Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
CMC everfre epilog 02 en by jeremy3 CMC everfre epilog 02 en by jeremy3
Hello everyone and sorry for the delay, I have less time than before and the vacancy was so good that  I had difficulty to return to the comic, but all will be okay now.

La version française arrivera plus tard et je m'en excuse aussi.

Yes, In my equestria, Scootaloo have parent's they just gone for business, but they love Scootaloo.

As always, please tell me if you thind english mistake.

Thanks to:
www.deviantart.com/novemberlil…
www.deviantart.com/uraiflo
www.deviantart.com/keeper-of-t…
www.deviantart.com/phoenixflam…
www.deviantart.com/kaijinzero
www.deviantart.com/kittyrinnai…

first part:fav.me/d8p0x1n
prev:fav.me/dcewkph
next :fav.me/dckefu5

Next week I will start a new comic,  see you soon!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfotland42:
fotland42 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2018
You should get in trouble for attention more often. It clearly works.
Reply
:iconeqdbot:
EqDBot Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2018
This Deviation was featured in the following Equestria Daily Post www.equestriadaily.com/2018/07… Thank you for providing pony material for all of us to enjoy :)
(This bot is unofficial, it is NOT affiliated with Equestria Daily. If you do not wish to get these notifications anymore, please just block this account.)
Reply
:iconl-master:
L-MASTER Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
Great work
Reply
:icondsana:
dSana Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
That's harsh, Rarity.
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2018
The first sentence I planned for Rarity was worst than this one.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:icondsana:
dSana Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
Ouch! :| (Blank Stare) 
Reply
:iconkittyrinnaiko:
KittyrinnAiko Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
"Going to spent the weekend" It should be "spend" Spent is past tense, spend is future. 

Ya, I only just now noticed that. 
Reply
:iconkaijinzero:
kaijinzero Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2018
so i guess i could help you with some translation stuff. 
first panel should have Rarity say "Sorry Sweetie, but no outdoor activities for you either, and you're on punishment for a month!" it should also be spend instead of spent, spent is a past tense so it imply's that they've been at AJ's house on a previous weekend.

fourth panel punishement should be punishment. that should be all here
Reply
:iconphoenixflambe:
PhoenixFlambe Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
I will also make corrections but wait until the new version with revised dialogue.

Scootaloo's mom??!! Where???
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2018
My Scootaloo have a mother but I will not show her in my comic.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconphoenixflambe:
PhoenixFlambe Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2018
Ok so, spelling mistakes.
Panel 1, 2nd dialogue: 'spent' should've been 'spend.
Panel 3, 2nd dialogue: 'cryed' should've been 'cried'.
Panel 4, Sweetie's last dialogue: 'punishment' has no 'e' in between 'h' and 'm'.
Reply
:iconkeeper-of-time-rd:
So corrections I can see would be:

Panel 1: “We go spend the weekend at Applejack house.” should be “We’re going to spent the weekend at Applejack’s house.”

Panel 2: Apple Bloom’s line should be “Hey Scootaloo, who was that mare you were talking to?”

Panel 3: something is getting lost in translation with “she arrived in hot” I’m not sure this is the same meaning but my first instinct would be to suggest “She arrived in town by the last train!” Or maybe “She came back to town in a hurry on the last train!”

That said I get the impression that the raw version is a raw translation for some kind of slang with a much different meaning. So I’m making a guess in the dark, suggestion something that fits what I see. If you have another way to say whatever “arrived in hot” means I’d be happy to re-translate for you, but I can’t seem to draw it’s meaning from the current context of the comic.

The rest of it looks good or has already been commented on by others, so keep up the good work.

Edit: oh there's also panel 4: sweetie's first line should be "She punished you too, didn't she?"
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2018
Yes, I do this part very quickly because I was very inactive this last week, and my english is still really rustic.
Thank you so much for the help.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:icontigreanpony:
tigreanpony Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
Well I do hope there is a time limit for Sweetie Bell's punishment, if not that is quite a bit harsh. Still very nice comic, I'm really enjoying it.
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
In fact Sweetie is punished for one month Two, I need to change or had a sentence.
And thanks for your comment.Hug 
Reply
:iconmaverickwolfzx:
Maverickwolfzx Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
It will sound cruel but Bloom can not go out because he hurt his legs, Belle can not use magic because he almost fractured the horn but the injured wings of Scoot do not think they affect him much.
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
In fact Bloomy have two broken ribs and some burns, but even Scootaloo doesn't feel the punishment as well because she will spent it with her parent's.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconc-chell:
C-Chell Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
We will see the Scootaloo's parent ? (I hope too much I guess)
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
I will not try to includ them in my comic, imagine if they finally show different parent's in the show.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconc-chell:
C-Chell Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
I know :)
Reply
:iconlightdragon1988:
LightDragon1988 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018  Student Artisan Crafter
Interesting page, nice story! 
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018
Thanks.:) (Smile)   
Reply
:icondeadmeat888:
deadmeat888 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
wow... well... i doubt rarity will ever be able to hold that punishment of never letting her see her friends again
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
I have to change something tomorrow, that will make more sense.😊
Reply
:iconuraiflo:
UraiFlo Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
The 's in the fourth panel is also missing.
Reply
:iconuraiflo:
UraiFlo Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
In the word months
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018
Thank you, I'll change that tomorrow.😊
Reply
:iconnovemberlilly:
NovemberLilly Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Great job!  You forgot the 'r' in 'mother' in the next to last panel though.  There was also something off about what Rarity says in the first panel too, but I can't quite place it.  could she be trying to say "Enjoy your friends, because you'll only see them at school from now on."  ?  The intent of what she is saying seems a bit unclear.
Reply
:iconjeremy3:
jeremy3 Featured By Owner Edited Jul 22, 2018
Yes it is, that's exactly what I wanted scoot to say.
And the "r" is missing because Scoot couldn't finish this word when she saw Dinky.
Thanks, I will change that tomorrow.😊
Reply
:iconnovemberlilly:
NovemberLilly Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah, I wondered of that was the case.  glad I could be of some help!!
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×




Details

Submitted on
July 22, 2018
Image Size
5.0 MB
Resolution
6197×8760
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
3,618
Favourites
58 (who?)
Comments
30
Downloads
15