imconstipatedplz

The epiphany came to me just the other evening, like countless other craps, I was heaving hard and pushing like a pregnant broad summoning gleams of sweat and stress veins on my forehead. Then, suddenly I simply decided to lift my left leg high while simultaneously arching my torso and leaning my right butt cheek on the toilet. It would seem that this bodily configuration aligned my organs perfectly, creating a pseudo submarine torpedo tube that idiosyncratically mustered each log of excrement into a perfected clean drop into the bowl, resulting in a satisfying splash and a minimal amount of wipes thereafter. Further to this, I hypothesized a bowel movement that didn't require the usual pumping and pushing to eject the last blurb of brown nor a need, which is sometimes required, to 'chop one off' for a quick toilet exit. I shall call this move - the Skywalker.