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:iconhigh-class-trash:High-Class-Trash posted a status
I've started to feel very disconnected to larka lately

When I first created her she was everything I wanted to be
She'd act tough and confident ( something I could only dream of)
She'd dress how I wanted to
Look how I wish I was ( she was very tall and thin)

Soon after she became a combination of both what I wanted to be and who I was
And at the time I decided to add her anxiety and worries in the mix cause that's who I was

I eventually made her the opposite
And have more of my qualities
She became smaller and more rounded ( much like myself)
But she was overly optimistic
She was still what I strived to be
Overly joyful
And cute ( I based her around wanting to be more childlike and cute in that aspect)

That kinda takes us to now

As of now I'm far more confident in being myself than I ever have been.
I don't feel the need to hide things about myself anymore. I'm happy being me.
I'm a genuinely cheery optimistic person a fair amount of the time. I get down like anyone else but I work through it and do what I need to for myself .
I think this is why I feel so disconnected
I'm no longer trying to hide myself from people, I'm no longer trying to pretend to be what I'm not

So that leads to
What to do
I think I might give larka a major upgrade
It's probably going to take some time for me to settle with something but it'll happen soon hopefully
And hopefully I can go back to feeling connected to the character I put out to represent myself


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