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My heart hurts right now, I just can't make it go away.  I can help other people and make them feel better but my own heart still hurts.  It feels like it's burning.  An unquenchable fire in my chest eating me alive from the inside.  I can never have the one I love, and the ones I want and love never want me back.  But I'm a fool who can't help feeling that way.

Whenever someone needs help, when they are hurting and feel bad, I'm always there.  I imagine it like I'm sucking out the poison when I talk to them, I take it all out and they're all better again.  Unfortunantly I've taken in all the poison now, and it's me who hurts instead.  But I don't show it, never can, cause if I do they'll stop coming to me for help, and they'll end up staying hurt, I can't do that.  And the poison never kills me, never is able to stop me.  It hurts like hell and only stirs up the burning inside, but I'd hurt even worse if they hurt.

I can't help being who I am, I can't change and stop feeling the way I do.  My heart aches to have the love and life you see in the movies.  To have someone who just completely is perfect for you and you for them.  Someone who loves you just as much as you love them, and loves in all the ways that love is.  Someone that can help me too.  But if I ask, and I talk, then things will change, they'll have to, and then you won't be able to look at me the same.  Anyways, I'm not there to talk about me.  I'll be fine, I always am, or at least, you won't know I'm not.

I hate to say it, and I never will, but I need help.  I need the pain to go away.  I need the poison to be drained.  I need the fire to be put out.  I need someone to love who loves me.  I need someone to talk to.


I need you...
Another "poem" (not really, but not sure what else to call it) I wrote a little while ago (About Sept. 2004). Yeah it's does sound a little emo-ish, but it was more of just a statement of fact and not a "woe is me" kind of poem.

Anyways, that about clears the ledger of all the old stuff I've written, with the exception of my ill-fated book that I got about 50 pages into and never finished. Oh well. Hopefully someday soon I'll get back into writing again, it's definitely something I enjoy but just never have the time for anymore.
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January 2, 2008
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