idrilkeeps

My life is still on hold - after my husband died in October 2015, I'm still semi active as a cosplayer and with the BJD exhibitions. But I'm mostly alone, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety, I have panic attacks and my beagle "Spike" is my new BFF. I do try to have "fun", and my main survival strategy is reading, because there's still so much to read. Currently I'm buried deep in the Sterek fandom, and since I'm not able to write anything myself, I feel like I'm using but not contributing. Which I would love to change some day. ANYWAY. I keep passing the open windows. Because, maybe someday, it'll all worth it.

I'm crying. The last 15 years, I have spent with my husband, lover and best friend Emil. 14 of those years was spent as a family, with my daughter, who left us with an awful mess a year ago. 2 weeks ago today, he decided his life was no longer worth living without my daughter, whom he loves as his own child. He was brought back, but has been in a coma for the last two weeks. He has extensive brain damage, which means he's never going to get a normal life again, if he survives. I'm losing my best friend. I'm losing the man I've loved, and been faithful to, for the last 15 years, I'm losing the best father I could ever have wished for

Plans for this summer: Cosplay and BJD exhibition @ DesuCon 10 (Oslo/Lillestrøm, Norway) Viking markets at Bronseplassen (Høvåg, Norway) and Hove (Arendal, Norway) Canal Street (Jazz and blues festival, Arendal, Norway) Cosplay and BJD exhibition @ Torucon  (Trondheim, Norway)