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My life is still on hold - after my husband died in October 2015, I'm still semi active as a cosplayer and with the BJD exhibitions.
But I'm mostly alone, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety, I have panic attacks and my beagle "Spike" is my new BFF.

I do try to have "fun", and my main survival strategy is reading, because there's still so much to read.

Currently I'm buried deep in the Sterek fandom, and since I'm not able to write anything myself, I feel like I'm using but not contributing. Which I would love to change some day.

ANYWAY.
I keep passing the open windows.

Because, maybe someday, it'll all worth it.
  • Listening to: Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack
  • Reading: Sterek Fanfics
  • Watching: Game of Thrones
  • Playing: dead
  • Eating: crispbread
  • Drinking: Twinings Earl Grey
I'm crying.

The last 15 years, I have spent with my husband, lover and best friend Emil.
14 of those years was spent as a family, with my daughter, who left us with an awful mess a year ago.
2 weeks ago today, he decided his life was no longer worth living without my daughter, whom he loves as his own child.
He was brought back, but has been in a coma for the last two weeks.
He has extensive brain damage, which means he's never going to get a normal life again, if he survives.

I'm losing my best friend.
I'm losing the man I've loved, and been faithful to, for the last 15 years,
I'm losing the best father I could ever have wished for for my daughter.
I'm losing the glue that keeps my life together.
I'm losing the voice of reason in my life.
I'm losing the one who loved me despite all my quirks and ideas and fangirlism.
I'm losing the one who respected me as a person, who cared for me, who never said no, who did everything for me.
I'm losing the reason I go to work every morning, the reason I come home every afternoon.

I'm losing the love of my life.

So yes, I'm crying.

Edit 11.14.2015:
My husband Emil died on October 30th surrounded by his family.
He was buried on November 10th in Oslo.
Emil leaves no children on his own, but has left me with his Beagle "Spike", who is my new baby.
Thank you :heart:
  • Drinking: Twinings Earl Grey
Plans for this summer:
Cosplay and BJD exhibition @ DesuCon 10 (Oslo/Lillestrøm, Norway)
Viking markets at Bronseplassen (Høvåg, Norway) and Hove (Arendal, Norway)
Canal Street (Jazz and blues festival, Arendal, Norway)
Cosplay and BJD exhibition @ Torucon  (Trondheim, Norway)
  • Listening to: Mark Ruffalo's voice
  • Reading: Fanfiction
  • Watching: Mark Ruffalo movies
  • Playing: dead
  • Eating: Raw food and berries
  • Drinking: Twinings Earl Grey
This weekend I attended a cozy little Con in Larvik, Norway called Banzaicon. It was my 3rd BanzaiCon, and also my 3rd hosting a BJD stand. Our BJD stand this year was more in flow with the theme, and all the dolls cosplayed.

I took a lot of pics, but hardly any were good enough to put on here, so I'm gonna try to copy the scenes at home and taker better pics ;)

Anyway, I had an awesome time, I've already booked hotel rooms for next year, and I've just posted some pics of the dolls and of cosplayers holding some of my dolls on DA :heart:

It's still winter here - spring is sneaking in but we're getting some more snow this weekend, lol


I'm gonna sneak out and pretend I wasn't here now, k bai ;-)
  • Listening to: your breathing
  • Reading: your mind
  • Watching: you sleep
  • Playing: with your heart
  • Eating: your braiiiiins
  • Drinking: your blood
It's March 15th. I mean, it's SPRING!!!!

And I've been slacking on posting doll pics, I know. Sorry about that, lol

I'll try to get better at it, but I have so much to do :heart:

Anyway, it's still winter here (it's snowing!) so the whole "spring" thing was a bit overrated :P

I'll see you guys around :)

- Idril
It's getting warmer, I love it :D

Also my husband Emil has allowed me to try out his SLR cam, which is like a spaceship to me :P

Anyway, I hope to take loads of doll photos this summer, outdoors and indoors, and hopefully include ALL my dolls, not only the popular ones ;)

Georg's original head is back on his body because the new, unspoiled head just wasn't HIM :heart:
I may be switching bodies for Bill because I want him to pose better with the upgraded Mio -- and honestly, the undying kids are killing me with their bohemian life style. Sofia - the Groke - and Lucas are the only ones who actually have a job, both Charlotte and Amaury being secretive as to where they spend their time during the day (I suspect Charlotte is sleeping though, lol).

I'm still playing doll  house and getting them all stuff to use in future shoots, but it's a pain in the butt finding furniture that size that doesn't look like it's made for babies XD I may have to get myself a playhouse  wooden kitchen and re paint it :P

Anyway, I'm lonely these days, but I have my family and I have my friends (online) and I have a LOT to look forward to.

Incoming dolls the next 1-2 weeks:
Pipos Cheshire (needs blush/faceup)
Iplehouse EID Asa Tokyo Story fullset :heart:
Some 5 years ago I created a DA account so I could collect some  faves. idrilkeps
I misspelled my nickname, but kept the account, since over the years I got a truckload of faves on some of my doll photos.

Late 2010 I decided that 500 Deviations was more than enough, and that I'd create a new account, username spelled out right, when I hit 500 deviations...

So this is not a fake, it's not a copy - it's still the same old fart doing deviant things with polymer resin and a camera ;)

My family on DA:

~Spandexboy ~FreakyCartoonist ~Stefansider ~miu88 *birdesigns


Here's a list of my resin kids:
Skaa, Dream of Doll DoI A&D
Mio/Solíndë, Fairyland Feeple65 Chloe (human and elf faceplates)
Sofia (The Groke), Supia Roda
Zenith/Bill Kaulitz, Iplehouse YID Mars Special Version
Amaury, iplehouse SID Claude RealSkin
Lucas, Iplehouse EID Chase
Charlotte, Soom Migma Hollow head on Angelsdoll body
Gustav/Gus-Gus, Iplehouse YID Lion (mod)
Noorah, Iplehouse YID Harin
Geo, LeekeDoll Brown head on Soom SuperGem body
Teen Arwen, Soom Rosette Muse Delilah
Sayoran, Spiritdoll Proud Camphor
Ronja, Eluts Kid Delf Litchi
Tarja/Viviane/Milla, Souldoll Zenith Shiva Human ver.
Baby Arwen, Iplehouse BID Serca (winter event fullset)
Elladan, Fairyland Minifee Carl
Elrohir, Fairyland Minifee Carl
Cassandra, Unoa Light Fluorite

HEADS:
(sharing 3 bodies)
Hideto, Doll In Mind Hyde MiniMee
Masa, Doll In Mind Miyavi MiniMee
Satoru, Doll In Mind Gackt MiniMee
Chacha, Doll In Mind Chachamaru (GacktJob) MiniMee
Eclipse, Souldoll Chi
Ash, Alice in Labyrinth Elijah
Noname, Simply Divine Harlequin
Extra Iplehouse Mars (Zenith)
Extra LeekeDoll Brown  (Geo)

CURRENTLY WAITING FOR:
Bill Kaulitz custom head x2 from Nobilitydoll (GO on DoA)

SELLING:
PM me if you're interested.
DBDoll Ninan ($230 + shipping)
DIM Bill Kaulitz MiniMee head ($150 + shipping)
Ringdoll Petter head ($50 + shipping)
Leekedoll Koji head ($50 + shipping)
Some 5 years ago I created a DA account so I could collect some  faves. idrilkeps
I misspelled my nickname, but kept the account, since over the years I got a truckload of faves on some of my doll photos.

Late 2010 I decided that 500 Deviations was more than enough, and that I'd create a new account, username spelled out right, when I hit 500 deviations...

So this is not a fake, it's not a copy - it's still the same old fart doing deviant things with polymer resin and a camera ;)

My family on DA:
Spandexboy FreakyCartoonist Stefansider miu88 birdesigns


Here's a list of my resin kids:
Skaa, Dream of Doll DoI A&D
Mio/Solíndë, Fairyland Feeple65 Chloe (human and elf faceplates)
Sofia (The Groke), Supia Roda
Zenith/Bill Kaulitz, Iplehouse YID Mars Special Version
Amaury, iplehouse SID Claude RealSkin
Lucas, Iplehouse EID Chase
Gustav/Gus-Gus, Iplehouse YID Lion (mod)
Noorah, Iplehouse YID Harin
Geo, LeekeDoll Brown head on Soom SuperGem body
Teen Arwen, Soom Rosette Muse Delilah
Sayoran, Spiritdoll Proud Camphor
Ronja, Eluts Kid Delf Litchi
Pi, CherishDoll Faith Chubby
Sinus, CherishDoll Faith Jodie
Tarja/Viviane/Milla, Souldoll Zenith Shiva Human ver.
Gena, DBDoll Ninan
Baby Arwen, Iplehouse BID Serca (winter event fullset)
Elladan, Fairyland Minifee Carl
Elrohir, Fairyland Minifee Carl
Ennis, Fairyland Minifee Seorin
Mary Kate, Iplehouse JID Benny
Cassandra, Unoa Light Fluorite

HEADS:
(sharing 3 bodies)
Hideto, Doll In Mind Hyde MiniMee
Elrohir, Doll In Mind Kaulitz MiniMee
Masa, Doll In Mind Miyavi MiniMee
Satoru, Doll In Mind Gackt MiniMee
Chacha, Doll In Mind Chachamaru (GacktJob) MiniMee
Eclipse, Souldoll Chi
Ash, Alice in Labyrinth Elijah
Noname, Simply Divine Harlequin
Andrej, RingDoll RingTeen Petter
Extra Iplehouse Mars (Zenith)
Extra LeekeDoll Brown  (Geo)

CURRENTLY WAITING FOR:
Soom Migma Hollow head (Miss Michiko) <--- is at miu88 for faceup
Angelsdoll 60 cm body (Miss Michiko)
Bill Kaulitz custom head x2 from Nobilitydoll (GO on DoA)