Don't read this because if you do you will find yourself with 2 eyes tonight at 12:34 tonight! Now that you've started you can't stop because my evil spell of evil evilness has made you not able to stop reading this which will result in you having 2 eyes tonight! This CANNOT be stopped unless you do these steps, and if you do you will gain a magical power which will allow you to eat a whole leaf within 12 hours 34 minutes and 56 seconds!
1. Kiss your right eyebrow.
2. Say "MOMMA, GUA GUA LANA LUALA JUST ATE MY PINEAPPLE" 3283674364 times within the next .0000000000000000006 millaseconds.
3. Post this to 69 ponies within the next meter of computer screen within the length you have until your left thumb's fingernail is exactly 8.725145 centimeters.
If you do this, you will get a free pineapple every time you eat Neutrogena Pomegranate Banana Soap. This will be granted at 12:34 pm tonight.