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Reflections

Tue Nov 24, 2015, 10:57 PM

Listening to:


Toshiki Kadomatsu - 52nd Street

Skin by ginkgografix


Well.
A lot has happened in the past three Tuesdays. I started a new job two weeks ago, doing copywriting for a website that some of you may have heard of. I've been around there even longer than I've been here on DA, so it's sort of a natural progression, in an interesting sort of way. My first week was hectic, but good. I'm not used to working from home, and I'm still adjusting to that part, honestly. I like being a homebody as much as the next person, but I'm a little more social than I thought I was, so balancing being at home and being able to go out and do things has been tricky.

Last Tuesday evening, my grandfather passed away. We weren't super close, but he was family, and I was used to him being around, at least in some way. He went into hospice care the Friday before, caught up in the midst of some heart problems that he'd had for a long time. The doctor said that if he'd been in better health they would've tried surgery, but they didn't think he'd take to it, and so he went into hospice care with the understanding that he could make it two days or he could make it 6 months. They didn't really know.

Several family members got to see him before he went, and my aunt was there when he passed. He was in decent health on Monday, but Tuesday he was not doing anywhere near as good, and I think we all kind of knew at that point that it was going to happen. My aunt told him that it was okay for him to go, he took three breaths...and he was gone.

It seems so strange, that it would be that kind of...well, cinematic, for lack of a better word, but that's how it went.

The next morning I posted this, because it was on my mind and I was struggling to focus on work long enough to get things that needed doing done:

Things they don't tell you.Things they don’t tell you about losing your grandfather on a Tuesday night:
When you wake the next morning, you still
need to get out of bed in time for work, you still
have to shower, dress yourself, eat breakfast, brush
your teeth and hair;
                              and when your mother calls
to check in, you have to comfort her because she lost
her dad last night;
                            and when you call your grandmother
your voice cannot waver lest you upset her, because
she lost a man she's known for seventy years and even
though she would never hold it against you, you still
feel obligated not to cry;
                                    and when you sit down
to do your job, you will have to do it with all your heart
because if you ca


To say that I've been overwhelmed by the responses is an understatement, but I'm grateful for it all the same. In a grand stretch of irony, it's the first poem I've written in almost two years, and in the past 6 days it has become the most favorited and commented on deviation in my gallery, my fifth Daily Deviation (second on this account), and the only piece of writing I've ever posted that managed to hit the Popular page.

It's been a bit difficult to keep up with everything around here, but it served as a pretty strong reminder as to why DA has been my home for so many years. 

This Tuesday is a work in progress. I got some less than savory news on a personal front; but, I'm making the most of it. It's nothing so bad that it doesn't have a solution, so I ultimately have no reason to complain, except out of frustration. :laughing:

Have you sent TheMaidenInBlack your Thanksgiving note yet?

Music corner:


Add a Comment:
 
:iconjdrainville:
jdrainville Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Congratulations on the job!

:heart:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you! :huggle:
Reply
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Professional Writer
 Congrats on the new job, although yes, I know exactly what you mean by getting cabin fever while working at home, ha. I'm sorry again, too, for the loss of your grandfather. :hug:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you! And yeah, it takes adjusting, but everything will be alright, in the long run. :D :hug:
Reply
:iconhaldron:
haldron Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015
:hug: 
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconthemaideninblack:
TheMaidenInBlack Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015
:hug: about your grandfather.

I have gotten very few notes, so these last days need all the love they can get. >:C
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
I hope you got more notes! D: I realized a bit ago that I am terrible and didn't send one myself. I got busy @_@
Reply
:iconthemaideninblack:
TheMaidenInBlack Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015
:stare: send it! I got busy too, you still have time.
Reply
:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Sorry about your loss :hug:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you :huggle:
Reply
:iconexillior:
Exillior Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know what your less than savoury news is, but here's to a nice Thanksgiving with plenty of savoury delights. :heart:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
You did, actually, but on the bright side, it all got solved before it became an actual problem. :laughing: :hug:
Reply
:iconexillior:
Exillior Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah yes. In the case of that unsavoury news, I am glad it got resolved, even if it's less than ideal. :hug:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Saaaaaame :laughing: :hug:
Reply
:iconginkgografix:
ginkgografix Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015
Sorry to hear about your grandfather :/ :hug: :heart:

Getting used to work from home takes some time. I still struggle with it from time to time. Having no one around you can talk about your work is the thing that can be quite a challenge.
But I am pretty sure that you will find a schedule for yourself soon.
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thanks, Anne :huggle: And yeah, I'm definitely seeing that. My problem is that I need to get up and move more, and get out of the house more. I'm not a super social person, but I definitely need more interaction than I'm getting right now, heh. It's starting to fall into place, though, more or less. :nod:
Reply
:iconginkgografix:
ginkgografix Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2015
Oh, yes. That sounds familiar. Not so long ago I did not leave my yard for two weeks, just because there was no real reason to do so and you don't pay much attention to it at all. After I realized that it had been two weeks already, it really felt weird :slow:
Reply
:iconninebark:
ninebark Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
:love:
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Prayers, dear one. :heart:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you, again :huggle:
Reply
:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, Monkey. :heart:
Reply
:iconthiefoworld:
Thiefoworld Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015
Trevor! I didn't know sorry :c and feel bad for not knowing. I'm sorry for your loss, I know is not easy to lose someone, even if you weren't that close, you know is still hard. :heart: 

But I'm glad you're doing better and I hope that whatever those latest news are, things work out for you :hug:

You know I'm almost never on skype but if you ever want to chat, poke me! Andrew does that on FB :P 


That, and MisterWives are awesome
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
It's okay! I didn't say much about it when it happened, there was so much going on that it was hard to stop and talk about it. Anyway, things are kind of back to normal already, for most of my family. Thank you though :huggle: And yeah, I need to poke you on facebook more. I'm not good about sending messages there... :shifty:

Yes they are c:
Reply
:iconmoonbeam13:
Moonbeam13 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
<3 Love you tons :)
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Love you too :huggle: :heart: I hope that things are going well up there, and I need to catch up with you more! I'm sorry I'm so bad about keeping in touch D:
Reply
:iconmoonbeam13:
Moonbeam13 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
We both are but we're always here :D That's all that matters!
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
True! :w00t:
Reply
:iconjenfruzz:
JenFruzz Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
That is a busy couple weeks, wow. Sorry for your loss but also congratulations on your new job and success with your recent writing! :)
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you, on all counts! :hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
I love you my dear!!! :iconsweethugplz: I'm very sorry for the loss of your Grandpa :iconflyingheartsplz::iconheartcandleplz::iconflyingheartsplz:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you Eve :love: :huggle:
Reply
:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Professional Interface Designer
I'm sorry for your loss :hug:

Working from home is quite tricky. I'm probably going to try it again soon though it hasn't been my favourite way of working so far. I hope you settle into it well and enjoy the job!
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Thanks, Bart :hug: It's definitely different, but considering the circumstances, it's definitely better than it could be. Plus the people I work with are all super cool, so that's a plus. :D
Reply
:iconskull-of-death:
Skull-Of-Death Featured By Owner Edited Nov 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
May your job be a happy one my friend. Also, Ouch. Sorry about the loss of your grandpa, I should know because I was there once. In a way (in which it was a few years ago when I lost my nana, but like a strong-willed soul, I learned to move on.)

Question me this. What if death is but an alternate gateway to an immortal afterlife that could only be found when ones time has come? It is said that when one comes into being that they are born with an "Hourglass" within them that when it is completely empty, Death will show itself to guide you to a spiritual afterlife.

Long story short. May your soul find the happiness it solemnly deserves.
Reply
:icongeorgexvii:
GeorgeXVII Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015   Traditional Artist
:tackle1: by Electrikshock Hope things go well in your new job!
Yes TheMaidenInBlack have received my Thanksgiving note ! :la:
All the best !
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015   Writer
Thank you, George! So far things are going well, just really busy! :lol:
Reply
:iconaeirmid:
Aeirmid Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015   Digital Artist
Sending love. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Hope things go well in your new job!
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015   Writer
Belated thanks, Jade. :hug: :heart: So far the job's going really well! Black Friday sales kept me really busy all weekend though :laughing: How are you?
Reply
:iconaeirmid:
Aeirmid Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Digital Artist
I'm doing well enough! Fighting off a cold.... but otherwise no complaints. Getting used to life with a badge instead of a heart. :XD:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2015   Writer
Ah, I hope you feel better soon! :hug: It's not so bad on this side of things though. It's still fun to be around, after all, and that's the important part :D
Reply
:iconleomon32:
leomon32 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Hugs
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015   Writer
:hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconandorada:
Andorada Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2015
:huggle::heart:
Reply
:iconikazon:
ikazon Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015   Writer
:huggle:
Reply
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