Listening to: "Eat the Rich" by Aerosmith
Watching: Legends of Tomorrow
Playing: Animal Crossing: New Leaf
Holy shit, I've been using DeviantArt for 10 years.
And I use the term "using" loosely. More like "I actively used it for two years, semi-actively used it for another two, and then pretty much only faved-and-ran for the past six." Like, so much has changed. I don't think any of my mutual followers even use this website anymore. Ten years is a fucking eternity in internet years. Then again, it's basically an "eternity" in real life, too.
I was just a 15 year old kid when I first signed up for DeviantArt. Back then I was really discovering things. I was really into two things, drawing and music (mainly rock 'n' roll music). When I was 15, I was so into drawing and practicing drawing because I was dissatisfied with my then-current art skill and I wanted to do even better. So I did a lot of research on art tutorials and I drew a lot. I drew at school and I drew at home. I drew whenever I had free time. I wanted to do a webcomic and I told people that I was working on it... But then I lost interest in doing it. I was also discovering music at that age, and I was discovering new musicians to listen to. I was always discovering something, and I felt like everything became interesting.
But as I got older, something changed. I felt like I wasn't discovering anything "new" anymore. It almost felt as if I had reached a "plateau" of sorts, as if I had discovered all that I wanted to discover. Over time, I just stopped drawing and stopped trying to discover new musicians. For years I've tried to recreate and rediscover my passion for finding new things, but it's been in vain. I haven't discovered anything "new" in a long time. I just don't feel interested in much these days. I don't know if it's because I'm an adult now and I feel like I've seen everything, or that my life experiences have turned me into a "jaded old man" who just doesn't care much about anything anymore. Sure, I drew every now and then, but not as much as I used to back when I was a kid.
Recently, though, I've kind of felt a little spark of creativity within me. A desire to create and just freely do things like I had in my youth. It's not an intense desire, mind you, but I've wanted to draw more. So I figure I'm just gonna do it. I'm not gonna force myself to do anything, but if I feel like creating something, be it art, music, or anything else, I should just do it. I should do it because I want to and because I can.
I guess I feel bad for not being as "creative" as I used to be, but I still view myself as a "creative" person. That is, someone who makes content. And that's kind of what I want to do. Maybe if I do this I'll rediscover my passion for art. I doubt I'll be as wide-eyed and hopeful as I was when I was a kid (seeing as how the cold-hard reality of, well, real life changed that for me as it does with every other person on the planet), but it'll give me something to do.
I don't know why I'm typing all of this because, as I said, I don't think any of my mutual followers use this website anymore, and I wasn't a big-time artist to begin with so it's not like anyone paid much attention to what I uploaded except them. But, here ya go...