Hey, guys, it's Valentine's Day again. Or as I call it, Thursday. Now I was going to go into full Bah Humbug mode and either razz and talk trash about the holiday or at least blow it off. But nope. I'm here to stand up for it a little with a...
JIMMYDIMPLES dA JOURNAL POLITICAL RANT.
Or rather, a NON-Political Rant. It'll make sense, just read on.
Earlier when I woke up, I listened to KC O'Dea in the Morning. And he clued me into something called Post-Trump Sex Disorder.
Yes, this actually is a thing. www.foxnews.com/health/preside…
According to this, some folks can't enjoy their companionship because Trump is President.
Now, look. Let me paint this scenario, guys. Let's say you've found this lovely lady. She's kind, she's sweet, she's giving, she's humorous, she's sporting a lovely fragrance, she's got beautiful eyes, she's got high cheekbones, she's got wavy, soft hair, she's got curves and plushness in all the right places, she's she's got a monstrously HUGE...
..."Weird Al" Yankovic CD collection.
And finally, after you've both gone out to a wonderful movie and a sumptuous supper, you're about to drop her off at her place like the gentleman you are. But then she wants you to come in for a quick cup of coffee before you leave.
She has you wait on the couch while she ducks in the kitchen to get the coffee maker ready, and to... slip into something more comfortable. As you wait, you wonder why you don't hear anything much brewing in there. And about fifteen minutes later... she enters the room in a pretty sheer long nightshirt. And that's it.
She approaches, sits down beside you, and then she drapes her arms around your neck, cozies up to you, pulls you toward herself with a strength that you didn't know she had, presses her chest against you, and pulls your lips just a fourth of an inch from hers. And she's ready for you to give her a hug, or kiss, or... well, you fill in the blank.
And then you say...
"...no. I can't. I'm not in the mood... because that $%&*+/?! is in office!!
"SAID NO. ONE. EVER.
Speaking personally, I'm quite celibate and unattached. But if I had the blessing, joy, privilege and wonderful gift to have a sweetheart as my one-and-only, and she was okay with our sharing close hugs, kisses, undying loyalty, and that wonderful thing called LOVE... politics would be nowhere in the same hemisphere just then!
And if you can't get the other political party out of your head long enough for that... please. Get help. Talk to a friend. See a pastor or therapist. All sincerity and no sarcasm here. You can't possibly be happy this way.