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ichan-desu's avatar
By ichan-desu   |   Watch
3 26 2K (1 Today)
Published: November 10, 2017
Hey everyone

In my last journal I said I am going back soon but I didn't. I really want to trust me and I'm still trying but life just really hasn't been improving. Depression is only getting worst. My grandma just recently passed away and now my father had another stroke and is now in a coma.. I just don't know what to do anymore.


For my commissioners. I'm still not giving up on finishing some of your pictures. But if you want the refund, just message me again. Money is really tight atm because of all the medical bills but I will see what I can do. Thank you.
anonymous's avatar
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Wes-of-StarArmy's avatar
Wes-of-StarArmyHobbyist Digital Artist
I know how that feels, my grandma died this year too and my grandfather is losing his mind to Alzeimer's disease. :(

Best wishes, and thank you for not forgetting me.
Finchzero's avatar
FinchzeroProfessional Filmographer
So sorry to hear :( Please do not hesitate to message me on FB if you want to chat man. I hope things get better for you - much love!
lady-blackwings's avatar
lady-blackwingsHobbyist Digital Artist
I'm so sorry. I honestly hope the tide turns in your favor soon. 
RatchetJak's avatar
RatchetJakHobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry for the circumstances... :(
I hope your father will be okay...
Firefox1e's avatar
I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope that your father will come out okay.
marplay87's avatar
marplay87Hobbyist Digital Artist
I pray that your future will be full of goodness. Huggle! 
Miingno's avatar
MiingnoHobbyist General Artist
elee0228's avatar
Stay strong, my friend. Take all the time you need. I'm in no hurry for the commisions.
MiyuKyuu's avatar
MiyuKyuuHobbyist Photographer
im so sorry for your loss hun , i hope your father recover soon .
please take your time , no rushing my commissions <33
AL-818's avatar
AL-818Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sorry for your loss, as well as the current hardships you're dealing with, yet, like every storm that blows thru, this will also pass (albeit not easily).  We're all here for you, so, do what you have to and move forward.  Wishing you good luck and more!
SpireEx's avatar
SpireExHobbyist Traditional Artist
Decide what's better for your and your life. Your future will be clearer only if you strongly believe in it! Don't let depression knock you off! We still love your art but life first! :hug:
Brother-Tico's avatar
Brother-TicoProfessional Digital Artist
oh dear. Sorry to hear this sad news.

All I can do is giving you support to that hard time that you're going trough. 
KiSsicchi's avatar
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My prayers go to you and your family, don't give up.

Please don't pressure yourself, I speak of experience when I say it only makes things worse. Of course, I'll continue waiting for my commission, but I would like to change the order, since it's been a while. If you ever feel like you're ready, please hit me up, so I can give you the new details.
ButterMaster's avatar
I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on...I'm just a watcher, we've never really talked but if you ever want to vent, my inbox is always open. I know how it is to struggle with mental illness and at the same time, family health issues/death. 
Take it day by day is my advice. Ask yourself "how am I doing today" instead of "how am I doing"
It won't be easy, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
TanoshiiGirl's avatar
Im so sorry to hear about the hard times going on in your life right now. I hope things start to look up for you soon.
And dont feel bad about taking time away to take care of yourself, self care is very important. :heart:
FudgeX02's avatar
FudgeX02Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm gonna write a big story for you just because I feel like I have to. I know I don't know you, but I can't just read that post and ignore it.

I had a friend that I grew up with that lived with his divorced mother in a trailer. He was poor as dirt and his mom was bipolar and treated him like shit all the time, to the point where I couldn't hang out with him anymore in high school because his mom started showing up where he was and threatening people. Eventually he got to leave and go live with his dad one summer, and we all thought his life was going to be better. 3 months later, he was back with his mom because his dad was abusive and my friend didn't know what to do. Things stayed shitty for him and then we all graduated and went our separate ways to college. My friend met a girl and had sex with her...only to find out that she lied about her age and he got arrested and jailed for 3 years for raping a kid. He got acquitted eventually, but the state left him on the sex offender registry and put him on probation in exchange for his release. He went to school to become a probation officer so that he could help people like himself, but then he got too many speeding tickets and was going to be sent to jail to complete his sentence for rape (because somehow that was also part of his terms of release). He killed himself instead.

No one talked about it, and nothing was better for what happened. I heard he died through a text message. That was it. "[Your friend] killed himself." No funeral, no nothing because his mom hated him. He was just gone, and all it did was leave a hole. I still think about him regularly. It's been a couple years and I still wish that I could have helped him, but I understand that his life was truly ruined when he left. The only thing that came from him dying was that I saw how hollow suicide is, and he motivates me to deal with my own depression everyday. I guess I'm writing this because I want to say that I want you to give your friends and family a chance to help you. Please reach out to people. I wasn't my friend's Best Friend, nor were we that close when he died because I hadn't seen him except in passing at some places, but I still remember the last time that I saw him as clearly as what I can see on this monitor. I told him a stupid joke that wasn't even that funny while he was leaving a movie in the parking lot...that's it. It's one of my saddest memories because I feel like I should have been more open to him, more friendly to him, anything. He wanted to play paintball, but I was too busy doing something I can't even remember. But I can remember not going to frickin' paintball. I'll never forget that I didn't go.

Someone out there will care very deeply if something happens to you, and it might not even be someone you talk to anymore. I know life hurts, so, so bad sometimes, but please...give everyone a chance to live around you, to live with you.
TsundereWaifu's avatar
It's fine not to know what to do. No matter what you will do that person is gone and it sucks. You should do what you think is necessary for your well being. 
Angry-Small-Friend's avatar
Angry-Small-FriendProfessional General Artist
Please don't give up, dear. I know it seems bleak now but things always come back around. I believe in you. <3
magusVroth's avatar
magusVrothProfessional Artist
Hey man. Again very sorry to hear about this. I can understand what it's like to be in a bind like this. Not specifically having a loved one in a coma but having a loved one who needs your care and support. 

I'm no medical expert by any means, but I have heard that being with your loved one as much as possible and conversing with them can be an important step in recovering from a coma, so if possible try to manage that. I can certainly say you've got support from all of us here, my friend. 
My condolences, keep your head up . You're in my prayers.
ChaosEmperor971's avatar
Sorry to hear about your loss.

My great-aunt had also passed away this week and she's 96!

My prayers go to you and your family.
Quander's avatar
My condolences on your recent loss. I’m still reeling from my grandmother’s passing. One thing that has definitely helped has been been therapy. 
BlackKusanagi's avatar
BlackKusanagiStudent General Artist
...When it rains it pours. I really do hope you focus on yourself for a bit. We'll always be here...but right now, It's more important to keep your mind elsewhere. Ill keep your family in my thoughts.
Cold-Creature's avatar
Cold-CreatureHobbyist Digital Artist
Don't pressure yourself to be here-- We understand. Life comes first.
I hope things ease up for you- and your family <3 
anonymous's avatar
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