dreams about zombies=mostly awesome, but somewhat horrifying too
dreams about my grandpa= sad but sometimes worth it to "interact" with him again
*Poppy died 3 years ago and he was not only my grandpa, but also my best friend. He did the majority of raising me and my siblings, and is the only person I think actually every understood me, truly. For those of you that can't relate, picture losing your parent or best friend.*
My dream last night involved both Poppy and zombies, it was weird and fine until the end. I was out gathering food and supplies whilst someone was assigned to watch my grandpa, because he wasn't as fit/able to defend himself. When I came back, I saw 4 zombie dogs running and the guy that was supposed to be watching Poppy running saying the safe house was invaded. By the end of the running around, he had been bit. I immediately ran to him asking what he did with my grandpa- put him up in the attic of the barn (via ladder) or tried to help him escape and he didn't make it... what? He said I just left him, there were dogs. They were too fast. He didn't mean to leave him but he just ran. (Fair enough, right. I am logical enough to understand, even in my dreams, that it would be very human to just run and get out when in danger, especially without concern of an 90 year old man.) The fact that he left the room and didn't even try to help, just ran, I had to go back. So I booked it, top speed, taking a dog out on my way. Then I woke up, I remember people screaming stuff in the background- probs "no! he's dead" or "You're going to kill yourself" or "Look out" or whatever, but I think I got tackled by a zombie dog.
All and all the dream wasn't that bad and my grandpa hadn't come in until the very end-- almost right before it ended- which is weird because he just... appeared... and I didn't question it in my dream. I know that if someone I love and I were in an actual zombie apocalypse, and that person was SURE to be eaten, but I could still escape... I would escape. I wouldn't leave them though, I would have to know that LITERALLY nothing I can do will change that outcome (or if they were bit I suppose). If it were an old person or bit person.... I know that in survival, they are just a waste of resources, etc (not that it changes how hard it would be... but I'm being honest... I'm not saying I would like it, but if I've been near-death enough times to know how I handle things.) but I would at least waste a bullet to put in their head, or something... anything. To me, that is more kind than letting them be until they get eaten alive by zombies. Theoretically.
Regardless, woke up and seeing him just made me feel all that pain and heartache all over again, like it was taunting, but worth it because for a few seconds, I got to see him as I saw him alive... the way my mind remembers him, his behavior, etc. I just hate waking up feeling like I'm still in the dream-aka kill mode- and then a half second after waking, realize it was a dream and ball because of how much I miss Poppy.
He used to joke that whenever someone asked him where he was going, who he was meeting, what he was doing, etc. he'd respond with some ridiculous statement involving going off somewhere (usually "I'm running away. Irene said she'd take me..(place, event, activity, etc).." with Irene, a beautiful, 20-something bombshell. He used to even point her out on the Price Is Right. Oh, that one is Irene. Of course it was a different girl, different story, different details every time--minus that it was Irene, his beautiful 20-something bombshell. Years of this went on, and finally my grandma asked, "Who IS Irene, I'm starting to think she's actually real" (Jokingly of course). He responded, "You know, Irene. Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene. I'll see you in my dreams" (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goodnigh…) he actually sang it too. He was very playful and had a good heart. We had lots of inside-jokes like that. I miss him a lot, I wasn't kidding/exaggerating when I say we really were best friends.
So too him I say this morning, "Goodnight Irene. Goodnight Irene. I'll see you in my dreams."