Well, here's the story about why am I so into a card game that much. And before I ever played Cardfight Vanguard. I used to have made a card game before that. I want you to use discretion since there is my personal life history involved. You may call me a villain if you prefer, but my life has an angle of the causality that caused me to do it.
It all start in the fifth grade, my friends started to play Vanguard as they brought it to school. I join and slowly learn how to play, and planning to get better on becoming the best Cardfight Vanguard player I'd be. I start to learn and play it very well.
I moved to the private school in Bangkok, Thailand out from my home province. I was heavily bullied there, and only Cardfight Vanguard is my friend of that time. I got sent to the school dormitory and lived there for two months by my parents because I was misbehave. Imagine it, a tiny six grader get to sleep with tons of strangers and highschooler and the strict teacher. I tried to make friends with everyone but I was rejected. One day, I brought up my Blaster Blade card and was crying because of homesick. A highschooler came and tell me to join them in a small Vanguard competition. I follow them and start having a combat. I surprisingly win which impress the people there. After my parents take me back home, I still continues and share the joy to my younger brothers after I return home.
After moving to Hanoi, Vietnam since seventh grade. I didn't brought Vanguard here and instead created my own card game after the impression of it that it had on my childhood. I studied and drew my own card characters, including making my own series and I gave the name "Cardfight Clanbattle" to my creation. The game was quite interesting and people are asking me to teach them. I have dreams and always dream of it being a popular card game that got to be in the school's club and activity. I spend every spare times I had on researching and developing this card game before given my best friend a trial. I have play this creation since eight grade and ninth grade. The lore of Cardfight Clanbattle series had grown and developed everyday as if the story grows alongside with me. And I met and learn about determination to surpass and be able to relate my life closer to my best friends.
But somehow, that dream had to be shattered. In ninth grade, I become depressed and angry about myself and my life. I have a desires of getting stronger and it is the point of causing me to get a mental breakdown. I got rejected by my crush two times. Failing math class repeatedly, and throwing out all of my life on an unproductive time of drawings. I compare myself to the others and the top student sand wish I exceeded myself like them. From a kind and friendly person, I become greedy and solitary seeking for the ways to make people appreciate me. I created a depicted demon from Cardfight Clanbattle called Dragon Deity of Destruction, Xephiros and the deity of virtue called Dragon Deity of Creation, Vlaston. I cherished Xephiros and even prayed in his evil hopes I will get the strength and surpass my depression with darkness. I start to take this serious and until the point I believe that he is exist and wants to take control of my body and use it to destroy people I used to love and people I hate.
One day in the afternoon, I ask for helps of defeat. Starting my best friends but they just want to soothe trouble by trouble in my life and explain to me that no one is perfect and the more I get glued to the power the more it is hard to reach when I break apart. I get angry at them and walked away and ask help from the other classmates which these people doesn't know me well. They ask me to show the demon possession. And I act as if it is there, possessing my body and scare everyone with the school massacre. I ran away after I gain my conscious after knowing that everyone had been completely covered in fear.
The next day, the principal called me and my parents in and explains to them that I have threat harms to the people with the demon from the card games and school massacre. The principal banned my card games and said that I have to go see a physcharitist for checking my mental illness before he expelled me out from the school. My parents get angry and shout at the principal that I'm not a psychopath. I was very worried about moving from this school since it is a good school. I have cried and have suicidal thoughts just like you. The School headmaster given a help to me and my family and solve the crisis. He found out that it is unintentional actions and allow me to have another chance of staying in this school. And then going on for a talk to the principal in order to agree to keep me in this school.
Even if I got to study here for the next year, the restriction of banning was still here. Cardfight Clanbattle was my beloved creation and it is so fun to spend times playing it with people who I loved. I betrayed myself, everyone and my creation by using it as the tool. These engraining evil thoughts that corrupted my mind caused me to change into the different person. I always thought of death and binding myself from the outside world even if the summer had come. I blame myself and cursed to the destiny that it never supports me. Until this nowadays, that scars I caused of my acknowledges had caused the greatest grief to my heart.
After you have read this so far, I hope you have gain and understand about me a little bit more. You can said that I'm an idiot who makes bad situation and caused myself chaotic troubles. But I have learned from it and never make this same mistake again. I don't know why do I have to face so much depressing things in my life and still continue to play Vanguard and kept the leftover Cardfight Clanbattle deck outside of the school sights. I'm not a villain nor an evil, but just a traumatized person who had faced pain in my life until I got emotional outburst. Hope you have learn a lesson from my life and if theres anything you want to help me, gave a hand in. I'm grateful since I met you on this website.
sincerely, Judo. (my real life nickname).