Axis x Reader Crack?
Another day with the axis. Italy was napping, Germany was yelling and Japan was being quiet.
Then there was you. (Name) or (Country Name). You were busy falling over every-fucking-thing to notice all the commotion happening behind you. "Tree! I didn't invite you to my barbecue, so why you all up in my grill?" You shouted at the tree, doing some weird dance around it. "Don't act like you didn't fucking try to murder me!" You continued to shout and blame all of your lives problems on the tree.
"STOP LAUGHING AT ME DICK FACE!" You began punching the tree, which caught Germany's attention. He sighed at pinched the bridge of his nose. "(Country Name), what exactly are you doing?" He asked from behind you. You turned around and glared at him. You pointed at the tree and stomped your feet angrily. "That tree tripped me up!" You shouted and crossed your arms over your chest.
"Zhat is the stupidest zhing I'm heard all day. Stop harassing the tree and run with Italy." You frowned and walked towards Germany. You stood on your tippy-toes and glared even more at Germany. "You know fucking what? How would you like to be beaten up by a fuck tree, fuckboy?" You poked his chest hardly.
Germany was taken aback. He knew you were serious trouble, but you've never been this harsh. He probably shouldn't be that surprised, nothing involving you was ever normal.
"I-I'll take care of the tree if zhat vill make you feel better?" He asked tilting his head slightly. You smiled. "That would make me as happy as fucking Larry! Because let's be honest, damn Larry has a bi-" Germany put a hand over your mouth. "No, (Country Name), just no. Go." He pointed at Italy and Japan running around. You groaned and waked over to them.
"Vhat does (Country Name) have against trees?" He asked himself. He turned to walk away when he walked straight into a tree. "Vait a minute..... ZHAT TREE VASN'T ZHERE BEFORE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he ran home, terrified of the evil trees.
Japan looked at the fleeing Germany confused. "What's wrong with Germany-san?" Japan asked the two countries running beside him. "Ve~?" "Fucking trees." Japan turned to look at you. "What?" You sighed, did nobody know how fucking evil trees are?
"Trees are fucking evil. They tried to murder me a second ago, and now they're scaring the shit out of Germany. It's crazy as shit." You crossed your hands and murmured death threats to the trees. "I'll kill all the trees! ALL THE TREES!" You announced heroically. Japan shook his head.
"You sound rike Eren from Shingeki no Kyojin." Japan informed you. You rolled your eyes. You stopped walking when it got dark out. "How long did we walk for?" You asked panting. "I don't-a know, (Country Name). But look at the moon! Isn't it-s pretty?" Italy asked beside you.
"Italy, the moon's an egg. It's not pretty." Italy frowned and looked at the ground sadly. He lifted his head back up and smiled brightly at you. "Is the-a moon a chicken~?" "For fucks sake, I just said it was an egg not a fucking chicken." Italy nodded. "Ve~ Where's Japan?" Italy asked you looking around. "DID THE TREES GET HIM TOO?" You squated slightly and looking around. "(Country Name), you are one of my best friends. But-a your hated for-a trees is ridiculous." You frowned and gave him the 'don't-you-fucking-dare-tell-me-I'm-ridiculous-you-stupid-fucking-white-boy' look.
He whimpered and ran away. When he was running he ran into a tree, fell on his butt and started crying. You walked up to the tree that hurt Italy and you started punching holes into the bark.
"FUCK YOU, FUCKING TREES!"