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About Digital Art / Hobbyist NicoleOther/United States Group :iconzabuxhaku-fc: ZabuxHaku-FC
 
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Deviant for 8 Years
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IcyRaine
Nicole
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
My name is Nicole, and I am a nonbinary artist based in the gulf coast region of the United States. I'm trying to be more active here and get back into drawing things I like and can finish while trying to build my creative career. Thank you for checking out my gallery, I hope to have more stuff up soon!

Icon by Nekonym

Other Places I Can Be Found:

YouTube
@Otabaes
Glass Rubies on Tumblr
ValhallaPeach on AO3
Nicole Blogs on Blogspot
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  • Listening to: Survivor Guilt- Rise Against
  • Drinking: water
So....today is my birthday. Or was, it's almost over. Please save the half hearted "happy birthday", I've had more than enough disappointment today. I was looking forward to today for weeks. 

I had to fight with my mom and sister to come back for cake. They left again right after.

Earlier today, my mom went with her friend instead of waiting for me to get up so we could go and eat. Mind you, I actually got up early today. We did that, went to the store to get milk, and then she had me drop her off at her friend's house. I came home and took a nap and then talked to the one friend I have here.

My sister went to a baby shower, where she had been all day. And then, went to pick up her friend when she kept insisting that they were on their way over. They came here, ate cake, and then left after telling me that they were going home to continue their tradition of getting drunk on my birthday without me.

I wasn't invited, wasn't even thought about. 

Mom went back to her friend's house.

I'm not upset that I wasn't invited to drink with my sister. She's done it every year for the last five years. What upset me is that I had to fight with both of them to even try to celebrate another year of a life that I never wanted. 

A life that 3 years ago, I tried to end. I'm 32 years old today, and this is the first birthday that I've actually cried for a reason that never involved me being a year old and being surrounded by too many people and terrified.

And I don't know anyone here because I was forced into moving 2000+ miles away from everyone that I knew because I "could make new friends and would still have my family". 6 years later, I have 1 friend that I NEVER see anymore and a family that doesn't give a shit about me. And on top of all of that, I feel so fucking selfish because my mom was just diagnosed with cancer a few days ago, and I'm here crying over no one wanting to be here on my birthday.

Happy Fucking Birthday. I'm not doing this again next year. I'm not even going to bother with it.
Spring Bride
I wanted to try to draw something that wasn't too cartoony......I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to color it, but I managed!
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Vampire Queen
More Adventure Time art, this time just Marceline! She's one of my favorite characters, I love her songs a lot.
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  • Listening to: Survivor Guilt- Rise Against
  • Drinking: water
I'm not dead! I've been so busy, and haven't really felt motivated to draw lately. But tonight, I sat down and actually drew (and finished) a piece! It's my latest deviation, and I actually enjoyed making it! I feel like maybe if I start drawing content that I enjoy, I'll be able to actually finish things without feeling pressured or losing interest.

And the weird thing is that I don't take requests, even from family lol But between errands and life in general, I haven't really found time or motivation to do anything more than mess around online. Maybe it's a matter of finding the right inspiration, I guess. I dunno.

But wow, it is so hot now? Summer started early, as it usually does, at the end of April. But it feels like it does in August already, like peak hot and humid. Plus, hurricane season has started, which is fun. Alberto changed trajectory at the last minute, and turned eastward from the gulf. There were casualties, and I hope the families can find peace in their difficult time.

Things have also been happening in my county since they lifted the alcohol ban. Like murder, DUI, things like that. Like we didn't already have a drug trafficking problem here thanks to people in Clarkedale. A woman that I know murdered her boyfriend. The trial is next month, and I hope she's convicted and sentenced. It's been absolutely crazy here.

But life goes on as usual, and I need to figure out a way to make money or get a job. Or go beg for my job back, but my anxiety will not allow me to do that. I need to figure something out, though, and soon. I have an elderly cat to take care of. 

I also now have a desk! I know that it doesn't seem like much to get excited over, but I've been without a desk for 6 years almost. It makes drawing difficult, even drawing digitally. I'll get everything set up tomorrow/later today, after I get home. 

We're getting the truck's tires replaced, finally. I told my mom that I'm not driving her car anymore. The tire fell apart on the highway, and I had to drive 30 miles below the speed limit to go home and get the truck. What's funny is that I even thought to take the truck in the first place, but then told myself no because my mom would have a fit. 

Turns out, the truck was the more reliable option in the first place, and I was terribly upset over that for hours. My mom and sister were in California at the time. They got back on the 31st of May, so now my sister annoys me asking me to take her to Dollar General all the time. If I start working there again, I'm not taking her every day anymore. She gets mad, but oh well. 

For now, maybe I should try to get better at drawing so I can do something with it and not let it be just a useless talent. I've already improved a lot, but there's always more room for improvement.
[Pride 2018] Bubbline
Hoping you all have a happy and safe pride month, even if you're closeted for your own safety. You are valid.

Experimented with Medibang Paint Pro, and this is the end result. Also wanted to draw Bubbline, as I haven't in about 2 years. Candy brushes are free for download and use by Loopy44, please check them out!
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner 19 hours ago
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
 Scalpel (Left)Tini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeTini Vintage Syringe
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces Eyeball  bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesTini Cleaver (Right)  Tini Preserved Heart Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Broken Heart  Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Tini Preserved Heart Tini Cleaver (Left)bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesPill AvatarMoving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon Virtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - PVirtual Retro LED - Y Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 iconPopsiclebunch of smiley faces
  GHOST HEART Moving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 iconVirtual Retro LED - BVirtual Retro LED - IVirtual Retro LED - RVirtual Retro LED - TVirtual Retro LED - HVirtual Retro LED - DVirtual Retro LED - AVirtual Retro LED - YMoving Eyeballs Cake 50x50 icon GHOST HEART 
Tini Vintage Syringe leftTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeScalpel (Right)
 candlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandlescandles
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:iconcandhproductions:
candhproductions Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2017
Happy Birthday!!!! :heart:
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's July 14th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: LDFranklin
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