Nearing my 30s it really feels like a taboo to say this because I hate it when people say this…
I’m really resenting me having a huge audience with art when I was forming my skill, when I was pretty cringey and edgy. Like in my mid teens and early 20s it was stupidly easy to hook an audience.
These days when I’m a lot more skilled, I’m having a hard time finding any audience. and I’m actually trying now.Like it’s not really on a weekly basis but I’m trying to get art out on a more regular schedule. I’m working on a comic and I am self conscious as fuck about it because this is something people make for money. Like…$500 a page.
They say to do art and what you enjoy butI’m getting worn out here. Art takes up so much of my time and I do it for free for an audience that isn’t really even 10 people. Occasionally if I draw fanart a fan blog picks it up and I get a few dozen notes but even that is hit or miss.
This coincides with a job I don’t necessarily hate, though I feel imprisoned by. I get lenient hours and I make a decent chunk and somehow I can do it working part-time. The reason I feel imprisoned by it is because the only way to move up and make more money is to work 50+ hour weeks for years at a time. I could make 75k a year but I know what my superiors do and I do not envy them. I don’t have the mind to stand in one place doing the same thing for up to 16 hours a day.
But I don’t know of any other job that affords me the flexibility and pay I currently have.I kinda just feel like curling up and dying.