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The Taste of Life

I need some paper with lines of blue
So I can sit down and write to you
The Rumours that you’ve heard are true
Living’s lost its taste

I sit alone here with kin and friend
I sit alone here once again
And leave my brain to comprehend
How living lost its taste

There’s no such thing as the cold up here
Nothing but heat year after year
Is there winter I could commandeer?
My living’s lost its taste

Midnight seems just two steps away
There’s few steps left till New Year Day
My train of thought moves toward the fray
Where living lost its taste

The train points forward but we move back
To where the poetry seems to lack
And memory is still intact
I still recall the taste

My school flies by while we reverse
The place my life skills were rehearsed
I always thought that place was cursed
It had an awful taste

I turned to look out the window
Looked back to thirteen years ago
So young so dumb, I hadn’t grown
Oh but what a taste

The scent of life was so care-free
I wish things were what they used to be
It feels like that was never me
I miss that sweeter taste

But now the world looks so damn vast
It’s like I grew up to damn fast
Good things in life never last
They all lose their taste

“With friends alone” they think that’s lame
They think I’m quiet or insane
But it’s just me talking to my brain
About a living’s taste

We’ve talked a bit both I and you
Did we ever settle or conclude?
Of life’s taste after the prelude
Does life have one taste?

I think we both came to decide
That a tasteless life aint suicide
It’s just a phase that will subside
I’ll make my own taste

As they all count down from ten
The train flies past the final bend
It’s too late now to pretend
That living’s lost its taste

Here’s resolution for New Year
I’ll live my life without the fear
I’ll still drink coke instead of beer
Beer has a bitter taste

As for finding that special one
Being “alone” seems way to fun
When we’re ready we will run
To some romantic place

So I turn away from the glass
And await these things to come and pass
Then this train can keep up at last
My thinking will give chase

To my dreams that grew and churned
And faded off as the world turned
If it’s one thing that I’ve learned
Life is your own taste
To be read in the tune of "Advertising Space" By Robbie Williams, the tune of the chorus for every stanza.

This kind of poem is categorized as a "Roundelay"
Roundelay: poem or song with a regular repeated refrain.

the refrain is manipulated but still.

The person i am "writing too" is myself or my brain. Any mention of "we" or "us" implies my brain or self.
(trippy huh?)

They refers to family and the like, including strangers in some cases.

I wrote this just after New Year 06, no i will not sing the poem because robbie and i share the same last name.

Again critique is always nice, if anyone else has written a poem or lyrical piece based on a songs tune but word changing than show me and i'll endeavor to read and rate.

Enjoy or don't

Jaz
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:iconmoefredthegreat:
moefredthegreat Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2006
Words fail me at describing how good this is.

*littlegreenbook's piece, "Man, I Feel Like a Sandwich" is a parody of a song.
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:iconfrozendruidess:
FrozenDruidess Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006
Something about this poem speaks to us. Perhaps because we can relate to it. =)
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:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2006   Writer
^_^ thank you.
I hoped people could relate to it.
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:iconxivanari:
Xivanari Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2006
Absolutely brilliant. Amazing, perfect, just wow. There are stanzas here with such beautiful rhyme and measure that I truly said "wow" out loud. However I did notice that while the refrain added a lot of flow to the piece, and the flow of the rhyme was truly superb (excellent vocab!) I did find that the rhythm was often disturbed by a mismatched line, or change in meter. The poem is excellently written, and has an awesome effect, but it is lessened greatly by the broken and abrupt change in meter.

Lines like the first in this stanza compared to the rest;
"I sit alone here with kin and friend
I sit alone here once again
And leave my brain to comprehend
How living lost its taste"

And entire stanzas like;
"There’s no such thing as the cold up here
Nothing but heat year after year
Is there winter I could commandeer?
My living’s lost its taste"

really dont add to the flow of the poem, but detract to it. These things stuck out to me, because as I read poetry I whisper it to myself, to measure the rhythmic meter (I am a violinist of eight years, beat is beaten into my head as it were). And in places like I have shown in my examples (though there are more than I've shown) I find that the beat of the poem is thrown off and disturbed by a different number of syllables in a line.

Overall, an amazing and truly impressive piece of poetry though.
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:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2006   Writer
It's true, this poem doesn't flow as well as i'd like.
I do take your opinion to heart, but i wrote this for two reasons, to express an emossion and because i couldn't get that song out of my freakin head.
It was a rhythm that i wasn't very used to, a type of poem i hadn't really written before.

Lines like the first in this stanza compared to the rest;

"I sit alone with kin and friend
I sit alone here once again
And leave my brain to comprehend
How living lost its taste"

the others are a little harder to fix, i will work on it.

Thankyou for your opinion!
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:iconjazblack009:
jazblack009 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2006   Writer
^_^ Thanks Ust.
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:iconustion:
ustion Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2006  Student
wow! thas all I have to say. And that was FUCKING AWSOME.. great work jaz , thats soo good ^_^
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