HopelessLavender's avatar
I Am Stronger: Teen Depression
By HopelessLavender   |   Watch
5 26 3K (1 Today)
Published: January 24, 2010
EDIT: DEDICATED TO MY FRIEND, BOB, WHO IS NO LONGER WITH US. I MISS YOU, BOB. WE LOVE YOU.

It starts with an emotion.
One you cannot control.
Perhaps, a feeling of being alone.
Hate, maybe. Worthlessness.

One day will be different from the rest.
Your parents will yell too much, or you will fail another test.
Suddenly, your life is spinning out of control.

Cutting.
You'd heard about it.
Terrible.

But you try it anyway, and you can never stop.

You hate every scar on your arms.
You are ashamed of them as soon as its over, ashamed of how good it feels.

The pain is indescribable.
Good.
Good pain.
Terrible pain.

You cut deeper.
Make this hurt last longer.

Make yourself pay for this nightmare you have wrought upon yourself.

What if, on the day I popped my first razorblade out of my cheapo disposable razor and pressed it to my skin, someone had told me that I was stronger?

I'm better than this.

Every 18 minutes, an American claims their own life.
Every day, eighty.
So. Many. Lives.
More than half were teens.
So. Young.

A percentage of those were 'cutters'.

Cutting is not a culture, or a way of life.
It is a way to release what hasn't been said.

I AM stronger.

I know that now.

I will not be one in eighty.
I refuse to be reduced to a mere statistic.

Each of those eighty had lives.
They had family who loved them and cared about them.
They might have, if they looked hard enough, even had friends.

Next time you make fun of an 'emo', think about that.

Perhaps they needed a reminder that they too, were stronger.

I am Stronger.
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Comments26
anonymous's avatar
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NikkiFirestarter's avatar
NikkiFirestarterProfessional General Artist
Wow. Beautiful.

It really hits home..
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
oh hey. thanks :) it all gets better. it really does.
NikkiFirestarter's avatar
NikkiFirestarterProfessional General Artist
You're welcome :3
Gyzmo-Grim's avatar
Gyzmo-GrimHobbyist General Artist
I always remember 2 things when I feel like my is not worth living~
1. Many people have it worse than you.
2. Remember what you have, not what you don't.
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thats a good idea. when i was depressed, i always made a list of ten things worth living for, and now i have like a billion lists.
Gyzmo-Grim's avatar
Gyzmo-GrimHobbyist General Artist
that's a good idea too. The people who get help are the ones who aren't completely suicidal, they still have the will to survive.
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
i agree, but suicidal people dont really want to want to die either.

oh drat, tht sentence makes no sense. does it?
Gyzmo-Grim's avatar
Gyzmo-GrimHobbyist General Artist
It makes sense.
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
good!
imaduckyrawr's avatar
imaduckyrawrHobbyist Writer
really amazing, really personal.
i love this.
:hug:
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thanks (:
WhoaItsLindsey's avatar
WhoaItsLindsey Photographer
for some odd reason, i don't remember ever seeing this! i can't believe i haven't seen it!

this is so amazing. what you wrote made me almost cry. it really makes you think. amazing work.
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thanks! you dont know what that means to me. i re-read it a lot for self encouragement.
WhoaItsLindsey's avatar
WhoaItsLindsey Photographer
that's a good idea!
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
yea
Duckmad's avatar
DuckmadHobbyist Photographer
I love this i understand it so much as i went through depresion im still on the medication but i am getting better now. So touching.
Well done :)
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thanks. i went through it too, and i still am. i never took meds tho. you are stronger! its my new motto.
Duckmad's avatar
DuckmadHobbyist Photographer
Oh that is sad to here :'( I hope you get through it just no there is always someone there to help you through this but the hard part is just opening your eyes to it :hug: I think what helped me was my animals I felt happyish and comfortable around them (maybe thats why i own so many lol)I wish you all the best and happiness in the future you are stronger than this illness if i can beat it so can you even without meds :heart: :hug:
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thanks so much for the kind an d encouraging words.
Duckmad's avatar
DuckmadHobbyist Photographer
Its my pleasure i understand what you are going through but it gets easier when you fight it :hug:
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
thanks for the support, its getting better. it all gets better in time.
Duckmad's avatar
DuckmadHobbyist Photographer
Thats good to hear :hug:
HopelessLavender's avatar
HopelessLavenderStudent Filmographer
^^
anonymous's avatar
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