Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been around lately. So things are going okay in my life. Lately I have been very lazy when it comes to my artwork. Work has been getting me down and I really need to get my spirits uplifted here and in order for me to do that, I have to get myself back into the swing of things again and start really doing my artwork. I would like to do that and it is something that I must start again or else I will drive myself crazy. Now I also need an awesome community that I can be a part of. Deviant Art can be an awesome community, at least that is what I keep hearing but to be completely honest, I really don't know how to play the game here. It seems like when I post artwork I get faves a bit and a couple of comments witch is good but sometimes I really wold like more feedback other than 'good job' or 'keep up the good work' comments.
You see, i've come to realize that I do my artwork for myself but I also do my artwork for everyone around here as well. I like the feedback I get when I post something up and it makes me feel good inside when I see that a lot of people like my artwork and I keep going. I always like to set goals for myself. I was doing awesome a few months back with drawing a lot for almost a year. But after I moved, I seemed to have lost that drive and now I have found myself in a slump that I am having problems in getting myself out of. I don't know why I keep finding myself in these slumps but sometimes writing these long little rants that I sometimes do gets me out of it. I would write it in just a notebook I have at home but sometimes doing this publicly and getting some feedback will help me even more. My mind is crazy like that and so this is what I am doing.
I guess this is yet another promise to me and another affirmation to myself that I will not disappear from this world. I will always be here as long as I am breathing and I will be trying to do my artwork. Even though I might have come to the realization that is is always going to be a hobby for me and I probably will never make this into a career. If by chance if it does take that route then I will take that opportunity but right now I think I have decided to stop looking at this as a career path for me and Just go with it as a hobby. But as a hobby that I take very seriously! I mean I know in my blood that deep down inside that I am an artist. I always will be an artist! I love all aspects of art! I appreciate it when I see it in all forms. I love coming on Deviant Art and just browsing the recent postings on the front page and what shows up in my inbox from all the people whom I follow. And for those few people who follow me, Love you guys and I love the art you post. Everything I see on Deviant Art gives me inspiration that I can't find anywhere else and sometimes I wonder where your all getting this inspiration that I have trouble tapping into.
I guess I might be crying for help in a strange way. Maybe I am helping myself already by writing this, but I can always use some more help. I lead a pretty boring life. I get up and go to work. I come home and sometimes I am tired from the day that I just sometimes sit in front of the television with my family and watch what they are watching or I get on the computer and just start playing games and veg out till it's time to go back to bed. When it comes to the weekends, I usually spend it catching up on things that I have to get done from the week that I didn't have time to get done or was to tired to get done. Sometimes life sucks and I am making an excuse now. I should just stop making excuses and start again and just do it. I need to start changing my thoughts and start living an awesome life. But where do I start is the question. I live a life that is kind of boring. How does a person keep living everyday. Where does a person find the drive to even get out of bed every morning and participate in this gruelling game we call life? Sometimes I tire of it and just want to stay in be and quit my job and live as a hermit for the rest of my life but I know I can't do that either. I need social interaction form people. I love my wife and family. They are the drive that does keep me living on this big rock that floats in space that God created for what reasons I am not to sure but to be tested for something. Ah that is a different subject... Or is it?
Anyway, if you have gotten this far in reading this rant that I have written, I congratulate you. Have I gotten closer into finding myself yet? I have a little. I would like your feedback if you like. This ranting has mede me feel better about my life and is keeping me going. I still have some more soul searching that I have to complete. Will I ever finish my soul searching? Maybe or maybe not but in the meantime, I think I will go and give some drawing a try and see where that might take me. Life is taking one step at a time and finding a goal that we all are working towards to improve ourselves. I just hope I get there soon.