i hope i die on a cloudy day,
because i want the sun to mourn me.
& when the birds fly south for the winter,
i want them to tuck my name under their feathers
like a prayer
and carry it somewhere i'll never go.
i watch the leaves turn fiery,
& decay in mass graves on the ground.
my throat catches, stopping me
from making another sound.
when the snow starts to fall,
& evergreens are the only life around—
i won't be there to see it.
i feel like this is sad, but that isn't how i mean it