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JonathanWyke's avatar

doctor destiny, origins p31

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page 31, and the end of book one
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Hello again, Dr. Dee

Very interesting story; I'm intrigued and eager to know more. As always, your art is wonderful, but that's no surprise...I've been impressed by your artwork ever since I first saw your postings on the HERO Board. And here, your dynamic, modern style -- with its vigour and almost-frenetic energy -- suits this style of story perfectly.

I'm impressed by the content of the writing; it's well thought-out and maintains the mood well. And the mood itself? Excellent, gloomy-Gothic-noir in which the few sparks of brightness (the character of Redlight) or humour (Dr. Destiny's red sneakers) are highlighted.

Your characters are also well-developed. Even with the readers only learning fragments of their backgrounds, we still develop a sense that Dr. Destiny and Redlight *are* real people with their own complete stories -- and you manage to suggest that you, as the writer, know all about those stories. You also manage the "voices" of the two male characters very well, keeping them distinctive AND distinct from each other.

There were, however, two points that bothered my about your story...and I'll pass that along too, so as not to appear too much like a complete and utter fan-girl. ;-) No offense intended.

First, no matter *how* evil the villainess/demoness is, the would-be rapists that she murdered at the beginning of the story are NOT sympathetic victims. I can't help feeling that they got what was coming to them, and I find it hard to sympathise with Dr. Destiny' outrage at their deaths; the world is better off without them. Perhaps a truly innocent victim would leave readers feeling less divided in their sympathies?

And second, you use the expression "it's" throughout the story, when what you mean -- from the context -- is "its". It's a fine point of grammar that's often ignored, but I find it very distracting to see. *It's* is a contraction for *it is*, while *its* (no apostrophe) is the possessive of *it*.

If *it* is possessing something, then *its* doesn't take an apostrophe.... Ex] The city is a prison. Despite its shining buildings, it's nothing more than a a high-security gaol for the criminally insane.
JonathanWyke's avatar
thanks for the comments and the extremely well thought out critique

your comments about my grammar are absolutely correct and i bow my head in shame

now, as for Jen. my choice of both her prey and the Doctor's reaction was deliberate. just because the main character followed has his name in the title, it shouldn't automatically follow that he's the hero. the world's not a black and white place, and both main protagonists here are coming at the story blinkered by their own prejudices and perceptions, as is GhostHack's brilliant creation, stolen for this piece, Redlight. i intended the Doc D / Redlight confrontation to be a short, brutal reflection on the main story arc, but i fear that my writing skills don't match my ambition.

i think that there is an awful lot wrong with 'book one', and i regret my decision to allow only a couple of hours to draw each page. that allowed a lot of things to get through that i'd rather hadn't, so with 'book two', should i go on with it, i'll be spending more time on the art and removing my self-imposed deadlines. the goal of the project was to test this style and to see if it worked in a sequencial narrative way. after thirty odd pages i still don't know, but i suspect that my own drawing lends itself to a more static style, which is a shame (for me).

thanks again for reading the piece :D
JOWSOME's avatar
Heya Doc,
I just wanted to say, I'm really liking what I've seen of that comic so far. Redlight struck me as a neat, witty character. Spider-Manesque, but maybe during a bit of his darker days.

And, of course, the doctor himself is a great character. Down to business.

I see what you mean about narrative jumping, moreso in the action scenes. Still, I think the overall story flow is good. You know when to just use a big splash page or not. Overuse of panels (and dialogue) has always been a problem of mine.
JonathanWyke's avatar
thanks for the kind words Jowsome :)

Redlight's not mine - i just borrowed him from GhostHack, and hopefully managed to keep him in character

most of my stuff's single illustration, so the strip was a steep learning curve for me, and hopefully the second one will flow better
AlejandroIsAMinotaur's avatar
GREAT character design.
JonathanWyke's avatar
thanks - she's a bad 'un :D
vp21ct's avatar
oooohhh shit.

Nice work man. Damn that's good.

You prolly hear this all the time, but you should be in the biz for this stuff.
JonathanWyke's avatar
thanks but i'm strictly little league :)

my narrative drawing isn't anywhere near the standard need i don't think, i tend to make jumps in the drawings - more stop-motion than movie. but hey, practice makes perfect...
vp21ct's avatar
*shrugs* I have always felt that comics, at least the really good ones, are an art form. As such each person has their own style. Yours isn't hard to follow at all, though it seems to take more pages to get the same effect. I imagine that any drawn out combat sequence you make would be awesome, though.

In any case I can understand wanting to stay in the small time, but you should probably keep comics in mind if you ever find your self looking for a job.

lol, I'd even let you have my chars
Tarzan216's avatar
/applause

read through them...

very good work <3 the artwork on it, and especially the simple way doc's spells look...

Very talented :)
JonathanWyke's avatar
thanks very much :)
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