When will the overwhelming fear stop?
The bugbears of inadequacy
the constant hesitation
as internal cancers grow.
Cancel my subscription I hastily joke
to a crowd that's barely laughing.
Self-deprecation a bitter solace
To bear and grin and grind and slog
In cancer, cancel me.
Sunlight blocked by curtains drawn,
hidden from view
stands a man with journey curtailed
by malformed malfeasance
a growth of sorts gently gnawing
as days go by.
Check-up and touch-base,
meld into one,
hospital strip and gown
whir, click and moan of MRI
tunnelled vision
with fine-tuned precision
We can’t make an incision.
You’re too far gone.
But let’s keep you
as you for as long as possible.
And so he waits.
Works
Aches.
Journey curtailed
And somehow hopeful.
In heavy consternation, I move across the hall
wondering if this is just a dream or pride before the fall
A kaleidoscope of feelings unknowing
This I suppose was going to be showing
The fears of all my past offense
And possible no...passible trespass.
I should’ve known this day will come
It was inside my dreams, when I was very young
I without my common sense
Full of naïvety, roiling en masse
Black and white, like the cat
Clearly old, and darn well fat
Fed with fear and fed with hate,
Hoping it could dissipate
T’was long ago my dear man
But now I have a plan
A concernèd wail, where, I did not know,
As monsters pale
Conversations of a Madman by Ivic-Wulfe, literature
Literature
Conversations of a Madman
Crazy and distorted
Well that’s what everyone reported
Old and grey
What could he possibly say?
“I am man.” he cried,
a placated face in terror,
“But only man” he sighed,
“Assumed that I could weather…”
He seems interesting though
Glass in his hand...I think that he had borrowed
Old, torn clothes
These guys really hurt him all for the show
“You have gone too far”
he grumbles to himself,
“You’ve taken life and then my star”
“As though you knew yourself”
I must admit, he seems crazy
A simple gesture, a single poppy,
was given to him today,
As lo, I kn
The world is tearing itself apart they say,
No thanks to us and the “Human” way.
We struggle like all manner of “people” before.
Our animal instinct, our predator pray-ed.
Dogged by a new instinctual need,
Driven by those that feed,
The lies of the off-shoring, on-shore drug store.
A pleading, bleeding-hearted greed.
The same old song, the same old writer,
Their burning heart, their floated soul, no brighter
For the words that tie the noose for our carnivores,
To find the body of the beaten fighter…
To be stopped, by a thought.
As sure as the ocean’s wa(i)ve,
As solid as the broken roads we pave,
As cer
Hmm? Sorry, what was that? by Ivic-Wulfe, literature
Literature
Hmm? Sorry, what was that?
Introspection, a process of thinking, the center of our ideas.
To find our own minds so cluttered with the process of things.
To be drowned, in the very ocean we’d jumped into, never seeing the next wave
beyond the one we’re currently facing.
Like vomit in a washing machine,
Clogging the mechanisms of our well thought out plans
to see that purpose peter out
as we desperately hold our own candles above the maelstrom.
This, our day to day, that would constantly remind us that we’re missing something,
That somehow we’ve lost it.
We know what it is…
We choose not to acknowledge it.
Purpose.
Infinitely more diffic
Reason, cannot, will not, be our most used art here.
One wishes that our parents had taught us that.
Maybe somehow they did,
when they thumbed away that tear,
on the cheeks of our every disappointment and fear,
patted us on the back and told us to rise
our scraped knees, our backs, bowed but unbroken
as adulthood drew near,
and told us it would and could only get better from here.
“Fight this system,” we cried,
while growing older,
we’d realized our movements were bolder
than the similar movement our father had tried
and inevitably gave in and ran to hide,
from, and, unknowingly, with
that hulking great Moloch
under swe
Our constantly beating hearts,
Coursing a lifeblood that yearns for freedom, choice, decisions.
Our want of the arts,
Yet we pass it by for fear of our next "recession"
Running against this "social damnation"
This seeming hatred of freedom for all.
Yet, we push through, our minds, ever molded for creation.
To find our kindling, ever relighting our passions.
We came here to interact, to enjoy, to embrace,
Against the odds of our terrors, so self-made
By those who are thought to be superior.
To begin, to endeavor, to chase.
Those who so selfishly hold to their career,
Like limpets with no other choice but to grip ever tighter.
We shall fight
A thought rift, in this, our minds-eye.
An irrevocable wedge between our destinies.
A sign of times so long gone by
As we quietly stare at the missed opportunities.
These scars, we’d healed together,
Bring only bitter memories,
And surrender
To the day we’d withheld our remedies.
This...resentment, born of decisions made,
This...disquiet in forbearance,
Makes us wish that we could trade
A quiet abhorrence,
For that which we’ve never said.
The mountains we’d painted
That we’d never have thought to traverse
Leading only to a divergence, tainted,
By this, our unspoken curse.
This...resentment, born of decisions
I have felt in consolable need,
Distance offers only problematic conundrum.
To consider the stars would be to forget the moon.
To consider the moon would be to forget the journey ahead.
To ensure the now, would mean to remember the past
but in turn to mis-align the future.
One can (not) apologize in advance.
One can (not, only) be caught in the maelstrom of future mistakes.
Life spent amongst people, in closer proximity,
makes one, at times, forget people further adrift.
An in-considerable doubt and offence.
Lays one’s own intrusiveness to bare
it’s naked body in itself.
One sequesters oneself away,
in part to hide f
When will the overwhelming fear stop?
The bugbears of inadequacy
the constant hesitation
as internal cancers grow.
Cancel my subscription I hastily joke
to a crowd that's barely laughing.
Self-deprecation a bitter solace
To bear and grin and grind and slog
In cancer, cancel me.
Sunlight blocked by curtains drawn,
hidden from view
stands a man with journey curtailed
by malformed malfeasance
a growth of sorts gently gnawing
as days go by.
Check-up and touch-base,
meld into one,
hospital strip and gown
whir, click and moan of MRI
tunnelled vision
with fine-tuned precision
We can’t make an incision.
You’re too far gone.
But let’s keep you
as you for as long as possible.
And so he waits.
Works
Aches.
Journey curtailed
And somehow hopeful.
In heavy consternation, I move across the hall
wondering if this is just a dream or pride before the fall
A kaleidoscope of feelings unknowing
This I suppose was going to be showing
The fears of all my past offense
And possible no...passible trespass.
I should’ve known this day will come
It was inside my dreams, when I was very young
I without my common sense
Full of naïvety, roiling en masse
Black and white, like the cat
Clearly old, and darn well fat
Fed with fear and fed with hate,
Hoping it could dissipate
T’was long ago my dear man
But now I have a plan
A concernèd wail, where, I did not know,
As monsters pale
Conversations of a Madman by Ivic-Wulfe, literature
Literature
Conversations of a Madman
Crazy and distorted
Well that’s what everyone reported
Old and grey
What could he possibly say?
“I am man.” he cried,
a placated face in terror,
“But only man” he sighed,
“Assumed that I could weather…”
He seems interesting though
Glass in his hand...I think that he had borrowed
Old, torn clothes
These guys really hurt him all for the show
“You have gone too far”
he grumbles to himself,
“You’ve taken life and then my star”
“As though you knew yourself”
I must admit, he seems crazy
A simple gesture, a single poppy,
was given to him today,
As lo, I kn
The world is tearing itself apart they say,
No thanks to us and the “Human” way.
We struggle like all manner of “people” before.
Our animal instinct, our predator pray-ed.
Dogged by a new instinctual need,
Driven by those that feed,
The lies of the off-shoring, on-shore drug store.
A pleading, bleeding-hearted greed.
The same old song, the same old writer,
Their burning heart, their floated soul, no brighter
For the words that tie the noose for our carnivores,
To find the body of the beaten fighter…
To be stopped, by a thought.
As sure as the ocean’s wa(i)ve,
As solid as the broken roads we pave,
As cer
Hmm? Sorry, what was that? by Ivic-Wulfe, literature
Literature
Hmm? Sorry, what was that?
Introspection, a process of thinking, the center of our ideas.
To find our own minds so cluttered with the process of things.
To be drowned, in the very ocean we’d jumped into, never seeing the next wave
beyond the one we’re currently facing.
Like vomit in a washing machine,
Clogging the mechanisms of our well thought out plans
to see that purpose peter out
as we desperately hold our own candles above the maelstrom.
This, our day to day, that would constantly remind us that we’re missing something,
That somehow we’ve lost it.
We know what it is…
We choose not to acknowledge it.
Purpose.
Infinitely more diffic
Reason, cannot, will not, be our most used art here.
One wishes that our parents had taught us that.
Maybe somehow they did,
when they thumbed away that tear,
on the cheeks of our every disappointment and fear,
patted us on the back and told us to rise
our scraped knees, our backs, bowed but unbroken
as adulthood drew near,
and told us it would and could only get better from here.
“Fight this system,” we cried,
while growing older,
we’d realized our movements were bolder
than the similar movement our father had tried
and inevitably gave in and ran to hide,
from, and, unknowingly, with
that hulking great Moloch
under swe
Our constantly beating hearts,
Coursing a lifeblood that yearns for freedom, choice, decisions.
Our want of the arts,
Yet we pass it by for fear of our next "recession"
Running against this "social damnation"
This seeming hatred of freedom for all.
Yet, we push through, our minds, ever molded for creation.
To find our kindling, ever relighting our passions.
We came here to interact, to enjoy, to embrace,
Against the odds of our terrors, so self-made
By those who are thought to be superior.
To begin, to endeavor, to chase.
Those who so selfishly hold to their career,
Like limpets with no other choice but to grip ever tighter.
We shall fight
A thought rift, in this, our minds-eye.
An irrevocable wedge between our destinies.
A sign of times so long gone by
As we quietly stare at the missed opportunities.
These scars, we’d healed together,
Bring only bitter memories,
And surrender
To the day we’d withheld our remedies.
This...resentment, born of decisions made,
This...disquiet in forbearance,
Makes us wish that we could trade
A quiet abhorrence,
For that which we’ve never said.
The mountains we’d painted
That we’d never have thought to traverse
Leading only to a divergence, tainted,
By this, our unspoken curse.
This...resentment, born of decisions
I have felt in consolable need,
Distance offers only problematic conundrum.
To consider the stars would be to forget the moon.
To consider the moon would be to forget the journey ahead.
To ensure the now, would mean to remember the past
but in turn to mis-align the future.
One can (not) apologize in advance.
One can (not, only) be caught in the maelstrom of future mistakes.
Life spent amongst people, in closer proximity,
makes one, at times, forget people further adrift.
An in-considerable doubt and offence.
Lays one’s own intrusiveness to bare
it’s naked body in itself.
One sequesters oneself away,
in part to hide f
Nostalgie vir 'n Onbekende Land by WolfieInu, literature
Literature
Nostalgie vir 'n Onbekende Land
My indrukke stap al ‘n lang pad saam,
maar altyd in ander kontekste omraam:
‘n pa en sy dogter gaan oesters soek
in ‘n houtskoolgesketste kinderboek.
Die skuite, aan wit piere vasgemeer
in die helder, verfrissende oggendweer
is ‘n impressionistiese meesterwerk
deur die bladsy se muwwe reuk ingeperk.
Die vroegoggendmistigheid druk teen die ruit
in die stille halflig net voor opstaantyd,
en dis asof ek dié toneel jare lank ken
want iemand het dit kunstig neergepen.
Die groot, geel, versadige oestyd-maan
en die melankolie as Oktober gaan,
die herfsblaartapyt in die akkerwoud,
die laatmiddagsonstraal, lank en goud,
She was remembering the sunny days, they were like shadows, only dreams for her and she feels the emptiness, like the evening before, but she couldn’t fill it up with anything anymore, the light was blown out, the darkness swallows Everything, an incredible fear caught her,
She closed the door, the rope in her hand, tears were dropping onto the thick material, it’s useless, Everything’s dark, nothing, she’s feeling like dreaming, single thoughts coming up to her mind, trying to fix them, not able to find herself again, something dark pushes her, wanting to rescue herself, stepping onto the chair, hanging it up, realiz
Rainbow coloured socks
cover the feet of the multicolour fox.
As he went out to today.
Skip to the right,
always quite a sight.
Multicolour fox is out to play.
Running through the meadows,
frolick on the plains.
Technicolour fox is technically insane.
Romping all the way
silly games to play
Multicolour fox is out today.
Current Residence: Stellenbosch-Helderberg residence Favourite genre of music: Power Metal, Progressive Metal, classical Favourite style of art: My sister's Operating System: Windows XP Wallpaper of choice: Most Anime wallpapers Favourite cartoon character: dunno really... Personal Quote: Nothing is more deceitful than toast...you cannot trust it...or it will burn
Those of you who follow my posts may have noticed a specific thematic trend in my poetry. Here's an explanation:
A lot has this theme of being trapped by social norms, conventions that needn't be in our social coding. The entire idea to learn so you ...
So it's been a while since I've said anything on this page, I've posted the odd poem and attempted just to keep this as alive as possible. I've moved up to Gauteng in the meantime, have a job up here hopefully beginning to do what I was meant to do this year.
I've come to a conclusion where in the past year I could no longer consider myself to be able to love women in the same way as one is supposed to. I couldn't see beyond a lot of things in the last year. I was engaged (again) don't want to make that a habit, broke up and finally decided it was time for me to accept the fact that I am gay.
Aside from that I'm attempting to find ways to b
Been a while since I was around here, just generally posting crappy poetry as usual and then I disappear for another year. How awful is that? Anyway, I'd just like to let you know that the most inspiring thing happened to me yesterday.
Athol Fugard came to give a seminar at Stellenbosch and it really was very amazing to watch. I've been given a temporary new leash on life and am feeling very happy.
Thanks for the devwatch, Conrad! Hope I won't disappoint! I'm a big fan of your writing. Also, quite amazing you've been on deviantart since 2004, that's a lot of time!
Hello there, Ivic! This is Galahad (as the more observant may have deduced from my username... XD). I hope you don't mind if I add you to my watchlist!