the cake out of the box.  “It’s an ice cream cake.”


“A cake made of ice cream?” Roy whistled before breaking a stereotypical hillbilly voice. “Well golly! What’ll them thar scientists come up with next?”


I ate almost half an entire ice cream cake. No wonder I’ve got a gut.



Roy had tugged off the red shirt and tossed it back on his bed since it was clear he wouldn’t be able to get the entire thing on. He looked at himself in the bedroom mirror wearing just a pair of jeans and socks. He wondered how he hadn’t noticed until after the cast came off, how it didn’t occur to him that his costume was highlighting a new set of curves that weren’t there before.


He placed a hand on his bare chest. It was soft. Much softer than before.


God, I’ve got boobs.


“Well, they do seem perky.” Roy tried to console himself.


He examined his new belly, and felt a twinge when he realized his feet were obscured. His stomach was definitely too big to be called a beer gut, which was good in a way. He didn't want to look like one of those moron sitcom dads who'd given up on life. He patted his stomach and gave it a squeeze. It was soft, but there was some firmness to it. Round, but it didn’t look flabby. Hopefully that was because he still exercised even if he’d been snacking and lying around so much. But his belly button looked kind of squashed. No doubt about it, he'd sailed past "Chubby" and was definitely FAT. It was weird no longer having abs. It was something he hadn’t thought of before, since almost every guy in the superhero community sported eight pack abs even if they never exercised.


Maybe I can be a trendsetter or something. Oh yeah, kegs are definitely in this season! It’s all the rage in Milan!


Roy flexed both his arms, and was relieved to see the musculature hadn’t diminished or turned to flab. Just to be sure he gave himself a pinch. He sighed when his arm felt firm. Turning around, he flexed again and could see the reflection of his back and shoulder muscles still looked the same too…


At least I still have that going for me.


Except for the appearance of love handles and a butt that seemed surprisingly rounder than before.


Heh, I wonder if I can make Dick jealous.


Turning around he saw his thighs were meatier too.


Great, not only do I have love handles but I’ve got thunder thighs to match.


He rationalized he probably hadn’t put on THAT much weight, but whatever pounds he’d gained were simply noticeable because his frame was already rather large. All those years of using a bow had given him a broad back and shoulders. It was more apparent when he stood to the side from the way his gut stuck out. But he wasn’t ready to weigh himself on a scale. He didn’t want to see what the new number would be.


Roy cautiously stuck his head out of his room to see if anyone was in the hall before navigating down to the room Wally usually occupied when he stayed at the Tower. He knew Wally was taller than him, so maybe he could borrow a couple of shirts that still fit on his bigger frame. Unfortunately, all he came out with was a jersey adorned with the Flash’s symbol on it.


It was either that or that tacky Christmas sweater Wally had bought years before he married Linda.


Thankfully in the safety of his room, Roy was relieved to see the jersey fit, but didn’t do much to diminish his new girth.


“Thanks guys,” he said to himself, thinking of how his friends had fattened him up without him noticing.


What, did they think I’m not capable enough to feed myself AND my kid?


Roy inhaled and sucked his stomach in.


I’m a grown man, for God’s sake.


And then exhaled and let his gut out again.


…I guess a growing man would be more accurate.


He sighed again, and knew it wasn’t really their fault. He hadn’t protested as much, had he?


I should give ‘em a break, they’re probably just worried about me. Which is why Twinkletoes probably won’t mind if I borrow one of his shirts until I can go clothes shopping.


Roy stood closer to the mirror and began to examine his face, noticing there was a plumpness that was brand new as well.


Were my cheeks this round, though? Ugh, my chin’s so fat, too. He scratched his scruffy chin. Maybe if I grow out the soul patch into a beard no one’ll notice before I can-


“Daddy what’s for din-“


“Gaah!”


Roy jumped back and almost knocked over the mirror, having not heard Lian enter the room. The young black haired, green eyed girl (who looked a lot like her mother) seemed alarmed, and was suddenly anxiously checking the room to see what had startled her dad.


“What? What is it?! Is Mommy here?!” Lian looked under his bed, expecting to find her genocidal terrorist of a mom hiding among the crap Roy shoved beneath the mattress. “Did she break out of prison again?!”


“No! No. Sorry peanut,” Roy apologized. “You just spooked me.”


“I’m sorry.” Lian looked apologetic. “I thought nothing scared you, Daddy,” Lian said as she stood up and brushed some dust off her shirt.


“Lots of things scare me, honey,” Roy sighed as he sat down on the bed, listing off the things which terrified him. “Health insurance, the thought of anything bad happening to you, your mom coming after you again, Uncle Batman when he’s angry…”


“Am I scarier than Uncle Batman?” Lian asked as she put a hand on her father’s knee. He smiled and ruffled her hair.


“You’re a real terror, Lian,” He meant as a compliment.


“Yay!” Lian cheered. “I wanna strike fear in the hearts of criminals everywhere! The Joker, the Penguin, Killer Croc!”


Roy couldn’t help but laugh as Lian started doing karate poses like her favorite actor, Jackie Chan.


“You’ll have ‘im shaking in their boots, kiddo.”


“Bam! Pow! Smack!” Lian punched and kicked at the air before she started laughing. Roy laid back sprawled over the messy bed, and started staring up at the ceiling light when Lian clouded his vision.


“What’s wrong?” She asked, kneeling beside her dad’s head. “You look like Uncle Dick whenever he has to talk to his daddy on the phone.”


“It’s nothing, kiddo,” Roy sighed again, and puts his hands over his face. “I’m fat.” He confessed.


“Oh, I knew that,” Lian replied as she sprawled herself over her dad’s big midsection.


“You did?” Roy asked.


“Mmhmm! Why? Did you not know you were fat?” Lian wondered.


“You always were the observant one,” Roy chuckled.


“Nuh-uh. What about that time you saw me trying to sneak Rice Krispie Treats behind your back?” Lian began to make her own list. “Or the time I was gonna do William Tell with Cerdian? Or the-


“Awright, I get it. I’m very observant. And very fat.”


Lian crawled off her dad and sat on the bed next to him.


“Do you not wanna be?” Lian continued to ask as she poked his soft side. “Cuz I mean, whatever you wanna do is cool by me but I kinda like you better this way.”


“Really?” Roy was surprised to hear as he sat up. “You don’t think I’m gross or anything?”


“No way!” Lian tried to cheer him up. “You’re great to hug now that you’re all soft, and you make the best pillow. And you look like that big fluffy dog we saw at the pet store that one time!”


“I think I kinda look like Garfield now, peanut,” Roy mused rather ruefully as he patted his belly. “And I don’t even like lasagna.”


“Garfield’s a jerk, you’re much nicer than Garfield. He’s always mean to Jon,” Lian huffed, a small pout rising on her lips.


“I look weird though.”


“You look very handsome, and, um, rugged!” Lian clapped her hands. “You’ve still got lots of muscles. Like a wrestler or a mountain man! You’re very tough,” An imaginary light bulb lit up above Lian’s head. “You can even use your belly to fight crime!”


“Yeah, I can probably beat people with it,” Roy rolled his eyes.


“Well you CAN use anything as a weapon, right?” Lian reminded him. Roy couldn’t believe how supportive his kid was trying to sound. He was even starting to believe her.


“You’re not worried about a guy who’s gonna be called ‘The Fat Titan’ now?” Roy inquired.


“I’d rather they call you that then ‘The Titan Who Did Drugs,’” Lian seethed and looked genuinely upset. Her happy expression was replaced by a look of scrunched up anger. She hated people who insulted her dad just because he once had problems with drugs, like that’s all he was. “When they say that it’s because they wanna be mean, not like when Hoshimini and everyone at the reservation is just teasing you. Are you afraid people are gonna make fun of you?”


“Hate to break it to you Lian, but people already make fun of me,” Roy scratched the back of his head, acknowledging his reputation among the hero community wasn’t exactly stellar.


“Well if anyone does, I’ll tell them to stop being a bunch of buttheads!” Lian declared. “And then I’ll pop their clocks like Grandma Dinah taught me!”


“Even if it was Grandpa Ollie or Uncle Batman?” Roy replied, touched by his daughter’s sincerity.


“What do you think Grandpa Ollie would say to you?” Lian wondered as she folded her legs beneath her and kept all her attention on her dad.


Roy stood up from the bed and started doing an impression of his mentor and second foster dad.


“Well, if I know your Grandpa, he’d probably go,” Roy used his hands to mimic Ollie’s beard, “’Roy for God’s sake you have a responsibility as a father and a superhero to set a better example for proper eating habits. By getting out of shape you’re promoting obesity and the likelihood of diabetes and other such diseases in the impressionable minds of the world. You have to think of the children!’”


“Daddy, Grandpa Ollie doesn’t talk like that!” Lian giggled. Roy said nothing, but raised an eyebrow as if to ask if Lian really believed that. “Okay no, he does. But what would Uncle Batman say?”


Roy placed his hands by his head and mimicked bat ears.


“He’d say ‘You’re allowing yourself to become a liability in the war on crime and are a disgrace to the crimefighting community.’” Roy lowered his voice to a Batman growl. “’Instead of spending your time eating junk food and watching TV, you should’ve been on a steady diet of JUSTICE!”


“Hmmph, well Uncle Dick says Batman doesn’t take good care of himself so he can’t say anything,” Lian crossed her arms across her chest and scowled. “And you know what, maybe he gets Uncle Alfred to hide HIS belly in those suits.”


“You think?” Roy crouched down to Lian’s eye level.


“Yeah, because Uncle Alfred’s a really good cook. And don’t you think it’s weird you can rhyme ‘bat’ and ‘fat?’ Think about it,” Lian nodded in all seriousness, as if she’d exposed a grand conspiracy.


That was Roy’s limit and he started to laugh.


“You’re silly, Etai Yazi,” Roy scooped her up in his arms hugged her.


“No you’re silly!” Lian giggled.


“I’m silly and fat,” Roy kissed her forehead.


“And that’s why you’re awesome!” Lian cheered. “But I’d love ya even if you weren’t.”


“Hey, how is it you’re the one who makes me feel better when I’m the parent and you’re the kid?” Roy wondered.


“Well I’m happy if you’re happy, so if I’m making you happy that means you’re making me happy. Get it?” Lian asked.


“Not really,” Roy walked out of his room holding Lian in his arms. “But thanks.”


“Oh, I almost forgot, I wanted to ask what’re we gonna do for dinner?” Lian remembered the whole reason she looked for her dad.


“Dunno,” Roy answered. “How about the two of us go for a walk and we’ll figure something out in the city. I need to stretch my legs after getting stuck in that cast for so long. And I’m definitely gonna need to buy more shirts until I can lose some of this.”


“But not ALL of it, right?” Lian pouted a puppy dog pout. “I don’t wanna lose my favorite pillow.”


“Okay fine, just a little bit,” Roy gave in.


“You wanna ask Toni to come along with us? She knows a lot about buying clothes,” Lian suggested.


“I’d rather just spend more time with you, Etai Yazi,” Roy smiled down at her, genuinely feeling better than he had earlier.


“Okay, I’ll go get my jacket!” Lian jumped out of her dad’s arms and ran down the hall.


“And don’t run!” He called after her.


Lian hurried into her room and grabbed a red hooded sweatshirt. On her way out she bumped into her aunt Donna and uncle Dick.


“Whoa there, Speedy,” Dick chuckled as Lian ran into Donna’s legs, “Where’s the fire?”


Lian hugged both her surrogate aunt and uncle.


“Hi guys, me and daddy are going out for a walk and do some shopping before we have dinner tonight.” Lian started to get her sweatshirt over head but was starting to get tangled up.


“Daddy and I,” Donna corrected as she knelt down and helped straighten out Lian’s sweatshirt.


“Thanks Aunt Donna,” Lian smiled as she kissed her aunt on the cheek. “I’ll see you guys later.”


“Have fun, kiddo,” Donna stood up.


As Lian reached the other end of the hall, she turned around and shouted, “Oh, and if anyone has a problem with Daddy being fat, tell them I’m gonna pop their heads open!”


Donna and Dick exchanged confused looks with each other, wondering where that came from.


“Is Roy fat?” Dick asked Donna.


“You know I think he has put on a little weight,” Donna started to think back and remember. “It looks good on him though.”


“Oh and someone should tell Uncle Wally Daddy borrowed his shirt, bye!”
Titans: There's Just More Of Him To Love
Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics.

Arsenal is fat. And what is Lian Harper going to do about it?

Okay, so, I love the idea of chubby!Roy, and I'm sick of how I'm the only person who seems to do anything about it. I love writing about Roy and Lian's awesome father/daughter relationship, so I focused on doing something with Roy a tad upset at putting on a few pounds and Lian being his little cheerleader.

This takes place during the Vol.1 Titans series, after Roy broke his leg fighting Deathstroke. But since Lian was younger in that series, let's just fudge with the timeline a bit.

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It was a nice looking jack-o'-lantern. Not an angry or scary looking one, but not a silly, dopey-looking one either. Lian wanted to feel proud, but she had to get a second opinion.

"Does it look okay, Donna?" Lian Harper asked her surrogate aunt, Donna Troy, as Donna finished cleaning the bowls and cups they'd just used. Donna wiped her hands on a dish towel before joining Lian's side. On the kitchen table there was a triple layer cake, covered in rich chocolate icing. Lian had just finished decorating the top of the cake with orange, green, and yellow butter cream frosting to make a pumpkin face. It smiled up at the young and younger women.

"It looks wonderful, Lian." Donna said, patting Lian's back.

"But it does look like a pumpkin, right?" Lian was unsure as she looked into her aunt's eyes. "You're not just saying that?"

"You won't be getting false praise from me, honey." Donna commented, then kissed Lian on the top of her head. That made Lian believe Donna was speaking true.

"I bet Daddy will love it." Lian mentioned.

"I hope he does too." Donna added, as they had spent most of the afternoon baking the cake for Lian's father Roy, while also keeping an eye on Lian's baby brother Tommy. This weekend, Donna's ex-husband (Terry or Jerry or whatever his name is) had custody of their son Robbie and her stepdaughter Jennifer. So Donna convinced Roy to let her watch Lian and Tommy for the afternoon feeling he'd been doing a lot lately and could use some time to himself. It was entirely transparent she wanted time with Lian to do something for Roy while he was out of the house, but no one said anything.

Tommy had just been fed and put down for a nap while Lian iced and decorated the cake. She insisted on doing it by herself to prove she could.

"Well we both love all the other cakes and stuff you've been bringing over." Lian reminded Donna. "But thanks for letting me help with this."

"It was my pleasure having you as a baking partner." Donna hugged the young girl. "I'm gonna go check on Tommy."

But before Donna could leave the kitchen, Lian had a question she wanted to ask. A question that had been on her mind for a while.

"Donna?"

"Yes, Lian?" Donna stopped and turned to face Lian again.

"Is everything okay?" Lian asked, a look of concern on her face.

"Huh?" The question sort of caught Donna by surprise before Lian began talking.

"You've been coming over a lot lately," Lian explained, "And I know you and Daddy aren't together-I mean, 'Together' together anymore. Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me, honey. I'm fine." Donna smiled. But Lian wasn't fully convinced.

"Is it cuz of all that stuff that happened when I… you know."

"No, Lian." Donna replied.

"Well, how come you're over so much?" Lian continued.

"Do you want me to stop coming over?" Donna asked.

"No! I love having you over. And so does Daddy and I'm sure Tommy does as well if he could talk." Lian emphasized. Donna laughed a little before she spoke.

"I just liking spending time with you guys, and I like cooking for you guys." Donna explained.

"I'll say." Lian smirked, thinking about all the homemade sweets and stuff Donna had been leaving for Roy at their house, and at Titans Tower, and at Donna's place. Her dad especially seemed to really like them. And it was starting to show.

"I'm gonna go check on your brother before your dad gets home. Okay?" Donna smiled at Lian.

"Okay." Lian smiled back.

But as Donna left the room, Lian's smile faded and the look of concern returned.

She wasn't convinced at all.



"I'm home!" Roy called out from the front door. "Any wild and crazy parties or dead bodies better be taken care of by the time I step over the threshold!" He held two big bags of groceries in his arms, and one plastic bag containing takeout hanging around his wrist, as he entered the house when Lian came running out of the living room.

"Daddy!" She threw her arms around her dad's waist and squeezed.

"Etai Yazi!" Roy called back, which was Navajo for "Little Girl." "Gimme a sec," he said as he tried to place the reusable bags down on the side table in the hallway. He then kneeled down to Lian's level and gave her a big hug and kiss on her cheek. "Missed you."

"Missed you more." Lian replied, kissing Roy's scruffy cheek.

"And you didn't burn the house down while I was gone." Roy whistled. "I'm impressed."

"Well I can be trusted not to burn the house down. Unlike some people." Lian folded her arms and gave her dad a pretend angry glare, referring to a certain incident Roy had while Lian was… away.

"True, true. You're certainly more trustworthy than I am." Roy conceded as he stood up. "We all know you're the responsible one, though I don't know where you get it from."

"Oh and, guess what?" Lian asked.

"What?"

"Boop." Lian poked at his belly button, sticking out after his shirt came untucked.

"Hey!" Roy shooed her off as he tucked his shirt back in.

"Well it's your own fault for getting fat." Lian smugly informed him.

"I know, I know," Roy smirked. "I'm gross."

"Nah, you're not." Lian hugged her dad again. "Whatdja do while we were here?" Lian asked.

"I took care of some stuff at Titans Tower, then I did some shopping. No big deal."

"Come look what me and Donna did while you were out!" Lian began to pull her dad into the kitchen, bumping into Donna who was coming out of the first floor bathroom.

"Hi Mr. Speedy." Donna said as she hugged Roy.

"Hi Ms. Wonder Girl." Roy replied. "You guys have fun?"

"Always."

"Surprise!" Lian practically shoved the cake in Roy's face.

"You guys made this together?" Roy asked as Donna took the cake from Lian.

"Does it look good?" Lian asked.

"It looks great!" Roy messed up Lian's hair before turning his attention to Donna again. "But what's the occasion?"

Donna shrugged, acting like it was no big deal.

"No occasion, just wanted to do something nice while you had the day to yourself." Was the convenient explanation she gave.

"I did the icing myself, and I put the pumpkin on it since it's almost Halloween." Lian revealed. "It's chocolate and spice."

"I really don't know what I did to deserve you two." Roy kissed Lian on the cheek and then Donna. "You're spoiling me."

"I can put these away if you wanna check in on Tommy." Donna offered as she set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter.

"It's cool, I can do it." Roy reached over, but Donna playfully slapped his hand away.

"No no, go see Tommy." Donna insisted.

"He wasn't any trouble today, was he?" Roy asked.

"Not at all."

"I'll go with you, Daddy." Lian joined her father.

The two Harpers headed upstairs to where Tommy Harper, nee Blake, the youngest member of the family slept. Roy quietly opened the door and stuck his head inside to see Lian's baby brother sleeping soundly in his crib.

"I hate leaving him alone." Roy sighed as he closed the door.

"It's cool dad, we had fun with Donna." Lian explained. "But, um…"

Roy saw the look on Lian's face and knew what she was referring to.

"She didn't tell you what was wrong, did she." Roy guessed. Lian sighed.

"No." Lian shook her head. "But she's sad about something, Daddy. I saw it when I asked her what was wrong. It was like when you used to tell me you were okay, even though you weren't."

"Damn it." Roy muttered to himself.

"I'm sorry." Lian apologized.

"It's okay, peanut. You didn't do anything wrong." Roy reassured her.

For the last couple of months, Donna had been acting strange. But then it had been a strange couple of years for a variety of reasons and they were only just returning to a semblance of their old lives.

Their REAL lives.

Probably the strangest things had been how Roy was brainwashed into thinking Jason Todd was his best friend, and Donna had been replaced by a doppelganger who then gave her life to save Donna.

With Roy and Donna back on the Titans with their friends Dick, Wally, and Garth, things felt real for the first time in a long time, even before the world had been gutted inside out. It was like someone had engineered a string of tragedies to make them as miserable as possible before killing them. Now they were all alive and healthy, and so were their kids and loved ones.

Yet Donna had started becoming… not clingy, but, was motherly the right word? Overeager? It seemed that way to Roy and Lian, and to a lesser extent Tommy. Admittedly, he was a new addition to the Harper household after Roy learned of his existence and rescued him from Tommy and Lian's mom a few months ago.

Donna seemed to worry a lot if Roy was eating enough, and had been showering father and daughter Harper in a variety of baked snacks and treats. Cakes, cookies, pies, even these delectable pomegranate pastries Donna learned of from her sister Diana. Roy was certainly enjoying them more than Lian was, since Donna saw more of the older Harper than the younger one. If he had to stay late at the Tower, she had food ready for a late night snack. If he was arriving early in the morning, there was breakfast in case he skipped the meal. It certainly explained how Roy had put on such a significant amount of weight and developed a noticeable belly on his large archer frame.

Roy could sense SOMEthing was bothering Donna, as this type of behavior was new. Oh sure, Donna had long doted on Lian as if she was her daughter. But baking and preparing meals hadn't really been something she was interested in. Roy and Lian weren't ungrateful, but they wanted to know what the problem was. He kept trying to ask her if she wanted to talk, but she smiled and said she was fine. The way she said it, Roy could recognize a slight trace of sadness. Then she'd hurry off to do something else, a mission or monitor duty or something with her sister Diana and the Amazons.

Lian recognized it too, but she was always a perceptive child and probably noticed before Roy did. They began to feel guilty that Donna was doing all this for them and asking for nothing. Maybe they were imagining things and she was trying to be friendly. But maybe not. That was why Roy had caved in so easily when Donna suggested he take a day for himself and let her watch the kids. He'd agreed with Lian that she would try to ask Donna what was on her mind without him in the vicinity.

"What are we gonna do, daddy? I hate seeing her like this." Lian admitted.

"I should've gotten Dick and the others to help," Roy said more to himself, "but I didn't want to put her on the spot in front of everyone."

"But she hasn't been acting weird with them, right?" Lian asked. "It's just us, for some reason."

"Yeah…" Roy furrowed his brow, trying to think.



Downstairs in the kitchen, Donna had finished putting away the rest of the food in the fridge when Roy tapped her on the shoulder.

"What'd you pick up for dinner?" Donna turned and asked him.

"I got some chicken and rice with plantains from this place near the supermarket." Roy explained. "But hey, before we eat…"

"Yes?"

Roy sighed.

"Donna, I want you to please tell me what's wrong." Roy asked his teammate and best friend.

"You sound just like Lian a little while ago." Donna laughed. "You guys worry too much. Can't I do something nice for one of my best friends and his daughter? Is that so strange?"

"No, but I mean," Roy scratched the back of his head as he tried to come up with the right words. He should've been direct to begin with, but feared he was over thinking things. He trusted Lian's judgment, though. "I remember you don't like it when everyone expects you to act like their mom. So Lian and I, we were both wondering if you're really okay doing all this. The baking, cooking."

"Roy-" Donna was about to begin before Roy cut her off.

"Hey, I'm not complaining or anything. Aside that I'm gonna need some bigger clothes, of course." Roy smiled and patted his new belly. "I appreciate all the stuff you've done and how you're trying to look out for me and my kids. But I feel like I'm taking advantage of you, and that isn't even the main thing I'm worried about. Donna, Lian and I both think something's going on with you. Please, if something's wrong I wanna help. We both do."

Donna wasn't sure what to say, Roy's green eyes locked on her blue ones.

"Please? Tell me what's wrong?"

Donna hesitated and looked away from Roy and Lian. She scratched her arm.

"It's… it's silly, really." There was a little tremble in Donna's voice.

"Well look, why don't we eat dinner first, and then you can tell the two of us what's on your mind over that cake you and Lian made. Promise?"



Donna wasn't sure whether or not to look forward to the talk after dinner, which was something of an event when Tommy absolutely refused to eat unless Donna was the one to feed him. Roy had barely eaten anything as he struggled to get his stepson to budge a little on the subject of mashed carrots. Lian was happy to get dinner AND a show, until Tommy swatted his food in Lian's direction.

After Tommy finally settled down, had his bath, and was told a Navajo legend to get to sleep, Roy, Donna, and Lian sat in the living room with coffee and cake (and milk for Lian since she didn't need the caffeine AND sugar). Roy sat in the middle of the couch with Donna and Lian flanking him on both sides.

"So, tell us what's bothering you, Donna." Roy got straight to the point.

"Am I gonna have another baby brother, Daddy?" Lian wondered. "Is that why you're so unhappy Donna?"

Donna practically choked on her cake.

"Ahaha! No, Lian, nothing like that." Donna assured Lian.

"I figured," Lian sighed, pinching her dad's side. "But I was hoping he was eating for two."

"Hey now-!" Roy almost dropped his plate as he squirmed.

"It's cool daddy, I like you better this way." Lian giggled. "You make the best pillow when we stay up late watching movies and you're a lot happier than you were before."

"True. So thanks for that, Donna."

The three of them set everything down on the coffee table before they began to really talk. Donna looked down at her hands, folded in her lap, as Roy and Lian aimed their attention solely on her.

"I know my behavior has been bizarre lately-" Donna started.

"I wouldn't call it 'bizarre'-" Roy added.

"But with all the ridiculousness of the past few years and how badly things went for all of us," Donna began to list the horrible things everyone went through, "Prometheus, the Black Lanterns, the Villains for Hire, and then the time Barry Allen and Dr. Manhattan stole from us, I've been feeling… I-I guess I'd call it regret."

"Regret?" Roy was confused, wondering what she was referring to, "For what?"

Donna looked at Lian before she spoke again.

"Lian," Donna felt uncomfortable just remembering what happened, "You know about what happened after you…"

"Died?" Lian finished.

Roy and Donna both winced.

Her death. One of the most painful moments of Roy's life. A senseless accident that was a harbinger for what felt like an eternity of unhappiness for both the Harpers and their extended family.

"Um. Yeah. I-I do." Lian reluctantly confirmed.

"The last time your dad and I spoke before things got really bad, at your, um," God Donna hated everything right now, "Funeral. It wasn't great."

"I know about that too." Lian revealed rather somberly. She knew about the awful things her father had screamed at Donna regarding the deaths of her own children. How he'd accused her of "Whoring in space" with Kyle Rayner while her son died in a car crash. Which absolutely wasn't true, by the way.

"Looking back on it, I've felt, yes, what your dad said to me was really out of line, but I shouldn't have let that stop me from trying to help." Donna was now referring to how almost everyone in Roy's life had completely, utterly failed at trying to help him deal with Lian's death. Even with how aggressive he'd turned in the most recent days after Lian died, the lack of empathy most of Roy's friends had given was astonishing. It hurt worse because it turned out more had been going on than everyone assumed, which they would've noticed had they really paid attention to Roy's behavior.

"Donna-"

"No. Please let me get this off my chest." Donna stood and seated herself in a chair away from Roy and Lian, so she could get a better look at them as she spoke. "I've been wondering about if maybe, if I'd tried harder to reach out to you Roy, when you started slipping, then maybe things wouldn't have reached the point they did. I've seen how much you've worked towards making it up to Lian, and how hard you've been trying with Tommy. I feel like if I'd been more help back then, you wouldn't have needed to work so hard now."

"I didn't 'slip,' Donna," Roy firmly told her, owning up to his actions, "I did drugs, called you a whore, tried to kill Dick and Mia, and joined Deathstroke's fake Titans because I was angry and using Lian as an excuse to justify all the crap I pulled."

"I'm not trying to absolve you of the stuff you did Roy-"

"He's been doing his best for me and Tommy!" Lian interjected, almost pleaded, to Donna, to immediately make her feel better and end this unbearable moment. "And I help with Tommy too! Plus I already forgave him for all that, a-and he apologized to Uncle Dick and Mia, anyway!"

"It's alright, Etai Yazi." Roy tried to soothe her.

"I'm sorry, is what I'm trying to say. I didn't do enough to help after Lian died. When Robbie and Jen passed away, I-I don't even want to get into some of the stuff that went through my head. You wanna believe part of me hated you, Roy? Because you still had Lian and I barely saw Robbie at that point after the divorce? I should've been more forgiving after that argument."

"And so you've been worrying so much lately, doing all that cooking and baking…?"

"I wanted to do something more tangible to show I care and that I wanted to make up for it." Donna finally admitted. "I've been trying to pay attention. It's easy to say stuff about doing everything I can to help, but I figured this was the best way to show it."

Roy and Lian looked at each other and then looked at Donna.

"Well, I've been trying." Donna sighed and sank back in the chair.

No one said anything for a minute that seemed to last hours, before Roy stood up.

"Donna, can you stand up please?" Roy extended his hand towards her.

"Huh?"

"Come on, up and at 'em." Roy said. As Donna took Roy's hand, he pulled her into a tight embrace as Lian stood behind Donna and placed her hands around her waist."

"Listen Wonder Chick," Roy began, "you've got nothing to be sorry about and nothing to apologize for. I heard about what happened with the Black Lanterns, and you'd have been totally justified for taking my head off after what I said."

Roy referred to the nightmarish ordeal where Donna encountered a zombified version of son, whom she tried to kill in order to stop. It didn't work, and what she did continued to haunt Donna even though Robbie was alive again.

"Yeah, I would have and he's my dad." Lian agreed.

"Even before I found out, I didn't blame you for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not right for you to blame yourself when you needed help too after what you went through. And I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to make it up to us."

Donna wasn't sure what to say.

"Come on, I hate seeing so unhappy. What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Yeah, what can WE do?" Lian corrected.

Donna relaxed, and smiled. Roy and Lian let go and she sighed, a sigh of relief instead of unhappiness. There'd been too much sighing today.

"For starters, next weekend you can make breakfast for me, Jen, and Robbie when she visits." Donna joked, then sniffed and wiped away a tear from her eye. "And then the six of us, Tommy included, can spend the afternoon baking at the Tower." Donna mused.

"Snickerdoodles, peanut?" Roy conspired with Lian, taking Donna totally seriously.

"Roy I'm ki-"

"How about something with macadamia nuts?" Lian wondered.

"No good, Jen's allergic to nuts." Roy surprised Donna by mentioning that since she wasn't aware he knew of her children's allergies.

"Okay then snickerdoodles!" Lian declared.

"Does that help?" Roy asked Donna, mock pouting with puppy dog eyes. "Snickerdoodles?"

"You're both such dorks." Donna held his hand.

"Well, DUH." Both Harpers said.

"Besides, I'm the Titan who's supposed to be constantly ashamed of themselves." Roy joked. "It's kind of my whole shtick, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Yeah, stop stealing my dad's shtick!" Lian ordered. "It's all he has going for him. It's bad enough you made him fat!"

"Yeah, it's bad enough you made me fat!" Roy parroted his daughter.

That was too much for Donna and she started to laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
Titans: Cakes and Confessions
Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics

This is a post-Rise of Arsenal, post-New 52, and post-Rebirth story that explores a world where Lian Harper is alive and Donna Troy took her place back after being replaced by that bastardized copy from Meredith Finch's "Wonder Woman" run. I wrote this for Roy Harper's Birthday Week over on tumblr. The story is at a time Roy has custody of Lian's half brother, Tommy Blake Jr., and Donna's son and stepdaughter are alive as well.
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“I cannot believe you talked me into this.” Damian Wayne muttered as he followed Dick Grayson down the sidewalk to their destination.
“Oh stop being so serious, tonight will be fun!” Dick tried to assure his surrogate little brother.
“Fun?” Damian scoffed. “You call dressing up like a bunch of jackasses and begging people to increase our likelihood of contracting diabetes fun?”
“Yeah, fun!” Dick responded with enough enthusiasm to ignore Damian’s sarcasm.
Fun. Ugh. Just thinking of the word made Damian cringe.
“Father wouldn’t allow this.” Damian huffed.
“You’re right, and that’s what makes it fun.” Dick reasoned.
“So if he told you not to jump off the Gotham Bridge, you’d consider that ‘Fun?’”
“Oh look we’re here!” Dick hurried up the driveway to Roy Harper’s new home in Arizona.
“I still don’t understand what this… thing you’ve made me dress as is supposed to be.” Damian gestured to the costume Dick had made them wear. The two of them dressed like a pair of gangster mooks straight out of an old mob movie. Dick had somehow managed to convince Damian to put make-up on his face to resemble dirt, like he really was some street urchin hoping to make a name for himself with the local mobsters.
“You’re a goomba! You know, a scrapper, a tough guy from the wrong side of the tracks.” Dick enthused.
“I look like I stepped out of a high school musical.” Damian complained.
“It’s funny you should mention that because I almost considered having us dress up like the characters from ‘Cats.’” Dick capped off as he rang the bell to Roy’s house.
“Well if we have to do this why do you insist on dragging along your barrage of childhood sycophants?” Damian asked for the umpteenth time.
“Because we haven’t had a chance to hang together outside of official Titans business for a while.” Dick explained before knocking on the front door. “Yo, Roy! You home?”
“Is this another Jehovah’s Witness thing?” A voice from behind the door called out.
“No, it’s your best friend!” Dick answered.
“Which is exactly what a Jehovah’s Witness would say.” The voice replied before finally opening the door.
“Wingster!”
“Speedo!”
The two childhood buddies hugged as Damian quickly walked past them in an effort to ignore the sickening display of sentimentality.
“Harper.” Damian sniffed.
“Damien.” Roy nodded as he shut the door after Dick. Damian turned to face Roy.
“You don’t appear as strung out as I was expecting, that must’ve taken a lot of effort to accomplish.” Damian snidely remarked.
“Oh yeah, I crashed hours ago.” Roy joked in response, no longer registering Damian’s haughty sense of humor. “Besides, Lian hid my stash.”
“Again?” Dick got in on the joke. “And speaking of which, where is one of my favorite nieces?”
“Oh she’s putting the finishing touches on her costume, lemme see if she’s ready.” At which point Roy started screaming at the staircase “YO LIAN!”
“WHAT?!” A voice called from the second floor.
“DICK’S HERE SO MOVE IT!” Roy hollered back at his daughter while trying not to laugh at how ridiculous he was being with his daughter right now.
“BITE ME, OLD MAN, I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!” Was the response Lian gave to her father.
“Is his house always this eloquent?” Damian dryly asked while Dick and Roy laughed.
“We’re still meeting Wally, Gillhead, and Wonder Babe right?” Roy inquired.
“Wally said he’d be meeting us with Linda and the twins, and Donna would be bringing Robbie and Jennifer with her to meet Garth, Dolphin, and Cerdian.” Dick explained.
“Excellente.”
“Yes, that was my sentiment exactly.” Damian rolled his eyes. It was then Dick and Damian got a good look at his costume.
“So, um, your costume, it’s…” Dick trailed off, realizing Roy was wearing what appeared to be white, full body underwear with a red cape, a blue mask, and a drawing of a crossbones on the chest.
“You are wearing underwear beneath that thing, right?” Damian asked.
“As best to my knowledge.” Roy shrugged. “Wait’ll you see Lian’s.”
“Kay daddy I’m all done!” Lian skipped down the stairs and jumped into her dad’s arms. “How do I look?”
“Terrifying.” Roy assured.
“Lian!” Dick was pleased to see his surrogate niece and goddaughter.
“Uncle Dick! Damian!” Lian ran and gave each of them a hug, much to Damian’s horror. “I love your costumes!”
“And yours is…” Damian stopped and realized Lian was dressed in a black skeleton costume, complete with a skull mask covering her entire head. “Huh, I never expected you of all people to go for legitimately trying to scare someone.”
“That’s about as close as he can get to complimenting someone, so you should be flattered.” Dick “whispered” to Lian.
“You don’t have problem seeing through that mask, right hon?” Roy asked.
“It’s all good, dad.” Lian gave her a father a thumbs-up.
“So what are you two supposed to be?” Dick asked. “Crossbones and Skull Girl?”
“No silly, I’m Nightmare,” Lian pointed a bony finger to herself before gesturing to her dad, “and he’s Sleepy.”
“Who?” Damian was confused.
“They’re an old crimefighting duo Lian read about while she was working on a project for school.” Roy explained. “I’m the sidekick-“
“And I’m the hero!” Lian finished. ”I figured since Daddy has sidekick experience he’d be more comfortable as Sleepy.”
“And Lian can be a genuine nightmare sometimes so she fits the role perfectly.” Roy added.
“Aww, you know me so well, daddy.” Lian beamed.
“Oh, so you’re a knock off of Batman and Robin, I see.” Damian noted.
“Well technically, these guys are from the 1940s, so maybe Batman and Robin are a knock off of us.” Lian laughed.
“Ooh, you hear that Damian, you’re a knock off of Roy.” Dick laughed as Damian’s face turned red.
“W-well so are you!” Damian huffed at Dick.
“Oh he got used to that years ago.” Roy patted Dick’s shoulder.
“It’s true, I just had to get used to it.” Dick sighed.
“Well come on, Sleepy, there’s crime and candy a-foot!” Lian grabbed her dad’s hand and pulled him out the door.
“Sir, yes sir!” Roy saluted as he followed after his progeny.
“Ugh, I can’t believe he lets her drag him around like HE’s the sidekick.” Damian shook his head.
“Hey now, you know, if it came down to it I would be honored to be your sidekick.” Dick patted Damian’s head.
“Oh?” Damian asked, secretly flattered but not wanting to give his brother the satisfaction. “When exactly did you stop?”
Titans: Of Nightmares and Mooks
Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics.

A birthday gift I wrote for my friend LevyRasputin featuring Dick, Damian, Roy and Lian, plus a nod to two Golden Age characters who belong to the public domain.
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i didn't know what i was doing in elementary school
and i made everyone hate me

i didn't know what i was doing in middle school
and i was assaulted on the school bus

i didn't know what i was doing in high school
and i was molested in art class

i didn't know what i was doing in college
and i couldn't stop my family from falling apart

i didn't know what i was doing after college
and i couldn't help my friends as they died

i don't know what i'm doing
someone please make me stop
i don't know what i'm doing
please, I want to make this stop
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The itsy bitsy spider
spun a pretty web.

The itsy bitsy spider
lived above her bed.

The teeny tiny baby
lay inside her crib.

The teeny tiny baby
drooled onto her bib.

The baby saw the spider
high above her head.

The baby saw the spider
this is what she said.

"Why do you have so many eyes?"
"So I can watch you as you sleep."

"Why do you have so many legs?"
"So I can run and jump and leap."

"Why do you have such scary teeth?"
"To eat the things that crawl and creep."

"Why do you look at me that way?"
The spider didn't make a peep.

The baby's loving momma
came in to say good night.

The baby's loving momma
was in for a big fright.

The baby's loving momma
thought it was a bad dream.

The baby's loving momma
opened her mouth and screamed.

The not so itsy bitsy spider
crawled out of the baby's bed.

For the not so itsy bitsy spider
had eaten the baby's head.

Pride

I AM PROUD

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

deviantID

JudeDeluca
Jude
United States
Current Residence: Bronx, NY
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Anime Soundtracks
Favourite style of art: Photorealism, Animation
Favourite cartoon character: Utena, Lightning Lad, Harley Quinn, Oyuki, Priss Asagiri, Batman, Daria, Duela Dent, Sailor Jupiter
Interests
Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long but at least I'm trying to add stuff to the gallery.

This last year's been extremely hectic for me. My mother moved back so I've had to deal with arguments between her and my sibling far too much, and I'm worried I'm backsliding in my therapy sessions with Dr. Johnson. I'm hoping there won't be any problems with my birthday this year.

I'm turning 27 in a couple of weeks, and if anyone wants to draw me something or get me art or anything I made up a couple of wishlists for my b-day.

judedeluca.tumblr.com/post/168…

judedeluca.tumblr.com/post/168…

I also recently set up a ko-fi account. I didn't intend to use it so I could get tips or anything. I joined the site to donate to others and when I tried to create my profile, the account just opened.

ko-fi.com/A2664URX

So if anyone wants to tip me for my writing that'd be cool.

I haven't said what I'd like for Christmas though if anyone's wondering.

I have to get on track with doing some writing as Christmas gifts for my friends now. I still haven't even finished decorating the tree.

Comments


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:iconsilvanoir:
silvanoir Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2018  Hobbyist
Did your tumblr get deleted (or did you delete it) ?
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:iconshadowstalker55:
Shadowstalker55 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2018
Thanks for the fave on Strange Matter! :)
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:iconjudedeluca:
JudeDeluca Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2018
I'm doing a review of The Midnight Game for a website called Point Horror.
Reply
:iconl1701e:
L1701E Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2017
Happy Birthday! And Merry Christmas!
Reply
:iconadrenalinerush1996:
AdrenalineRush1996 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2017
Happy birthday.
Reply
:iconandruril93:
Andruril93 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:, dude. :highfive:
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:iconjeirin:
Jeirin Featured By Owner May 12, 2017  Professional General Artist
Thank you for all the favs!!
Reply
:iconl1701e:
L1701E Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2016
Happy Birthday! And Merry Christmas!
Reply
:icontheodj:
TheoDJ Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016
Thanks for watching!
Reply
:iconxenobody:
Xenobody Featured By Owner May 2, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Strange, how have I not been watching your gallery? I apologize for the oversight. Also, I hope matters have improved for you. It seems like things have been tough lately (to put it mildly). 
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