I’m not sure exactly how to handle how I’ve been feeling lately. Sadness is an old friend to many, and to me it’s no stranger. I find my lack of interest in favorite past times to be alarming. Am I moving from them due to the depression, as the ailment suggests. I am moving away from what I identify with, that is clear, but do I do it consciously to remove myself from healing pains, or do I do it unwillingly because of my sickness. Idleness truly plagues me, for when I am away from school or work I struggle to grasp at what used to and perhaps still does define me.
Even now I struggle to type this out, even though this act of typing is an attempt to cope with this empty feeling that has continued to stalk me. It’s almost comical being able to recognize what is happening, yet not knowing how to stop it or treat it. I feel at times that even grasping for some type of meaning