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Do you guys think that I've changed since I first became a deviant?
Anyway, I was just thinking about it. I started coming on here in my freshman year, but now I'm a senior and I just started thinking about how much my personal life has changed and I'm wondering if anyone who has known me for long enough has seen me change as well.
I know for sure that my writing has changed since I've found this awesome medium to practice and improve, but I was wondering if maybe my attitude towards literally anything has changed enough for someone to actually notice a significant difference.
I know for certain that in my real life, I'm way more cynical than I was as a freshman and newbie deviant, and I don't really know how I feel about that because I've always hated when people were too cynical, and I feel like I'm on that track.
I feel like my depression has both good and bad points in varying situations.
For example, my depression sometimes inspires me to write some of my more feelsy stories, and it garners some attention of people saying that they can really feel the pain and sadness in my words and that it's a refreshing twist from my usual stuff.
On the bad side, because of my depression acting as a sort of physical/emotional/mental barrier, I usually don't experience many more emotions, at least for very long.
I guess what I mean is that yes I can feel sadness but it's muted down to indifference fairly quickly, my happiness lasts as long as I am exposed to the thing/person/event that makes me happy, but then once it's done then everything numbs back down to me not feeling anything at all, I can't even really feel anger or frustration for very long either.
I'm no longer one of those people that lets one good/bad thing effect their whole day. I feel like I've become someone who can take things into better perspective than I used to be able to, but I kinda feel like in order to do that, I've given up a small part of my humanity in the process.
I know that kinda sounds weird, but it's honestly how I feel. I feel like in order to become more mature in one aspect, I say only one aspect because I am still immature as all hell but that's beside the point, that I've sort of given up on my emotions lasting as long as they used to. Maybe it's just a part of becoming a teenager/young adult, but I wish I could still have the naive mindset that I used to have only a few years prior.
Sorry for ranting.
Anyway, I was just thinking about it. I started coming on here in my freshman year, but now I'm a senior and I just started thinking about how much my personal life has changed and I'm wondering if anyone who has known me for long enough has seen me change as well.
I know for sure that my writing has changed since I've found this awesome medium to practice and improve, but I was wondering if maybe my attitude towards literally anything has changed enough for someone to actually notice a significant difference.
I know for certain that in my real life, I'm way more cynical than I was as a freshman and newbie deviant, and I don't really know how I feel about that because I've always hated when people were too cynical, and I feel like I'm on that track.
I feel like my depression has both good and bad points in varying situations.
For example, my depression sometimes inspires me to write some of my more feelsy stories, and it garners some attention of people saying that they can really feel the pain and sadness in my words and that it's a refreshing twist from my usual stuff.
On the bad side, because of my depression acting as a sort of physical/emotional/mental barrier, I usually don't experience many more emotions, at least for very long.
I guess what I mean is that yes I can feel sadness but it's muted down to indifference fairly quickly, my happiness lasts as long as I am exposed to the thing/person/event that makes me happy, but then once it's done then everything numbs back down to me not feeling anything at all, I can't even really feel anger or frustration for very long either.
I'm no longer one of those people that lets one good/bad thing effect their whole day. I feel like I've become someone who can take things into better perspective than I used to be able to, but I kinda feel like in order to do that, I've given up a small part of my humanity in the process.
I know that kinda sounds weird, but it's honestly how I feel. I feel like in order to become more mature in one aspect, I say only one aspect because I am still immature as all hell but that's beside the point, that I've sort of given up on my emotions lasting as long as they used to. Maybe it's just a part of becoming a teenager/young adult, but I wish I could still have the naive mindset that I used to have only a few years prior.
Sorry for ranting.
Hey
okay so where do I even begin? I guess sorry to everyone who thought I lowkey died? I didn't I just completely forgot deviantart existed for like 5 years (my bad) but that's not why I'm here. Also i don't care enough to check but yeah I graduated high school back in 2017 and just graduated from film school almost a year ago. I did some years at the local college in the interim because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life but now I do. I'm working in films now and while I'm frustrated because of all the strikes happening and work is hard to come by, I'm happier than ever being on a set. I'm genuinely in a good mental place because I know what I'm doing when on a film set. I'm there with a purpose and I wouldn't give it up. btw i hate this new layout because I don't know where everything is in dark mode and light mode will burn my eyes so it's no secret I haven't used this site in forever but some stuff is stored on here that I will be moving to other sites, mainly
back from the dead (not really)
me? actually being interactive and not lurking like I've been doing for god knows how long?
the scandal.
no but seriously guys, it's been a long time since I came to talk to y'all like this.
A lot happened this weekend so I'm here to tell y'all about it.
The first thing is that I went to Columbus, Ohio for the weekend to go to Comic Con, and I met some people that I've been wanting to meet for the longest time, and I finally fucking did it.
The first is Catherine Tate. Some people will know her as Donna Noble on Doctor Who. She was really sweet and just as sassy as Donna. My mom and I went to see because we are fans and because she's my
I'm an Angel
~Zombie~
[x]You're an outcast
[x] You feel as if you're not truly alive
[]You'll moan when hurt rather than scream and cry
[x]You tend to zone out
[x]You don't feel very smart
[]You like worms
[x]You like taking things slowly
[]You like odd foods
[x]You prefer to suffer in silence
[x]You don't get much sleep
Total: 7
~Werewolf~
[x]You have a bad temper
[]You're incredibly physically strong and fast
[x]You love the moon
[x]You're very loyal
[x]If you love someone, you'll do whatever you possibly can to protect them
[]You would go on a devastated rampage should your lover be harmed in anyway
[x]You like dogs
[]You're fairly sturdy in stature
[
Yo fam I'm on Ao3 and Tumblr + I'm not dead (yet)
so I recently got approved on Archive Of Our Own and I changed my name on Tumblr(yes I have a tumblr surprise bitches)
yeah i'm spreading my stupidity to yet ANOTHER website for writing, go figure
well anyway since you guys know me the best after having put up with me for over 3 years, I'm telling you guys all the details.
my tumblr is suns-out-sleeps-in
my Ao3 is suns_out_sleeps_in_ramblings
so if you want to follow for more stupidity you know where to go
also if any of y'all have stuff you want me to write, hit me up and we can have a little chat.
also also if any of y'all chat with me on the regular, message me and tell me who you a
© 2016 - 2024 Jack-Sinister
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Well I think your doing great no matter what. Not everything is always sunshine. I'm probably not making sense but I like to try