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I know I haven't posted here in like a year or so but...the past couple of days have been kind of weird.
I opened up my old Photobucket account because I was looking to revamp this little dude. Here's his first art and a concept I did the other day. I made him initially way back when as part of a (I guess) semi-open species called Casivians, the invisionfree forums for which I basically lived on for two or three years. The Casivian Empire was my first introduction to RP, to writing stories, and to making non-mary-sue characters, and following design guidelines and all that. I hated all of middle school, I hated the place I lived and who I was at the time, but the Casivian Empire Forums were like...my one pleasant memory from being 11-13. I remember sitting at the library computers for hours, drawing with a mouse, and when I eventually got my first wacom tablet, moving to my home computer to draw with that.
I was obnoxious in middle school. Everything I wrote and drew was hot garbo. I'm shocked that anyone on the forum tolerated me to any extent, let alone actually RP'd with me, shipped characters, honestly I feel I was really close with the community. I don't know why I stopped visiting. I think that phase of my life just kind of ended and I fell out of it. Apparently there was some drama on the deviantART side of the community, but I don't remember any of it since I wasn't involved at all.
Anyways...I went to go revamp this guy and found, on that same photobucket account, almost all of my other Casivians. Noah here is who I came for, but my first one Heather was there as well, Zithura, Tekki-tekki, some that don't have names attached, some that I didn't even get to claim the eggs for yet but still made designs for anyways...and it really, really made me miss the CEF. So, thanks to my terrible knack for memorization, I still had the URL memorized. Sadly, the forums were broken; I guess Invisionfree switched to a paid service or shut down or something, but regardless the forums are gone. Maybe I saved myself some embarassment from reading all my old, terrible RP's. But I searched Twitter to see if anyone remembered it and found nothing other than one half-deleted thread, and on here I only found one submission and didn't recognize the casi or artist. So off to the deviantART group I went.
Not surprisingly, pretty much every account I checked had been dead since around the same time I left. Retrospectively, I think everyone started to not reply to threads so much anymore and the whole forums slowly died at once. But one account was still active, having had a journal from earlier this year.
They were announcing, and trying to inform everyone who was on the CEF, that the lead admin had passed away.
I left them my contact info and I hope I hear back from them, because I'm honestly still a little shocked. It's easy to look at an avatar of a pokemon and forget there's a living, breathing person on the other side of it. That admin in particular had been extremely helpful in my time there, and also extremely tolerant of my constant bullshit. I'm shocked that she's gone. I just want to talk to her, or to the person that posted the journal, or anyone from that time because I want to apologize. I was a horrible person back then, I was obnoxious, and just a general nusiance to be around. The CEF was one of my first real homes on the internet where I talked to people a lot, and I say SO OFTEN that there's no amount of money on Earth you could offer to send me back in time to middle school, but I'd give so much to have that place back.
It makes me wonder what happened to the species creator. I never really knew her, she left the forums in the hands of the lead admin either right before or right after I joined. But part of me wants to seek her out because I really want to see this species come back. Was it just elemental sparkledogs? I guess, but the world was interesting, the lore was interesting, and the inclusivity of the environment made those forums so fucking special. I wonder if she still loves them, and if she'd relaunch the forums if enough people came back. If she doesn't, I wonder if she'd be willing to pass the species along for someone else to handle or if she'd rather let sleeping dogs lie. I'd take them in a heartbeat, but that's not my call to make by any means. And obviously I've got no plans to go internet stalk someone I don't know except by a common name and a jellyfish icon. I just like to dream.
If anyone reading this was ever on the CEF, I was Phentys. A lot has changed. But I'm sorry.
------------------------------------
I know this probably isn't the kind of rambling sappy garbage you were expecting to see under some creepy body horror goodness, but the whole reason I wanted to revamp Noah was because I wanted to draw something cute and scary, and Noah's always been a folding chair of teeth and fingers at his heart. I also wanted a new SFW commission example for my lineless stuff. His element was dream-star, by the way.
And thank you for your continued support.
I opened up my old Photobucket account because I was looking to revamp this little dude. Here's his first art and a concept I did the other day. I made him initially way back when as part of a (I guess) semi-open species called Casivians, the invisionfree forums for which I basically lived on for two or three years. The Casivian Empire was my first introduction to RP, to writing stories, and to making non-mary-sue characters, and following design guidelines and all that. I hated all of middle school, I hated the place I lived and who I was at the time, but the Casivian Empire Forums were like...my one pleasant memory from being 11-13. I remember sitting at the library computers for hours, drawing with a mouse, and when I eventually got my first wacom tablet, moving to my home computer to draw with that.
I was obnoxious in middle school. Everything I wrote and drew was hot garbo. I'm shocked that anyone on the forum tolerated me to any extent, let alone actually RP'd with me, shipped characters, honestly I feel I was really close with the community. I don't know why I stopped visiting. I think that phase of my life just kind of ended and I fell out of it. Apparently there was some drama on the deviantART side of the community, but I don't remember any of it since I wasn't involved at all.
Anyways...I went to go revamp this guy and found, on that same photobucket account, almost all of my other Casivians. Noah here is who I came for, but my first one Heather was there as well, Zithura, Tekki-tekki, some that don't have names attached, some that I didn't even get to claim the eggs for yet but still made designs for anyways...and it really, really made me miss the CEF. So, thanks to my terrible knack for memorization, I still had the URL memorized. Sadly, the forums were broken; I guess Invisionfree switched to a paid service or shut down or something, but regardless the forums are gone. Maybe I saved myself some embarassment from reading all my old, terrible RP's. But I searched Twitter to see if anyone remembered it and found nothing other than one half-deleted thread, and on here I only found one submission and didn't recognize the casi or artist. So off to the deviantART group I went.
Not surprisingly, pretty much every account I checked had been dead since around the same time I left. Retrospectively, I think everyone started to not reply to threads so much anymore and the whole forums slowly died at once. But one account was still active, having had a journal from earlier this year.
They were announcing, and trying to inform everyone who was on the CEF, that the lead admin had passed away.
I left them my contact info and I hope I hear back from them, because I'm honestly still a little shocked. It's easy to look at an avatar of a pokemon and forget there's a living, breathing person on the other side of it. That admin in particular had been extremely helpful in my time there, and also extremely tolerant of my constant bullshit. I'm shocked that she's gone. I just want to talk to her, or to the person that posted the journal, or anyone from that time because I want to apologize. I was a horrible person back then, I was obnoxious, and just a general nusiance to be around. The CEF was one of my first real homes on the internet where I talked to people a lot, and I say SO OFTEN that there's no amount of money on Earth you could offer to send me back in time to middle school, but I'd give so much to have that place back.
It makes me wonder what happened to the species creator. I never really knew her, she left the forums in the hands of the lead admin either right before or right after I joined. But part of me wants to seek her out because I really want to see this species come back. Was it just elemental sparkledogs? I guess, but the world was interesting, the lore was interesting, and the inclusivity of the environment made those forums so fucking special. I wonder if she still loves them, and if she'd relaunch the forums if enough people came back. If she doesn't, I wonder if she'd be willing to pass the species along for someone else to handle or if she'd rather let sleeping dogs lie. I'd take them in a heartbeat, but that's not my call to make by any means. And obviously I've got no plans to go internet stalk someone I don't know except by a common name and a jellyfish icon. I just like to dream.
If anyone reading this was ever on the CEF, I was Phentys. A lot has changed. But I'm sorry.
------------------------------------
I know this probably isn't the kind of rambling sappy garbage you were expecting to see under some creepy body horror goodness, but the whole reason I wanted to revamp Noah was because I wanted to draw something cute and scary, and Noah's always been a folding chair of teeth and fingers at his heart. I also wanted a new SFW commission example for my lineless stuff. His element was dream-star, by the way.
And thank you for your continued support.
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1285x1219px 1.02 MB
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