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I have so much aviation related stuff to post, it's not even funny... and a few updates for characters are on the way as well, they're not new, but I need to edit some stuff for a new forum. I wanna get back into writing. Too much of my time is spent working. Flight ops and load planning is fun, but I need to keep my creativity in check too...

Busy busy busy, but im still alive...

Journal Entry: Mon Mar 3, 2014, 5:03 PM
Well, in case anyone's wondering, yes I'm still alive x3. I just haven't been on DA or Skype that much. Mostly, RL has been keeping me busy one way or another. i finally got another job, though it may not be the best at least it's something. Tumblr roleplays have been keeping me glued to Tumblr-specifically as Dredd. I've added some pages of various sorts there, so if anyone wants to follow me on Tumblr, do check out my pages! I'm sorry to say that ive drifted from forum roleplaying. The plus side of Tumblr is that it notifies me of updates immediately.

Most of my pages can be found under a post on my personal blog:… blogs

I will try to share some of my latest stuff soon, which will mostly be various photos, digital art, and some jewelry.

Some personal career updates!

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 14, 2013, 10:33 PM

So thought I’d share that I have some new plans! 

Instead of wasting a lot of money adding on more helicopter ratings and getting a Master’s degree, I’m going to get an aircraft dispatcher’s license. What I make now is better than what I’ve ever made before now that I finally work full time, but I need more if I want to have more money to save and spend bi weekly. I’m quickly learning how to manage things but my limit is restricted because of the amount I actually get to keep once you factor in the taxes and benefits. 

Going to the local career academy for my certificate is much cheaper than getting a Master’s degree or adding on ratings in an R44 and getting a commercial license, etc. So I’m going to do that next year 2014 in the summer or fall. I wont have to waste so much time in school and itll be 100% aviation related material so there will be no excuse for me to feel burned out if I honestly enjoy it.

My plan is to first see about eventually transferring within NAC OR moving up the ranks in Technical Publications (I do like my job so far i just hope they like how i do things and see that im a quick learner and motivated). I like the company and want to expand my experiences in aviation. This is the best way for me to do that, because I’ve always been interested in aircraft dispatching, which I couldn’t do at University of Alaska, Anchorage. The career academy is the only place that offers it.

Money isn’t everything but Jetta needs more of it >D.

I’m starting to look for places under a certain price range that allows me to have one or two roommates I trust so hopefully I can move out by January <3. I loves my job! I get to edit and update manuals all dayyy~.


Journal Entry: Sun Jul 7, 2013, 3:38 AM

Finally uploading a lot of stuff from my trip. I'm really happy with how a lot of my macro photos turned out. I have way too much to share EVERYTHING, but ill post the stuff i see as worth putting up. Got some panoramas to share as well, been more into making those lately because its so easy to do on my phone. My digital camera, however, is great for macros.

Oh, also! I got KI2T in the mail this week! He is about a foot long with working lights, scanner sound effects, and dashboard lights!  <3 <3 <3 

I love having more money. 

Still trying to update DA...but im still stumped as to how to fully decorate my gallery pages and stuff, even though Katt gave me the code.

DC-01 80th Anniversary!

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 1, 2013, 8:52 PM

So apparently today is the 80th Anniversary of a plane called a DC-1. I have quoted the following from a group I'm a member in. Pretty cool. If i remember right the DC series aircraft has been one of the longest running and maintained cargo and passenger aircraft since 1935 (as stated below). Theyve had to go through so many standards as per required by the FAA. They may not be as big as the more popular 737s but they still do well for those that keep them running! 

It was exactly 80 years ago (July 1st, 1933) that the DC-1 first flew. An innovative airplane, it surpassed the expectatives of TWA, and was the great foundation of what would be the DC-3 just a couple of years later.  Happy birthday, DC-1!!! Father of our beloved DC-3

From Wikipedia:

Development of the DC-1 can be traced back to the 1931 crash of TWA Flight 599, which suffered a structural failure of one of its wings, probably due to water which had over time seeped between the layers of the wood laminate and dissolved the glue holding the layers together. Following the accident, the Aeronautics Branch of the US Department of Commerce placed stringent restrictions on the use of wooden wings on passenger airliners.  Boeing developed an answer, the 247, a twin engined all-metal monoplane with a retractable undercarriage, but their production capacity was reserved to meet the needs of United Airlines, part of United Aircraft and Transport Corporation that also owned Boeing. TWA needed a similar aircraft to respond to competition from the Boeing 247 and they asked five manufacturers to bid for construction of a three-engine, 12-seat aircraft of all-metal construction, capable of flying 1,080 mi (1,740 km) at 150 mph (242 km/h). The most demanding part of the specification was that the airliner would have to be capable of safely taking off from any airport on TWA's main routes (and in particular Albuquerque, at high altitude and with severe summer temperatures) with an engine failed.

Donald Douglas was initially reluctant to participate in the invitation from TWA. He doubted there would be a market for 100 aircraft, the number of sales necessary to cover development costs. Nevertheless, he submitted a design consisting of an all-metal, low-wing, twin-engine aircraft seating 12 passengers, a crew of two and a flight attendant. The aircraft exceeded the specifications of TWA even with two engines. It was insulated against noise, heated, and fully capable of both flying and performing a controlled takeoff or landing on one engine.

Don Douglas stated in a 1935 article on the DC-2 that the first DC-1 cost $325,000 to design and build.

So I'm running into new problems...
The first is that I'm running out of time in a day to do the stuff online i like to do because I'm working full time now.

The other is related to RPing. Lately its just at a horrible low point because the places I have available to post are so scarce now. In a way I've been debating about dropping it all together. I don't bother roleplaying on DeviantART because it takes too much work and I don't see the point. There are far too many characters that can't be claimed or people are too busy. Things are slow on Tumblr as well, so I dont know what else to do. I might start writing fanfictions some more and work on other things because it's just wearing me out. If it's not fun anymore why bother? All the kinds of characters I've been wanting to RP with on Tumblr havent said a word and I'm still waiting for stuff to happen on some of the forums. 

I'm not pointing fingers at everyone. I'm busy, and so are others. I miss the active Knight Rider group I used to have, but that is barely active as well. There is one more forum I might give a shot at, but if that doesn't work out, I think I'm done. I'm tired of keeping TFP:FS alive when people aren't putting in their own effort, and i have threads that still need to be finished just about everywhere.
Sooo I'm gonna be upgrading to a premium account from now on and I hope to keep it that way. A lot of construction will occur in the next week or so as I have time in the evenings. Any good suggestions as far as page and blog customization goes? Obviously thinking about doing something Knight Rider related for my journals. Unless I change my mind and do aviation instead. Which would you like to see?
I shall post a few photos and digital art here and there as I have time (i is working now at the company i was hoping to work for). Been too busy to be on here that much. So this be a short entry xP
Just a few updates and ramblings because it's been ages since I posted a blog on here. I've been addicted to Tumblr and been busy with personal things, such as job searching. Well after two interviews I slowed down but am gonna get back into it within a day or two. I had two very prompt calls from some applications so hopefully I strike some luck with a full time job. I'm really excited about one of them, and I should hear back tomorrow or Friday. Thus I really don't want to continue applying until tomorrow. It took my bf up to a year to find a good job so I hope to the gods it doesn't take that long...I really want something before the fall. I just have one class left that I'm hoping I have a good tutor for this time.

My trip isn't just a vacation, I'm going to Torrance CA for a Robinson helicopter safety course, as required by my flight school before I continue on as a Private Pilot. Then I can fly people around, yay! I'm studying for my first annual flight review and will hopefully pass it this Sunday, it consists of an hour talking on the ground being quizzed various things, and an hour flight. Need to get into a better study mode tomorrow too...which is another reason why im kinda putting off job hunting a bit. I can't do too many things at once otherwise productivity just goes down the drain.

If I get the job I REALLY want, I'm considering getting the car of my dreams in no more than a year or two (a Dodge Challenger). It depends on what I decide to do about my current vehicle, because I want to have something more reliable for the winter as well. I'm very much attached to my Ford Escape and am willing to pay all costs necessary to do a full tune up if the transmission were to die 4,000 miles or more later, get new struts, brake pads, etc. it's still cheaper than buying an SUV and possibly paying off two vehicles...but we'll see. I just hope I get the job I want first. They said they'd call back the end of the following week.
BA 490
Case Study #1

Technology advancements in many areas have become a daily part of life for a long time now. Even more so, technology develops at an even faster rate in more well-known developed companies. Technology and the user-based ethics tied to it should be a focus for all industries.  Businesses of all sizes, federal or not may very well be monitoring your emails on your work computer. Nowadays, even smart phones dedicated to on the job communication can monitor emails, and click through rates such as those on Google AdWords and other keyboard/swipe/touch screen functions (Rose, Principles of Marketing pg 257). This may cause some increased level of paranoia to the cautious, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. The uneducated are those that are likely to get caught in the downsides of technology.

Technology and ethics should train those to be wary of just how much hackers and other manipulative users can get away with in hopes to protect themselves and their computers from those types of people. Email ethics is an important thing to be familiar with, whether or not you are a smart phone user.

Technology has a broad range of categories, and each type of technology considered, whether it's the future of aviation technology, automotive technology, or computer related technology, every company tied to any one of these types needs to know how to manage their technology in an ethically responsible way. Not surprisingly, smart phones have key stroke monitoring mechanisms of their own which users should be wary of.

Google is an example with both good and bad features. Google is well known for many things: for the most part, they have a positive reputation, are highly innovative, and are profitable. However, it seems that Google may be straying down its path a little. Since it is powered by some of the popular smart phones, it may be contributing to tracking behavioral activities via database searches, which can even be traced live by clicks from each user using Google, whether it's the search engine or Google+, or some other feature. "The real threat is that Google, or perhaps just a few people within the leadership of Google, may be quietly operating as a private intelligence agency for the left…Imagine how much more could be learned if Google's computer algorithms combined not only search data but also all of the data they get by  reading everything written in or sent to Gmail and whatever you store on Google docs and Google Drive. Then imagine what Democratic voter data groups like Catalist (which launched as a for-profit operation, allowing it much more latitude in working with outside groups….or companies) could do with that data." (Howe, 2013) Arguably this is not per se an invasion of privacy or security, but it can be a concern for anyone not supportive of current political endeavors.

Is it right for the Obama campaign to use technology in such a way? Advertising is one thing, but search data is another, and I would argue against that regardless of what party I support. It doesn't matter whether you are loyal to the left or right, rather I implore the reader to re-consider what they want to be seen when and where, at home or at work.

Consider which emails and accounts are supported by Google versus Yahoo. Sure Yahoo collects search entries and the like, but they do not use it in this way from what I know of. I think Google's involvement in this leans towards the unethical side, unless one supports them in this way (which I would find hard to believe) it seems like an unwanted thing that the Whitehouse is doing just to get more data about any Google users, particularly Google+ users as well. Of course they're not going to catch every single search or email you send, but the fact that its floating out there possibly left to their disposal on something personal is unsettling. Of course Google isn't the only search engine that can do this, other social networks (many know this very well) give a great source of information.

Thus especially when at work, pay attention to what emails you access, even from your phone; designate alternate emails for different purposes. While businesses will not monitor personal phones and emails, be sure you are comfortable with providing a professional email you are willing to share with others. Keep your work email content on a level that you feel neutral about or which won't make you feel paranoid; use other emails for purchases and social contact. One does not have to stop using Google, but after reviewing this article, beware that there are very crafty people out there that will use any and all information to their advantage in one way or another.


Howe, Ben, Google The Democrat's Private Intelligence Agency, 2013 Retrieved from…

Rose, Mei, Principles of Marketing, pg 527, 2012
apparently the FAA is on a hiring freeze as of March. Just my luck. Guess I'll have to pursue my flight dispatching option and hope that I can make time to look for jobs in a week or two. Really bummed about that - the FAA is a federal organization with a good reputation and good roles to offer, I wanna be able to make a difference through them some day...but I guess that's farther in the future than I would hope. Gotta take what life hands to ya though :/. That only adds to the intense pressure I already have.

School is driving me nuts but I'm trying to stick with it. Just means I havent had much time for job searching >.<. Hopefully ill find some time...
  • Listening to: The Prodigy
So I encountered two more cases where people have expressed how highly they think of me. One of those comments I found here from a long-time internet friend, the other from a friend in Texas I also used to have a crush on whom I never had a chance to get to know that well because well...he probably judged me and decided I wasn't cool enough back then or was just too distracted with others to bother giving me a chance. His loss, but I must say I'm honored by the things he said to me recently.

"...Of all the folks I keep track of/in touch with from back in the day YOU are the most self actualized. I knew you a decade ago and you wanted to fly. Now you do. You seem to have a good man and a good job. For someone I only kind of got to know, I'm really surprised how often you're in my thoughts."

I guess some people realized what they missed well after I left Texas, but I find it flattering that they like the current me judging from Facebook updates alone. It really does boost my self confidence. Maybe I really am approaching that self-actualization stage in my life. I know for a fact I crave more knowledge and more well...everything that life has to offer. All the things that are needed to be considered self-actualized. I really appreciate it that people still think of me, it kind of makes me miss what I left, but I don't regret it - I have everything I need here. Some day I will go back and visit my other home, but I sooo don't want to move. Right now, I should have enough opportunities to get my career going here and not have to worry about moving. I have no reason to consider leaving my stakes behind as of now, and I'm enjoying what I do have at my disposal.

Recently I got to say hello to two of my teachers, whom are married and one of which just retired this Friday. The wife was the lady I interned with this summer. I discovered that one of other ladies I got to know and have as a reference now as well is the wife of a teacher I've had in a class last semester and now this semester as well, but in the summer I never knew I was going to meet them. Another lady that worked with scheduling and planning had nice things to say about me and one of my good friends as well, and I told her Im going to be inquiring about jobs soon. My future does seem promising however, I'm a little worried about the job aspect...I have a better chance in the aviation regime than any other though, so I shouldn't worry too much yet. I just need to do some snooping here soon by Spring break and maybe ill feel better.

One thing I've been thinking about lately (a given from my previous journals) is religion - been poking around a little here and there regarding the Wicca and Pagan religion and am liking what i see, not because of what it is per se but because of their principles. My bf said he met a Wicca once and noticed the difference. He and I feel the same way about Christianity, too...Recently I've become disgruntled, in many ways DISGUSTED with several points about Christianity and the aspects of church itself. No one can change the disappointment I feel now. I told him that I feel almost embarrassed that I grew up in a religion that has such a need to dominate. Some Christians cannot fully accept just how much damage the religion has done in past wars n issues in the present. I cant even accept an invitation to Bible studies on campus, it just irritates me. I have not made any final decisions on the matter yet, I probably wont for at least a year, but this is another aspect that is changing in me as I grow more and read more, even if it is bad news that I am turning on the religion I was raised with. I'm loosing the passion and unity I should have, never felt quite in synch to begin with honestly. So...we'll see what the future has to offer. I'm glad that I have met a few Pagans to tell me their stories, and I'm beginning to better understand why they believe what they believe. I admit, lately I've been feeling a lot like the way Teal'C from Stargate SG1 does...

1.) You must post these rules and the list below.
2.) You must answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then make 10 new questions for your tagged people.
3.) You choose 10 people to tag AND post their icons in your journal so all the world will know who they are.
4.) <New> Add your name to the list at the bottom. All you need to do it copy/paste it and add your name to the beginning.
5.) You have to go to their pages and tell those that you tagged that you tagged them.
6.) No tag backs!
7.) No "if your reading this your tagged" stuff either.
The List
This tag was tracked all the way to July 7th 2012 to a deactivated account. This tag has gone through more than 75 DA accounts before me. Lets keep it going, add your name to the beginning of the list below.
Jetta-Windstar, Leathurkatt-TFTiggy, Snowland316, SilverVulpine, WindInTheCoffeeCup, KTlasair, RadioactiveRuno, Jennidash, balthazar147, RamenWolf1485, Kdogfour, TricoloreOne77, roweniichan, ripperlady, n3kos-owo, xzael, loveanimenmangalots, rias-chan, evilinsideofmegirl, coughnarutardcough, pikarinnysuki, shanti8888, Keksix3, kimimaro888, xvillareynax, bronzedragon800, vdangers, starfireblue, IvoryMoonn, 666kurai, frenzydaydreamer11, MelyTail, linklink43, vanillasuu, fizzycoke, indigodreams100, 1meh8, tygermane, artisticallyliterate, zirahz, mscatnipz, zaya06, unknown-knowledge, boro235, liano4ka, scgm, frances095, yumiofdoom, vanellopepower, kittycutelover, owostrawberry, bkl-pokemon-trainer, hobobroccoli, dilka-tigz, musicloveseveryone, faehime, ladynefertari, PokemonPrincess1993, MrCrazy4621, ShinyPichuBros2012, changeformatt, omgkeswickoverload, ask-tith, petpettails123, luigigal24, Kirby456, samthehedgehog7890, trggirl, CaprihinaGirl, Nintendonerd1348, mjlover15, lostloveartist87, afataltouch, iluvdgaarab4udid, baby-delcatty2810, artisticallyderpy, daawsomeone, o-belarus-o, meowchan321, unknowngirll.
1. What is your favourite part of being in a fandom (doesn't matter what fandom it is)?
Awesome fan art?

2. What is your least favourite part of being in a fandom (doesn't matter what fandom it is)?
I guess the less sensible pairings first and foremost. Such as some of the pairings in red vs blue on random one shot fic challenges such as Sarge x South Carolina. As well, I've heard Ratchet x Starscream a couple of times...sorry, no offense to those supporting it but - no, just no. As an RPer of both on one of the two TF sites I'm on, no~ ...and the fact that people make "Ponified" versions of many things these days...idk, just never got into THAT particular fandom.

3. What are your top three favourite fandoms (not including Transformers)?
Stargate SG1, Knight Rider, and Red vs Blue

4. Who are your top three favourite characters (not including Transformers)?
KITT, Jack O'neill, and Allison Texas (i have several others but those are the primary)

5. Pick your favourite genre - Science Fiction (involves high technology and/or aliens), Fantasy (involves magic and monsters), Historical Fiction (based in historical settings, no magic and such), Modern Fiction (includes most modern shows you see on TV like police dramas and such), Non Fiction Documentaries (strictly the facts)?

6. Which do you prefer - Traditional hand drawn cell animation or Computer Generated Imagery?
Either, both have their qualities and both can take lots of time.

7. Do you prefer watching TV Series, TV Miniseries (a story broken up into 3 to 10 parts and made into TV movies), Movie Series (multiple movies with the same characters), or Stand Alone Films (single movies with no sequels or prequels)?
TV series or movies. Its hard to keep up with TV series but when i get into one I cant stop.

8. If you can choose any single novel or novel series to be made into a movie or TV series, what book or books would you choose?
WELL i would say Ender's Game by Orson Card but apparently that is already being made into a movie - proposed to be by sometime in 2014 if i remember right. If not that, well, I think the Weather Warden series by Rachel Cain would make an awesome movie series or TV show. If you dont know much about it, look it up. It's got decent characters, and a really cool setting: a mix between the modern world and magic within the modern world. The main character is a kick ass weather warden - aka mage.

9. If you could write any book, what genre would the setting be?
A mix of fantasy and sci fi. Yes, fantasy and magic in a futuristic setting...the best of both worlds in a balance.

10. Would you want to publish it mass market or keep it to just a few close friends?
If it was popular enough, i'd be happy to make the extra  money. Who knows, maybe someday.

MY questions:
1.) What top three OCs are your favorite, no matter how old or new? Describe three of them and explain why you like them, and maybe one or two of their flaws.
2.) Of these OCs, or even based on other choices, which OCs are MOST like you? Preferrably this a question with no secrets, but should one of the reasons for one of the OCs be something a little personal, you dont have to share.
3.) What types of characters do you tend to be drawn to in movies, books, animes, and TV shoes?
4.) Would you take the red pill or the blue pill?
5.) How often do you like to use the DA blogs, do you prefer it over other blogging types - if so, any reason why?
6.) Since I am in a Negotiations class right now, out of curiosity, what is your negotiating style? Critique it a little, do you think it could use any improvement?
7.) This is a topic floating around of late, do you think civilians should keep their right to own assault weapons (particularly ones with magazines more than ten rounds)?
8.) What's your favorite type of aircraft? You can be specific down to the make and model number.
9.) What forms of writing do you enjoy the most and why? This includes roleplaying with others.
10.) What do you think your weaknesses are in terms of art or writing whether its professional and/or DA-based?

I tag:
:iconteazuko:, :iconcatalystspark:, :iconi-am-imaginary:, :iconstormhalt:, :iconirobashi-chronicles:, :iconcrystal-rose1981:, :iconmjolnir13621:, :iconautobottundra:, :iconsuladent:
I'm temporarily moving out. I wish it was a permanent deal but alas its not. I'm moving back onto campus for my last full semester of school because I have five classes. Thank god though, I get ultimate freedom and peace and quiet. Though ill be on a budget, I will have a lot of access to food, and will be closer to everything! I'm saving my old gal Sadi (my SUV) some trips by taking the shuttle every week to classes.

On top of that news, my bf is gone to work at Delta Junction every two weeks. But the bonus is he's off every two weeks. It'll be tough to get used to especially while I'm in schooling but at least I should be able to stay focused. I never thought I would miss someone so much but I guess I've surprised myself there. I miss him immensely, but have some how gotten through the first week he's been gone so far.

School starts next week but I hope to have a few photos up before then from stuff over xmas break. Otherwise, who the hell knows how much ill be on here, I'll be more interested in trying to post on the forums with what little time i have available. I've got two more events to work, then I'm getting a new keyboard and will start gradually upgrading my digital system. I'm borrowing my brother's monitor for school. Hopefully before the next dividend I will be able to get my own monitor so I can play my xbox in my own room as well as get other pc work done with a nice large monitor even while my bro is here.

Luckily all that i have left to do now for packing is pack my clothes. My room is a mess xD.

Job searching has been slow going but I've been looking for stuff online.'s not looking too bright so far. I have to ask some people from the FAA about suggestions that I might be better suited for. Otherwise...I'm stuck. I really want something by June or July thats permanent, even if the pay isn't that great starting out. The job i have now doesn't cut it because it's not a regular part time job nor is it aviation related.

I'm looking forward to the months ahead but at the same time dreading it. One highlight in particular is that I'm going to be observing my friend's Wicca meeting!
So as one of my gifts to my brother, i ordered a HOMEMADE package of "Blue meth" from one of my friends in Texas who is a fan of the series Breaking Bad. My brother, mom and dad all enjoy the series, as my bro is the one that introduced it to them, and finally me (though I haven't had time to watch more than the premier yet). Earlier this year I asked my friend to make a package large enough that I could split plenty of it between my bro and I. So now i have a small stash for myself, and let me tell you what, it's damned good! I LOVE blue raspberry flavored stuff. Hopefully my bro likes it, she did a really good job in making it look like the real thing - of course it isn't actually meth, its just candy! She also added an extra note and the packaging sticker she put inside the package made me grin:

The package and note:…

A somewhat better close up of the candy:…
I can't wait to see his reaction :D. i think my friend did a marvelous job (and the candy certainly tastes good!).
After using all resources i have to study math, i focused on math for about 5 hours on my own. I think that's a record.

Now I keep staring off into space. I look forward to Wednesday, and hope I can make it worth the effort.

BRAINS. that is all I have left to say.
I have decided that I'm going to archive all my class notes, from this year and the past, of stuff that I may not have digitally or stuff I want to present in photoshop form for fun here on deviantART. In some classes, typing was more convenient, in others i wrote notes by hand, so not everything is already on my external harddrive. It will be a looong process, but I love photoshop and I also want to share some of what I've been learning, so I figure it's a fun and creative way of doing it. After I get a few more things posted up from my psychology and BA 300 classes, i will go back to the old days and get a few things up for my aviation classes and my logic class over the break and thereafter...hopefully. Again, it will take a long time because I also have tons of profiles I want to get done AND redo some others! Not sure how easily ill be able to share my logic notes, but we'll see. I'm trying to save as much of my notes digitally as possible in case I cant carry everything physically when I start living on my own.
I find it interesting, maybe even ironic that sometimes deep down I feel a little uncomfortable with my religion now. It is probably because I was raised into it by family, all of which are Christian. Everything I have been taught about life and the higher power revolves around many of the classic non denominational, fairly classic Christian principles. I must say with all the complains i hear about Mormons, I am thankful I did not grow in a religion of that extreme. While many of us Christians try to be good people, however, many are not much different from those passionate in other religions -- if you're not 'one of us and don't come to terms with us, you must be wrong because that's what God says' type deal.

The bottom line is, many of the evangelistic type Christians like to think that nonbelievers want something more in life deep down, but honestly, I can see that this isn't so for many people, especially the atheist and Wiccan or Pagan friends I have. Sometimes, it is indeed difficult to believe in many of the promises God offers, in much of what the Bible says. My famiily and some of the friends I have strong in Chrstianity would say that's half the picture- it gives you something to believe in, to hope for, to desire.

But sometimes, I feel a bit delusional, and worst of all, INDIFFERENT when I'm around my friends that don't believe. I know that's natural, but its a recurring thing for me. Yeah I certainly have fun being with the couple of Christian friends I have who are strong in faith, but most others are not, and I suppose its having an interesting influence on me. I'm not saying I need to be around more Christians because I confess that I'm NOT interested. i just don't seem to have the same passion they do when I interact with them. Maybe its a phase of rebellion and uncertainty I'm going through, maybe I'm (as they would all surely say to me) that the "Devil is tempting and discouraging me" but it's truly how I feel. It's in human nature to feel such ways. After all, isn't religion here just to give us sense of belonging and hope in the end, and offer an additional sense of cohesion and togetherness among the groups we choose to involve ourselves with?

Real life speaking only, most of my friends are either Christian, atheist, or Wiccan. One of my best friends (who is actually a Christian) has a Pagan boyfriend, but she doesn't try to convert him or anything. My boyfriend is essentially atheist, so obviously I treat him the same way my best friend does with hers. I refuse to be that kind of Christian that everybody hates. I have a select few Mormon friends, but they are the kind that are actually not content with their religion (at least from what I can tell), A friend I met in my psychology class lately is Wiccan, so I have made another Wiccan friend. It has been a while since I met any Wiccans, because they seem a bit hard to find - at least in Alaska. This one seems to be a fairly new Wiccan just getting involved with a local coven. Thing is, she invited me to it. But because of finals week coming up and the fact she is going back to her home town, I will probably not be observing a meeting until next semester. (Interesting side note, I may be rooming with her next semester because I REALLY want one semester away from home with someone I know >.<).

Of course this is just a curious Jetta looking to get a real perspective on what the Wiccan religion is like. Two of my best friends from Texas are Wiccan, and I'm sure they would be happy to know that I'm going to observe and learn more about it.

I'm kind of worried that my passion in my own religion is lacking but I don't want this new friend of mine to influence me to that extreme. After all, my family would freak if they found out. They did when my childhood best friend decided to be Wiccan and they (as well as her own mother) failed to convert her. Since then they insisted she and her friends were a horrible influence on me for the rest of my life when really, she's a great persona n turned out just fine. I know that sort of thing ticks people off that don't have the same belief as say Mormons or Christians. Then there's the fact that I can understand how atheist feel because sometimes, I admittedly doubt certain things about my own religion. YES I OPENLY CONFESS IT (and I don't care lol)

To sum things up though, I'm just a little frustrated as to what to do, it's not like I'm going to convert, and even if I wanted to, I have no idea how I would go about doing it because my family would flip if I announced it to them. I really don't think that will happen but REGARDLESS, I must say, sometimes, it just doesn't feel right sometimes and my passion is lacking.

As a side note! I also feel alienated in the aspect that many of my friends are fixed winged pilots, but absolutely NONE are rotorocraft D:. Makes me feel lonely sometimes, because I have no one that can relate to me. All I get are jokes about how much helicopters like to crash in movies...yeah that's very uplifting for me.
  • Listening to: Dredd - The OST
Well, things are busy now that the boyfriend is back from his two week trip/training with the AF Reserves. Things are going well...and school is still keeping me busy during the week. Occasionally I will still post digital art, but most of my activity remains on the forums I belong to. As it is, I am inactive on SGTNG because of the posting system, so in bursts of activity, I simply cannot keep up right now. I hope that I will be able to return to full active status on my forums by mid December -- but even that may be tough since RL is so demanding. More to the point though, DA activity will especially be minimal save for the times that I go on trips and take photos, or decide to share something to write.

Things you'll likely see from me occasionally are:
+Image bios for the various forums (I'm slooowly working on as many as I can)
+Random character signatures for the forums
+Short essays - I have one for KITT coming up I want to some point, if I can get around to finishing it!

What sucks is, every now and then I get massive photoshop and posting muse. I've been wanting to work on bios but have trouble finding the time!

Well, otherwise, please don't expect much from me for a long while, especially until I'm done with college. I may be pushed back to graduating in Fall 2013 due to additional course requirements, which will also allow me to have a backup plan for my current struggles. I just wanted to remind you guys because I know that I am a part of some groups - and though I do check DA, I only have time for quick browsing occasionally, so with all those that I watch now, it's REALLY hard to keep up and leave comments. I think i may have said this before, so it still applies. Just sayin'.
I really don't know how I'm going to get through this. It's hard to describe what I'm feeling right now, but I have to complain because I need to vent. I guess shame is a pretty good description because I often feel disappointed in myself for not being smarter in certain subjects so I can get through these classes faster. I'm struggling and I'm nearing the end of the line of my determination and patience. And I get depressed. Moody. Yet determined to keep trying somehow. The light is at the end of the tunnel but given the time I need for these four classes, I'm having trouble upholding my promise to my parents that I can get through this, and it makes me feel shitty as hell.

I'm essentially failing half my classes, and I recently found out I did shitty on my second psychology test because I spent the weekend with my boyfriend (my choice, I know), and am stressed out when I remind myself how terribly slow things are progressing. I knew this semester was going to be hell, and my boyfriend did too, but I seem to be taking it too lightly. Luckily I can easily still get a C or better in that class if I improve on the next test and the numerous web exams i have left. I think I'm taking things lightly sometimes because know how bad it is and how much time I need on these subjects.I have to play pretend to convince myself its not so bad in hopes that I can focus on studying better. But I have to have time with him, and have time to post because it keeps my sanity in check...and from becoming frustrated and potentially depressed. I can't be studying 24/7, and its impossible to get the kind of time I'd hoped on math and accounting. I may have to have to follow through with my back up plan: NOT graduate on time...

I am once again disappointed in myself after failing another math test. There are only 3 more to go including the final and i dont know how I'm going to manage even a D on the next test. I have to work really hard the next three or so days if I can manage it. I'm going to try, especially with minimal distractions now. I think I'll focus all my time on psychology and math then worry about the accounting test after that because I really want to see at least a D...I know, i have low expectations, but when you've failed so many tests, a D or C is a relief.

This is what I've become. A tired college student (and one who is also severely in love lol), who wants to move on, but can't just yet.

Let me put the next two weeks in perspective: two tests next week, one on the 31st and one on the 1st, then one on my birthday the following week. And my boyfriend's gone, so who knows how that moodiness will affect things...

I just wish that somehow, some way I could be assured that it would be all right. I really want this and I won't let two classes stop me. I'll use my fall back plan if i have to and save them for last but I know my parents will be disappointed. I know no one's perfect, but...