Words once said can never be retracted. No matter how much forgivness is asked, can the words ever be erased... The sting of the words can always be remembered if either party involved wishes to recollect them. I myself chose not to think about wrongful things heaped upon me. I have forgiven many trangressions against me. The most damaging coming from my best friend in 1997. Do those I care about do the same for my trangressions against them. I know some of my friends do (Sarah and Harry) do others?
"Hold your tounge, hold your tounge" I scream to myself when thoughts unworthy of my sweet demeanor come creeping into my mind. Sometimes I speak before I think which I am working on. I am changing, I will no longer let any single emotion cloud my judgment. When any single emotion runs rampant through our minds, we tend to say things we wouldn't otherwise mean. When we are injured we tend to utter words that most times aren't true, or aren't what we think most of the time.
Words are potent weapons. They can help or hurt. Speak with kindness. Wear your heart upon your sleeve. I once felt like Iago from Othello. I hurt those closest to me in the most awful of ways. Unkind words I never really meant. My world was crashing, my life was changing.... I exploded inside and spoke with adversion. Soon after a breakdown occured. I had driven those closest away. I drove them away because it hurt too much inside. Never again. I hold my friends close to my heart. They are so dear to me. I hold them close, but don't rely on them as heavily as I did before. It is great to hang out with them. It is great them to try in give me advice, especially recently, but I can stand alone if I need too. My own heart my guide.
Words can break a heart. Spoken or unspoken words. The truth or lies. Once a heart is broken it can and usually does heal but always leaves a scar. Actions can also break hearts. But there is something much worse when both play into the breaking of a heart. This is how I broke Sarah's heart. This is what happened to me... I would ask why it happened to me. But I know... "We chose our pains and sorrows long before we experience them." Perhaps it was atonement for sins... Sins I have committed in the past... But it doesn't matter anymore because my heart is no longer completely broken, but is healing.... My sins have been atoned for... I am free of sins... I am washed away clean.
Words can heal. Kind words spoken for no other reason than to be kind, are worth more than any gift. Telling someone they are special and that they matter appeals to the heart and makes it light and happy. Tell those you love and care about how you feel. Leave those you care about with loving words. Who knows what the future holds. What's here today may be gone tomorrow. Tell those you care about how you feel.
There are a million ways to say you hate someone and a million ways to say you love someone. It's your choice which words you utter more. It's your choice which words you leave them with. I chose love. I chose kindess. I chose tenderness. I say please, I say thank you. I respect those I love. I show them just how much I do love. I let them know that I have fun with them. That they are wonderful to be around. I let them know I feel, because I never know when the last time I will see them, to hear their voice or they will hear mine.
I have seen the best and the worst of my friends. And have stuck by them. I have tried to help them up when they fall. I have been there and done whatever I needed to do, been what they needed me to be to help them through their life. To make their life just a little easier...