W
literature

Write-A-Novel Exercise 1.2 - 2.1

35 Favourites
8 Comments
1K Views

Write-A-Novel Exercise 1.2 - 2.1



Create a deviation that includes the following:


A short introduction to you.  Include why you want to be a writer and what you hope to accomplish in your writing.
The genre of the novel you will be working on during this workshop.
What is the intensity of your novel? 
What is the nature of the conflict in your story?
What are you trying to accomplish with your story?
Are you writing a Comedy or a Tragedy?
Include your chapter rewrite


Include your chapter rewrite


1. A short introduction to you. Include why you want to be a writer and what you hope to accomplish in your writing.

I would like to someday make my readers feel the emotions that they otherwise might not be able—whether it be sadness, anger, happiness, fear, or anything else—and to give them the sorts of characters they might want to look up to or learn from at some point in their lives. I want to continue to learn and grow as a human being, through the process of writing; and I want to provide resources for other aspiring writers to do the same. Last, I want to spend my life doing something that I love, which is writing. 

2. The genre of the novel you will be working on during this workshop.

For this workshop, I will be working on a humorous story.

3. What is the intensity of your novel? 

My novel will be medium-intensity. There will be a few inside jokes referring to writing and western culture, but it will not be too heavily reliant on them.

4. What is the nature of the conflict in your story?

Though there will be an antagonist, the primary struggle will be man vs self. Both main protagonists will have many antagonistic forces set against them (even one another). But the heart of the struggle will be overcoming their own biases and lack of trust.

5. What are you trying to accomplish with your story?

I'm trying to do a few things. I'm trying to amuse and entertain people. I'm trying to teach about storytelling. I'm trying to address a complicated social/philosophical issue from a moderate perspective. I'm trying to pay tribute to one of my greatest heroes. I'm trying to learn about myself. And I'm trying to learn to be open and accepting of who I really am.

6. Are you writing a Comedy or a Tragedy?

I'm writing a comedy. All the heroes will survive in the end.




Instructions

Type out a full chapter of the book which best reflects the style of the novel you wish to write, and then revise it as described above. Post the one page you feel best reflects the changes you made to the work, along with the original version, in the post. Explain the revisions that you made to the work, as well as why you made them.”

For copyright reasons, please attribute all credit to the original author—including name, edition, publisher, page number, and chapter—and write an introduction in which you explain the educational purpose of the exercise. Also cite Fair Use 1. Text of Section 107 of title 17, United States Code as amended in 1990 and 1992 for the legal right of reproduction for the purpose of commentary and education.

-O-

Bibliographical Credit


Jordan, Robert. Chapter 3The Eye of the World. New York: T. Doherty Associates, 1990. N. pag. Print.

-O-

Exercise

The following is a typed out version of chapter 3 “The Eye of the World” by Robert Jordan. This is not an original work but a one-page excerpt typed out, by hand, for the purpose of commentary and education. I have no desire or intent to try to “improve” the original text, only to alter it in order to learn how to manipulate literary text for different effects and to learn the techniques that Jordan used so brilliantly.

-O-


Chapter 3 – Original Version


"Clusters of pots clattered and banged as the peddler's wagon rumbled over the heavy timbers of the Wagon Bridge. Still surrounded by a cloud of villagers and farmers come from Festival, the peddler reined his horses to a stop in front of the inn. From every direction people streamed to swell the numbers around the great wagon, its wheels taller than any of the people with their yes fastened to the peddler above them on the wagon seat.

The man on the wagon was Padan Fain, a pale , skinny fellow with gangly arms and a massive beak of a nose. Fain, always smiling and laughing as if he knew a joke that no one else knew, had driven his wagon and team into Emodn's Field every spring for as long as Rand could remember.

The door of the inn flew open even as the team halted in a jangle of harness, and the Village Council appeared, led by Master al'Vere and Tam. They marched out deliberately, even Cenn Buie, amid all the excited shouting of the others for pins or lace or books or a dozen other things. Reluctantly the crown parted to let them to the fore, everyone closing in quickly behind and never stopping their calling to the peddler. Most of all, the villagers called for news.

In the eyes of the villagers, needles and tea and the like were no more than half the freight in the peddler's wagon. Every bit as important was word of the outside, news of the world beyond the Two Rivers. Some peddlers simply told what they knew, throwing it out in a heap, a pile of rubbish with which they could not be bothered. Others had to have every word dragged out of them, speaking grudgingly, with a bad grace. Fain, however, spoke freely if often teasingly, and spun out the telling, making a show to rival a gleeman. He enjoyed being the center of attention, strutting around like an under-sized rooster, with every eyes on him. It occurred to Rand that Fain might not be the best pleased to find a real gleeman in Emond's Field.

The peddler gave the Council and villagers alike exactly the same attention as he fussed with tying his reins off just so, which was to say with hardly any attention at all. He nodded casually at no one in particular. He smiles without speaking, and waved absently to people with whom he was particularly friendly, though his friendliness had always been of a peculiarly distant kind, backslapping without ever getting close.

The demands for him to speak grew louder, but Fain waited, fiddling with the small tasks about the driver's seat, for the crowd and the anticipation to reach the size he wanted. The Council alone kept silent. They maintained the dignity befitting their position, but the increasing clouds of pipesmoke rising above their heads showed the effort of it.

Rand and Mat edged into the crowd, getting as close to the wagon as they could. Rand would have stopped halfway, but Mat wriggled through the press, pulling Rand behind him, until they were right behind the Council."


Editing Notes:

So for this particular work, I wanted to learn to emulate Jordan's powers of description. However, for my own novel, I wanted to keep my descriptions more exclusive to details essential to the plot and world building. I also wanted to modernize the structure of paragraphs and sentences a little bit. So below, I made the adjustments I wanted to try to do all of that, while sticking as close to the original content and descriptions as possible. I did this for the entire chapter, but am only posting one page of it for the sake of brevity and avoiding copyright infringement. Note that while that was my goal, your goal may be to change the text less, more, or in wildly different ways than I have in the below sample:


Chapter 3 – Revised Version


"Clusters of pots clattered and banged as the peddler's wagon rumbled over the heavy timbers of the Wagon Bridge. Still surrounded by a cloud of villagers and farmers come from Festival, the peddler reined his horses to a stop in front of the inn. From every direction people streamed to swell the numbers around the great wagon, its wheels taller than any of the people with their eyes fastened to the peddler above them on the wagon seat. The man on the wagon was Padan Fain, a pale , skinny fellow with gangly arms and a massive beak of a nose. Fain, always smiling and laughing as if he knew a joke that no one else knew, had driven his wagon and team into Emodn's Field every spring for as long as Rand could remember.

The door of the inn flew open even as the team halted in a jangle of harness, and the Village Council appeared, led by Master al'Vere and Tam. They marched out deliberately, even Cenn Buie, amid all the excited shouting of the others for pins or lace or books or a dozen other things. Reluctantly the crown parted to let them to the fore, everyone closing in quickly behind and never stopping their calling to the peddler.

Rand and Mat edged into the crowd, getting as close to the wagon as they could. Rand would have stopped halfway, but Mat wriggled through the press, pulling Rand behind him, until they were right behind the Council.

Needles and tea and the like were no more than half the freight in the peddler's wagon. Every bit as important was word of the outside, news of the world beyond the Two Rivers. Some peddlers simply told what they knew, throwing it out in a heap, a pile of rubbish with which they could not be bothered. Others had to have every word dragged out of them, speaking grudgingly, with a bad grace. Fain, however, spoke freely if often teasingly, and spun out the telling, making a show to rival a gleeman. He strutted around like an under-sized rooster, with every eye on him.

Fain gave the Council and villagers alike exactly the same casual attention as he fussed with tying his reins off. He nodded casually at no one in particular. He smiled without speaking, and waved absently to people with whom he was particularly friendly..

The demands for him to speak grew louder, but Fain waited, fiddling with the small tasks about the driver's seat, as the crowd and the anticipation grew. The Council alone kept silent. They maintained the dignity befitting their position, but the increasing clouds of pipesmoke rising above their heads showed the effort of it.

“I had been thinking you were going to stay out on the farm through the whole Festival,” Perrin Aybara said, over the clamor. Half a head shorter than Rand, the curly-haired blacksmith's apprentice was so stocky as to seem a man and a half wide, with arms and shoulders thick enough to rival those of Master Luhhan himself. “Imagine it, Bel Tine and a peddler, both together. I'll be there really are fireworks.” "


-O-



The following is a typed out version of chapter 3 “The Eye of the World” by Robert Jordan. This is not an original work but a one-page excerpt typed out, by hand, for the purpose of commentary and education. I have no desire or intent to try to “improve” the original text, only to alter it in order to learn how to manipulate literary text for different effects and to learn the techniques that Jordan used so brilliantly.

Bibliographical Credit
Jordan, Robert. Chapter 3The Eye of the World. New York: T. Doherty Associates, 1990. N. pag. Print.

Published:
© 2016 - 2021 JosephBlakeParker
Comments8
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Deadblood2020's avatar

Ok, so type out the whole chapter for ourselves, but only post a page of it for the exercise?

JosephBlakeParker's avatar

That was the original intent. However, the group is no longer very active. I just leave it up in case a group of people ever wanted to use it.

Deadblood2020's avatar

Ok makes since, I i'll just do it for my own good then.

ReishaTerrin's avatar
What if the chapters are very long do we have to do a full chapter? 
JosephBlakeParker's avatar
It's for your own benefit, so you do as much as will help you. 
ErosNightleaf's avatar
Thanks for doing an example! It really helps:) Also wonderful book choice may I say.
JosephBlakeParker's avatar
ErosNightleaf's avatar
I must have written five different chapters because I wasn't really sure to what extent I should do it to. Also because I found like no way to improve the amazing book I chose
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In