Neurotic Carousel Interview 2017

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By IntuitiveMoth   |   
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Published: March 21, 2017
This is a long-awaited interview with the talented artist, writer, spiritual seeker, dear friend and all-around Renaissance man - Mark ("Mnemothra") from Texas, also known as 'Neurotic Carousel'. The artist's name itself is a mystery and an open end in itself – which invites us to explore deeper.

1. Please introduce yourself in a uniquely creative/poetic manner – engage us deeper into your microcosm. Why Neurotic Carousel?

Hello everyone. I’m very humble to have this interview done, for Neurotic Carousel. Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Mark Cavazos, front man vocalist and Creator Mind of Neurotic Carousel. Most might also recognize me from other Networks, as Mnemothra from DeviantArt as my Name.

Mnemothra, is my personal Alter-Ego username I have on DeviantArt. This year, just completed my official 10 years of having that Art account. Mnemothra, is what I refer to as an ‘Artifact Moth’. To elaborate the Moth being is a Spirit Totem; the Moth is my Spirit Animal. If you want to know more about what, Moths Totem Animals represent I suggest to look it up on Google. You’ll receive more insight as to what they symbolize about myself symbolically in many forms. I rather not explain the whole entire concept derived to how they’re connected to me. But anyone who personally knows me can tell you and even verify to you that Moths are always around me, wherever I go. There is an official certain sensory guide for me and they represent basically everything I am and what I’ve gone through in my Life. They are attracted to me in many ways as I am to them in certain ways. I feel their energies and vibrations as well, since they carry energy. Perhaps it’s also in my Own Neuro Transmitters since I suffer to these certain ailments, one of the probable possibilities? They are always landing on me and oddly never seem to fly off. Even when I shake my arms or brush them off, they fly around and take a landing right back on my body? Frequently. The term for Mnemothra (My Alter-Ego) means - The Resonate Gatekeeper of my Nightmare Artifacts and Memory Shrine (Akashic Records). Since it being my Own personal Spiritual, Philosophical reference theory System, I shall have to remain the rest in private and rather not disclose any further information beyond this point.

On to the music,

Neurotic Carousel started, 15 years ago, and we didn’t have a name for what we were doing at the beginning besides music. Being that it was just my brother and I back in 2003 officially playing songs as a duo on piano and acoustic only. I could barely sing and was quite horrible to be honest, quite frankly I could barely hold a note. I was slowly training myself and developing my voice, as I went along. But in all of it he taught me the basics, I did the singing and the lyrics. He did the piano and acoustic. My brother Matthew, also a member of Neurotic Carousel of course. Had been doing music his whole life. He could play; guitar, play excellent piano, Sing and do programming as well. Our songs were extremely heartfelt, dark, soulful, deep. I wrote the lyrics in old written selective Journals I did years back and had picked the ones I liked the best, to turn into songs. The one's I honestly felt I could elaborate and express the most. I used them for my reasons in those times to cope with Life in my enduring time frames, he had already loved my writing and when he realized I wanted to write music and sing he was engulfed to enjoy working with me. As brother’s we worked very well together. We just did it out of pure enjoyment and synchronized. That’s how it took off.

Eventually, we wanted to branch off into a band and become more solid grounded and official, after almost near a whole year. We gathered some members. Voted the name and even gave it an actual philosophy behind it. ‘Neurotic Carousel’ was officially born in 2004.


Meaning of the Name: Neurotic Carousel, is dealing with the unstable movement of the mind. The mind being a connection with "Its" own philosophy of generated thoughts, held back...almost shown as a psychological darker-side of itself. The intentions and concepts of Neurotic Carousel, is to create a Spectrum of Music that expresses the attributes of the mind and thoughts in artistic expression.

It has been this way ever since. Neurotic Carousel, as the name implies; is always a shifting process and progression. Eventually a new style of basis, it never remains still, but always spinning constantly. It keeps changing, spinning and evolving.

For 15 years, we’ve had an extensive long listing lineup; for it being such a long-time frame. Many different members came in and left, came back and left. My brother eventually also left the band too after 2009 I believe, to pursue his Medical Degree. The Carousel has always kept spinning. At times, I felt like stopping music after losing out on many members. Even in final moments. I felt like aborting. But I always came back to it, during long hiatus periods. I also wrote many other tracks on the side, for I usually would in most cases. I began an experimental Solo-side Project called, "Tentorii Cerebrium". This kept me busy and occupied, so I would remain active with music. This helped inspire me, stay focused and motivated as a musician on break points; as well yet to innovate around. I would move on that work. It took nearly a decade of recording and piecing it together over duration's and periods of long years. But finally, ‘Tentorii Cerebrium’ is now fully completed! Published. Had been, since the Carousel was in and out of effect. I would on basis, slowly go back to recording songs; as well and shift back and forth to NC.

I can now say Neurotic Carousel will be back though in the future. I don't plan to retire from being a musician. I don't think I could... Now currently forming a new set, or rather have one somewhat forming. Writing new songs and progressing on newer found material, slow but in definite process. The Carousel will eventually return. When, however??? This I cannot officially say.

This is The Neurotic Carousel.

2.      Before we begin to delve into the profound depths of your subconscious, share with us the latest dream you have had tonight or the night before. I am sure the readers would love to have a quick glance into your archetypal inner world.

Every time you sleep you dream. I suffer from severe insomnia, for a few years now. So, most times, by the time the Ambien and sleep-aids kick in; I’m in absolute ‘blackened mode’. Deeply in unconsciousness and unaware of what I dream. Once I’m fully asleep, that is. However, lately I have not had any recent dreams at the current moment to share. Nor none that I can remember.

3. Let's begin now – how on earth did you end up as an artist? What had drawn you to the creative world?

Naturally I was always driven to the Creative World, for many of my peculiar and eccentric interests of doing things. Generally in Life too. Just a natural passion. I've always “seen things” differently from others. It's been a second nature. I'm not too certain on how to explain this precisely? I've always enjoyed expressing myself in so many ways. I just seem to do so a bit intuitively, more so I would say? Like an Intuitive Frame of Mind-Set. My Perception of Life, Art, Idealizations basically anything in me in my moments during my Work; as well as many other things to be quite frank fits with this. ALL is combined. What I create, everything I hold together is bonded in mixtures of a collective Orb. Stays in an Intuitive Place, yet distances then drifts extremely far away and alters itself.   A Microscope, for example. I observe into a tiny object strand and see cellular base line structures and roots. As I zoom into it and out many times. My Perception manifests along with it. In one way or another I focus up closer. Viewing just a tiny object or another, sometimes all ways of/or another. I'll catch all other things I hadn't realized I first saw until I keep reviewing over it. It's an intention I've seemed to acquire along my time. Until everything falls into its place. I'm left with capturing countless concepts, visuals and ideas to work with by then. Basically powered and triggered. I'm still here. Call it Construction of Unending Imagination? Whatever you want to call it? My Mind always tends to experiment way too often I give up sometimes and call it a day. Even over a cup of coffee sometimes.  

I do consider myself a ""Jack-of-all-trades"" when it comes to the field of working with Arts. I was trying things of all sorts using different types of Medias. Not just in Music. First as a Writer, started with narratives, free verse poetry, lyricist; philosophical concepts included. But all of the above, came to me. Traits of characteristics.

Writing: I'm a Novelist mostly. Published. Literature and Editor.  

Photography: I went into Photography, simply because I enjoyed it. That was my first root Media on DeviantArt, as a matter of fact. Started with simple Photography Art. Polaroid disposables. I even took a class for Commercial. Digital Cameras were very expensive back then. Photoshop was barely developing. Everything was all natural with what I did. I'd taken Commercial Photography and learned how to use those old fashioned cameras, Wow! I wish I had one! After learning later on to work with the technical gears and chems, took me a bit. I enjoyed developing the Film in Dark Rooms, in my past and those Vintage Snapshots in fresh B&W Gloss looked so authentic, of course homemade and felt so professional. But afterward, as I stated Digital Cameras were expensive back then. Back in that time frame, Smart Phone Camera’s didn’t exist. Didn’t care much, however. For with what I was using at this point I could only use whatever I could get my hands on. So I grew desperate with what I was doing. Seriously, I just wanted to take photos! That being said, out of the plain simplicity on the usages of my common senses came with Polaroids. It just clicked in my Mind and it just worked! I would just mess with disposable cameras and easily have them developed. The results would come out excellent even abstract accidentals that were accidentally shot, even came out the best ones'! I just did my Own work. Enjoyed it! Disposable Kodak or Polaroid Cameras were my thing during that time frame!

Drawing and Painting: Self taught.

Music: Self taught.

Mixed Media: I also picked up overtime how to do other Arts & Crafts of many sorts. Such as Sculpting, handcrafting, crafted mixed media, altered art, and natural taxidermy.

My Creativity and attraction, was naturally learning and growing as an Artist; as time progressed. Always staying to my Own way and style. Simply by experimenting around in many differentiated Minding fields of the Art World that led me into all far ends. Even till now, I'm still evolving as I go along.

4. Would you say that you see yourself as a performance artist, first and foremost?

I would like to be both. Recording and Performer. I rarely get chances to perform live, due to lack of members. Or lineup changes, relocations, people that have dropped the band. Certain to so many complications. Unfortunately, when we first started the band in 2004. Throughout the years, we should have at least have gotten some more live gigs. But in our local scene there was a certain “style scene” situation. It was excruciating, nauseating and incredibly ridiculous the way they treated most other Original Musicians, just because they or we didn’t fit with their music. It was frustrating for many Artists and bands that tried like us, to at least get our foot in the doorstep at Venues. When they shunned at us. They didn’t allow anyone or any band to play anywhere in any venue unless you were Hardcore. It was very unfair. That main Venue shut down now, however. So, things, here in this area have expanded and Minds have opened. It’s very more easy to breathe now as well in the scene. It loosened up, this I’m happy for. The local scene has lightened up. This I’ve taken notice and it’s refreshing to realize. Neurotic Carousel, hopes to play again. The Carousel hope to share the stage with many others that’ll appreciate to perform with us as well. Soon in the future!

5. I know your creativity is profoundly related to the spiritual realms. What is your spirituality to you? How did you end up on this path and Why? The big Why question J

I’m more Spiritual than Religious. I detest Organized Religion, of any type. I fear ALL RELIGIONS, in my most personal sense for that matter. Religion can be dangerous and a venomous subjectivity to the Mind. I’ve seen the ugly and what it can do to people. I’ve realized strongly that your Will-Power, love and having faith in yourself is stronger than any Religion.

I embrace Life and live it Spiritually and Philosophically with a genuine kind-hearten perspective and try to follow a righteous path. Being kind to others, respectful to gain respect, trying my best to live every day like it’s my last. Even the worst days that are cruddy. Because, I know every day is a new one and you’re reborn again. With new probability and possibility. I consider myself, to be my own Self-Philosopher. My OWN BUDDHIST, (in a certain Buddhist type way that is? If one would say?). As in accordance to following my Own Path in Life, the example I mean. As growing in constant Stages of years in this World. I choose to simply live my life freely, as my Own Leader and I embrace all of it humbly (the positive or negative, the healthy or unhealthy) whatever comes my way. I must adhere to Nature. To be challenged and faced. Blessed and interceded. If you're in this World lonsemone, everything fully, is to believe in yourself Spiritually, I believe with that you’re able to conquer anything. That’s what my Soul feels strongly. I KNOW and strongly believe with faith to myself, that everything in this Reality of Existence happens for a reason. What you put out into the World and Universe will return to you as you ARE and WHAT YOU DO to others based upon your, own actions. It’s a basic flow of energy returning to you with Laws of Attraction; offered to fit back in to a certain designed balance and order. What you put in, gives back. But Karma means almost like it’s guaranteed. I would say it works almost in both ways. But Karma is too radical and superficial for me to have faith in. I do not believe in Fate either. It’s a cruel law. Nothing is said in stone for people. Things change, different things happen, the inevitable; the unknowing. However, if you are enlightened and become aware of things you are doing incorrectly in the Present time. Based on your decisions, in that moment for your future and for yourself. You make healthy choices. You can easily change your Fate. Make sense? You can always change your fate. Fate can change.

As far as GOD. Since Pantheism is fact, of course. Which I of course know. I’ve always believed in GOD. In all and many forms GOD exists.

Knowing, I died in 2014. I flatlined and was resuscitated. Then 3 years later. I’ve been chosen by Something? God embraced me with a “gift” I cannot disclose anymore, then this. I lead myself an honest Life.

Spirituality to me. God has always been with me. It always will be there. GOD will always be there by my side. Simple to me as this. I believe now so more than anything.

6. Can you portray to our readers what are the pluses and minuses of indulging in spiritual seeking – from your own rich and profound experience? I'd love it if you share some experiences of us – on both the bright and less bright Spectrums of your journey.

I believe that, we are the all-knowing answers to the Universe. I just think we are not meant to ever know what they are. That’s what makes us such extraordinary beings. Yet so arrogant too and throughout humanity, downright pathetic. We are not meant too. But this is all in one’s own Perspective. To each to their Own Universe. Every man holds their Own. We will all die, for what we believe in. No matter what. No one can say differently.


I know now. That, death is not even close to a finality, it’s just a beginning to a new road on a different plane. Or rather Level. If you study the Kabbalah, you’ll study more insight. Hebrew or Buddhist Mystical Versions. Or if you believe in any afterlife or an afterlife, when we're gone after we pass from death, for that matter.

7. In what colors do you see the dilemma of finding an enlightened but also moral guru, because we hear so often about bastards in holy costumes taking advantage of innocent seekers of truth? How can one distinguish between the foul and the genuine? Do you really and sincerely think there are saints in this world, per se? You know what I'd personally answer to this question?

I believe we are the issue. People generally are the issue. Make themselves the issue, they are the ones that become stagnant and arrogant, it’s their Own Personal Ego they deal with that makes them the dilemma. Only a person themselves, can change their Life and at least try to make it better. Make it meaningful or worth living. It’s not always easy. Trust me, it isn’t. But I think, all Spiritual Seekers are the same. Including myself, this I’m working on too as well. We are only human. No one is perfect. But we can still be in sustainable self-awareness. There is Evil in this World, absolutely. Hidden under masks, especially. Just the same, you cannot trust anyone; unfortunately, not even the sincerest kindest of hearts with your guard up that come into your Life. It’s a horrible thing. With such cold tension and trauma for humanity to always have been hurt this way and by others, we shut others out. These wolves, as I seen them attack others, destroys the Spirit within the person. But this remains as it is.

I believe all things are possible. Logical yet open to believing things, that are illogical that in which we cannot understand; or are not meant too as well. There have been proven miracles and mysterious unknown things that Science and Medical cannot explain, nor can they. I personally have come into many close paranormal experiences and encounters in My Life myself!! That I cannot explain till this day, nor choose NOT to disclose nor talk about, for they are too private and traumatic. This is how I know, we are all more than just Mortal. We are MORE. Are more. Meant for more.

All these Conspirators and higher Authorities I feel govern Saints dead to Society. Mainly over Money and Power. Not just this, many others down the Branch. All and many conspiracies untouchable. Behind a very tall large covered curtain. Of all sorts are covered up. Pure filth with horrid subjectivity that no one even realizes, to all Communities. Possibilities never found or known, unknown incidents never released; even staged, never discovered intel, deeply classified information. All this to withhold together stability in Public to people glued and brainwashed on Social Media, Facebook, Smartphones. This is in all accordance as what society wants. Many now could understand these secretive operatives. I don't call these people so much as Saints. But Illusionists that go act hand in hand with justice. But do whatever must be done, to get it done. It's only the Justice part that fills me with confusion at times? Is it justice? Or fear? But that's how it must be. The question is, are they actually Saints or is it a positional situation of manipulation in some respect?

But it's not all of to blame of Society. It's the Movement of our Era as well, our Generation in that regard and our 21st Century we're heading in. This. This is natural. All natural. It's Time. It's our Now - Time. I believe, that Pure Political Tyrants will only make things more destructive. Elitists and Religious Idols have had their share, throughout History. It's how Mankind has formed through Centuries and molded. Sculpted ourselves, technology seems to taken over us. It seems we lost what's Real, until it's actually GONE. This we know and this we always forget, until it happens again. It’s shown throughout Mankind and Historical archives we’ve been known to become a part of till this day. In example- WWII. They fear in other’s Judgement, want power, greed, wealth and control. It’s what they cannot understand, or control to begin with. Ultimately, it’s their Mind-State at War and Ego that’s a dilemma. So, they conquer, destroy, contain, start Wars of all sorts and will kill. Socialism with Politics and Religion is this way and expected to do this. Religions and Politics, is the case because it always seems to revolve back around to it. I don’t think this will ever change for ever more thousands of years to come. There and even after as well. There will always be Systems and Laws. In best regards, there must be. But some are too radical. But out there, there are things that they cannot control. Just cover up. Destroy and Rebuild, just to burn it all back down to the ground again after Centuries. I find that the main source in dilemma in finding enlightenment. Humanity never evolves, it’s at a very slow pace. War is simply another word for Ego.  

I cannot justify Saints themselves. Not through justification; of Catholicism. They do this their Own personal way. That's for the Roman Vatican Empire Diocese to decide. More so than actual Idols or Saints themselves, that have proved themselves worthy of Mankind's Honor. I couldn't be sure? Propaganda otherwise through the Roman Catholics. Which is for "Any Saint" to decide. If you catch my drift...

To find a true form of awakening, one needs a spark of enlightenment to go on that Spiritual Path in this World today. Just doesn't seem to coalesce anymore these days. It seems gone. Empty to me and depressing to see this, as the World is meant for so much more purpose and Worth. As to Saints being my last words on this question. I'm not certain, of Saints? If we are so to be Spiritual Seekers in Ourselves and embrace that.
Then we of Our Own Being. Most ardently to hold true too. We should never let go of that. We were created for each and every purpose.

However, off the record. I want to leave off....

EVEN BEFORE that, The Tree of Life was our Ultimate gift in almost ALL Religious cultures throughout the World and beyond. It literally is in everything! Really Google it, if interested in knowing when the Kabbalah was gifted to our Universe…by GOD itself.

8. What's your creative process like? How does a new song goes into labor?

Somehow the musical process just, automatically comes naturally to me in all truth. Almost like a done woven puzzle, put there genuinely made. Derived through my conscious / subconsciousness and I’m just piecing it together. Mostly of it is intuitive nature. I process it and give it Life. I visualize, feel the energies. The creative progression comes out, I focus on it and it allows me to put forth my response and expressionism on an artistic side and level. I stay on that track. That and with my band mates, it inspires them. Or me solo, if I’m writing the song by myself.

9.  A short technical question - What's your hardware and software of choice?

– Digital

(I prefer naturally Built-in Home Studio recordings, I have always recorded digital. I just prefer it a more natural process, plus there’s more you can produce and work with in it as well)

10.   How do you see your creative progress as so to in the future? How do you relate it to your gained spiritual insights?

All truth. It's always been and has been for endless therapeutic Artistic Expression (on My personal End, I cannot speak for the other members that were in the past) and I always found something so beautiful about that. Like nature giving back to me via as a Musician and feeding me my Mind healthy. For motivations, experiences and things that go on in Life. I correlate it to many other factors in my lyrical themes pertained in many aspects of the Psyche, Mind and beyond! To motivate myself, understand realization upon reflection in the World and surroundings that accumulate to myself and for many others out there that wandering to interpret a fond sense of that lost in darkness feeling they're sensing or going through. Yet very much so a certainty of gleam of Hope and faith in themselves. Learning this concept for so long, it's helped me tremendously. Not just to help myself, but to inspire and help and give other fans something to dwell and ponder upon. I do the music I do, because I like to do it and enjoy the style I chose. Mostly all my lyrics I write are cryptic, paint a story, or are symbolic in many elements and attributes. Simply, because I don’t just sing about myself. Some musicians do that and ONLY sing about themselves. I at times find that selfish and self-centered. I try not to sing about myself so much, instead I enjoy to relate it both ways. It's interpreted for other listeners so that they too can also feel, sense, appreciate and take into regard everything as something they’ve chosen to acknowledge in one way, or another and value it in a way of their own stance or personal response. It’s all relative and open for interpretation. At least that’s what I usually try to portray for people that hear Neurotic Carousel; to consider this. I’ve managed to put that actual Spectrum into effect for everyone who hears.  

I’ve evolved with this in my Life. There’s countless of other reasons as to so much other passions. It helps me grow and escape from Reality, when I need too. Just as any other musician would say. It would be difficult to pin point one exact source or idealistic word for it. All I know is, I find meaning and I feel so many positive driven emotions that fuel me up when I write and sing. Therefore, I do Neurotic Carousel. On a Spiritual basis, I feel like I’ve exceeded from where I’ve first started 15 years ago, and evolved tremendously. Myself as a person has gone far from this position and I see myself standing back 15 years from now, looking at myself back in a Mirror’s reflection. Seeing how far this has gotten me. I’ve learned a lot along the way. I’m not talking about music. I’m talking about my Own Life as well. Life in general, I’ve suffered from many things. Personal and traumatic. Everything for that matter. But I’m still here. Glad to be. Music has been beneficial in all forms. It’s helped me so much. For this I’m thankful for. That’s the Spiritual side to how I’ve gained insight on my inner and outside reflection.

11.  Do you also paint AND/OR draw? Tell us about that a bit.

All of them. Better with Drawing and/or with Watercolor. I've recently adapted a better passion for Mixed Media Painting too recently. New with Collages. I've gotten better at painting now. I've been working at being proficiently better as I go.

12.   How has your experience on Deviantart enfolded? Has it been positive for the most part?

Tremendously and on an inspirational level to network with other Artists. It’s opened all new Port Ways for myself. Met good friends and interesting individuals. It’s helped me touch base and understand myself as well.

13.   Who and what have influenced your musical taste throughout the years?

All sorts of movie Soundtracks, Psychological / Horror Movies, The Twilight Zone, creative ideas, Silent Hill series, organic noises and experimenting with sound effects, imaginative mindful concepts that portray some type of plot or image, some sort of insanity that symbolizes something, Life, Birth, Death, Experiences, Spirituality, Natural Inner Darkness, painted thoughts, Friends, people I've lost and mostly My Mind in general.

14.   Do you engage in collecting – music or anything else?

Yes. I collect music every now and then. I always find it refreshing to hear and know to find, people that still buy authentic CD’s, cassette tapes and Vinyl. I do the same. If money permits on spare moments and times aren’t rough financially.

I collect all sorts of strange weird things too. I love gemstones, fossils and crystals. Taxidermy Moths. All sorts of Vintage stuff. I collect Switch blades, knives and daggers. Abstract stuff. Oddities. Useful various one-of-a-kind handmade things (things that are handmade, things that no one has, Custom Made. heh) , especially if they are specially customized by the Artist that I know that personally made it themselves for me. I've become an odd pack rat recently..

15.   What kind of music do you listen to – and in which moods?

Right now or recently that I can think of: Tori Amos, Tom Waits, Akira Yamaoka (Silent Hill video game series Soundtrack composer), Olivier Latry his entire Volume Collection Set (Greatest Organist of our Generation, plays and works at Notre Dame Cathedral in France), Sopor Aeternus, Tool, Jarboe, Anaal Nathrakh, Portal, Autumn’s Grey Solace, Radiohead, SWANS, Massive Attack, Unexpect, David Bowie (RIP), Joy Division, Mike Patton, Acid Bath, Peter Hollens, Napalm Death, Johnny Cash and all sorts of movie soundtracks honestly. As you can maybe notice, I’m sorta eclectic. It would take hours and hours for me to name drop what I've been hearing. I listen to a lot.

Moods? Any. Mostly creative or simply to enjoy; sit back relax, coffee. Other times, listening to gather ideas and inspiration. Sometimes, the way I’m feeling the tone of sound in the music I listen to will fluctuate with the theme of the emotions I’m feeling during the moment of music I listen too, during those periodical moments, yes. I think this is the case, with many people. Overall, I enjoy all of it! Uplifts me, each way in one way or the other for many certain reasons. I love to listen to music! I even find myself listening to my own too at times.

I also listen to binaural beats to meditate and relax too. The calming low frequency type, only though. I cannot and will not listen to the “Chaotic” Third Eye - Pineal Gland extreme simulated stimulation type ones’! Hell NO! Ha-ha, I’ll have a seizure with that. Too overwhelming!

16.   I know you are also a prolific writer who released his novels in the wild. Do you see your writing as being related to music – perhaps as being musical?

Absolutely. From the start, till now. It’ll continue to be this way. I feel as a lead vocalist and main Mind, who writes the lyrics, allowed too at least. All the band members from Neurotic Carousel have been pleased with my lyrical writing themes overall. With this and welcoming this input shows the creative side of themselves, myself, all of us and reflects the nature of the band. I’ve always shown this, as I mentioned earlier. I express the “darker” Psychological attributes and elements of the Mind of Neurotic Carousel. Convey it as, strong as I can. It also comes naturally. Just as the artistic flow does. Since it’s already there and was always embedded in me. So yes, the writing has always been related to the music. Fits with it, in its own sense of Creation.

17.   Tell our readers about your published novel - The Codex Veil: Containment (Book 1).

The Codex Veil: Containment (Book 1), was meant to be a 5-book Psychological / Paranormal series. Only the first one was published in early 2014. It was a collaboration between me and my brother, the same one who started and birthed Neurotic Carousel with me. Well due to severe contracting disputes, the 5-book series came to an end. So, it will never be finished. It is sadly and unfortunately being, discontinued and will not be finished ever for that matter. The Novel series that is. My time was wasted. Just drafting and puzzling them together in story sequences. All we had left to do was, write out the books, one by one. Only Containment (Book 1), was released. Then discontinued and out of print. Or limited availability. One would be lucky to find a used copy on ebay? Maybe? Who knows?

I was upset over this, I won’t discuss the dispute. But what I was mostly angry about, was it took almost about “4 precious years” of my, Life to write out all 5 novels. It was a true waste of my work and time. With those 4 years, I could have already had 2 of my Original solo novels out. For sure one. The saddest part is, “The Codex Veil” had enormously powerful potential for a series. This could have become the next Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Hunger Games, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, The Walking Dead movie or TV series or something? Not kidding. It was truly Original and refreshing for what the plot and story line was. Nothing like this series, had ever been close to being created or written. It was NOT FANTASY Paranormal. Everything was as true to Life as it became and the characters were very well developed. Excellent cliff hangers, it was one of those novels you never know what to expect next. The story line writing was written out superbly. It was based realistically on Our World and the Paranormal of subjectivity that can “actually” happen by breaking boundaries and does! Well that didn’t happen after the first book finished being released, oh well. Literally. It went down the drain.

Here’s a link to the Novel, anyone interested, “The Codex Veil: Containment (Book 1)”:


At least I learned a, valuable principle. At this point forward, I decided to just go fully Solo alone and do my Own novels. I was finished collaborating after such a long waste of years, thrown down a gutter.

Such a pity too. This was an outstanding series!!! I got my hopes up. Oh well.

18.   A bird has whispered to me that you're also about to publish a new novel – The Iris – is that correct? Tell us about this forthcoming novel please, with spoilers?

Yes. I am. A forthcoming novel,

“The Iris”. Will be my Official 1st full length Novel, a Worldwide release! So, when you read it, you WILL be reading my Own upfront style of writing. I’ve taken my time with this one, I didn’t care. I want to make sure it’s the best it is. Especially since it’s my first release. After my last departure with “The Codex Veil” offset leaving me building blocks again to having to restart on this. I touch based with this new piece. Honestly, I lost thousands of fragments. But it just clicked in that one moment one day and I realized my inspiration.  

Oh gosh, where to begin with such a massive Odyssey and monstrosity, it came to be? “The Iris” is an EXPERIMENTAL Psychological / Paranormal / Horror based theme-Novel on reality.

Without giving away too much, the book takes place in United States, Texas to be exact. The outskirts, in a small northwestern town. Nearby the Wood side areas. Dylan Davenport is the main Protagonist of the novel.

I’ll give a link excerpt soon however here:

PROLOGUE EXCERPT - www.neuroticcarousel.com/journ…

A half portion of it, is non-fiction and based on my Life and traumatic experiences I’ve been through and dealt with. All the names have been changed, including mine; the Protagonist for safety and privacy. The other half is Fiction. It’s blended in together, within different time frames, so you won’t know exactly what’s going on or what happened to each character in certain moments or which parts were my life. Periodically or the books time frames.

Here’s where the EXPERIMENTAL part of the book comes in. Many would think to themselves, how can a book have experimentalism in it? The only way I can justify this, is I’ll allow those readers to decide on that and be the judge, for themselves as you read it. You’ll notice; the Novel tends to mess with your Mind in many ways. The Book is called “The Iris” for a reason. It has many twist and turns. Cliff hangers. You’ll never know what to expect. Every time we meet a new character, we see through their eye color of their Iris? Consider their eye, we see something new or hidden? Or possibly their Life’s background story. It’ll pause, sometimes goes inside of it. Everything stops. Then everything, will continue with the story line. You’ll eventually find out why? The reason. Or the why, later? This is just some elements of the “experimental” part. You piece the entire book like a puzzle, so you do have to read it all the way through. To understand it, you cannot skim through the book.

Many will find “The Iris” a bit gruesome, disturbing and highly controversial in Christianity/Catholicism terms. I WARN you now, if you don’t like horror, psychological terror novels that manipulate your mind or are too intense for some readers, don’t read it! If you are a fanatical Catholic DO NOT read this Novel “The Iris”. Stay away from it. It will more than likely offend you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I don’t care if you don’t like it. I didn’t write this book intentionally to shock or scare people. This Novel genuinely and naturally became what it was. That’s what I find so unique and organic about it. Half of it’s based on my Life, even. For those that can stomach to the end of the book, you’ll find yourself an extraordinary ending worth it. I promise you that!

19.   What's your relationship with the written word? Is it a love-hate relationship many writers and poets describe often?

I’m not sure I get this question? But I will say, I write my Own words. Personally, on my will I always do and in my Own way. Everything I create is with passion behind everything I bring to existence. I coexist in this moment to make meaning in the integrity of what I get across and I do my best to help others. I try not so hard to be a perfectionist these days, but be naturally satisfied with my work; to where I feel it’s been done to its best fullest potential. I don’t label myself with clichés, I try not to as much. Usually it’s difficult too, in any case. I’m directly upfront with honesty and speak my Mind. It’s just how I am. As an Artisan and Human being.

20. Whom do you look up as being inspirational and influential in your eyes?

Michio Kaku, Alex Grey, Osho, Rod Serling, Jorge Luis Borges, Danielewski. Several Other Minds, including yourself. Ever since we've met, I found you quite inspirational, on many levels you've been an Artisan to me to differentiated extents and as a Spiritual seeker guide; you've been a great comrade and found confidant in me and have inspired countless others. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for this. My Own Mind included, I too do not give myself enough confidence as well. Every Spiritual Creative should do so.

21.   We have many young readers; therefore, I'd appreciate some words of wisdom from you that will potentially help them in their journey.

Positive Health Wise: Be a Leader. Do what you feel is right in your Body, Mind and Soul. Never take life for granted. Find yourself in this World. Find and fulfill your reason, your meaning. Because you do serve a, significant purpose in this Universe. Find something strong worth living for and hold onto it. When you lose something or someone, eventually after the healing process. You still must live your life, that’s all one can do. The responsive choice that’s the healthiest is to move on. It’s what a, loved one would want you to do. Not harm yourself. Always remember that Life gives you brand new opportunities, opens new doorways. Never lose hope, no matter how tough it gets. Things are supposed to be this way, but it always remains constant. That’s the beauty of Nature. It’s never an ending to the World. I know that can be tough, it’s easier said than done. But stay strong no matter the difference. Every day is different. Remember, you might have issues and severe problems; but just note to yourself someone somewhere far out there, or on the other side of the World has it way worse than you. You should be thankful. Just for being alive or not being blind or completely paralyzed. Believe in yourself, don’t be afraid to be who you are. Have goals and aspirations in Life. Follow through with them. Help others, because in return the Universe gives back and so do those people you’ve helped. If you’re in a situation, only you yourself can most the percentage of the time solve it or improve to make it better. Do it for the best, be kind to others, it pays off. Think positive. Have trust in at least one person in this World. You won’t make it, without at least support from one person. Make every day count.

That’s my advisory, do what you will with my words of wisdom. Select the ones you like, if there are any you agree with too. It’s all relative. I meant all of them with sincerity.

22.   Would you say you're an optimist or a pessimist? Please elaborate.

Overall, I stay on an Optimist level. But Life is not of this nature. There’s never an ultimate balance. We all have awful days; ugly horrible inevitable tragedies happen to us. We get angry and hostile with the World, at humanity, friends and family, people, society, all generalized roots that will trigger us, that can make us look at things differently from personal experiences. However, the neutrality of tug of war between the optimism and the pessimist is truly in the perspective of how I see the Hour Glass Pendulum during those times. Even time frames. But usually I keep my head up overall, like I said. I know things pass. I wouldn’t ultimately want to live my Life miserably, with a misanthrope perspective of the World. We were born for better things, than to just look at all the negatives in Life. It’s the same as being completely one-sided and narrow minded.

I feel Optimism and pessimism are both coexistent, are natural. The actuality is, which do you prefer to live life under perspective with.

23.   Have you ever imaged another life, aka a different kind of life than the conscious embodiment of a lifetime you've been given? If so, please tell us about that.

Being now as what I am and was gifted. I cannot answer this question.

24.   Towards the end, let's play a game. Name the first association that comes to your mind in regard to:

a.     Death –  Enlightenment

b.     Nightmares – Symbolism

c.     Love – Confusion

d.     Violence –  Egotism

e.     School – Knowledge

f.       Politics – Control

g.     Third eye – Pathway

h.     Sexuality – Sequence or Comfort

i.       Psychedelics – The Unknown

j.       Enlightenment – Death

k.     Materialism – Worthless Compensation

l.       Science – Nature’s Math

m.   Friendship – Inner-self

n.     Nature – Geology

o.     The Universe – Pantheism

p.     UFOs – Life

q.     Monsters – Depends by Monsters!? Cryptids / The Mothman??? Humanity??  

r.      Counterculture – Evolving movement

s.     Homeland – Nascent

t.      Genius – Gift

u.     Ghosts – A Psychic Medium / or possible Loneliness

v.     Idolatry – Santa Claus vs. Krampus! the Ultimate Final Battle! Haa!

I'd appreciate it if you end up this interview with a message from the depth of your being, something that our readers could all cherish for the rest of their lives!

Whoever and wherever you are, that is reading this? I’d like to leave off saying to all the readers, that I hope one day in this World you’ll find some genuine joy and fulfillment in your Life that’ll lead you to happiness. I wish the best, for all of you to find yourself in this Reality. Discover what meaning is to you. What your purpose is and become one day enlightened with WHO YOU ARE? That’s ultimately coming sincerely from my heart. Live your life freely and to the fullest! My kindest regards.

Mark Cavazos-

Neurotic Carousel-

I also, thank you for this very first interview, “Wings of an Angel”, I very much appreciated it and am thankful to have you interview me, my many thanks and solidarity! Cheers!


Contact: neuroticcarousel@yahoo.com


Yours Humbly & Sincerely,

Wings of an Angel


© 2017 - 2020 IntuitiveMoth
-Notes: Neurotic Carousel's very first public media interview, held and done by - the Legendary "Unearthly-Demagogue". March 2017.
The creator and Mind behind the Carousel and front man vocalist, Mark Cavazos discusses music, art and spirituality all in one.


Copyrighted © 2017 by Neurotic Carousel. All rights reserved.


wingsofanangel.bandcamp.com/ << "UnearthlyDemagogue" aka WingsofanAngel Music / Reviewer - on Bandcamp

This album was in my appreciative dedication, by the same Interviewer: wingsofanangel.bandcamp.com/al…

Mark Cavazos of Neurotic Carousel.
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