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About Deviant Artist JenuOther/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
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Newest Deviations

Things that could have been...
It begins behind two computers
(as it actually did, only…)
we are in the same room,
this time around.
Perhaps a computer lab, or
a programming class, but
we are the only two who
are paying attention.
A month passes, in opposite
corners, both alone, until
I sit beside you, as if
I've always been there.
You don't dare to challenge me.
So we begin to talk, hushed, with
furtive glances, & loud laughs.
We grow used to the teacher
shaking his head at us.
When we're falling to C's, you
give me your number scrawled
on the back of a rough draft & I
type it in, & text you straight back.
One day I miss the bus, & you offer
to take me home for the afternoon,
'til my mom gets off work, anyway, &
I never tell you if I did that on purpose.
We spend the afternoon playing games
beneath two separate blankets, beating
the crap out of each other on screen but
perfectly warm together.
Somehow we find our way back there
many times, & I learn that I can hide
the other blankets under the sink
forcing us to on
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 3 3
Arbor Day
Desiring a pleasant day in February
Took me by the wrist, belly, flushed lips,
Thieving a kiss; later pulls a long drag
From a wide pipe, meanwhile selling me out to an old cousin
A homeless man also needing someone comfortable.
But we are not apart for long; I spend the next days
Being possessed over and over that possessed acreage
Breasts pressed against teeth
and nails. Like me. Lover-baby, asking me if I like
The smoking, honestly, as if my "no" would stop it.
But all we are is a fist lodged deep in my belly
Demanding tobacco leaves and gasoline. Bastard.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 1
Watching you
As you gently lay down to rest, peacefully dreaming
Of each terrible horror never to come.
As you wake, as you walk, as you carry
A fallible universe upon your shoulders.
Where I left the pen and paper behind
Your world began to grow, and I forgot
How to put into words just how much
You still mean to me.

Observing you, as you step over the lines
And back again, into battle, into peace.
Never sure where the line is drawn
Between freedom and happiness.
I never asked to be part of your story
All I ever wanted was to write down the words
To tell my story through your eyes. Or was it
Your story, through my eyes? I forget.

And if only it was just love, I could tell
A thousand stories of your beauty, your kindness
The soft whisper of your brushing fingers along
The smile of the hopeful and downtrodden among you.
But I never saw what I could have seen,
If I were invisible, watching but never detected,
In between the cracks and against the edge of where
Your heart truly lies.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 2 3
Earth, Alone
I want to belong to the stars,
Not inside four walls in a single building
Resting on a plot of land defined
By lines drawn over mountains.
For the space of our spirit is huge
Filled with emptiness and brightness,
Like the shape of the black and dotted universe
Compacted into the space between electrons.
The truest words ever spoken: "God made man
In his own image, male and female he created them."
Spoken then, but never again, the mind behind nature
Says, "I am just as human as you are, and more human again."
And God is patient, God will wait,
While the stars draw apart and the universe
Grows, so God too will also grow
Towards the predicted infinity of its nature.
The universe creates every mind into a galaxy, swirling
With stars and ideas and synapses
And we poets, with our god complexes; complexly gods
Draw nonsensical constellations between the dots.
A single mote, indistinguishable
From the distant galaxy surrounding it
Carries our yolk of the universe
In a single millisecond ray o
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 2 11
The strangest thing though,
Is the smell
Oil, sweat, ash, a hint of blood
And cold, cold metal.
There are a hundred knives
Hanging from translucent threads
Above us,
Twinkling like stars, even
In the dimmest light
And silent
Except when they swing together,
Then a ringing--soft and gentle
Like wedding bells, and I
Gaze at them in awe---
These glittering metallic icicles.
"Look at them," I say
"What is it?" he looks at me
Never following my constant gaze
"It is nothing"
I whisper, because I am terrified.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 4
Warrior Oppressed
In this way she showed them
She would be distinguished in war
With sword and shield in hand
The ancient warrior maiden
Leaps into the fray.
But you, young one, should say inside
Learn you ABC's and 123's
Two plus two is four, and remember
In Chapter 5 we learned,
Or Chapter 2 when we did…
No, I don't. I don't even remember
Breakfast, so tired, can't think.
Crushed by the passive resistance of white walls
Applause dies in apathy, continued only by
Muscles, relaxing and contracting sporadically.
No bells! A young boy shouts in glee
Great…now we shall never leave the compressing hallways
And the warrior maiden within
Slowly dies…
Into nothing.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 0 1
What the Prisoner Loves
“Will you stay here, with me? Forever?” the little girl’s voice echoed gently against the soaring walls of the old church. “Yes. I will be here, forever. My sweet darling, don’t ever leave.” His rumbling voice spoke caressingly, like firm hands holding one safe from a fatal fall. The girl’s voice sighed, and the ancient rusty bed groaned miserably as she curled in for the night.
One more strike…CLANG! The hole was just big enough now. Squeezing through, the girl barely avoided lacerating herself against the barbed poles that made her cage. Her hands were already bloodied and torn by shoving the bars for such a long time. Those bloody hands represented perfectly all those many years imprisoned and tormented by
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 0
Fading Fantasyland
My world of fantasy
Is slipping away from me
Dragons fade over bright horizons
Unicorns slip into forested shadows
Mermaids plunge into darkest depths
All evade my growing-up eyes
And as the trials and terrors of life
Pummel away at my childhood dreams
Adulthood sweeps my vision
To money, college, growing families
The magical stories-once crowding my head
Are now lost-rapidly fading mist
When did the simple telling of a story
Transform into the beastly process?
When the magic of youth fails
To capture stories in our imaginations
We rely instead on plotting note cards
To substitute for the magic of the story
Is this the regret of adulthood?
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 3
Let the years roll by
Let them disappear
In the past
So that tomorrow might make
A better today
Time does such a great job
Making today yesterday
Twenty-four hours equals
Another day wasted
Now is here, and gone.
What change did you make?
What love did you give?
None, today is the same
As yesterday, as will
Tomorrow be.
So let the years roll by
Possibly, unlikely, changing
Little by little
Like evolution of the heart
Did evolution really happen?
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 2
Disilusionment from Philosophy
begins in the step
between one ivory stair and the next
when you take a breath--
sudden, dark and powerful
throwing softened shadows into sharp relief.
The truth between the top of the tower
and the bottom is this: no one knows
anything, and we all die.
In my imagination, the sky is my training ground
For interior decorating.
"What do the shape of the clouds, or the colors
tell guests about you? ...all about
And I am no better than those
barbaric lions with notions of nobility
clambering over the teeth of dead elephants.
The truth is, these pretentious meta-thoughts
Won't bring my family back to me
Anymore than "I love you."
And they are lost to me regardless.
Lost in the step
between one ivory stair and the next
I find I cannot, and have no desire to
turn around, and go back down.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 1 15
Lavender petals...
I think I can see it now.
Why sometimes silence is the better friend
Than pride.

With a single word,
a thousand eyes turn upon me.
Every mouth is suddenly a gavel;
every person a judge, and I
am chained by my own words.
"Guilty or innocent?" they decide for me.
I am at their mercy, with no voice to say
"I am neither and it's not about guilt at all."
Trapping me beneath a single lens,
they lose the depth of who
I truly am, and the greatness of
who I can be.
Allow me to paint my own
Self-portrait, before I cover my face
With a picture already decided for me.
     I am
Not another statistic
     I am
Not a victim
     I am
Not a shape described by
"5 ways to identify…"
     I am
             Just Human.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 7 18
Dream of the Universe
With the moonlight blazing in our eyes, we race
Across the galaxy, carrying
This beautiful earth in burlap bags
Behind us.
Stars blinding as we whirl
In a sprawling, ebony netherworld
Waiting to be emblazoned
By the mark of our humanity.
The blood we shed for this
Ultimate freedom leaves crimson streaks
Dripping over the sky. We invent new constellations
With our indomitable spirit
And there's no end in sight,
We want to be all there is, but instead
We stand alone in this nebulous of darkness.
A million suns strike upon the hour,
"Show me EVERYTHING!!"
falling away, this dream,
this nightmare fading away...
awake and find everything
is exactly the same.

Oh wretched filth-mongers
Lowlier than rats, crawling with the maggots
Pretending to be, but never being
More than a waste of a life
Hide your face from the sunlight,
Dare not to drink from its warmth, or
Else lift your head, become human
And nothing less than who you are.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 4 6
And the weeks go by...
He lies in the darkness,
Old and alone and abandoned
Wondering why he needs to wake up tomorrow and
Why not just end it all now, while the night
Is still silent?
She is serving his favorite sandwich with
The cup of tea he always liked best to
Strangers she doesn't know.
And she misses him,
Wondering if he will ever return.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 2 6
'If only I had courage...'
Cease these indefinite promises!
"Somewhere, sometime, someday, somewhen."
If I mean nothing to you,
Don't promise me the friendship I always desire,
Because I
Would take you to the very edges of the heavens
If only you would take my hand, but you
Do not even dare to touch
My fingertips.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 0 11
A love poem
Your eyes are brilliant stars
Shining in the night sky.
They guide the weary traveler
To a brighter future.
                    They guide me to you
The breeze draws near to you
Catches you up in its breath
And carries the delicious scent of you
To every corner of my world.
                    I want to breathe you in
Your arms open wide for me,
Your voice sings a beautiful song
And with every step I take toward you
I grow stronger.
                   You are my strength
My world is in orbit around you.
Every second I come closer to
Crashing into your center I am
More joyful than ever before.
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 2 14
Empty Seashell
What once was, what once I had
That now is lost, forgotten memories
Locked forever outside.

Empty lifeless seashell, gleaming
In the sunlight, resting on a bed
Of golden sand, washed out
By cruel ocean's tides, and
Moving on.
A hope for love that is
Less than love itself, but
More than hope alone.

Oh, beautiful seashell.
There are truths
And there are lies,
But all you know is the passive, wavering,
Answer-less question.
A thought of a forbidden touch,
Whisper-light, spoken only in sleepless nights
Where, turning away, I confess futilities to
Empty walls.

An empty shell finds no home in another empty shell
No matter how beautifully it draws sunlight to itself
There is no home in the hollow singing of the ocean
Or in the shadows in the curvature of memories long past.
A strength in youth, a strength
Forged in darkness, a will created
To break the walls surrounding me.

Unending horizons between sky and water
Sand and golden sun and gentle breeze.
Oh lowly, hol
:iconjenu1:Jenu1 2 9


:iconle-petit-folle: :iconcrazeryan:



After my page was hacked, there's a lot of information I can't get back, like journals, my friends list, my watch list, all the comments and everything I've saved up over the years. Most of my poetry is backed up, as are my favorites, but otherwise, there's not much left. Do you think I should switch to a new account, and start over?


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dragnixcatc Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey! Long time no see! :D
oldschoolhero Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2013
Yo, where you at?
CrazeRyan Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Hey, it's been a while but i was wondering if you could read my new upload and tell me what you think?
BlackNailpolishDays Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Mishhh you!
CrazeRyan Featured By Owner May 23, 2012
I like stolen romance :)
KConn12 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012
:spam: hehe Haven't spoken to you in a while. We need to change that.
Jenu1 Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2012
oh hey! :D yeah! what's up??
KConn12 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012
Nothing much, just trying to get in shape. And how are you?
aikalikka Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank u 4 faving "Run, My Mighty John!" <3
Jenu1 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
You're welcome. :D It's given my friend and I some ideas for our own fem!sherlock/fem!watson cosplay. :3
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