At age 67yrs and one of MANY 'baby-boomers' now becoming older by the second I find myself in a hell of a mess!
Ageing means so many things apart from the daily aches/pains/illness/fatigue/failing hearing and eyesight.
On top of everything comes marriage and loneliness which is not talked about at all.
I have been married now for 35years to a very kind man (Martin). Since retiring M has gone through a LONG period of time where his computer has taken over our lives to such an extent that I feel lonely and unloved, completely on my own and the pressure of living with him has caused me to realise that being on my own is preferable because I have no expectations of him any longer.
To try and 'get through' I became offensive to him and was accused of 'nagging' him to take pleasure in our 'life together.' I think this happens to a lot of people after retirement. Serious depression and incredible anger toward him were my major symptoms and 'panic attacks' in the morning....... we are FINALLY doing something about it by going to Counselling together and this is helping a LOT.
This is not about 'attention seeking' behaviour it is about caring for one another and remembering how we were in the past. As we all get older we have I think a LOT more wisdom + the ability to see more clearly but it is hard to change habits. Change has always been important to me and I fight so hard in our marriage to accomodate the changes we need to make without being offensive........ I believe men are more unlikely to make changes than women?
I know a lot of women/men have lost spouses and I really cannot imagine what this must be like....remembering ones life with another person and trying to live. This loneliness can possibly be same in a marriage which is floundering?
I see a LOT of women (especially) completely 'giving up' and not allowing their own feelings to emerge in marriages later in life.
Please fight to keep yourselves in the 'loop.'
I have been in and out of Therapy and to be honest I had NO idea that we would be seeking help at this late stage BUT we are and it is important to both of us.
Sorry if this is a bit long-winded but I speak from the heart.
