johnhmaloney

What's the worst that could happen? I don't want to know, but I think that I'll likely find out, even though I've done all I can and I hope for the best. I just can't help feeling there's something I've missed.

At this point, it seems pointless to even bother sleeping. Before I even realize it, the daylight will come creeping. Forcing me to do something I've scheduled far too early and to grow increasingly, irreparably surly.

Now follow me on this. You receive a promotion in a job you can honestly say you live for. Then, you meet the man/woman/person/barnyard animal/inanimate object of your dreams and not only is the feeling/biological reaction mutual, but he/she/they/it is available and completely and utterly devoid of any and all psychological baggage. Next, a distant relative whom you've only met once for a few hours, but honestly grew to righteously hate in that short period of time, dies and for some inexplicable reason leaves you their fully stocked and staffed two-hundred room mansion in the mountains, or on the beach, or in the woods ... wherever you would

Everything seemed perfect, it just all fit into place. That is, until the day it slowly blew up in my face. I should have know much better, seen it coming from afar, but we never truly understand how blinded that we are by hope and need and every void we just can't seem to fill. However much you feed them, they just get hungrier still. I'd like to think I've finally learned this lesson once again, but I'm sure that I will probably be back here now and then.

Caught unawares and unable to deal with a foolish illusion that I thought was real. A lapse in composure, a loss of control. A lifelong anomaly taking its toll.

And so, at last, we've reached the inevitable end, the destination we've been chasing all along. A bittersweet resolution to everything we've done and now, I guess, it's time to say so long.

You say "hell is other people.", but where do you think you'd be if everyone around you shared your misanthropic view? Without cooperation, in a world of apathy, what exactly is it that you think that you could do?

For so long I was stuck, but then inspiration struck. I found the right idea, at last and now I'm on my way.

Just when I thought that it was over, said and done, something told me that it's only just begun. So I took another shot and tried with all my might, I only hope that it's enough to make things right.

“Hell is other people”, a wise man once did say and from where I'm standing, they can all just go away. No one is an island, but I'm damn sure going to try. They only people I want to know are me, myself and I.