howlingghostwolf

I don't believe in love at first sight. The world doesn't spin that way. Hallmark movies are made for TV. I don't believe in love at first sight. Save that nonsense for books and children's fairytales. But when your sky blue brilliant eyes met my tree forest bark, something shifted, lifted, soared. Your smile danced across your face, sparkling radiance under florescent lighting. Mine matching the rhythm of yours. I don't believe in love at first sight. But... Maybe... Maybe...

I want to write a story. One full of happiness and love. Sunshine and cardinal songs. Butterflies, flowers, all the things that bring joy. There would be sadness too. For there is no such thing as pure bliss. That is a lie. A delusion. So my story will have heartache. There will be pain. Teardrops smudging inked words. Broken beyond repair lines. I want to write a story. A story that, though there are desperate troubles, laughter will follow along the way. A story that ends with a smile. Heart warming sentiment. A story that leaves you hopeful. But, as the saying goes, one writes what they know. So in writing what I know I c

I am reality and fiction. Butterflies and vultures. An overachieving procrastinater. A nighttime of endless days. I am falling stars and unsent letters. A grave filled with promise. Wholly and completely torn, maimed and shredded. Songs lyrics never sung, novels never spider web spun. I am a skeptical believer. Common sensed idealist. Hopelessly hopeful, hopefully hopeless. Bat wings and tiger eyes. All you cannot recognize. Reconnect the lines, falling, dipping landslide. Quiet autumn days. I am all the things you cannot say. Words trapped in throat, tumbling, dry heaving, nothingness. Tear stains on pillow cases. All the

 Honey, how could you be so blind? Don't you notice? Don't you see? I want you to fall in love with my words, my stories, my symphonies. Because to fall in love with them would mean you're finally in love with me...

 I, have spoken. Jumble of words tumble out, mixed interruptions, wrong impressions. Don't listen to the vomit. I, have shouted. Yelled until my throat bled. Hoping that you'd understand. Deaf ears switched on. Don't listen to my protest. I, have cried. Whispered 'til my tongue fell loose. Soft murmurs in the night, turning over in your sleep. Don't listen to my pain. I, have been. Tangling, writhing, mixed up mess. Searching for the answers, blind eyes, can't find, Don't think on my existence.

 "You?" I whisper, in the quiet of night. But silent, you stay. "Where?" I ask, to the darkness that surrounds. But away, you remain. "When?" I beg, reaching out into vastness. But apart, you are. "Exist?" I inquire, eyes searching starless wanderings. But far, you dwell. "You." I cry, settling in restless slumber. And silent, you stay.

Sometimes our wires cross, tangle and collide, until we lose ourself in one another and forget. Then something comes along and slowly it pulls the wires apart, untangling us, so nothing is left, but emptiness and sparks. And that's when we see the ugly, the real, the true. That is when we change becoming vulnerable; snakes writhing on the ground, trying desperately to regain the warmth provided by another. And sometimes we can go back; sometimes we can see the underbelly, and find comfort once again. But other times it's too much. Your darknesses fail to match, overpowering and strangling, killing off the hope. So we're left lying al

 And oh the sands of time flow, softly into the sea. With each hungry, lapping wave pulling apart all that will be. With every passing current, the ocean foam replays; all the haunted memories, all the darkened days. And beyond the water blue the dark horizon waits, streaks of midnight swirling to wash away the gray. And even though we know the sun will never rise; sometimes, even in the dark, we are forced to close our eyes. Behind closed lids, new perspective is gained, if we listen closely, still weeping in the rain, eventually we'll find; we are not alone. In the company of pain we have made a home. So come, tell me your tale

 We dance, twirl as your music plays. Swept along by your haunted melody. I run, I flee, I try to escape. And yet you still manage to have your say. It's a waltz you've crafted to fit your twisted ways. Skimming across the dance floor, you put my worries on display. Wearing that huge smile, that grotesque grin. You whisper softly in my ear, "You know I'll always win. I am your worst enemy and yet your closest friend. I know all your secrets. I tell you this won't end." And slowly I am overcome, slowly I submit. Trying my hardest to hold on. Trying not to quit. The power you hold over me is something I don't want. But I can't seem to run fr