for the past week, i tried to draw at least one skull every day. i watched videos, read articles... 'i wish that i had started drawing skulls sooner, it would have helped me a lot with drawing faces', they all said. so i did exactly that. i want to be able to draw faces, so what better idea than to start drawing skulls. learn the basics, they will be needed sooner or later.
day after day, i tried my best, even if it wasn't quite enough. even if i didn't have the skill. even if the shading was never fit, even if the jaw wasn't exactly accurate, even if the back was a little distorted, i didn't give up. or at least i thought so.
but, you know that 'comparison monster'? yeah, the one that makes you look at what you did and look at what others did and immediately think 'well, look who hasn't improved at all!', 'well, look at what you did, its so mediocre!', 'oh, look at that, at your age she was probably drawing skulls from memory!'
with that it all piles up. my doubts and my ambitions, my fears and my greed. i forget the whys that brought me to where i am. i start to question 'when will i ever be able to do that' 'when will i own such skill',' will i ever be able to draw that'
i keep telling and telling myself. no one is born knowing everything. i wasn't born talented. you have to get the skill. through practice. through hard work. even if it means repeating the same damn thing every single day. even if it means the eyes you draw will always look angry, even if it means the lines you draw will look way too dark. its by doing it again and again that i'll see the flaws and overcome them.