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About Literature / Hobbyist Patrick26/Male/United States Group :iconwritten-life: Written-Life
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Love and Logic :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 1 8
Mature content
He Says He Loves You, but... :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 1 6
Literature
Untitled
Independence:
Must be on her own.
She needs others.
But she shouldn't.
The conflict:
deeply rooted
tightly tied
hard to confront.
Battles:
Does she fight?
Does she surrender?
Does she die?
Outcome:
Happiness?
Turmoil?
Lost?
The fortune:
Cloudy.
The glass is hard to read.
Where is she going?
The anchor:
Is it there?
What is it?
How does she get to it?
Hope:
She seeks.
She tries.
But she cannot find.
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 1 0
Literature
But You Don't
It's been 3 months since we last spoke.
You suddenly disappeared and stopped responding.
I hoped you'd return within a few days...
but you don't.
It's okay; this has happened once before.
Something got in the way of us being able to talk.
You'll only be gone a short time; then you'll come back...
but you don't.
The days turn to weeks.
The weeks turn to months.
Maybe someday you'll come back and things will be fine again...
but you don't.
I can only hope you're okay.
I don't have the answers... just the fears.
I want to hear you tell me everything is okay...
but you don't.
Who knows what is happening.
I can only imagine what you're going through.
I wish you could come back so I can be your shelter...
but you don't.
I try to act as if everything is okay.
I proceed with my life pretending you're still there.
If only that were true and you really did come back...
but you don't.
I remember our talks
about how you want a future together.
If only you came back so we can make that happen...
bu
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Literature
Without You
I may be fed and nurtured,
but I still starve for your love.
I may seem upbeat and friendly,
but my inside is dark without your light.
I may seem to still succeed in life,
but my dreams are incomplete without you.
I seem to be on track with my goals,
but the life path I'm on now is still a lie.
---
I may seem to be able to live my life alone...
but without you, everything is just an illusion.
My life means nothing to me
without you there to be a part of it.
:'(
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Mature content
So You're Assuming... :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Literature
Imprisoned Protection
The innocent are at risk.
"They" try to protect them.
But all their laws do
is imprison them in helplessness.
They label them as weak.
They label them as liars.
"They lie about being harmed
(despite us protecting them from such)."
Can't you see your laws are flawed?
All you're doing is keeping them from growth.
If you really want the innocent to be safe,
you must let the innocent confront their darkness.
Protection is just a fat lie.
All it does is imprison them.
One must face the darkness
in order to shine their light.
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Human Lovinity in a floral dress by infinitelove143 Human Lovinity in a floral dress :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 4 2
Mature content
Quickly Gone as is Quickly Started :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 2 5
Literature
Literary Pictionary: Beautiful Heat
Looking out the window of my quaint small house on Main Street, I took note of the dull appearance of the sky. The colors of the sky were rather gray with an appearance of sadness, of low energy, and of a rainy day ahead. The sun was nowhere to be found as it hid behind the layers of thick clouds passing overhead. Today was going to be a sad, rainy day.
...or so I thought.
What I didn't realize was today was also going to be a hot one-- temperatures climbing way up into the 100-degree range. The weatherman didn't tell us that. Usually, he was very accurate with giving us all the information we need. But why would he neglect to tell us about the dangerous heat wave of today?
I didn't think about the heat as I mindlessly browsed through the television channels, watching various cartoons. But then, it happened. Quickly, the temperatures climbed up outside. Soon, it was in the high 90-degree range. Then, it broke the 100-degree mark. Before I knew it, I had turned
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:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Literature
Leon's Portal Prologue Chapter 0.5
(please read chapters 0.1-0.4 first)
(The following takes place in a dream that the girl [we now know she's Lovinity as a human] was having as she slept on the couch in the radio studio.)
Lovinity found herself in Equestria as her pony form. She was on the outskirts of the Everfree forest, a dense vegetation area that is also known to be somewhat dangerous. Lovinity took a nervous gulp as she gently parted the thick leaves so she could enter, being careful not to step on any foreign plants that may have poison in them, even though she had her horse shoes on. Slowly she entered the forest, hearing a few sounds of far-away creatures among the otherwise silent air.
After a long 5 minutes, she ran into whom she was looking for: Queen Chrysalis.
"Q-queen?" Lovinity asked out softly. Queen Chrysalis turned around and chuckled as she saw lovinity, rather small compared to her.
"Well well well who do we have here?" Queen Chrysalis asked with a smile. "Are you going to be a tasty meal for my hi
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Literature
Leon's Portal Prologue Chapter 0.4
(Please read chapters 0.1-0.3 to make sense of 0.4)
It was no more than three minutes after I called the Student Health center when a nurse came down to the radio studio with a blood pressure thing and a few other basic medical tools. I stood by the girl as the nurse put the blood pressure cuff on her arm and began measuring her blood pressure and pulse. It was unusually quiet in the studio as the nurse did so, but good news came about.
"Her blood pressure is a little high but is still alright," the nurse stated. She then gently nudged the girl to try and wake her up.
She uttered a coo and slowly opened her eyes.
"Hi there," the nurse said. "I'm one of the nurses from campus. I just need you to open your mouth so I can check your temperature. Your friend was worried and wanted me to check your vitals to make sure you're okay. You seem to have passed out on the couch."
She nodded and opened her mouth for the thermometer. Gently the nurse inserted it in her mouth and under her tongue, qu
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143
:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Literature
Leon's Portal Prologue chapter 0.3
(Please read chapters 0.1 and 0.2 first to make sense of chapter 0.3)
As the girl was about to tell me what she was going to tell me, she got interrupted by an alarm from her skirt pocket. She pulled out her phone and looked at it.
"Grr," she uttered. "I-I'm sorry I have to go, this is urgent."
"What did you want to tell me?" I asked.
"No time. I'll find you later." She quickly got up and kissed my cheek as quick as a flash of light, causing me to blush deep. But before I could react, she had her book bag on and had already scurried off.
Damn. That was a huge disappointment. I was so wanting to know what she knows that I apparently don't. It seems to be something of great importance. Plus her leaving me kept the thoughts on my mind. How did she know my name? How did she know Lovinity? Why did she "test" me on my knowledge of Lovinity? What the heck is going on? Is she trying to play a game with me? ...and why did she kiss my cheek?
Nevertheless, I grabbed my plush and sighed, headed do
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:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 2 3
Literature
Leon's Portal Prologue Chapter 0.2
I decided after a few more minutes of antics with my friend in the radio studio, it was time to head up to meet this mystery woman I ran into not too long ago.
As I began walking towards the corridor that she specified to me to meet up at, Lovinity plush in hand, I was getting rather nervous. Several questions passed in my mind, trying to figure things out before we even met, which was typical of analytical me. I wondered who she was, whether or not I've met her before online on any pony role playing websites since she seems to be a fan of Lovinity. No one would spend on custom sneakers with Lovinity's cutie mark on them unless they were a fan of Lovinity's. There would be no point. But what had me questioning is why she seemed to act so tense and nervous around me... and why she wanted to meet in a secluded area of campus. Even more, how's come her vibe seems so familiar to me? It's like I knew her already when I don't.
I finally reached the spot where we planned to meet, but the girl
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:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 10
Literature
Leon's Portal Prologue chapter 0.1
"There's a guy who has recently been giving out free Donald Trump tattoos to Trump supporters," my Media Criticism professor explained as we neared the end of today's class. "That may be all fine and dandy, but come 5... 10 years from now, you can't help but to wonder one day they wake up from a bad dream and see their Donald Trump tattoo after he's destroyed society." The class uttered a quiet chuckle at his ripping on Donald Trump, a republican candidate for the 2016 presidential election.
"But to get back on topic, the idea of pragmatism is somewhat opposite of semiosis. One involves that the interpretant determines the meaning of a sign, and the other says the way a sign is interpreted determines the interpretant." He then took a glance at the clock, realizing he had run out of time. "Keep that in mind as you complete your quiz on Thursday, and we'll meet back here on Tuesday."
As we headed out of the class, I walked holding my Lovinity pony plush with one of my classmates discussi
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:iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 0 0
Mature content
Love is a Dream :iconinfinitelove143:infinitelove143 2 18
You were the sun in my sky
Even when the stars all died
You were gonna make me shine
You made me shine 'cause

I was born forever your guide
For all of my life
...was gonna be by your side

And I'd be there when you fall, yeah
And there was no pain at all

And I was your shelter
Your shelter from the storm
Yeah always was your shelter
I'd be there if you fall
And if you walked a lonely road
Know that you weren't alone
Cos I was your shelter
Your shelter from the storm

---

But times have changed, you're now gone
This sun's burned out, no more dawn
It's time to close out this song
A new song starts cause

Though this shelter is foreclosed,
I'm proud of the path you chose
You're strong; combat those woes

Still, I'll be there when you fall, yeah
And they'll be no pain at all

And I'll be your shelter
Your shelter from the storm
Yeah always be your shelter
I'll be there if you fall
And if you walk a lonely road
Know that you're not alone
Cos still here, is your shelter,
your shelter from the storm.


(Parody to Dash Berlin - Shelter)

Activity


You were the sun in my sky
Even when the stars all died
You were gonna make me shine
You made me shine 'cause

I was born forever your guide
For all of my life
...was gonna be by your side

And I'd be there when you fall, yeah
And there was no pain at all

And I was your shelter
Your shelter from the storm
Yeah always was your shelter
I'd be there if you fall
And if you walked a lonely road
Know that you weren't alone
Cos I was your shelter
Your shelter from the storm

---

But times have changed, you're now gone
This sun's burned out, no more dawn
It's time to close out this song
A new song starts cause

Though this shelter is foreclosed,
I'm proud of the path you chose
You're strong; combat those woes

Still, I'll be there when you fall, yeah
And they'll be no pain at all

And I'll be your shelter
Your shelter from the storm
Yeah always be your shelter
I'll be there if you fall
And if you walk a lonely road
Know that you're not alone
Cos still here, is your shelter,
your shelter from the storm.


(Parody to Dash Berlin - Shelter)

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She is the most adorable, understanding, loving woman I have had the pleasure to meet.
I have fallen so hard for her and want to give her everything I can...
because in the end, I want her to feel loved, secure,
happy.

Love is an amazing emotion.
It can give us the drive and the motivation to push past all our fears for the happiness of the one we love.
Love is an emotion that somehow defies all rules of logic and reasoning.
And yet, here we are.

Anything can happen. Anything is possible.
Despite how genuine I feel this all is, and how genuine she seems to be...
despite having had several voice chats and video chats,
the thought still lurks in my mind about whether or not this is all real.

It could all very well be real.
Her dangers and experiences could be accurate to a T.
She could love me just as much as she says she does and what she shows.
She could very well want to be here so I can help her overcome her fears and challenges.

But it could very well not be real as well.
Maybe it's someone else using a woman as a clutch in the video sessions.
Maybe she doesn't actually love me like she says she does.
Maybe she purposely drops away for months as she sees someone else, and lies about why she was gone.

...after all, why would she make no effort to use another person's phone to let me know she is okay?
Why would she literally drop off of the face of the internet so suddenly without warning and become unresponsive everywhere?
...or perhaps is she actually unable to reach me...
what if the danger is actually much worse than she says, to the point she literally has no contact during this time?

So many possibilities... so many emotions.
Such is love, especially a long distance love.
The question is, what should I do?
I don't even know anymore.

Have I been love blind?
Is there a truth I'm not seeing because I'm caught in the emotion?
What do I do?
What the fuck is wrong with me???

Logically, I should have quit by now.
Logically, there's no reason for me to trust her and love her as much as I do.
Logically, if she was staging me, she has me by the balls and could royally fuck me up.
I'm taking a big risk with this all... and logically, the payout shouldn't be worth it.

But yet, I fight on.
It feels morally wrong to stop and give up on her.
What if her safety really is in jeopardy,
and there is something I actually can do for her?

Maybe a human life is all I need
to put all logic and reasoning aside.
Even if she was staging me, and I was blinded by the truth...
is it really worth to quit now when the potential exists for a life to be on the line?

Is love worth fighting for, even when odds are against you?
Is love worth fighting for, even when you're not absolutely certain it is real?
Is love worth fighting for, when many long distance relationships similar to mine have failed miserably due to dishonesty?
Am I just desperate for that love?

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.
Somehow, someway though, I keep fighting...
because something tells me deep inside that I shouldn't quit
even when logic says this is crazy and so many things could be wrong / go wrong.

Could it be my intuition? Or is it just love blindness?

Who knows anymore...
But whatever the case...
I still want to fight for her happiness...
even if this is all a lie in the end...
Love and Logic
When does love and logic dangerously cross lines?
Loading...
We may be out of contact again. It may have been 4 months. But I am not giving up on you.
My love for you still burns bright and burns deep <3 .
Someday, we will talk again.

Someday, I will give you what no one else has ever given you before... love, support, trust, understanding, compassion, and happiness.

Someday, you won't need to starve yourself anymore.
Someday, you won't need to harm yourself anymore nor consider suicide.
Someday, you won't need to fear anymore.
I will be there for you through everything.
Someday, I will see that beautiful smile of yours that tells the world that for once, you are happy. <3

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This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
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He says he loves you, but he would rather watch the football game than listen to how your day went.
He says he loves you, but he makes you do all the chores because he's the one who works (even when you work too).
He says he loves you, but he also says you're flawed, and through his love, he is going to make you "better".
He says he loves you, but expects you to have sex with him when he wants it.
He says he loves you, but he criticizes you when you weigh too much or don't look "pretty".
He says he loves you, but he yells at you when you're emotional and wants you to stop crying.
He says he loves you, but he makes all the decisions because he doesn't trust you to do what is best.
He says he loves you, but he gets jealous when you spend time with other people instead of him.
He says he loves you, but refuses to acknowledge and be a part of your family and/or anyone who is close to you.
He says he loves you, but blames you for all of his own mistakes.
He says he loves you, but he lashes out at you and puts you down instead of grabbing your hand and saying "Let's work on this together".
He says he loves you, but expects you to pleasure him in bed but does not return the pleasure.
He says he loves you, but refuses to work together on something and would rather do everything his way.
He says he loves you, but he doesn't make time for you when you really want it.
He says he loves you, but he doesn't seem to have any actual interest in you, except maybe for your body.

---

You know he loves you when he listens attentively to you and removes distractions when you need someone to talk to.
You know he loves you when he helps you complete tasks instead of putting you down for not completing them.
You know he loves you when he praises and admires every facet about you without judgment.
You know he loves you when he acknowledges and respects your consent, or lack of consent.
You know he loves you when he thinks you're beautiful no matter how you look on the outside.
You know he loves you when he comforts you and offers his help when you're feeling down.
You know he loves you when decisions are made together instead of by one person.
You know he loves you when he wants you to continue spending time with your friends and family, and is even willing to come with you when you invite him.
You know he loves you when he loves everyone that matters to you.
You know he loves you when he admits to his own mistakes, apologizes, and actively works to prevent those mistakes in the future.
You know he loves you when he does not tear you down when you make mistakes, but instead grabs your hand and helps you on the right path.
You know he loves you when the pleasure is shared in bed.
You know he loves you when you're a part of everything he does in his life and wants to do and explore everything with you.
You know he loves you when he always finds a way to make time for you in his busy schedule.
You know he loves you when he has a drive to know more and more about you, and finds everything about you intriguing.

You know he loves you when his happiness comes from seeing YOU happy. <3
Independence:
Must be on her own.
She needs others.
But she shouldn't.

The conflict:
deeply rooted
tightly tied
hard to confront.

Battles:
Does she fight?
Does she surrender?
Does she die?

Outcome:
Happiness?
Turmoil?
Lost?

The fortune:
Cloudy.
The glass is hard to read.
Where is she going?

The anchor:
Is it there?
What is it?
How does she get to it?

Hope:
She seeks.
She tries.
But she cannot find.

deviantID

infinitelove143
Patrick
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
PATRICK:
I am Patrick Schmalstig. I'm about 5 feet 5 inches high, and weigh about 115 pounds (yes I'm skinny). I am a feminist. I'm not into the masculinity. Thus, and in addition to other things, I refer to myself as a Third Gender. I am a tech geek. I am very sensitive and emotional, and is also there for anyone who needs emotional support or just someone to listen. You may drop me a message or note if you'd like to talk with me. I respect everyone and what they go through. I've probably been there someway or another in most situations.

...oh and I'm very bubbly! XD

I live my life following one motto: Be Infinite Love. I think the world could use more love... a lot more love! My vision and dream is to show the world so much love... beyond what anyone could ever imagine!

My specialty in the art world is Poetry, mainly free verse. I also write prose. I usually write from the heart when I write poetry... it's not just some dumb words put on a piece of paper in a form... they have strong meanings behind them that can be unique to each reader. ...even the very very negative pieces have strong meanings behind them... so they're not necessarily written to scare people.

I sometimes give out llamas and points to those who interact with me.

Meaning behind my username and avatar: My username is infinitelove143. Being Infinite Love has been a motto I live by since my girlfriend opened me up into new spiritual dimensions. The number 143 represents the words "I love you". The avatar depicts the infinite love motto with a heart and the infinity symbol under it. The symbols are inside a tear drop, which the tear drop symbolizes refreshment, renewing, purity, pure of heart. The tear drop has a rainbow fog behind it, which represents the 7 basic chakras in order from bottom to top (Red: stability. Orange: Pleasure. Yellow: Abundance. Green: love. Blue: Communication. Violet: Intuition. White: Connection with the Spirit.). And the other colors and sparkles I added just for special effects !

Please check my works out and critique where possible. I highly appreciate that!
Interests

Journal History

Comments


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:iconth3ph0b1ap0n3:
Th3Ph0b1aP0n3 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :airborne:
Reply
:iconinfinitelove143:
infinitelove143 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank yee!
Reply
:iconth3ph0b1ap0n3:
Th3Ph0b1aP0n3 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
no prob
Reply
:iconbleedingpascal:
BleedingPascal Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Hi! It's me, NightmareFilly! Remeber me? :D
Reply
:iconinfinitelove143:
infinitelove143 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, but I'm as of today no longer a Brony.
Reply
:iconbleedingpascal:
BleedingPascal Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Why? :(
Reply
:iconinfinitelove143:
infinitelove143 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I have a journal up about it
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconleonagheringer:
LeonaGheringer Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Holey crud sauce I'm so sorry for dropping off the face of the planet with you the last few months. School was a lot more taxing than I thought and summer hasn't been much better. I have however finally been able to do some work on the Equestria girls version of Lovinity Hearts. This is the sketch for you to check out before I continue if you even want me to continue at this point. I fixed her boots and used a few more references to get proportions and stuff closer to right. I hope you like it and you can either reply to this comment or note me with feedback.

sta.sh/0cpx9ujlq1o

Again I'm so sorry for the long wait.
Reply
:iconinfinitelove143:
infinitelove143 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
*gasp* OMG she's sooooooo adorable <3 I like it just like that :) Feel free to continue. Great sketch!
Reply
:iconleonagheringer:
LeonaGheringer Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
It was exactly as I feared. The colors look too close to the same despite looking different off paper. Here's the picture completed anyway. You can post it if you want, and I named the colors used as well as put them in the corner on the picture in the sta.sh file. I really hope it is to your liking despite the technical difficulties.

Lovinity Hearts colored by LeonaGheringer
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