BREAKING NEWS: Mermaid hit by Boat!
Movie superstar, Ariel, was hit by an unsteady ship, Saturday night. "She's okay!" Said onlooker, Flounder. "Her abdomen is terribly misshapen though, and her innards are now hanging weirdly in fat pockets by her belly button...her spine was also maimed." Flounder also added that he believes her recovery is going well, and that Ariel hopes to be back on screens soon!
Ariel's manager, Sebastian, seemed optimistic during his interview.
"The good thing is, people are able to look past her deformities, because all they focus on is her breasts! It's truly a blessing!"