30 Days of Pride Challenge - Day 2
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JocelynSamara's avatar
By JocelynSamara   |   
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Continuing the 30 Days of Pride Challenge. #30DaysOfPride

2. How old were you when you first discovered you were LGBTQ?
Honestly, as far as the whole "being trans" thing goes, I've basically known since my earliest memory (like age 3 or 4). From pretty much day one, I knew I didn't feel right as a boy. I didn't know terminology or anything until we got the internet in my house in my early teens, mind you. The catch is that I was put under the impression very early on that how I felt was "weird" or taboo or whatever. So, I knew how I felt, but I was too afraid to say or do anything about it for most of my life.

Orientation-wise, things were a bit easier for me. I mean, I grew up pretending to be a boy (and I admit I wasn't very good at it), but I always liked girls. Not really much in the way of discovery there. And accepting that I still liked girls through transition wasn't really an issue. I don't know. That just wasn't a problem for me.

That said, I will add that I only started noticing an occasional attraction to men since starting hormone therapy. I don't know if one thing has any connection to the other, but that's when I noticed it. It IS rare though, and although I consider myself panromantic now, my attraction towards men seems to usually be limited to guys who are a bit more femme. (It's also moot since I'm monogamous and happily married to a woman.) XD

Finally, I did NOT pick up on my asexuality until like two years ago. Looking back, the signs were all there, but I think there was some kind of confusion on what the term really meant and perhaps a little bit of denial. XD



Comments21
anonymous's avatar
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thediremoose's avatar
I started to suspect I might be bisexual when I started recalling childhood memories after turning 18 in 2006. I remembered looking at and noticing boys, and how I'd felt differently around my best friend, but disregarded it as "too rare to happen to me" until 2009 when I was talking to my then-girlfriend and she asked me if I was into guys as well. I ended up saying yes as I couldn't just claim otherwise. I've come to realize I was attracted to my best friend since we first met; I just didn't acknowledge what that meant.

Since then, I gradually came out to more and more people until now I'm more or less openly bi. My current girlfriend is both trans and ace, by the way, and for her she just knew she was a girl from the start and never thought of herself as male.
SerraBritt's avatar
SerraBrittProfessional Digital Artist
I grew up in a household which didn't push gender conformity so to be honest I didn't feel uncomfortable with myself until I was teased heavily in 5th grade about being "girly" (I was assigned male at birth).  So I hid that part at school and more or less buried it until I met a transgirl online at age 27, and after doing some research I found that it made a lot of sense that I didn't "feel like a guy".  My parents are very supportive, though my dad has trouble with pronouns at times.  Rest of my family is fine about it...or at least they haven't told me it's a problem :)

Orientation didn't make much sense to me.  I always liked girls.  This was "normal" because I was a "guy".  Looking back, I know there were some guys in high school I liked a lot, and while it's less than girls, I definitely like both.  And since I don't think gender should be a factor, I'd have no issues being attracted to someone who isn't clearly boy or girl.
On2XSecretProbation's avatar
On2XSecretProbationHobbyist Writer
I don't really know what I am...
StreamSecret's avatar
StreamSecretHobbyist General Artist
I really started questioning myself in middle school. I finally accepted my bisexuality in freshman year of highschool. It's weird, but I think it's harder to notice/find out whether you're bi because you're still sorta..."half straight"....so one might ignore any attraction to the same gender unless it becomes more prominent
Starting to wonder now, though, whether I might juuuussst slightly sorta maybe be gender-fluid??? I don't even know.
Daughter-of-ether's avatar
I knew i was trans at about sevenish, though silence of the lambs told me that made me sorta bad.

I discovered i was ace ... well my earliest memories are trying desperately to have one sexuality or another but i didnt accept it until i was into my twenties.

With that, being biromantic was never really a question, but being poly was a confusing and stressful realisation in my late twenties.
stayweirdandloveband's avatar
I find out that I was bi in 2013 when I was in middle school
sailorbard's avatar
Asexuality is a hard concept for me to grasp, as I've always very closely equated romantic urges to sexual urges (probably all that annoying testosterone in my system), and always equated a strong physical attraction to a strong romantic attraction.

As I got older though, I realized I ONLY got "attracted" as it were to someone I was deeply in love with.   What do they call someone who only gets physical urge in the presence of a strong emotional bond?
Bladeheart777's avatar
That is called Demisexual. You only feel sexual urges if you have developed a strong emotional/mental bond with someone. 

As for the first part: I, much like Jocelyn, am Ace. I still get into relationships with people, however, I just don't experience sexual attraction. Now, that isn't to say that my bits just don't work, they do (leading to some awkward moments when I have to get up and have a tent in my pants), I just don't get aroused by looking at someone's body, or even thinking about them. Basically, I just don't have sexual urges.
LyndonBright's avatar
LyndonBrightHobbyist Traditional Artist
I never questioned my gender nor my sexuality when I was younger. Yes, I was a lot more boyish than the other girls, I liked what the boys liked, and got on better with boys than girls. But I wasn't unhappy as a girl either, and there are a lot of feminine things I still enjoy, like shopping and wearing pretty clothes and makeup. In my early preteens I began to question my sexuality after being exposed to LGBTQ stuff online. I was still fairly certain I was straight, though. A while later I began to learn about trans, and wondered a lot if that was me. I definitely would have preferred to have been born male, I love getting misgendered, but I wasn't hung up on it enough to want to transition. In recent years, I got my first real crush on a girl, making me realize I was bisexual (leaning more to straight). After a lot of looking around I started hearing terms like gender queer, gender fluid, non-binary, etc. I wondered for a while if I was a mix (identifying as neither gender), but that didn't seem right. I was always in touch with either one side or the other, not both. So I realized I qualified as gender fluid. I'm not overly concerned with either term, I don't experience dysphoria or anything. I'm just happy to understand who I am a little better.
Undertaker972's avatar
I've known i was a crossdresser since i was around 12. Of course, i was not very smart at that age and did a lot of stupid stuff (playing around with makeup, dressing up, etc.) and this continued until i was 16 and got caught by my mom. Her reaction was less than stellar. I quit dressing up for a while but eventually got back into it, until i got caught again at 18. i pretty much stopped after that but over the years, i did my research. i dont want to be a woman, i just like dressing like one. As for sexuality, i always believed i was straight. but recently, ive begun to question that a bit. i still dont want to have sex with guys, but i may be bi-romantic. This is the first time ive admitted that, even to myself
dawnflower8's avatar
dawnflower8Student General Artist
I figured out I was asexual basically because I am still just as disgusted with the idea of having sex as I was in elementary school and am actually quite scared of it.
Aromantic since I've never had crushes, been attracted to anyone, or had a desire to be married.
Dorucario's avatar
I was in early to mid High School, 9th or 10th grade.  That was when I figured out I was Bi, the rest came later.  Ashamed to say that I figured out I was Bi almost 10 years before figuring out I'm also Trans and Demisexual.

Guess I shoulda known I was demi for quite a bit longer since the signs for that were there.  I had the same crush all the way from elementry through high school, and then I didn't really fall in love with anyone else until I had already formed a connection with someone online.  Guess part of it was also not knowing that Demisexual was even a thing until I consciously acknowledged that I'm trans.

As far as actually knowing I was trans... in a way I knew my whole life somewhere deep down.  Just not entirely consciously until more recently.  At age 5 I had put up barriers in my mind out of fear, and lived with a false male persona where I was scared of being true to myself most of my life because of the bullies.

The fear started when I went into the girl's restroom in Kindergarden and the bullies started making fun of me for it.  Being girly was what bullies picked on me for the most through school, any time I would just try to be myself.

I'm not scared anymore though.
CaldoRosa's avatar
CaldoRosaHobbyist General Artist
I started questioning my identity since 2015. I started doing research on the internet and it gave me a clearer idea of who I really am.

I had crushes with girls but in mid 2015 I've got my first boy crush (that's for biromantic). I can see myself being romantically involved with a girl and/or boy.

As of now, I see myself being more sexually attracted to guys than girls. Sometimes, in the gym, I peek at the men's dressing room to see a naked guy.

At the end of January, I questioned my gender as well, but that discussion went nowhere when I discovered that I would rather be more feminine than being an actual girl. But I sometimes enjoy crossdressing
the-real-wolf-spider's avatar
I've known I was 'odd' as i initially thought of it for a long time.   It led to an interest in werewolves and other ideas that I could use as metaphors for who I was.  I started getting a better idea of who I was when I was 16. Though I didn't fully come around to being genderqueer until last year and honestly I am still figuring myself out a bit.  Sexually hasn't been much of a confusion.  I have always liked women.  Romantically, I am not very discriminatory.  Usually it seems more based on how expressive an open they are with emotions which is probably why a lot of my crushes have been musicians.  So I would say panromantic.
LauraRola's avatar
LauraRolaHobbyist General Artist
I typed up a big explanation on my tumblr, which I now link here.

Short version: Late bloomer of sorts, came out to myself in high school and really didn't have the right terminology till then.
erdood's avatar
I discovered that I was gay in may 2015
Krusing13's avatar
I would not consider myself LGBTQ but I am highly supportive to anyone who is LGBTQ. So question should I take part in 30 days of pride or is this just for LGBTQ?
FenrirDarkWolfe's avatar
FenrirDarkWolfeStudent General Artist
When I was in 5th grade, around 10 years old, I started having all kinds of boy crushes, being super eager to please and wanting their attention and whatnot.
It wasn't until High School I realised I was gay, and, honestly, it figured, and I was okay with it. Ended up telling my grandmother and she told everyone else.
AshleyRex's avatar
Umm, I guess I always kinda knew that I was different, but It never really clicked that I was trans until I hit puberty... Reguarding my asexuality, that is something I figured out rather quickly in middle school, and my pan-romanticism, I figured out only recently, after a few um, you could call them trial relationships?
TheEasternEmpress's avatar
TheEasternEmpressHobbyist General Artist
I figured out my gender identity at 14. Never felt like I was in the right body. Parents have been... Less than stellar.

Sexuality-wise, probably 13 or younger I figured I was bisexual, but at 15 I found Pansexual a more suiting term.

I'm polygamous...
anonymous's avatar
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