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a lot of you know in addition to art & poems, i also write and sing indie music. over the past six months i wrote an album that is a memoir of the last couple years of my life. i re-visit various traumas, and ultimately arrive at peace with them.

some friends have described it as a julien baker/adult mom/clairo type sound, but i’m actually just a big baby rambling over acoustic guitar!! on the real, releasing this album was the perfect way to end this incredibly challenging year. i literally feel like i have just walked through an open field of every terrible thing that’s happened to me in my whole life, flipped it off musically, and sat down at a little river and am currently soaking in the sun and the sound of the water and not givin a heck.

:bulletblue: it will be on itunes and spotify shortly, but the platform i’m releasing it for the cheapest price on is bandcamp-- it’s only $3!

pls venture into my world and stay a while. take her home, love her well

my return from upload hiatus means you guys get to see a lot of my new artwork. i use fire alpaca for digital pieces now, and i've been creating a lot of painterly, blended art. i'm super happy with it.

to celebrate this creative convalescence, i've also decided to re-open commissions! i'll do anime, OCs/character references, pokemon, realism, anthros/animals, fantasy, and other special requests. offering at a special low price because i need to pay bills before i move to miami this week.

:bulletblue: lineart - 5 USD

:bulletblue: lines and flat color - 10 USD

cyan by ignotism

:bulletblue: full-color illustration - 15 USD

spirit animal by ignotism<da:thumb id="697735614"/> moonbaby by ignotism


:bulletyellow:if you follow me here on deviantart, i'll discount you five dollars on a full color illustration-- you can get it for 10 dollars instead of 15! :bulletyellow:

comment or note to place a commission. accepting paypal, google wallet or facebook messenger payment

:bulletblue: follow my tumblr:
:bulletblue: follow me on twitter:…

more accurately titled "what i mean when i say i'm a boring white middle class teen from a rural town who accuses other milennials of being entitled, even though my bourgeois parents are paying my way through college, bought my first car and will always let me move back in once i'm finished giving all my money away to a corporate institution for a shitty bachelor's degree in psychology that i settled for because i have no ambition.

as a result of my bougie, sheltered upbringing, i have no nuanced perspective on the experiences of the proletariat, immigrants or people seeking abortions. i've never even met an immigrant or a woman who's had an abortion-- but here are my formal opinions on them which i inherited from listening to fox news w/ my family full of oops children right after we got done praying to the confederate flag."

so i haven't been on here in a minute.

i'm going to be opening commissions real soon (i just bought an intuos draw tablet so i can do digital art again!!) and i've been cranking out some dope acrylic paintings of hot centaur chicks which will be for sale

if you haven't noticed by the change of my name in my bio, my name (formerly alyssa) is now levi. i had it legally changed over the summer. i'm trans/non-binary and my pronouns are they/them. 


this is kind of weird and personal to put on here but it matters to me that the people following my artwork know

on august 29th of this year i was raped by someone i thought was a friend. i was staying the night at a friend's house with 4 people, all of which i've known for years, and one of them fingered and groped me in my sleep. 

i lost my court case (a grand jury ruled that he was innocent even though he admitted to it)

it's been affecting my online activity, worsening my depression, and essentially crippling all my ambitions and drive to do anything other than sleep and eat. most days it's really hard to accomplish anything productive. i'm happy just to get out of bed and go get lunch with my boyfriend or do a load of laundry. right now, that's a feat for me. 

when things get really bad i like to put on regina spektor's cover of no surprises or cry in a long hot shower or play ukulele 

honestly i think offerings of prayers and condolences are petty and noise pollution so tread diligently 

just be there for me by being there for me or supporting me as an artist and a friend

i think that's about all the updates for now.


my deviantart comment signature is still "leave a message after the derp"

this has accompanied every comment i've made on this website for years

i live in 2012
because i'm ukulele-playing indie trash…
instead of killing myself, i make art.
they are both a primitive response to pain.
i can't see in the dark, i just got good at knowing what's not there.
your body is like the negative space in architecture
nobody notices how you allow the carved beautiful things to even be beautiful at all
everything has to be black and white, black and white, black and white

people in your life are either good or bad.

teachers love you or think you're a massive idiot.

all your friends there for you or are out to get you.

you have no friends because you hurt all of them or they hurt you and you can't seem to lower your standards for wanting intelligent company and it is ruining you because you can't find them.

one second you are happy and it feels so high and it feels so good but you begin to wonder if you look dumb for being happy, you begin to wonder if you are being eccentric. you are laughing too much people will think you are unintelligent

the next second you are in love with your bed. not high school love. the kind of love where you're not really sure if it's love but you can't leave your bed you can't be sad when you're asleep it's better to be asleep than risk being sad

everything has to be black and white, black and white, black and white
if you know a poet who is mentally sound you are lying or they're a great actor

songwriting prompt dump

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 10, 2015, 1:13 PM

:bulletyellow: have you ever had a plot twist in real life? try to capture that feeling in a song.

:bulletyellow: imitation

:bulletyellow: enter the antagonist.

:bulletyellow: write a song where the chorus changes the meaning of the song each time it is sung.

:bulletyellow: write a song with the same chord progression as a song you love.

:bulletyellow: a place you've never been


Journal Entry: Sun Nov 22, 2015, 1:15 AM
Header goes here!

i cry a lot now. i cry about growing up. i cry about memories. i cry about the circumstances of my birth and wondering tirelessly if i had been born smarter parents or richer parents or kinder parents if i would have grown up to be a polyglot or a prodigal artist or musician. but i am not any of those things, and who i am now has to be enough for now because it's the only thing i can be.

people are processes

it's hard for me to take myself seriously anymore because i've fucked up relations with other people so many times. any time i tell myself i'm making a step in the right direction (blocking him on facebook) i psyche myself out because i realize i've felt this power and independence before, but it crumbled.

Footer goes here!

i changed my username

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 30, 2015, 6:24 AM


i think i'm satisfied with the change. now matches my main tumblr and i feel it's a little more representative of me now vs. my 12-year old self. 

i definitely still hold the name BittersweetObsession dear to me because it was my first username, and it was the identity i took when posting some of my first ever work online. but i think the change was called for. 

feels good.


if you're sweeter than my solitude"
― warsan shire (who in my opinion is one of the most highly evolved human beings & we should all strive to be more like her)

do you ever get those nights where you can't sleep because you want to stay up learning every instrument and writing every poem you could ever manage in your meager, fleeting life, and also paint the fuck out of every blank surface in your house? i've been going on late walks on weeknights and composing songs and doing everything except homework

suburbs smell different at night

i work at a sport bar (i hate sports) and i work 20-25 hours a week and that combined with full-time school is seriously brutal. i should be recording my originals and reading books (which i haven't done avidly since gradeschool) and making more art but i'm really consumed (albeit productively) by stuff that adults tell me is what i'm supposed to be doing

and i guess i should?? i just feel like the act of working so much is wearing my identity thin. if you spend so much time doing one thing you become that thing,

& i just notice how fast the weeks go by when you're working, like it's just tallying down the days and making calculations on how much money you're making in how much time. every time you buy something you think about how many hours you worked/will work to pay it off. it's the kind of shit that drives a person mad tbh

thoughts from an angry queer kid living in their parents' house 

This journal was coded by LineBirgitte - graphics by xyphid


Journal Entry: Mon Sep 28, 2015, 12:35 PM

hello friends

i'm writing lots of new things

and i'm in Advanced Senior Studio / AP Art this year so i'll be uploading lots of visual art works. my concentration is on gender identity / gender roles and i'll be doing a whole photography portfolio on gender issues, huzzah

i'm not sure why i chose the title of this journal, i just really like lookin at butts

it's possibly the best part of going to college

:bulletblue: tell me about ur lives

poetry is fucking nature.
poetry is the "oh shit i'm on a bus and have an idea, but don't have a pen."
poetry is the "oh shit i'm on a bus and have a pen, but don't have an idea."

poetry is not your fucking motivational speech.
poetry is not your depression.
poetry is not a luxury.
poetry is not a story. it's the embodiment, the abstraction of a story.
poetry is not poetry unless it can be nothing else.
your poetry is not poetry unless the universe whispers over your shoulder, "this must be"

if your poetry is a canal for your experiences but not anyone or anything else's, you're doing it wrong.
dun dun dunnnnnn

(not sure what to yet)