n
literature

no dear

Daily Deviation
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By jonzoiplu   |   Watch
243 63 6K (1 Today)
Published: April 1, 2011
.







the chimney smoke

      blows like hair

           like love

        like you

in the wind

      its ashen hum

rising through

      the clouds

     my reverend


     heart beats

  a trembling dove

a man without

  love pinned

  to a crux of spine

     dear burden of mine

o father have i sinned


    what fire turned

this bread to stone

    what sent

          my voice

       to roam

without my ribs

    that gnash

      like children

weeping in the gloam


my chest is pried

   a tongueless jaw

with nothing left

   to steal

      or say after

    those words

   how much

      lonelier

   i feel




.
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l'hiver.
(you can't tell the birds and the snow apart in the sky: the grand church of dizzying space - ) and the trees are yellowed in cowardice, raking the sky to the ground and around and around. listen to your organs: the almost grand piano of the churches i'd never attend. and never mistake the courage of the sky for the cowardice of the ground. never frown, never frown. listen to your palms: the salty swing of the old snow burning up on silk and splendor. and visit the dying snow birds in their graves of the ground, and they drown and drown. (you can't tell the birds and the snow apart in the sky: a grand church of dizzying space w
© 2011 - 2019 jonzoiplu
so =zebrazebrazebra asked me to try this exercise for transliteration's musical maps contest, and i'm sharing the process since it's all new to me.

it’s based on a piece called “in the air” from tim hecker’s ravedeath, 1972. some might call it drone music, postmodern accessory, dense hipster shit, et cetera. i figured i’d stab my ears out if i chose pop songs about alien sex (yes, phone home is now a euphemism for sexting).

BACK ON TRACK.

my initial candidates included brian eno and ben frost, but i ended up going with a textural midpoint between the two. i divvied my paper into bars and followed instructions. the scribbles didn’t make immediate sense, but hey, poetry’s about recontextualization. so i lumped the hazy ambience of the song with the visualization resembling a column of smoke, you-reek-uh.

i progressed in a stream-of-consciousness way in relation to the music map, and was left with the key image of a lost heart as martyr/dove/tongue lolling in ash. i tweaked the religious imagery to reflect drone music's spiritual roots and the album's pipe organ rafters; and fiddled with the smoke/consumed heart imagery evoked by the lonely/ascetic/anguished reverb. things came together in the song’s nebulous likeness once i cut the outliers and edited the heavier diction.

at this point, i did more research on the album's production. after laying down the track structure organically, tim hecker started doing a lot of digital editing, adding effects and whatnot. in emulation, i collapsed my analog “voice” on paper into quanta of rhyme by keyboard, then i removed punctuation and capitalization, introducing a certain ambience.

a few edits later, i had the product of an interesting creative process.
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Professional Eulogist
The only dry eye Belongs to the perennial pallbearer. His countenance cold, even in Kelvin. Pine forests falling, Fields somewhere filling with his friends, They're carving out quarries And ghostwriting eulogies. People wonder aloud what's wrong with him. He knows Dionysus drowns more men, Than Poseidon. Venus takes more lives than Mars, Walking on traintracks, Eyes crossed like stars. Hoods up, Heads down. There's no ghosts left in this town. In a real city of angels, In a time called black suit season, Death is a dial tone.
N
Night Chaser
02:37am 22nd July - depart from London by commercial jet, business class. 00:53am 22nd July - arrive in New York an acceptable 7 minutes behind schedule. Slaying an archangel is hard work. It takes a great deal of study, picking your mark, separating fact from legend, learning your target's tells and vulnerabilities. Even if you succeed, and when I tore Gabriel's crystal heart from his open chest I became one of the precious few who have, there is still the matter of retribution. Angels never forget the death of one of their own, and a legion of these creatures now wait to descend and deliver their vengeance. My only sanctuary is the night.
l
l'hiver.
(you can't tell the birds and the snow apart in the sky: the grand church of dizzying space - ) and the trees are yellowed in cowardice, raking the sky to the ground and around and around. listen to your organs: the almost grand piano of the churches i'd never attend. and never mistake the courage of the sky for the cowardice of the ground. never frown, never frown. listen to your palms: the salty swing of the old snow burning up on silk and splendor. and visit the dying snow birds in their graves of the ground, and they drown and drown. (you can't tell the birds and the snow apart in the sky: a grand church of dizzying space w
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Comments (60)
DailyLitDeviations's avatar
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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Vigilo's avatar
Vigilo|Student Writer
Hi - this is just to say, I used the title of your amazing piece in a poem of mine, for #TheTitlePage's contest, over here! If you'd prefer for me not to use it, please let me know, and I'll change it immediately. Thank you! :heart:
Reply  ·  
Nullibicity's avatar
Nullibicity|Hobbyist Writer
This stole my breath! The flow... the words... the concept... you executed it in such a way, I felt speechless upon reaching the end. Then I read the complicated way in which you wrote this? You, sir, are a god :salute:
Ha, no really! If I ever tried to follow that process... I may get a few good lines, but there is no way I could produce such a connection between everything. You introduced a silk flow, too, that made it so easy to just keep reading; I was almost disappointed when I ran out of page!
Fantastic job! I think I really love this because of the creativity behind it. It was a pleasure read, and I thank you for sharing. I'm even more happy with the fact this does indeed possess a DD (: :love:
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HippieHebe's avatar
HippieHebe|Hobbyist Writer
brilliant idea and lovely words
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
So beautiful and rightfully deserving of the DD! :clap:
Congratulations on being so amazing:heart:
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jonzoiplu's avatar
haha, thanks.
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
My pleasure! :la:
Reply  ·  
KaitForest's avatar
it's like a vortex, whipping up potent and striking thoughts
sigh, this is beautiful
Reply  ·  
jonzoiplu's avatar
now i wish it had some kraken in it.
Reply  ·  
TeleportingLemonDrop's avatar
Excellent work, I love the use of rhyme. Very strong imagery, too. Beautiful poem!
Reply  ·  
Sazquch's avatar
Sazquch|Hobbyist General Artist
i enjoyed it immenshley ;D
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KiwiDaBird's avatar
KiwiDaBird|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Mind.Blown.
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jonzoiplu's avatar
only gently.
Reply  ·  
PaniCrusnik09's avatar
Fluid and short but sweet, like a submersible.
Reply  ·  
rober2's avatar
rober2|Professional Writer
Hey, I added this to my favourites as the very first person over a year ago... I liked you better before you went mainstream, now you're just, like, selling out, maaan!

Seriously though, still a great poem. Congratulations on the DD.
Reply  ·  
jonzoiplu's avatar
haha, thanks. they made me an offer i couldn't refuse.

:beer::beer:
Reply  ·  
IyraEMM's avatar
this is better than i thought it would be. got some really good lines here.
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