The last 15 years, I have spent with my husband, lover and best friend Emil.
14 of those years was spent as a family, with my daughter, who left us with an awful mess a year ago.
2 weeks ago today, he decided his life was no longer worth living without my daughter, whom he loves as his own child.
He was brought back, but has been in a coma for the last two weeks.
He has extensive brain damage, which means he's never going to get a normal life again, if he survives.
I'm losing my best friend.
I'm losing the man I've loved, and been faithful to, for the last 15 years,
I'm losing the best father I could ever have wished for for my daughter.
I'm losing the glue that keeps my life together.
I'm losing the voice of reason in my life.
I'm losing the one who loved me despite all my quirks and ideas and fangirlism.
I'm losing the one who respected me as a person, who cared for me, who never said no, who did everything for me.
I'm losing the reason I go to work every morning, the reason I come home every afternoon.
I'm losing the love of my life.
So yes, I'm crying.
My husband Emil died on October 30th surrounded by his family.
He was buried on November 10th in Oslo.
Emil leaves no children on his own, but has left me with his Beagle "Spike", who is my new baby.