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About Deviant Artist Jason MinerMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Literature
Foolish Heart
-Foolish Heart-
By Ilkarin
My mind is mired in chaos,
wrapped in solitude,
I am alone,
I am the one left behind,
you laugh and play,
while I simply decline.
What is a friend,
what is their meaning,
when one needs another most,
the turn their backs
too involved in other desires
to care, to know, to think.
Am I just a fool?
For I am feeling more like one,
as the days go on,
without a course to set sail for,
without love or compassion.
I gave my heart to the world,
that didn't care for any of it.
Where then, do I belong?
I too once held a solace,
flying high on wings of imagination and innocence,
both now feeling like decayed memories
surrounded by walls of hatred and ignorance.
Maybe I should turn my back,
curse your name,
and scream out the pain welling within.
Or perhaps I am just as I always was;
Believing myself a great hero,
when I am not but a fool with a big heart,
and my world is slowly turning to ash.
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
Doubt
-Doubt-
Here I am alone in my room,
in my head.
My body against the wall,
knees pulled up close,
as I embrace myself in hopes to calm the storm within.
I can feel the fury and rage building,
like the smoldering kindles of flames to the fire,
and my head falls down,
trying to hold back the river of tears.
What am I to you?
A friend?
support?
a shining light against the descent of humanity?
I feel it all slowly slipping away,
like grains of sand through the fingers.
Am I just stuck in the past,
as much as I say I do not,
or is it more I do not wish to believe that the greatest joys I once felt are all once more falling out of reach...
Getting up,
I walk outside,
with wetness in my eyes,
and see the bright,
clear skies above,
returning some energy to this weakened state I am in.
But inside and throughout,
I must fight onward;
try to be strong,
even if I am not.
So often I want to give in to more hollow desires,
to rage and destroy,
to scream at everyone in a primal roar showing the temper
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 0 0
Literature
Bonds
-Bonds-
The bonds we share,
one another,
between the distance,
a heartfelt compassion of friends in spirit and soul,
mutual love for company,
strength,
admiration and comfort:
To wipe away the tears,
and to laugh together,
to be a friend of mine,
by deed,
by word,
by love.
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
Weight of False Promises
-Weight of False Promises-
By: Ilkarin
Bound up and chained,
Set ablaze and fury contained,
Powers of darkness swell,
Let my heart fill with a plight
Of sorrowful years
To unleash the rage and anguish,
Against thinly veiled promises,
Another life swept up in the abyss,
Of hellish demons
Crying out for release against the strife,
In a violent fury unleashed.
For the world was once so innocent and pure,
In those childish eyes I still believe it to be true,
But so much corruption pollutes this galactic sphere we live upon,
Can these fallen angels see the light, and one day hope to fly again?
What becomes of a person when their skills expire,
And they no longer can sustain themselves
Against the hogwash of rapidly shifting innovation?
Can I then,
So beaten,
Fallen,
Broken,
One day ascend back,
And hold tight to that little glimmer of purity,
And soar amongst the clouds,
As I did as a child...
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
City of Darkness
-City of Darkness-
By: Ilkarin
I walked along the road, feeling the rain splattering down against my jacket and against my hair.
Every step felt like I was walking on lead feet, time slowing down to a crawl as the shadows of the night and cloudy sky. I can see the faces around me, lost souls huddling against their rags and whatever security they can for warmth against the oncoming chill.
I raise my view to the sky, feeling the rain flow against my body, soaking my clothing and sending chills against my body, a breath escaping my lips like a ghost in the evening air.
The thump of more footfalls resounding in my ears against the cold street I am walking upon, hands in my pockets and my gaze once more against the road, hoping for a sense of peace, of solace against the lonely phantoms that dare to devour what little joy I keep sacred inside of myself.
I stop a few paces down by the end of the corner, leaning back against a nearby building, a towering colossus of metal and iron, a hand goi
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
Another Scar of Rejection
-Another Scar of Rejection-
By: Ilkarin
Let the darkness fall,
into the abyss from the stars and sky you used to soar,
wings torn and broken through the plague of decay,
a wall of blood, of anger presented before you,
the want to harness the very rage within,
and let it explode,
to bask in their cowering fear and rip those who harm to pieces.
To walk upon the shallow waters,
and see oceans floating about above into the heavens,
a floor once sturdy, now cracked and broken,
another scar to hide,
another bit of kindness,
gone with bitter armor.
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 2 0
Literature
Search for Happiness
-Search for Happiness-
Lost in the throes of a foggy night,
I feel the weariness of It all creep up on me,
No longer desiring to be in sorrow, anger, or loneliness.
Wanting to let go of those shackles and burdens placed upon me by forces beyond my control.
I turn my head away,
To forget the pain,
To endure and survive,
To believe once more in what matters.
So often one must wonder why life sometimes has such a cruel humor,
To benefit some, but put most through torment and suffering...
Do the lavish and pompous remember even they are born out of the same flesh into this world?
One can theorize a million possibilities but find no solution.
What does it mean to suffer,
To endure?
Are there rewards or benefits to the pain?
Surely we grow through conflict,
But is bitterness a better treasure than a smile?
How often I wish I could find the answer,
A resolution to all these worries and internal demons that pull at our mind and thoughts.
In the end, I do desire to feel that love and joy once a
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 2 0
Literature
-Finally Broken-By: Ilkarin
-Finally Broken-
By: Ilkarin

Is this all I am?
All I ever will be?
Just a lonely shadow,
Bereft of light and joy,
Despite my hopes and beliefs,
In the end,
It’s all for naught.
I am no hero,
No savior,
Nor spectacle of passion and glory to pay homage to.
I can feel my mind drifting away,
Like sands between my fingers.
I have wanted so long to rise beyond the shackles,
But they keep pulling me back and weighing me down.
Have they finally won?
I can feel the last vestiges of myself falling away,
Awakening long forgotten aggressions
As a haze of red swallows my vision.
A primal roar cries out for one unable to hold back the beast
And savagery fuels my motions.
Blood splatters about from those who stand in my way,
Beaten to an inch of life, and my fury hungers for more,
Far too long the suffering has not relented,
Too long I have let them walk over me,
I played nice while my ire rose,
And feasting upon their remains,
I lurk and hunt among the shadows,
A broken soul,
Finally sh
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 3 1
Literature
The Dead-End
-The Dead-End-
By: Ilkarin
The heavens above,
Streak raindrops with a crash of thunder,
My gaze once hopeful,
Now forlorn and vacant,
Beat down again by the nonsensical actions of the elite few.
A fist pounds into my chest,
And I crumple to my knees,
I plead for solace and understanding
Against the bitter taste of blood on my lips,
But there is no answer to calm me now,
No refuge to hide upon...
How much longer must I walk this dead-end?
How much more suffering and disappointment must beat me down and kick me to the curb?
Is this my lot in life?
I feel the anger once more swelling inside,
Wanting to burst in a fury of curses,
To destroy all that is pure,
All I have done,
Because it is all meaningless dust and ash to my burning hatred.
Why can I not escape this pit?
Whenever I finally elevate myself beyond the pettiness of the world,
Grasping hands drag me back into a pit of despair and sorrow...
Why are some allowed to soar,
And others chained to the earth,
With only hopes and dreams p
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 0 0
Literature
The Choice
-The Choice-
By: Ilkarin
Blood burns and eyes relinquish what a soul remains when torn asunder.
In burdens and bedlam,
They travel about to the beat of the drums to that cliff,
Only to fall into the abyss,
A place barren of light,
Of conscious, of hope and warmth.
How I long for the battles to end,
My victory so near,
But so worn and hounded I am.
By demons, by those needles of a past that won't let go
Shackled and broken in body,
But never in spirit,
A cry of defiance outward toward the night,
As we were once a proud people with great destinies,
Now shattered and ruined like shards of glass, so easy to give in,
To let the darkness consume you and lose sight of yourself in the mirrors reflection.
A pained memory,
A chance for redemption, can any achieve the heights to soar high into the sky,
When so many hands clutch and grab to drag you back within this nightmare of pain and blood,
But will you force the strength to burst from these bonds and ascend onward,
Or is this a final stand be
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
Dehumanized
-Dehumanized-
By: Ilkarin
And here we are now,
No longer immortal,
No longer infallible,
Nothing more than a fallen angel.
Can I still have hope to breathe,
To believe there is more beyond this endless decay,
To swallow my doubt and fear to stand strong,
When I have so little left inside of me?
Am I still human?
For my heart still beats,
And I exist among the world,
But inside,
Inside is wrapped in chains and locks,
Sealed shut to protect from the torture and torment,
Of callous men who thrive on pain.
To run away,
To feel awakened or renewed,
To know the endless death and grays washing out the world,
To know that the power of a smile still exists.
I want to no longer be shackled to this machination and dehumanization of life,
To watch days go by wasted in torment of the lone prison cell:
Four walls,
No exit,
Nothing but myself in the room.
The hours slow and grueling day in and day out,
And I consistently begin to wonder,
What better ways a day could be used than
Feeling yourself slow
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 3 0
Literature
-The Dead World-By: Ilkarin
-The Dead World-
By: Ilkarin

Again and again,
It trickles down like liquid silver,
Blood, sweat, and tears,
O’er how many years?
All vacant and gone in an instant,
To the corrupt who savage and destroy
What those of good hearts try to bring about.
The once proud and fertile soil falls to ash between my hands,
Structures and buildings long ago proud symbols of nations and history,
Are now naught but debris and the remains of fallen empires.
The skies a brilliant cerulean blue,
And a sun mastered the heavens to bring forth peace and tranquility.
But no more.
The horizon is deadened with grays and reds, a black burning orb throughout the cosmos.
Many will ask: ‘How did we come to this?’
More will wonder when it all fell apart...
Too late they could not realize there was something wrong all along,
But where did it hibernate?
Among the wealthy?
Among the ones in control and power?
Among the meek and laborious?
Among any and all in-between?
Who can truly say...
A loo
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 0 1
On a Hillside by Ilkarin On a Hillside :iconilkarin:Ilkarin 0 1
Literature
Persona
-Persona-
By: Ilkarin
Into the limitless space I find myself flying.
A thing without body, mind, or purpose.
But closer I come to the destination,
The more you can see.
Passing through the endless field of stars,
Into the orbit and atmosphere of the world,
A shape and form begin to coalesce together,
From particles of matter.
What do you see then?
What I that you have created among the internal imagery,
Behind those closed eyes?
How do I walk?
What do I say?
Where did I come from as a home?
Why am I here now before you?
So let the threads of this imaginative
Tapestry flow and expound from each stitch
A new thought is ready to spring to life.
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0
Literature
At the End
-At the End-
By: Ilkarin
Is this what we have become?
Flesh decayed and passions dismayed,
The rain no longer able to wash away
The burning flames of destruction.
A society broken and shattered,
The blind leading the blind,
A world ruled by sin,
Promises made, but never kept.
Hopes and dreams dying in chaos
Of centuries of rule by hypocrisy
The world turns as it burns,
Sheltered and smothered in the flames
Of greed, plague, famine, and war.
People one and the same,
Forever divided
By ideal or belief:
Never becoming united.
And upon it all, at the end,
When humanity breathes its last breath,
Great things naughty but ash and debris
What then was the point,
If all avenues meet the same end?
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 0 3
Literature
Tainted Quilt
-Tainted Quilt-
By: Ilkarin
Rage paints a tapestry,
woven in red silks and flashing lights.
The colors blend and bleed outward,
flesh sewn against the stitching of old war wounds.
A black eye and bruised figure staring back in shattered glass.
Every inch of cloth a new story,
a new wound to seal back up.
Gathering the needle and thread,
alcohol applied to the wound,
a burning blaze,
wanting the pain to end,
as we sew together the flesh as easily as any quilt.
Blood drips and trickles away as the thread is pulled and sealed,
collecting into a small puddle upon the floor as vacant stares glance ahead,
a loss of want and interest in the world,
and further to build the quilt of rage,
once started with white sheets,
now stained by battles and loss.
:iconIlkarin:Ilkarin
:iconilkarin:Ilkarin 1 0

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Activity


deviantID

Ilkarin
Jason Miner
Artist
United States
Favourite genre of music: Alternative Rock, Techno, and Videogame soundtracks but I'll listen to anything
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: Winamp
Wallpaper of choice: Anything that won't obscure text or icons
Personal Quote: Even if you don't believe in yourself, someone will always believe in you
Interests
Dunno how I really feel about this right now. Kinda excited and nervous as this has been a bit of years of work and perserverence to get this far, but I can say I wrote a novel as you can now purchase my full novel story "Shadows of the Past" on lulu.com

Here's the book - www.lulu.com/shop/c-jason-mine…

And E-Book - www.lulu.com/shop/c-jason-mine…
  • Playing: Final Fantasy IV After Years PSP

Comments


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:iconbahamut-255:
Bahamut-255 Featured By Owner May 1, 2017
Happy Birthday! :cake:
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:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2017  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday...
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:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner May 1, 2016  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday..
Reply
:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday..
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:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday..
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:iconbobcatt:
bobcatt Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday..
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:iconletdragon:
Letdragon Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013
I wanted to wish you an early Happy Birthday for tomorrow, since I'm going to be working then. Hope you've been well.
Reply
:iconletdragon:
Letdragon Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2012
Hey Iru, Happy Birthday. :)
Reply
:iconilkarin:
Ilkarin Featured By Owner May 1, 2012
Thank you.
Reply
:iconletdragon:
Letdragon Featured By Owner May 1, 2012
You're welcome. :)
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